Harry Gets Real

by Sogo

After being abandoned in New York by the Dursleys, Harry is found by the Ghostbusters. When he turns 11, he's not quite as eager to go to Hogwarts as one might think... But if nothing else, the year will certainly be interesting. Contains some exploration of magicks and magical American politics. Rated for language.

9. Chapter 8

IT'S A CHAPTER! HOORAY!

You can also sort of thank RyuuTsukiko for this update as they pointed out the very VERY exciting news: THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS IS ON NETFLIX. That's right, guys, you can now watch the ridiculousness that is the Ghostbusters cartoon on NETFLIX. (Cue moment of dancing joy.)

Anyways, that managed to pull me away from my newest distraction long enough to finish this. So... yay! (By the way, that newest distraction is my very own Nintendo Switch, and a copy of Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, which may have just become my new favorite Zelda game of all time. Three thumbs up. (I don't care that I only have two.)) I'm not sure where I'm going with this, so I'll just say: Enjoy the chapter.

And review. Always review.

Chapter Eight: In Which Harry Gets One Last Gift and Makes a Dangerous Friendship

The rest of the holidays sped past. Soon enough, they were loading up the Ecto-4 again, heading back to school.

"Are the holidays always this exciting around you?" Hermione asked with a grin as they boarded the plane for the flight back.

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked, returning her grin. "They were down right boring, if you ask me."

"I don't think a New Year's poltergeist is boring," Hermione shot back.

Harry grinned more widely as he thought back to their New Year's celebration. Deciding that because the Grangers were all tourists, they had to go watch the ball drop in person, the hours before midnight had been spent partying in Times Square. The night had been going well until a poltergeist had decided to possess the dropping ball, and the guys had decided to take a step back and see how Harry and Evie worked together. (Also, Peter had been pretty tipsy at that point, and all four had unfortunately learned the hard way that drinking and operating a proton thrower was a recipe for disaster.)

Plus, it was only a class four.

The bust was short and one sided and a lot of fun. They had also sort of blown up the New Year's ball, but since it had exploded almost exactly at midnight, there was a lot of cheering as opposed to a lot of jeering. The party had then continued for another couple hours.

"Yeah, okay, not New Year's," Harry agreed.

"And what about the army of possessed gingerbread men that attacked downtown?" Hermione added.

That had also been a wonderful combination of fun and delicious, and because there were so many, everyone had ended up pitching in. Including the Grangers.

This meant that Wendell had gotten to live out one of his secret fantasies, and Monica and Janine had ended up working together to tag team a group of smaller ones that tried smashing the firehouse. The gingerbread men hadn't gotten far, and Monica later claimed it was one of the most exhilarating moments of her life.

Plus, Harry had gotten to ride in the side car of the Ecto-3 (1) taking pot shots at anything that looked like a cookie. That automatically made any bust awesome.

"I really didn't know Grandma's aim was that good," Harry reminisced.

(It really was impressive, as she'd hit ninety percent of her shots (better than Harry), especially as she was the one driving the Ecto-3 at the time.)

Hermione shook her head, amused, as they sat down and pulled out one of the books she'd gotten for Christmas. Yes, she was re-reading it at this point, but it was a very good book!

"Cards again?" Evie asked as she sat next to Harry, already pulling out a calculator.

Harry considered it. "Yeah, alright. I'm game. Anyone else in?"

Slimer cheerfully slimed the seat next to them. "Mwe! Mwe!"

Evie passed over a pair of gloves and assisted Slimer in putting them on without covering them in ectoplasm as Harry started shuffling the cards. The adults around them hid smiles as the three settled in for what would no doubt be a fast and furious game.

"You're going down this time, Spengs," Harry declared firmly.

"You wish," Evie retorted, turning to small table they were playing on.

Then the dealing began and the game started.

HP/RGB

"That no-good little slime ball!" Harry ranted as they disembarked to many wide-eyed stares of the British populace at the sight of a fucking jet touching down outside King's Cross. "That anzillu-" (2)

"That's rude, Harry," Evie reminded.

"I don't care! I can say whatever I want about him after that little trick!" Harry snarled. "I should blast him!"

Peter's head popped out of the plane. "I'll help!"

"Peter!" Egon and Ray snapped together.

Peter looked only slightly chastised.

At the same time, Evie didn't say a word, but she did turn a very intense stare on to Harry, who wilted under it.

"I know, I know," he grumbled. "Slimer is a very important contribution to science and we're not allowed to blast him. Even if he cheats at cards."

"Well, you shouldn't have been playing for M&Ms, then," Hermione pointed out loftily. "He probably wouldn't have tried it if there weren't food on the line."

"Little…" Harry began again, before shrinking from Evie's glare. "Nevermind."

"Let's get you guys on the train," Winston chuckled, shaking his head as he led the way into King's Cross. "We have an appointment at Madame Tussauds to stop what sounds like a class four repeating vapor."

"Really?" Harry asked, surprised. "After what happened at the Guggenheim?" He paused. "And the Louvre?" Another pause. "And the-"

"Hey, hey, hey, that wasn't our fault!" Peter protested immediately.

"It was sort of our fault," Ray admitted.

"What happened?" Wendell asked.

"Nothing!" Peter said a little too quickly. "Besides, they were able to fix the Mona Lisa, so I don't see what the big deal was-"

"The Louvre didn't see it that way," Egon said dryly. "Or the Guggenheim." He paused. "Or the-"

"I think they get the idea, man," Winston interrupted.

"That was your fault, you know," Ray told Peter as they walked. "I wanted to lead them to the modern art section, but nooo…"

Peter mumbled something uncomplimentary about art snobs under his breath.

Hermione lagged behind the others a bit. She wasn't worried about getting lost, as she knew where they were going, and the end of her book had a very interesting section she wanted to finish. Unfortunately, she wasn't paying much attention to her surroundings as she dropped further and further behind.

"Look out!"

Hermione was shaken from her musings as a hand grabbed the back of her jacket and yanked her out of the way of a fast moving luggage cart that was about to hit her. Hermione gasped as she turned to see her savior.

An average looking professionally dressed woman gave her a tight smile. "Better watch where you read. Exercise your common sense. You'll probably be needing it."

With that cryptic statement, the woman gave her a quick wink with a bright blue eye and strode off.

"Thank you!" Hermione called after her, though there was a questioning note in her voice. She glanced up to where the others had headed before glancing back at the woman, but the woman was already gone.

With a frown, Hermione tucked the book under her arm, resolving to finish it later, and hurried after her friends and family. The woman had been strange. And, now that she thought about it, had an American accent, too. But she shoved it out of her mind. There were other things to worry about.

She caught up just in time to hear her mother asking a question.

"So, why doesn't anyone notice people vanishing into the wall here?"

"A good question," Egon approved. "Actually, this whole section of the wall is layered with extensive charms and wards to make it skirt the edges of your perception. Or, in layman's terms, it's hard to notice if you don't have magic. That's why you'll never see anything hanging on the wall, either."

"Not that they could, even if they did notice it," Peter pointed out.

"On the contrary, as long as the barrier between the platforms is closed, there's no reason they couldn't," Evie piped up.

Everyone turned to look at her in surprise.

"What?" she asked. "I made a new runestone over break. It helps me see magicks when I'm touching it." She held up a small stone absolutely filled with complex runic clusters.

Next to her, Egon was nodding. "Evie is right. But it's a moot point, as the charms and wards remain in place even when the barrier is closed."

"Okay, Evie's got her rune stone, but how do you know that, Egon?" Peter demanded.

"Peter, Egon's had special glasses to let him see magicks since we first met him," Ray said with a frown.

Peter paused for a moment. "Really? How do you know that?"

"How do you not?" Ray asked, looking honestly baffled.

"I knew this," Winston offered.

"I did too," Harry agreed. "He offered to help make my glasses do that in a few years."

"Where do you think I got the idea for the rune stone?" Evie asked. "I'm not talented enough with the delicate work to try inscribing them on my glasses yet."

"Plus, you might melt them," Harry added with a wicked grin.

"...I do not have any desire to get new glasses," Evie allowed.

"However, with you spending most of your time at Hogwarts, I wouldn't suggest doing it now," Egon added. "The magic from the wards and the amount being used might well blind you."

"Plus, it would be considered cheating in Quidditch," Harry agreed.

"I'm so glad to see you have your priorities straight," Hermione deadpanned as they walked through the wall.

Harry snickered.

HP/RGB

The train ride was uneventful, and before they knew it, they were back at Hogwarts. Though Hermione did have to dissuade Harry from parading through the train, proclaiming "We're back!"

Evie didn't help, partly because she was too amused by watching the situation to break it up, and partly because she was taking notes on her new frog, Charles.

No, seriously, she'd gotten out a notebook and was recording measurements and everything. Everything.

But they finally reached the castle and rode up in the horseless carriages, and as Harry put it, "Actually acted like normal students-how boring!"

There was a bit of a feast to welcome them back, but nothing stood out, not until they finally returned to the Ravenclaw dorm. There, Harry found a wrapped gift sitting on his bed.

He considered this for a moment, then glanced around at his dormmate. (Man, he really needed to learn their names one of these days.) "Hey, did any of you guys put this up here?"

They all responded in the negative.

With a frown, Harry picked up the package and headed back into the common room. He stopped at the bottom of the staircase leading to the girl's dorms, and shouted.

"EVIE! HERMIONE!"

There was the sound of pounding footsteps before the two girls reached the bottom of the staircase, Hermione looking worried and Evie looking curious. Charles was clinging to Evie's cheek.

"Harry? What's wrong?" Hermione asked.

Harry held up the package. "Someone left this on my bed. Thoughts?"

"Maybe someone wanted to give you an anonymous present?" Hermione suggested, suddenly looking a lot less worried and a lot more annoyed. "You're supposed to be famous, Harry, it's not exactly a Holmesian deduction."

"I always sucked at those anyways," Harry said sourly. "And if someone wanted to give me a gift anonymously, they could have done it in the normal wizarding way-by owl."

Evie dug in her pouch for her magic sight runestone. "Well, there's not a curse on it or anything. ...In fact, it doesn't seem to have anything magical at all."

Harry weighed the package in his hand thoughtfully. "And it does feel like a piece of clothing." He felt it over. "I'm thinking… maybe a pj set? It's too big to be just a shirt and not bulky enough to be pants." He ran his hands over it, getting a better feel. "No, wait. It's… a blanket? No, still too thin. It feels almost like a cloak, but it's too light and thin to be of any real use if it is. Maybe a summer cloak, but then why would I be getting it at Christmas…?"

"Definitely no good at Holmesian deductions," Hermione said dryly.

"Just very good at guessing presents," Harry countered, before finally opening the gift and pulling out the silvery material within. "Ah ha! Cloak, I was right!"

Evie's mouth had fallen open though, even as Harry swung it around his shoulders to try it on.

"So, how do I look?"

"Damkianna," Evie whispered, tracing a runic ward against evil on her chest.

Harry blinked. "What?" He looked down. "Anpa!" His body had vanished.

"It's an invisibility cloak!" Hermione whispered excitedly as Harry pulled it off. She dived down to pick up a card that had fallen from the folds. "Your father left this in my possession before he died. It's time it was returned to you. Use it well."

"No name?" Harry asked, already folding the cloak back up.

"Nothing," Hermione agreed, passing the card to Harry.

"Harry, I think we should send that cloak home immediately," Evie said, still staring wide eyed at it, an almost panicked look in her eyes.

Harry looked up in surprise. "What? Why?"

"Invisibility cloaks can be seen by people with magic sight runestones," Evie explained. "It's one of the advantages to having one. It should project a slight aura around every cloak. But I can't see it on this one."

Harry looked down at the cloak, uncomprehending.

"Harry, there's a legend of one cloak that wouldn't have an aura. A cloak that didn't get its magic from spells or the material. The only cloak that could be passed down through a family without wearing out. The Mortem Amictus."

Harry stared at her for a moment. "...I got death from that, and that's about it."

Evie closed her eyes for a moment to collect herself. "There's a legend that, centuries ago, Death gave three powerful items to a trio of brothers. Whoever collects all three supposedly becomes the Master of Death. I don't know how true it is, but the fact that there is cloak suggests there's at least some basis in fact."

She picked up the cloak. "This appears to be the third item, Mortem Amictus, or Death's Cloak. The other two are the Mortem Lapis, or Death's Stone, and the Mortem Lituus, or Death's Stave. It could be a wand. The translation is a little fuzzy. Together, they make up Mortem Munera, roughly meaning Death's Gifts. There's an old wizarding children's tale about it as well, and I believe they are colloquially known as the 'Deathly Hallows'. I… I would suggest sending this to Uncle Egon and Uncle Ray to analyze."

Harry grimaced, but if there was any truth in her words, he couldn't not do it. "Alright, that's probably a good idea."

"A children's story?" Hermione asked, a little confused. "You're getting rid of it because of a children's story?"

"No, we're getting rid of it because of an ancient legend this might just prove as fact," Evie corrected.

"A legend, then?" Hermione asked dubiously.

"We deal with a lot of legends," Harry pointed out. "Besides, last year would you have thought a cerberus could exist outside of a legend?"

"...Okay, good point," Hermione agreed, making a mental note to not dismiss anything out of hand just because it was a legend.

"And maybe we're wrong, but Papa Ray and Papa Egon will be better able to tell than us," Harry added. "Maybe they can find who it's from, too."

"I'll find Slimer," Evie volunteered, passing Harry the cloak again and heading for the door. "He's probably down in the kitchen, anyways. You can write the letter telling them what's going on. If we're lucky, they won't have left the country yet."

"Yeah, Papa Ray's always wanted an excuse to visit the Tower of London," Harry agreed. "I wonder if the security will confiscate their PKE meters."

Evie snorted. "I'd like to see them try."

HP/RGB

"You know, Harry, it's funny," Hermione commented the next morning, at breakfast. "When we were at your… well, the firehouse, all your dads cooked except for Egon. I was wondering if there was a reason for that."

Evie glanced up at that. "Actually, I was wondering that as well. From what I recall, Uncle Egon is an excellent chef."

"Yeah…" Harry slowly agreed. "It's not so much that he can't cook as it is he's not allowed to."

"Why?" Hermione asked.

"Because one time when he cooked, my other dads made the mistake of asking what it was made out of," Harry said, looking a little ill at the thought of it. "Unfortunately, well his cooking is good, his… um… choice of ingredients is not… well…"

"So he was using some sort of weird fungus?" Hermione asked.

"I wish that was the problem," Harry informed her. "I really really wish that was it." (3)

Hermione and Evie exchanged a glance.

"Anyways, long story short, Egon is not allowed to cook ever again, not without strict supervision," Harry finished with a shrug. He glanced down at the rest of his breakfast. "...And I don't think I'm hungry anymore."

Evie frowned, and looked ready to venture a guess (something probably not far off and something that would definitely ruin Hermione's appetite), but was interrupted by owls squawking overhead. It took only a moment to find the cause of their alarm, as Slimer swooped in a second later, an envelope in his hand.

He quickly zeroed in on the three. Harry was the only one with the presence of mind to duck under the table as they were practically dive bombed by the ghost, leaving both thoroughly slimed.

"...You know, suddenly I'm not hungry either," Hermione said weakly, looking at her plate, which had also been splattered with ectoplasm.

"Thank you, Slimer," Evie said dryly, taking the letter. "Harry's hiding under the table."

Slimer made a happy noise as he passed underneath. "HAWWY!"

"Euagh!"

Hermione couldn't keep a grin off her face as Harry, now liberally drenched with ectoplasm crawled out from under the table. "Thanks, Evie. You're a real pal. One of these days I'm going to find your snack cake stash, and I'm going to feed the whole thing to him."

"I don't have a snack cake stash," Evie denied immediately. "And even if I did, you'd never find it."

"What's in the letter?" Hermione asked, as Evie wiped her hands on the tablecloth to get them clean enough to open it.

"Just a message that we were right about the… ah… item. They're going to run a few tests to make sure it's safe to use. If it is, we'll probably get it back."

"What kind of tests?" Harry asked dubiously. "And are we even going to want it back afterwards?"

"I'm not entirely sure and I'd assume so," Evie frowned. "Why?"

"You didn't see what they did to the microwave," Harry groaned.

"But you didn't have any problems with the toaster," Evie pointed out.

Harry paused at that. "Actually, no, I don't. That… probably says something right there."

"What's wrong with the toaster?" Hermione asked.

"There's a bit of an energy saver… installed in it," Harry said slowly.

"Let's just say that if you play the right tunes, you don't need electricity to toast the bread," Evie added. (4)

"Oh." Hermione pushed her plate away. "Well, I'm done. How about you two? If we hurry, we have time to get a shower in before class."

"Class?" Harry asked. "Isn't that the thing you sit in to learn things?"

"I hate you and I'm going now," Hermione decided, turning around and making as dignified an exit as she could when splattered with slime.

"Hey, Slimer, you can eat Hermione's breakfast. And mine, too," Harry added as almost an afterthought.

He wasn't sure why he'd bothered. The spud had been eyeing the plates, and probably would have eaten them anyways if given a few more minutes of contemplation.

HP/RGB

In hindsight, perhaps it had been a mistake to go looking for another abandoned classroom that would suffice to test the new broom mounted proton cannon. It wasn't so much that they didn't need to find a location (no, they definitely needed that, and it wouldn't be a good idea to just test it in Evie's lab) as it was what they found instead.

Evie had several specific characteristics she was looking for in a testing room, and, unfortunately, most of the rooms didn't live up to her standards. It wasn't even that they were high standards, but it was hard to find a room that was large and well ventilated in an old castle. Frankly, they'd gotten lucky with the lab.

It was while they were wandering in search of the room that they came across one that, while it otherwise would live up to Evie's specifications, was unfortunately in use.

By a pair of redheads clearly in the middle of brewing an experimental potion. Harry and Evie (as Hermione was currently in Charms) could immediately tell because the two had set up a line of cauldrons, all with slightly different potions simmering within, a thing Evie had become well acquainted with in her studies and Harry had seen Ray doing a few times previously.

It was also immediately apparent that neither had set up the correct safety precautions when brewing experimental potions.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Evie nearly shrieked, shoving further into the room, startling the two boys who looked about thirteen or fourteen, and were completely identical.

"Hang on, what do you think you're doing?" one demanded.

"Yeah, you can't just barge in here!" the other agreed.

"This is completely unsafe!" Harry cried, following Evie closely.

"Well, we know mixing experimental potions is never completely safe…" the first twin began.

"Forget that!" Evie snapped. "We don't care about that. It's the complete lack of safety precautions you have here!"

"You can't go mixing potion variations without a basic protective ward around them," Harry agreed. "They'll contaminate each other, and then look where you'd be!"

"Completely defeating the purpose of having variations and rendering your experiment useless," Evie finished. "Harry, help me get a ward up around these."

"Ward?" the twins chorused.

"I'd say we should write another letter to the ACM," Harry commented as he kneeled down next to the cauldrons. Thanks to Ray, he could carve the runes for this particular ward in his sleep. It was one of only a few he knew so well. "Tell them Snape's actively encouraging a dangerous environment like this."

"I'll think about it," Evie decided. "I think he's still in trouble from their last enquiry."

Harry grinned at that.

"What's the ACM?" one of the twins asked.

"American Council of Magic," Harry explained shortly. "Though I understand there's a group that wants them to change the name to the American Council for Magical Entities."

"I still don't understand why that's supposed to be funny," Evie mumbled as she activated a ward around the first cauldron and moved to the second.

"That's because you're boring." (5)

"I'd say we're not boring, though," one of the twins commented.

"Yeah, and we don't get it either," the other agreed.

"That's because you're British Magicals and therefore ignorant of everything to do with the modern era," Harry explained, as though it were obvious. "And no, I don't feel like explaining that right now."

"That's because you're boring," Evie returned.

"Not true!" Harry claimed immediately. "I am the very epitome of non-boringness! None can stand up to my sheer lack of bor-ousity!"

"...I'm not even going to dignify that with a response," Evie decided as she finished etching the last ward and stepped back. "What exactly were you hoping to achieve with these potions, anyways? I recognize the color changing base, but…"

"We're trying to change the amount of time it lasts," one of the twins explained.

"The hope is that we can use it change the color of people's hair…" the other added.

"...But right now it's only lasting an hour, and we want it to last through an entire feast," the first finished.

"Then why not use a runic variant?" Evie asked, looking slightly baffled.

The two exchanged glances before chorusing, "A what?"

"I'm adding that to the list of things we're complaining about that Snape doesn't teach," Harry said sourly. "I mean, even I know that."

"A runic variant," Evie repeated, slipping into lecture mode. "Potions is inherently a ritualistic based magic, because it must be made the exact same way every time, and you must put in just the right amount of ingredients, and-"

"They don't care about that," Harry broke in. "Get to the point."

"Yes, right," Evie agreed quickly. "The point is, because potions are inherently ritualistic in nature, you can alter them the same way you could alter any other ritual, and the easiest way to do this is with runes."

"What Evie's dancing around," Harry said, shooting her a glare, "is that brewing a potion in a runic circle can change the effects of the potion. The inherent nature of the potion can't be changed, but you can alter things like the length of the effect, like you're trying to do with your experimentation."

"Do you think you can show us?" one of the twins asked.

"We're pranksters," the second explained, "and we want to open up our own joke shop some day."

"We have some great ideas, but some of them we can't quite get to work," the first continued.

"If you could show us those rune things…"

"We might finally be able to fix the problems!"

Harry rubbed his chin and glanced at Evie. "...Pranksters?"

"I'm not sure I have time to take on another pair of rune students," Evie frowned. "But I happen to know you have a lot of free time."

"But I'm not as good at runes as you are," Harry argued.

"You don't have to be," Evie countered. "You just have to teach them the basics for now, and as they improve, maybe I'll have more time to assist as well."

"...Okay, point," Harry agreed. "Fine. I'll teach you," he told the twins. "But you need to do something for us, first."

"Name it," the first said.

"We need a big abandoned classroom with good ventilation hopefully on one of the higher floors for Evie to test possibly explosive things in," Harry explained.

"Is that all?" one twin asked.

"Hell, you can just use ours," the second agreed. "It's just down the hall."

And that was how Harry began teaching the Weasley twins runes. Elsewhere, every single teacher in the castle (and Filch) simultaneously shivered.

And, about twenty minutes later, Evie blew up both the broom and the prototype cannon. It also blew the windows of the testing room out.

Yeah, this room would do quite well for testing.

HP/RGB

The Weasley twins were brilliant, Harry decided. Sure, they were held back a bit by their unfortunate upbringing, but they were young enough that could be corrected and incredibly innovative.

"You know, I think they might actually have the potential to master runic casting," he told Evie one day.

"What makes you say that?" Evie asked.

Harry shrugged. It wasn't exactly something he could verbalize, but the people who ended up becoming runic masters had a certain… madness to them. Most people wouldn't be able to compare Evie and the twins and find any similarities, but Harry knew Evie far too well to not.

Runic masters were by far the most rare of casters. Runes were a difficult subject, both because of the time consuming nature of learning them, and their versatility and use in conjunction with so many other types of casting. A person who was a runic caster could learn the runes, yes, and a good one could be very, very good at it. But a master surpassed that. To a runic master, runes were like a second language, and they learned it so well, it became second nature. Within minutes, they could devise a completely new complex runic cluster to do nearly anything needed.

Some of them even created their own runes from scratch, making a completely different language that would work for no one else. Ward built from these runes because nigh impossible to crack.

(It also said a lot that Harry was half certain Evie was developing one of these for herself, but from the few glimpses he'd gleaned, it was still in the early stages.)

Harry was all but positive Evie would eventually become a runic master, if she wasn't already. (He wasn't quite sure where she currently fell on the scale of learning.) She had the mind for it, the drive to get there, and the innovation necessary to create the things a master would have to.

The twins had a similar drive.

"You've only been teaching them for a couple weeks," Evie reminded. "I doubt they've gotten the basics so quickly."

"No, they haven't," Harry agreed. "But they're learning quickly."

Evie "hm"ed. "They have a bit of a reputation, you know."

"I'm not sure how much of that is real and how much is them helping it along," Harry admitted. "I mean, yes, they're troublemakers, but they're really incredibly intelligent."

"I've been aware of that since we found them experimenting with potions," Evie pointed out.

"Then what were you talking about?" Harry asked, confused.

"I wasn't referring to anything. I was just making an observation." Evie turned from the board she was writing on. It was almost filled, anyways. "It's hardly the first time we've come across someone downplaying their intelligence."

Very true. In fact, because of his flippant manner and general cynicism, people frequently forgot that Peter Venkman had not one, but two Ph.D.s. And despite the way the others frequently teased him about it, he had worked hard and long to earn them both (while simultaneously remaining the uncontested beer pong champion of his fraternity and the pranking master of the campus).

(Harry hid a smile at the thought of one of Peter's more amusing tales, when he'd run his own underwear up the flagpole… while still wearing them… and earned himself a place of eternal honor in the fraternity annals.) (6)

"I know," Harry said, frowning. "But what does that have to do with anything?"

Evie blinked in confusion. "...You brought it up."

"That's not what I…" Harry trailed off, deciding that perhaps this was one battle to just let go. "...Nevermind."

"Regardless, I don't have time to teach the twins right now," Evie continued, like she hadn't been stopped. "I barely have time to teach Hermione as it is. I'm afraid you're stuck with your students."

"Also not what I was going for." Some days it was easier to talk to Evie than others. "But on that note, you have time for that?" He gestured at the math filled board behind him.

"These are the equations to refine the PKE meter to better detect the horcruxes," Evie rebutted. "I think I'm close to figuring it out."

Harry stared open mouthed at the equations. "...You need that much math?"

Evie raised an eyebrow. "There's a significant amount of interference in this castle," she pointed out. "I doubt we'd have this much trouble in a place like New York." She paused. "Well, maybe some parts. Besides, this is only part of it. Most of it's already in the computer."

"...Don't want to know," Harry decided.

"It really is quite fascinating," Evie mused, turning back to the board. "I think I have something off in the measures of the-"

"Ack! No! Math!" Harry flailed his arms. "Getting… weaker…! Can't…!"

He mock collapsed.

"You are an embarrassment of a scientist," Evie informed him, no real malice in her tone.

"Thank you, Evie," Harry said, words dripping with sarcasm. He didn't move from his prone position. "You're a real comfort."

"...I try."

HP/RGB

In the coming weeks, the Hogwarts Staff would come to rue the day Harry Potter teamed up with the Weasley twins. And it wasn't for anything they could pin on him, either, because he kept his hands clean, even if he did manage to avoid pretty much every prank tried.

The thing was, it was not because of the runes he was teaching them. That had nothing to do with it. Harry wasn't even certain the teacher knew he was doing that.

No, they detested the fact that Harry Potter had actually had the gall to introduce something new, something awful into the twins' repertoire. Something that was often called the most disgusting substance known to man.

Harry had shown them ectoplasm.

The twins had become fast friends with Slimer, Harry's default source of the gooey material, and had quickly learned how to bribe the small ghost to assist them. Apparently, dung bombs were much improved when someone loaded them with slime, which would absorb the scent and stick to anything close when it went off explosively.

It was the kind of thing Peter would hate. Which, of course, meant that Harry had to have a few of his own. (And by "few" he meant "couple dozen". He was already planning to booby trap his dad's bed.)

It also, as it turned out, was the kind of thing that the staff would hate. As well as a large portion of the students. Unfortunately, there was no proof it was Harry who'd shown the twins how to do it, and he was pretty much unpunishable, anyways.

And if Snape seemed to be slimed an inordinate amount of times, both by the improved dungbombs and Slimer's occasional forays through the dungeons, well, that was entirely coincidence.

Entirely.

Though, Slimer had always had a talent for picking up on the people who least wanted to be slimed and almost targeting them. Certainly targeting their living space. Harry'd heard rumors from the house elves that they were working overtime trying to keep Snape's bed clean (and it wasn't always successful). Apparently it had been designated as Slimer's new favorite nap place.

Even Peeves was being tempted by the new reign of mischief taking over the castle, his natural curiosity and love of pranks overtaking his fear to get near any ghostbusters. Harry had seen him hanging around the twins workshop, and the poltergeist had stopped frantically running every time he caught sight of Harry.

Harry was relatively certain that was a good thing. You know, probably.

HP/RGB

"Harry, I need a favor."

Harry glanced up from his notes, a half planned runic circle that would alter the timing of a potion the twins were working on as well as making it nigh-undetectable. "What? You want a favor from me?"

His surprise was understandable. It was usually he who requested favors from Evie, and very, very rarely did it ever go the other way around.

"To clarify," Evie said, holding a finger up, "I need a favor to see if I have successfully completed a favor for you."

Ah. Well, that was more familiar territory.

"Sure," Harry said, realizing that Evie probably wouldn't have him doing anything stupid, or dangerous, or stupidly dangerous. (Not that that was necessarily a turn-off.) "What do you need?"

"I believe I have succeeded in creating a working prototype of our broomstick mounted proton cannon," Evie explained. "I tested it this morning."

"Well, I didn't hear an explosion," Harry allowed, which was probably a good sign. "It worked, then?"

"I have successfully countered both the periodic total failures as well as the kick back from the proton streams," Evie reported. "Hermione assisted in the testing, but there remains one aspect of the testing we believe is best left to you."

"What?" Harry asked, now completely on board.

"Though the problems are fixed, it is still uncertain whether the broom can adequately perform in a normal situation," Evie said. "Hermione and I would like you to take it out to the Quidditch pitch and… 'put it through its paces', I believe is the colloquial."

"What, now?" Harry questioned, more surprised by the speed, but actually quite excited at the prospect.

"Well, Hermione is likely still assembling the testing apparatus, but…" Evie cut off as Harry gave her a "look". "Yes, we'd like you to come now."

Harry glanced at his notes before shoving them into his bag. Much as he liked the twins, ghostbusting was always going to come first. Always.

And flying a broom with a mounted proton cannon. Because that was just the coolest thing in the history of ever.

HP/RGB

Hermione had indeed set up testing equipment, gathering stares from the few students brave enough to venture out into the cold afternoon. The first-generation magicals would recognize some of the pieces as radar guns and video cameras, but much was unfamiliar even to them.

To be completely honest, even Hermione was baffled by a few of the devices, but she knew that they would gather something important for Evie and decided that in this case, it was probably better not to ask. The was her policy on a lot of things that concerned Evie, actually, a policy she knew Harry frequently adhered to as well.

Evie and Harry appeared just as she was getting the final recorders into place. She took a seat in front of the computer that they were all connected to as Evie led Harry to the center of the pitch.

"The prototype should handle much like a normal broomstick," she explained, finally handing an excited Harry the broom. It looked thicker than a normal broom, and the shaft and bristles seemed to be made of metal as opposed to wood, but other than that it looked every inch a typical broom. "Or, it will until you twist this bit at the front, here."

Evie twisted the end of the broomstick, and the shaft began to glow slightly. The end of it morphed into something resembling more of a barrel, and a small black button popped out of the side.

"This puts it into firing mode, which makes it a lot harder to move. That should counter the kickback, but you have to be careful about engaging it. Otherwise you're liable to find yourself, quite literally, flying off the handle." She gave a sardonic grin. "Pressing this button fires a basic but strong proton stream."

"Awesome," Harry enthused.

A crowd had started to gather in the stands, eager to see whatever was happening. Some people had obviously gone to fetch their friends. Even a few teachers had shown up.

"Basic safety precautions for testing potentially dangerous items will be employed," Evie said firmly, passing Harry a helmet with a built in headset. "We'll monitor you from here and you are to obey our instructions at all times, got it?"

"Not my first rodeo," Harry said, rolling his eyes as he mounted the broom. Evie jogged over to sit next to Hermione, where she put on a headset of her own.

"Spengler to Potter. Radio check."

"Drop the formalities, Spengs, and get me off the ground!"

Hermione rolled her eyes and flipped on the last of the equipment as Evie addressed Harry. "Not a chance, Potter. It's protocol. Rise to a hover, four feet off the ground."

Ahead of her, Harry did so.

"Same readings as we got inside," Hermione reported, reading over the numbers on screen. "Looks stable."

"Good," Evie said. "Potter, rise to ten feet and circle the pitch three times at a reasonable speed."

As Harry complied, Evie couldn't get rid of her grin. "I think I'm going to call it the Ecto-6," she confided to Hermione.

"Well, I know the Ecto-1 and Ecto-4, but the others…?" Hermione asked.

"Ecto-2 is a gyrocopter," Evie explained. "I know I've told you about it before. And the Ecto-3 is the motorized unicycle and sidecar Grandmother was driving around during the cookie incident over break."

Hermione grinned at the memory as Evie continued.

"The Ecto-5 is a motorcycle, though we don't use it much, and Ecto-8 is a boat. We keep it in the same warehouse we keep the Ecto-4 in."

Hermione looked confused. "But why is the boat called Ecto-8 if there's no Ecto-6 or 7? Prior to now, I mean."

"As I understand it, there was originally supposed to be," Evie said with a frown. "They were working on all three at the same time. Only the Ecto-6, which was a repurposed cherry picking machine ended up getting called the Ecto-Crane (and I think it's only been used the one time so far to catch a class 2 inside Miss Fiorino's Linguini), and the Ecto-7, which was an old bomber aircraft, ended up just being called the Ecto-Bomber (It doesn't get much use either, mostly because the Ecto-4 is faster and the Ecto-2 more versatile, but it's great back-up). The Ecto-8 was the only one to keep the original name." (7)

"So, the new Ecto-6?" Hermione mused. "I think it fits."

"So do I," Evie agreed. "I've told Uncle Egon my plans for the name, and he's okayed it. He's working on another potential Ecto-7 right now, which is an RV with a built in mini-containment unit. I'm quite excited to see the plans for that one."

"Road trip?" Hermione asked.

"Definitely. Transporting traps isn't always the safest way to go about things." Evie reached up to press the button on the side of her headset to broadcast her voice to Harry. "Increase speed now up to maximum. But gradually. And continue to only make steady circles."

Harry responded with a raspberry, but did as ordered.

"Harry's not going to be able to fly that most of this summer," Hermione realized.

"Hence the desire for a road trip," Evie admitted. "I think I'll give him this one for his birthday."

"You're going on the road trip too?" Hermione asked. "What about your parents?"

"They will be in Siberia," Evie said shortly, clearly having little desire to talk about it. "I'll be staying with my uncles."

Hermione bit her lip. "Evie…"

"They are making important contributions to science," Evie said, her tone suggesting she'd speak no more on the subject.

Hermione frowned, but didn't say anything else as Evie contacted Harry again. "Alright, Potter, up and down now. Nothing too crazy yet. We'll work up to it."

"Fine, but this is boring, Spengs."

"I'm sure you'll survive," Evie said dryly.

Hermione suddenly gripped Evie's arm. "Evie! The read-out…!"

Evie's eyes flicked from Harry's form back to the computer screen, taking in the rapidly changing numbers around the section monitoring the broom's steering. "Harry, land! Now!"

But the broom was already jerking, shaking out of Harry's control, and a moment later, went plummeting towards the ground.

AN: Oh my God, my first cliffhanger! (I mean, real cliffhanger. Sort of. I probably won't do too many of them. (Probably.))

Also, a bit more insight to Evie's relationship with her parents. She... won't be talking about them much. They don't have a bad relationship, per say, but it's pretty clear it's a pretty hands off one. It's not likely we'll meet them. Uh... and I think that's all I have to say on the subject.

Notes!:

(1) A motorized unicycle with a sidecar. The sidecar seems to be made for Slimer, though I believe others have used it. It collapses to fit in a compartment on one of the wheels of the Ecto-1. An eleven year old Harry could ride in the sidecar with no issues.

(2) Sumerian for "abomination". Clearly, Harry is not in a forgiving mood.

(3) Two words: sweat sandwich. In "The Joke's on Ray", Egon made sandwiches that were really good... only they were apparently made out of "a basic blend of chemical components that precisely duplicates the vitamins and minerals lost through epidermal elimination". Ray has to translate for the others... but yeah, they're made of synthetic sweat. ...There are not words.

(4) It also dances. Yay for energy saving psychomagnetheric slime!

(5) And if you don't know why ACME is funny, you're boring too.

(6) RGB episode "That Old College Spirit" references this. Peter's kind of famous in the fraternity.

(7) To be honest, I didn't know all this until I looked up all the ecto vehicles on Ghostbusters wiki. The Ecto Bomber is used in one episode, and the Ecto Crane is never used... though it is at one point seen parked outside the firehouse (the Ecto Crane isn't even an official name), so we know it exists. The Marine Ecto 8 is from the video game, and it always seemed odd to me that there was an Ecto 8, but no Ecto 5-7. Apparently, though, there is an Ecto 5, seen most notably in the IDW comics, and if you consider that at one point the Bomber and Crane were going to be called Ecto 6 and 7, things make a lot more sense. (The new "Ecto 7" Evie mentions Egon is working on is based off the IDW Mobile Containment Unit, which is basically an RV with a smaller containment unit built in.) Yay for ridiculously overthinking things!

And that's it for the notes this time! (Fewer, but that's not a bad thing. I did get a complaint before, but... I don't go out of my way to give an ungodly number of notes. Really. It just happens.)

Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review!

Next time: A murder plot is discovered and Harry explores a forest.