Well, I seem to have hit a spot of inspiration, which is great because it means you all get a chapter faster. Part of this was because of my family's annual trip out of state to go see other members of the family, and me hiding for long periods of time in other rooms on my computer because I dislike crowds. (Introverts for the win!)
Anyways, this does at least mean you get a chapter, and a lot faster than I was originally worried about. Yay!
This also means my usual rant. I suppose this chapter's will be about Harry's opinion on Magical Britain. Because he insults it a lot. Almost excessively. To the point where one really has to wonder, "Is Harry actively prejudice against people from Magical Britain?"
The answer is yes. Harry is prejudice. The truth is, he's never thought about it before. He's grown up with Peter, who throws around similar insults all the time, and generally being a bit of an ass. The thing is, Peter recognizes that the insults he uses are in a joking manner. He's old enough and logical enough to know that the stereotypes aren't true, but he'll pull them out because he likes to be difficult and he thinks it's funny. He also likes to see other people's reactions. Harry has picked up on the insults, but hasn't yet realized that they aren't necessarily true. At this point in time, Hermione doesn't realize he's usually serious (and not being raised in Magical Britain seriously softens the blow), and Evie hasn't yet realized how prejudiced he actually is. Evie doesn't particularly like Magical Britain in and of itself, but has enough perspective to recognize that she dislikes the society and not the individuals. Harry generally has more difficulty making that distinction, so when someone doesn't know something he thinks is obvious, or acts in a manner showing their upbringing, he's pretty callous about it. Eventually he'll get called on it, but that's not going to be for a bit.
On the upside, his dislike doesn't completely preclude him from making friends. It's just he won't be very close to them, because he generally sees them as stupid. (That's something that will get better with age, but honestly, he's eleven. He's allowed to be a bit stupid.)
That's all I have for this rant, I believe. Just a bit of character study to get off my chest. Enjoy the chapter!
Chapter Eleven: In Which Harry Interacts With Other Houses and Evie Gets Fed Up With Egon's Psychosis
"Death."
Harry didn't move from his position of lying under the tree by the lake, but his eyes still flicked towards the speaker, Tracy Davis. With the weather starting to warm again, he'd thought it would be the perfect time to relax under a tree, and he'd bumped into Tracy, Daphne Greengrass, and Blaise Zabini on his way out. Cue a small group heading out into the sunny day, and the inevitable theological discussion that followed.
"Excuse me?" Harry asked.
"Well, that's what I was thinking about," Tracy said. "Death. What comes after."
"You are incredibly morbid for an eleven year old, you know that, right?" Blaise put in, also not moving.
"Who says that anything comes after?" Daphne put in. "Maybe that's just… it."
"And you're starting now too," Blaise sighed.
"Well, something has to come after, doesn't it?" Tracy pressed. "I mean, there are people who study it. In the Department of Mysteries."
"Laying next to you," Harry added dryly.
"What?" Tracy asked, startled.
"Ghostbuster," Harry reminded.
"I keep forgetting that," Tracy admitted.
"I actively try," Blaise put in.
"What does your vast experience tell us, then, about death?" Daphne asked, voice laced with sarcasm.
"To be honest, we mostly deal with souls that have chosen to linger on," Harry admitted. "So not a lot from that end." He paused. "There's definitely a hell, though."
"Oh, well, that's a relief," Blaise deadpanned. "We can all end up in hell."
"Just because it's an option doesn't mean you're going to," Harry reminded. "And sometimes we help ghosts pass on, who can't do it on their own for whatever reason. They don't end up in hell." He paused again. "...I think."
"So you've been there?" Tracy asked curiously.
"Not personally. I've heard stories." Harry looked thoughtfully up through the tree branches. "Most of my experience with the realms of the dead is with the Netherworld, or the Spirit World. It's more of a limbo place than anything else. Where the restless spirits end up."
"So we get a choice of hell or limbo," Daphne mused. "I think I'd prefer oblivion, actually."
"Well, it would be peaceful," Blaise decided. "And I wouldn't have to listen to your inane discussions."
"Well, there is something else," Harry offered. "No idea what, but we've seen spirits cross over into somewhere that we can't trace… yet."
"So some sort of afterlife?" Tracey confirmed.
"Could still be oblivion," Daphne argued. "If they can't trace it."
"Sure doesn't stop Papa Egon from trying, though," Harry mused, still looking up.
"That's because your family is insane," Blaise told him. There was a brief pause before he spoke again. "You're not going to deny it?"
"No point," Harry admitted. "We all know it's sort of true. I have an insane family. That's what makes them awesome."
"...Fair enough," Blaise agreed.
"Where do you think they'll end up when they die?" Tracey asked.
"Ehn…" Harry thought for a moment. "Who knows? With the amount of PKE they've been exposed to over the years they might end up in the Netherworld as powerful demons. Just hope they'd remain relatively benevolent."
"And we're back to the disturbingly morbid," Blaise said sourly.
"Or they could go to oblivion," Daphne offered.
"No, I'm not sure that could be," Harry said slowly, thoughtfully. "You can't kill a ghost, so the same properties would hold true for anyone's soul. They have to go somewhere…"
"What makes you say that?" Tracey asked, curious.
"Basic science," Harry answered promptly. "Conservation of matter. First law of thermodynamics as applied to the soul." (1)
"And everyone says you're not a Ravenclaw," Daphne snorted
"I dare you to live with Papa Egon for a week and not come out talking like that," Harry responded dryly.
"It's too bad," Tracey sighed. "You would have made a great Slytherin."
"And then we could have these depressing conversations daily, as opposed to the bi-monthly basis we currently have them on," Blaise deadpanned. "That sounds like an absolutely brilliant idea."
HP/RGB
"So, weird question," Harry began, flopping down at the Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall. "Do you guys have secret plans to rule Wizarding Britain? Because if you're ruling it already, something needs to change."
He began helping himself to the food in front of him, ignoring the incredulous stares of his year mates around him.
"I don't think you're supposed to be eating here," Hannah Abbott said weakly.
"I'd like to see them say something against it," Harry retorted. "So, is that a yes?"
"No!" Susan Bones returned. "Of course not! Why would you even-?"
"Well, that just begs the question of 'why not'?" Harry mused. "I mean, you guys could totally take over Wizarding Britain. I hesitate to say the world, but if you give yourselves a few generations-"
"Are you delusional?" Hannah demanded. "I mean… we're Hufflepuffs."
"Exactly!" Harry agreed enthusiastically, clapping his hands together. "That's why you're clearly the best house to take over!"
"That seems a bit Slytherin, actually," Hannah pointed out.
"Well, everyone expects it of them," Harry informed them matter-of-factly. "And no one expects it of Hufflepuff, therefore making them the perfect house to rise and rule from the shadows!"
"What house are we talking about?" Ernie McMillan asked, sitting down across the table from them and pulling a plate towards him. "And what's Potter doing here?"
"He seems to think we're planning a coup to take over Wizarding Britain," Susan told him.
"That sounds like a great idea!" Justin Finch-Fletchley enthused, sliding into a seat next to Ernie. "When do we start?"
"We're not starting!" Hannah snapped. "There's no reason to…"
"Take over the Wizarding World?" Harry offered innocently.
"Yes!"
"But isn't there?" Justin asked. "I mean, I'm a muggleborn. This society hates me on principle. Shouldn't we do something about it?"
"It's not that it's not necessarily a good idea," Susan began. "It's that there's no secret plot currently in place for Hufflepuff to take over Wizarding Britain."
"See, that's where I hit a sticking point," Harry said, rubbing his chin. "I mean, Hufflepuff is full of loyal, hardworking people. That's like, the perfect army right there. And you guys are all friends, more or less, right? With a whole network of Hufflepuffs, that's at least, if not more, a quarter of the populace here. Why couldn't you take over?"
"It takes more than a quarter of the populace to elect anyone," Ernie argued.
"No, wait, he has a point," Susan said with a frown. "Lots of people don't bother to vote, plus if we run on the right platform, we'll gain more support…"
"Be a great way to shove your Hufflepuff-ness in the faces of the people who think you're useless," Harry added cheerfully.
"There's also that," Susan agreed.
"You're joking," Ernie said, shaking his head. "I can't believe you're actually considering this-!"
"Well, it's not something we'd do immediately," Justin pointed out. "It's something for the future. Far future. But it's something to think about, isn't it?"
"Also, I want honorary Hufflepuff status for suggesting it," Harry piped in. "Oh, and status for Evie, too."
There was a pause while the four exchanged a glance.
"Hypothetically," Susan said slowly, "if this ever actually came to fruition, I'd be totally fine with that."
"He doesn't seem very Hufflepuff to me," Ernie argued.
"Hey, I am very loyal!" Harry argued. "Loyal enough I'm wearing a Ghostbusters uniform half the time despite being across the ocean from them."
"Touche," Ernie allowed.
"Plus, he asked for inclusion of his cousin, too," Hannah pointed out.
"I should probably ask for the whole team-my new team, that is," Harry clarified. "Evie is just the only confirmed member. But they'd all totally support your attempts to take over Wizarding Britain."
"Good to know," Susan said cheerfully.
HP/RGB
"So?" Evie asked Harry when he got back from breakfast.
"If such an organization as your theorized Hufflepuff Collective does exist, none of the ones I talked to knew anything about it," Harry told her. "On the upside, I may or may not have started one."
"Hm." Evie didn't look particularly surprised at that.
Harry's eyes narrowed. "You knew the whole time, didn't you? You wanted me to go over there and not confirm its existence, but found it!"
"Well," Evie said slowly, "I think it could be a tremendous force for change, which Wizarding Britain badly needs."
"Why are you not in Slytherin?" Harry demanded.
"Don't be ridiculous, Harry. I'd have burned half the beds in that dorm to ashes with various runic clusters before the month was out." No, Evie had always taken a rather dim view of bullying, and spelling the perpetrators would be something she would take great pleasure in.
"And that would be a bad thing… why?" Harry asked.
"I'm not entirely sure," she admitted with a frown. "But they don't have a private library either."
"You hate this library," Harry argued.
"I respect it in its lacking," Evie corrected.
Harry paused a moment. "You know, I bet we could totally break into the Slytherin dorms."
"That's a given," Evie pointed out. "The real question is, what would we do when we did?" (2)
HP/RGB
It had been frequently mentioned that Harry was very good at only hearing what he wanted to hear. (While this wasn't strictly true, he was very good at acting like it, and enjoyed the benefits of such an act often.) What was less mentioned was how good he was at hearing those things.
To the point where he practically threw himself across the common room to lay over the arm of one of the chairs near where a group of fifth years were discussing magical creatures.
"Did someone say 'banshee'?" Harry asked eagerly, looking up at them.
"Potter?" one asked. "What would you know about banshees?"
"Well, how to get rid of one, for starters," Harry said cheerfully. "Did you need a banshee banished? Because we charge very reasonable rates, with a first time customer discount."
By now, almost everyone in the common room had fallen silent, clearly waiting to see what the absolutely insane Boy-Who-Lived was up to now. (After all, it had become one of the school's favorite pastimes, and Harry pretended to be ignorant of the pool the twins had going on what his next mad idea would be.)
"Uh, no?" another boy said, looking confused. "We're just learning about them. Only the professor asked us to classify the different types…"
"I didn't know there was more than one," a third boy mumbled.
Harry nodded sagely. "Oh, yeah, you've got two basic classifications of banshees. They're all interrelated, but they split off from each other a long time ago, and developed slightly different habits from it."
The three boys stared at him in surprise as Harry shifted to get comfortable in his chair before launching into a lecture.
"The first thing you have to remember is that banshees are sentient creatures, and that can make them dangerous if you piss them off. On the other hand, they're also very capable of being perfectly nice people. Both species of banshee can take a human guise, though their natural form is decidedly less appealing to look at. With the possible exception of necrophiliacs."
That made a few listeners look slightly ill, but Harry just kept his grin in place and continued.
"Now, the first type is also the most common type of banshee. They are also considered the less dangerous of the species, but this isn't strictly true. The natural form has long dark hair, whitish eyes, and drawn, green skin. Their scream is fatal to anyone who hears it, but they can also hold a pleasant conversation without screaming and killing everyone around them. Most are not malevolent, with the very rare exception cropping up, much like dark wizards. Despite their generally genial nature, they are classified as beasts by the British ministry at this time."
Harry leaned back. This was fun! "The second type is rarer, considered more dangerous, and are nearly always malevolent. They do not have a deadly scream, but their singing causes misfortune to those who listen. Often, they latch onto a single individual to cause misfortune to, but that isn't always the case. Their natural form is, like the first type, drawn, but with dark blue skin and red eyes. That's not to say there aren't individuals of that type that aren't great people, but they can be rather dangerous either way."
Harry grinned. "Any questions?"
"Do you know this much about all magical creatures?" one boy asked, looking slightly shell shocked.
"Nah, just ones I've met before," Harry answered, kicking his feet up. "We had a nasty run in with a type two banshee a few years back."
"And how did you defeat her?" another questioned, furiously scribbling notes on a piece of parchment.
Harry grinned again. "Well…"
"Did you blast it with a proton stream?" Hermione deadpanned behind him, though her voice was tinged with humor.
"Actually, no," Harry said, shaking his head, before he hesitated. "Well… yes, but first we reflected her own sound back at her. That made her lose her grip on her human form, and from there it was a simple matter to zap her and trap her." (3)
Hermione rolled her eyes. "I don't know why I bother."
"So, theoretically," one boy began, "we could reflect the sound of the scream of a type 1 banshee as well, correct?"
"Sure, if you don't listen to it yourself," Harry agreed. "Earplugs would help. I…" He trailed off suddenly. "Hey! Evie!"
Evie looked up from where her nose was buried in a daemonology text. "Yes?"
"Two questions," Harry said, holding up two fingers. "First, can you kill someone with a recording of a type 1 banshee scream?"
"No," she answered flatly.
"Second, can you counter a type 1 banshee scream using a recording?" Harry questioned.
"Yes," Evie told him.
"There you go," Harry told the listening crowd. "With a recording of a scream, you're all good. But it doesn't work for assassination."
"Yes, because that's a real concern," Hermione said dryly.
"It should be," Harry said stubbornly, crossing his arms. "You'd be surprised at the number of people who try to use mystical methods of assassination with absolutely no idea what they're doing. We get called in to deal with those all the time."
Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose. "Honestly, I don't even know why I bother asking anymore…"
"Me neither," Harry said cheerfully. "Clearly you should just take everything I say at face value."
"That," Hermione accused, pointing at him. "That is why."
"I have absolutely no idea what you mean and am so insulted I am going to stop talking to you now."
HP/RGB
While Ron had originally really wanted to play chess with Harry (partly because of Dumbledore's request, partly because this was Harry Potter, and partly because he just really wanted to play chess period), he soon discovered that Harry wasn't the one to play chess with. No, the one to play with was definitely his cousin.
Evanna Spengler was a chess genius.
Okay, it wasn't like he had a huge amount of people to compare it to, but he'd grasped the concepts of chess pretty quickly growing up and was actually the best of all his brothers, even at his age (unless the twins had cheated and charmed the pieces to move incorrectly again, but anyone would lose to that). The point was, when it came to chess, Ron was well aware he was a bit of a big fish in a small pond. He'd played against a few other students of varying grades, but most didn't care for the game, or got upset when they lost to a first year.
It had been a while since Ron had come up against a good challenge.
And then, Harry had come to visit the Gryffindor common room, hoping to get the twins' opinions on something, his cousin in tow. Remembering what Dumbledore had suggested, Ron had approached him again.
And seeing the chessboard, Harry had deferred to his cousin.
Ron hadn't been thrilled at first, but he wasn't about to turn down a willing opponent. And Evie had seemed intrigued at the prospect of the game (at least, he thought so. She seemed kind of generally stoic).
Then, then had sat down.
The game had begun.
And Ron had, within twenty minutes, found himself completely demolished.
For a moment, he'd frozen. It had been so long since he'd last lost a game, it took a moment for him to process. He took a moment to stare at the board, mentally going back over the moves, this time catching how she'd skillfully maneuvered him into a trap.
And then he'd grinned.
"Bloody hell! I didn't see that coming at all! That was brilliant!"
"Thank you," Evie said, giving a formal nod. "Another game?"
Even as she spoke, Ron had already started resetting the board. Some people wouldn't understand how the boy who normally did only mediocre in class, and disliked most of the more challenging concepts was so excited by losing.
But to Ron, this was no class, no boring lesson. This was chess.
And this, this?
Was a challenge. (4)
HP/RGB
While Ron had his chess related epiphany, Harry sprawled out on one of the chairs in front of the Gryffindor fireplace, next to several first year boys doing the same. Of course, this meant that conversation inevitably sparked up, on one topic that nearly every boy the world over knew at least something about.
"You're a Finches fan?!" Seamus Finnigan demanded.
"Well, you don't have to sound so morally offended," Harry snarked.
Seamus waved his hands wildly. "Well, yes, but… the Fitchburg Finches?"
"You do realize that Quidditch isn't nearly as popular in the States as it is over here?" Harry asked. "We only have two teams."
"You have to have more than that," Seamus dismissed. "The Hammers, the Stormers, the All-Stars-"
"Okay, first off, the Haileybury Hammers and the Stonewall Stormers are from Canada," Harry began. "Completely different country. Second, the Sweetwater All-Stars are from Texas, which pretty much means Papa Peter hates them on principle."
"The Meteorites?" Seamus suggested.
"Still Canada," Harry said, rolling his eyes.
"...The Tree-Skimmers?" Seamus offered weakly.
"That's Peru," Harry groaned. "Not even the same continent. Anu, you do realize you'd completely fail geography, right?" (5)
Seamus shrugged.
"Besides, it's not like my family's big into quidditch, anyways," Harry continued. "We were always more into nomaj sports."
"Like football?" Dean Thomas asked, perking up.
"American football," Harry agreed. "Not soccer."
Dean pouted slightly, slumping back down.
"But what we're really into, is baseball," Harry continued brightly. "It's great. Like cricket, but less likely to make you want to bash your head into the wall because you can't follow what's going on."
"People do that?" Neville Longbottom piped up, looking surprised.
"No, Harry's just being a jerk because cricket's a sport he doesn't understand," Dean commented dryly.
"Dean, people who are playing cricket don't understand it," Harry claimed immediately.
Dean turned towards where Evie and Ron were engrossed in their chess game. "Oi! Evie! How do you play cricket?"
"Hit a ball and run back and forth," Evie rattled off immediately. "I'm not sure on the specifics."
Dean looked betrayed. "I thought you had this genius cousin, Harry. And she doesn't know cricket."
"First off, that was totally cheating," Harry scolded. "Evie's knowledge base can hardly count for the common folk. Second, she doesn't really follow sports."
"Can we discuss the two footballs thing?" Seamus asked. "I'm a little lost."
"There are two different kinds," Harry said, looking blank. "American and European."
"They're non-migratory!" one Gryffindor (clearly a first gen) shouted from across the common room.
"You just became my new best friend!" Harry shouted back, before turning back to the others with a grin. "Sorry, what was I saying?"
"Coconuts," Dean tried to deadpan, but he couldn't quite keep the grin from his face. Harry gave him a highfive.
"Sorry, football. There's American football, which in America we just call football, and European football, which in America we call soccer. Two different games. Not much alike."
"But how can they be nothing alike if they're both called 'football'?" Seamus questioned, frowning.
Harry shrugged. "Are quidditch and quodpot alike?"
Seamus blinked. "No."
"They're about as alike to each other as the two footballs are," Harry explained.
"That doesn't help me at all," Seamus complained.
Harry ignored him. "It is interesting, though."
"What?" Neville asked.
"Just the comparison," Harry answered. "I mean, Europe doesn't like the sports America does, and vice versa. In Europe you've got cricket, rugby, and soccer-" ("Football," Dean corrected) "-and in America, you've got football, baseball, basketball, and hockey. On the nomaj side, I mean. On the magical side, you've got quidditch versus quodpot."
"Basketball and hockey?" Seamus repeated.
"More nomaj sports," Harry said quickly. "Don't worry about it."
"So, just to clarify, there's European football and American football," Seamus said.
"Technically," Evie called, not looking up from her game, "That would be Gridiron and Association football." (6)
"No one calls it that!" Harry called back. "And you don't like sports! Why do you know that?"
Evie just shrugged. "Why don't you?"
"Because I don't care!"
"So why do you think America picked quodpot over quidditch?" Neville wondered.
Harry took a moment to actually say something semi insightful. "Because it was invented in the eighteenth century and during a time when the Americas (the States, especially) were trying to distinguish themselves from Britain as much as possible?"
There was a long pause while they all considered that.
"Huh," Dean mused. "I always just figured it was because you lot liked explosions."
"Yeah, I could see that too," Harry agreed.
"Mate in six," Evie told Ron, who stared at the board a moment.
"Brilliant! Let's go again!"
HP/RGB
Evie stared at the screen, expressionless. Next to her, Harry cackled wildly.
"This," Evie said at length, "is getting completely ridiculous."
On the other side of the screen, Ray had the grace to look abashed. "Look, Evie, I know your equations are important, but-"
I was hoping to get them done quickly," Evie said. "Uncle Egon should need only a short while to assist me in refining them. You have finally returned his consciousness to at least one belonging to an Egon Spengler, and now…?"
"Well, he believes us now when we tell him we're not a dream," Ray argued. "So he wants to go home and is focusing all of his research on that."
"And he won't even look at my equations?" Evie pressed. "It won't take long-"
"Evie, I don't think magic exists in his world. To be honest, I'm not sure how much help he'd be even if he did look over them."
"It's math," Evie nearly growled, her eyes looking furious, even if there was very little change in the expression on her face. "That's a universal constant. It doesn't matter if it's measuring magic or not."
"We can't be certain that it wouldn't be different in a world without magic," Ray pointed out. "That may have adjusted the universal laws."
"There was no indication of it in the universe you four ended up in when Proteus was chasing you," Evie argued. "There's no reason to believe it would be different this time!"
"There's also no reason to believe it wouldn't," Ray returned. "I'm sorry, Evie, but you can wait a few more days until we finally get this fixed. In the meantime, I know your school finals are coming up. You can focus on those."
Evie looked to shut down completely. "Perhaps."
"I am sorry, Evie," Ray repeated, looking genuinely apologetic. "I have to go, but we'll call you as soon as we figure this all out, okay?"
Evie nodded shortly before ending the call and looking down at the still cackling Harry. "You are a complete bastard."
"Like you didn't see this coming a mile away," Harry snickered. "With our luck, I mean."
"I reserve the right to hate you," Evie declared, standing up and turning away.
"Where are you going?" Harry asked.
"To use my equations to track down a horcrux," Evie said, voice grim. "If Uncle Egon is unavailable to review them, I will test them myself."
Harry jumped up, looking intrigued at the prospect. "Ooh. No finals, then?"
"What finals?" Evie asked. "We go to hardly any of the classes. We'll show up and take the tests if we need. No studying necessary, as it's all stuff we know."
Harry clapped his hands together. "Excellent point!" he cheered. "I'll get Hermione and meet you in your lab?"
"That's acceptable. I'll upload the equations to the meter."
Harry ran off, holding down the urge to cackle again. They were going to bust a ghost!
HP/RGB
"Why are we doing this?" Hermione asked, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Because there was a piece of soul in my scar and we need to find the other pieces," Harry said, as though it were obvious.
"Yes, but why am I here?" Hermione pressed.
"Because you're insatiably curious and you want to know what's going on here?" Harry asked brightly.
"I want to know what's going on with you," Hermione countered, looking over to where Evie was completely absorbed in a computer with one of the PKE meters hooked up to it. "Okay, fine. I'll come with you. You're a terrible influence, you know that?"
"Yes," Harry agreed proudly.
"Got it," Evie said finally, unplugging the meter from the computer. She held it up. "The equations have been uploaded, and we can test them."
"And if it explodes in your hand?" Harry asked.
"That would suggest that they don't work," Evie deadpanned.
"Is that an actual possibility?" Hermione asked, looking only mildly concerned. Clearly she knew them too well.
"A very unlikely one," Evie said, in what may have possibly been an attempt at a reassuring manner and was actually more vaguely disconcerting.
"Joy," Hermione sighed dully as Evie held the meter at arms length and turned it on.
It didn't exploded.
"It appears to be working," Evie reported after a moment, and daring to bring it a bit closer. "Two clear and distinct points, and… hang on."
She frowned as one of the points blurred. "One's moving. I can't get a good lock on it. But I think we're okay with the non moving one."
Harry whooped. "Hunt for a horcrux is on!" He reached in his pouch to pull out his proton pack. "This is going to be awesome…"
"It doesn't actually seem too far," Evie mused, reading the scanner. "We'll have to go up a floor or two-"
She cut off with a curse and froze, where she'd been walking to one of the tables.
Harry instinctively ducked, yanking Hermione down with him.
After a moment of no explosions, Harry cautiously peeked up to where Evie was fiddling with the meter, looking frustrated. "Any sudden exothermic reactions to look out for there, Spengs?"
"The equations aren't right," Evie said sourly, lips pressing together tightly. "They seem to correctly filter out the background radiation and locate the target, but they don't correctly take movement into account… on either end."
Harry pinched the bridge of his nose as he mentally translated that. "So basically, we can see where it is, but only when we're both standing still."
"Precisely," Evie agreed.
"...This is going to take a bit longer than you thought, isn't it?" Hermione realized, looking between the two.
"Most likely," Evie agreed.
"You know what?" Harry asked. "Fuck that. We're going to find this Urbat, and we're going to find it today, and I don't care how many classes Hermione has to skip."
"I care!" Hermione protested. "Exams are coming up and-"
"And we don't really care what you get on your finals, Hermione," Harry assured her, patting her on the back. "You can have a job with us regardless."
Hermione deflated. "I give up."
"That's the spirit!" Harry said cheerfully. "Let's go!"
HP/RGB
"...Evie, you know that I have the utmost faith in you, right?" Harry asked slowly.
"You could stand to mention it more often," Evie said after a moment.
"And that I totally trust you with my life and everything?"
"You've always given that impression," Evie agreed.
"And that I one hundred percent believe you're going to be able to hunt down this horcrux?" Harry asked.
"I would hope so."
"There is a wall in front of us," Harry said. "I know your meter is pointing straight ahead, and you've rebooted it twice, and it still says to go forward, but that doesn't change the little issue of 'There's a wall in front of us'."
"I am aware," Evie said tightly.
They had ended up on the seventh floor, an hour after their hunt had begun, still looking for the horcrux. Unfortunately, they seemed to have hit a slight snag.
"Is that a tapestry of a wizard trying to teach trolls ballet?" Hermione asked incredulously, looking behind them. "Honestly, every time I think I've finally gotten some understanding of wizards-"
"I know, right?" Harry asked. "Everyone knows teaching trolls ballet is a terrible idea."
"Exactly!" Hermione agreed.
"They much prefer hip-hop," Harry continued. "Though they won't say no to some good disco music."
"...I honestly have no response to that," Hermione said slowly.
"More importantly, just what is going on on the other side of this wall?" Evie frowned. She had pulled out her map of the school and was studying it intently. "According to this, there should be a room… only it's not marked here."
"Unplottable?" Harry asked.
Evie considered that. "Perhaps."
"Maybe they bricked it up for one reason or another," Harry mused. "Well, we have someone to test that."
Hermione took half a second to process what he meant. "Oh, please say you don't mean-"
Harry had already raised his hands to his face and shouted, at the top of his lungs, "COOKIES!"
There was a moment of silence.
"Well, maybe he didn't hear?" Hermione offered hopefully.
"Oh, no, he heard," Evie assured her, a hint of amusement in her tone.
A second later, Slimer came whizzing through the wall just down the hall, leaving a large patch of slime behind him. "COOO-KIEEEEES!"
Harry was reaching in his pocket, trying to pull something out (a cookie, most likely), but wasn't quite fast enough, and ended up thoroughly slimed as Slimer smashed into him, sending him flying backwards. "Agh! Evie! Hermione! Help! He slimed me!"
"You brought this on yourself," Hermione reminded him, looking on with what was supposed to be an expression of disapproval, but her face kept twitching as she struggled not to laugh.
"I hate you both," Harry declared, finally pulling a cookie from his pocket and tossing it to Slimer. "Hey, Slimer, can you do us a favor? Try and go through the wall there."
Slimer scarfed the cookie down before rearing back and charging at the wall… where he splatted into it in a gooey mess.
"Another shower," Hermione sighed, lifting a strand of now green covered hair. "Wonderful."
"Sowwy, Hawwy," Slimer said, before babbling for a moment.
Harry nodded sagely. "Must be."
Hermione looked between them. "What?"
"Slimer was just saying that he thinks there's some sort of magic on the room there," Harry explained.
Evie frowned thoughtfully as she stared at the wall. "...I wonder…"
Harry jabbed a finger at the wall. "Nusku Sekkuru Peta."
The outline of a door glowed against the wall as Harry's magic tried to force the door open, but it failed after a few seconds, the glow fading.
"That didn't work," Hermione observed.
"But it almost did," Evie frowned. "Like the door wants to open, but something's preventing it from doing so."
"Idea!" Harry cheered suddenly, digging in his pocket and pulling out a sight runestone. He'd begged Evie to make him one for a week before she'd broken down and showed him how to make one himself. The result was pronounced "barely adequate". Harry couldn't remember the last time he'd been so proud of himself.
(It had been two weeks earlier when he'd assisted the twins in breaking into Snape's office, where they'd covered every surface with an inch and a half of ectoplasm.)
Evie glanced up as he raised the stone. "Harry, wait-!"
"Arghlehagh-!" Harry made a strangled sound as blinding light erupted in his vision, the magic beyond the wall shining much more brightly than he'd thought.
"-The magic in the door will likely blind you," Evie finished unnecessarily as Harry doubled over holding his eyes, the runestone dropping to the ground. "This is why I didn't want to show you how to make one of those."
"Not talking to you, in too much pain," Harry groaned. He straightened, blinking rapidly. "I think I burned my retinas."
"Probably," Evie agreed.
"Slimer, do you know how to get through the door here?" Hermione asked, doing the intelligent thing.
Slimer babbled a moment before flipping in the air excitedly and diving through the floor.
"You do that," Harry agreed, hands back over his eyes. Clearly, he hadn't realized Slimer had already left.
Hermione looked at the patch of slime left behind. "I'm not cleaning that up."
"We'll claim Peeves was playing with ectoplasm again," Harry offered, somehow able to guess exactly what she was talking about (not that it was hard). "That sounds believable, right?"
"Not particularly, but then again, I know you," Hermione admitted with a shrug.
"Hardy har har," Harry commented dryly as he removed his hands from his eyes. "Any idea who Slimer was going to ask?"
"Harry, you remain the only one other than the original Ghostbusters who can understand him when he gets going," Evie pointed out.
"Hey, a language I speak that you don't!" Harry cheered.
"I'm not sure that qualifies."
"That's fair," Harry agreed. "Maybe we should- Agh!"
Slimer burst through the floor, recovering both it and Harry in slime.
"Oh, this is going great," Harry commented, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Best bust I've ever been on. Really."
"Slimer, did you figure out how to get through the wall?" Hermione interrupted.
"Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh!" Slimer said eagerly, nodding and bouncing in place. "Yelves!"
"The house elves, you mean?" Harry clarified, doing his best to scrape some of the ectoplasm off of himself. It wasn't doing much good.
Slimer nodded excitedly again, before babbling wildly, puffing himself up, and deliberately miming walking back and forth.
Harry's mouth fell open. "No way!"
"Curious," Hermione said slowly, "but sort of scared to ask."
Harry rubbed his hands together gleefully, suddenly completely uncaring about the slime. "Let's see if this works, then." He pulled himself up, walked slightly away, and then paced in front of the wall three times.
A door came into being.
Harry clapped his hands excitedly, sending bits of ectoplasm everywhere, and seized the door handle. He yanked it open, revealing…
"...An entire amusement park?" Hermione asked incredulously.
"I love this door!" Harry declared. "Okay, so Slimer says it basically takes whatever form you want it to! And it totally can! This is the best room ever!"
"Fascinating," Evie agreed, eyes fixed on the room. "I'd love to get a look at the magic behind it-"
"But is the horcrux in the amusement park?" Hermione interrupted.
Harry wilted. "Ah… probably not. Give me a second."
He closed the door and watched it disappear before pacing in front of the wall again. Nothing happened.
"Harry?" Hermione asked.
"I just asked for the horcrux, but that's clearly not working," Harry frowned, looking at the door. "I wonder…?" He tried again, pacing three times in front of the wall, and the door reappeared. "Aha!"
"What did you ask for?" Hermione asked as Harry practically dove for the door knob.
"A room to hide things in," Harry said proudly, throwing it open. "It might take a bit to find, but… aw, shit."
They got their first look at the massive piles of stuff stretching out into the distance. There were books, clothing, brooms (Harry would probably be taking one or two with him), trunks, globes, and a wide variety of other things stacked haphazardly at best in what seemed to be a near endless maze.
Harry was the first to find his voice. "...This is going to suck."
There was a long pause.
"Well," Evie finally determined, "let's get going."
AN: And, a good place to leave off, I believe. On to the actual notes:
(1) As stated by Egon in the IDW comics, in the Haunted America story. He makes an excellent point, actually.
(2) Four days later, the Slytherins woke to find themselves unable to find the doorway to leave the dorms. It took the teachers six hours to figure out how to fix the problem. Fred and George were unofficially blamed, but there was never any proof found. The next day, Harry received a small box of Honeydukes chocolate from the twins, politely requesting to know how he did it. He never told them it was Evie who did it.
(3) RGB episode "Banshee Bake a Cherry Pie?"
(4) Like I previously mentioned, Ron is just a kid in this fic. He likes his chess, though, and is eager for the chance to learn more. Evie's just happy to have an opponent.
(5) These are all listed Quidditch teams. I didn't make these up.
(6) This is true. The wonders of the internet.
That's it this time. Please review with any thoughts or opinions!
Next time: There is a horcrux and Harry wrestles a dragon.