My Dearest Lily,

I wonder how long it's been since we've parted. I intended to let you go without saying anything, but in the end, I just couldn't leave things as they were. I left this letter at the bottom of your bag, in the hopes that someday you would find it and choose to read its contents. My goal is not to change your mind or make excuses, and I know that I owe you the deepest apology, but I have written to clear up some misunderstandings, and attempt to explain as best as possible why I acted as I did.

First, I want you to know that I didn't choose you because you were a servant. It did occur to me that your status could be advantageous, but that wasn't the real reason you were selected. It may sound silly, but when you were bold enough to tell me about my crown, I thought that a girl like you could handle just about anything. Also, I never told you this, but you bear a striking resemblance to my mother, and I couldn't help being drawn to you from the start.

My mother was also a servant, and started working at the palace when she was around your age. My father, the late emperor, had already been married for twenty years and had three sons with his wife, the previous queen. However, although they kept up appearances, they were together for political reasons, and there was no real love in their partnership. My mother, with her youth and beauty, quickly caught my father's eye. They began seeing each other in secret, and it wasn't long before she became pregnant with me. Fearing a scandal, he sent her to the countryside to live in seclusion.

I spent the first thirteen years of my life in this way, but I can assure you that it wasn't as awful as it sounds. Our identities were hidden, so I actually had a good deal of freedom. I spent most of my childhood playing in the nearby villages and finding mischief everywhere I went. Looking back, my mother had it much harder. She had truly loved my father, and never completely recovered from the heartbreak of being sent away from him. Her physical health was also poor. Still, whenever I came back home, she was always waiting to greet me with a smile. She was my best friend, and we spent hours sparring in chess and working on the garden she adored.

My head was spinning as I laid down the letter for a moment and tried to process this new information. Soo-Won was not the son of the last queen. Ayura's strange look when I had assumed that the queen's kimono belonged to Soo-Won's mother now made sense. I also remembered her saying that Soo-Won hadn't lived at the palace before he was thirteen, and now I understood why. I felt a bit lightheaded as I continued reading, wondering what other surprises this letter held.

However, just like it did for you, the plague's devastation changed my life forever. My mother, who had never been healthy, became very ill. Just before she passed away, she pulled me close and whispered her dying words in my ear. I've repeated them to myself so many times that they've become engraved in my heart. They are my mission and my reason for living. I will now tell you what she told me, word-for-word:

"My dear boy, I know, I've always known in my heart that someday you will be king. You are like a brilliant light and will make a splendid ruler, but until the time is right you must hide that light, or your life will be in danger. Listen to me, you must not let anyone know of the intelligence that lies behind that brow, or of the people's heart which beats within you. You must hide all of it, do you understand? Then, when the day comes, you must use your talents to lead your country and protect your people. Promise me, my son, that you will do as I say."

I was forced to stop and wipe the tears that were staining the paper. Even though I was supposed to hate him, the thought of Soo-Won losing his only real family at such a tender age made my heart ache. I now knew the reason for the understanding I had seen in his eyes when I had told him about my own parents. He too was familiar with the pain of losing the ones you loved most.

Of course, I gave her my word, but I must admit that I attributed most of what she said to delirium from the fever. Still, I followed her advice, and I truly believe that I wouldn't be alive today if I hadn't. Although my arrival at the palace caused quite a disturbance at first, I played my part perfectly, and my older brothers and the queen soon lost interest, writing me off as a foolish child who posed no threat to them. This was fine with me as well. I was pretty much left alone, and was free to sneak out of the palace and explore the capital as I pleased.

Meanwhile, in the aftermath of the plague, a dangerous terrorist group known as the Red Tiger was gaining considerable influence and power. They started targeting the royal family, and I watched as my father and brothers were killed one by one. My stepmother, the queen, also died of natural causes during this time, leaving me as the sole heir to the throne. I hadn't forgotten my promise to my mother, but as I grew, I had developed personal motivation as well. In my trips to the capital, I had witnessed first hand the dire state of our country. I didn't know whether or not I was truly capable of being a good king, but I was bound and determined to try. Still, it wouldn't be easy. Although I had been overlooked so far, I knew that I wouldn't be able to hide any longer. The Red Tiger would be coming after me next.

I began intensive training to prepare myself. I took martial arts, and learned to wield a sword. I also started drinking small amounts of weak poisons, and gradually built up immunity to them. I hid a dagger under my pillow, and spent many sleepless nights waiting for an attack. Finally, the day came, and I met Hak for the first time. I had been prepared to fight to the death, but as soon as I saw him—a mere shadow of a boy with haunted eyes—I changed my mind. You know how the rest of the story goes. Hak is now my closest friend and ally, and is one of the few people who know my true self. General Joo-Doh, and now you, are the only others.

After that, there were still some assassination attempts, but as my reputation as a good-for-nothing prince spread, they greatly decreased. I bided my time until I turned eighteen, studying politics, economics, and the law in secret. I had many plans on how to help our country, but before I could bring any of them to fruition, I knew that I must first bring an end to the Red Tiger. They had continued to grow in power—monopolizing trade, terrorizing citizens, even infiltrating the highest positions in the government. Fuwasa was just one of their members, but there were many more. Their corruption had to be stopped, but until I found their location and their leader, I had no choice but to play the part of a puppet king in their hands.

In the meantime, I conducted an extensive undercover search for the Red Tiger's headquarters. When Hak came to the palace I thought that I had a lead at last, but by the next morning they had already changed their location, disappearing without a trace. After years of searching, I realized that I would have to try another tactic. Aware that Hiyou was a womanizer, I began thinking about the possibility of choosing a wife to lure and trap him. I wasn't comfortable with the thought of deceiving and using someone, but I couldn't think of any other way, and eventually convinced myself that I had to do it for the good of Kouka.

We moved forward with the plan, and just a month after my coronation, the search for my wife began. I wanted someone who wouldn't be intimidated easily, so I wore my crown upside down in the hopes of finding a girl who was brave enough to tell me about it. Also, if I'm being completely honest, the idea of leaving the selection up to fate eased my guilt a bit. However, after nearly three hours without success, I was beginning to wonder if I'd have to randomly choose someone after all. But suddenly there you were. A small and unassuming servant girl gesturing comically towards your head. I was so surprised that I had to fight laughter at first, but once you came up to the throne, all my mirth disappeared.

Your resemblance to my mother nearly took my breath away, and I had to carefully school my features to keep from betraying my emotions. It wasn't necessarily physical appearance or even the fact that you were both servants, but something intangible. When I brought you up to the throne, it was evident that you were terrified, yet your step was determined, and your carriage was proud. My mother was physically as weak as leaf, yet she was the strongest person I knew. Never giving into fear or despair, and always continuing on despite her pain. It was just a gut feeling, but I felt certain that if it was you, my plan would definitely work.

So, as you know, I chose you, and you definitely did not disappoint me. I was more than happy to agree with your deal, knowing that your stay would be temporary anyways, and by the time we finished talking, I thought you were the most interesting girl I'd ever met. When you protected Tetora during our first dinner together, I was even more certain that I had made the right choice.

I felt the color rise in my cheeks as I read this last line. So he had known about that all along? I shook my head to clear my thoughts before continuing.

I had purposefully made a fuss about selecting a wife to catch Hiyou's attention. Now I just had to wait for them to make their move. Just about the time you were getting nervous and started trying to force me to let you leave, I was also growing impatient. I decided to try and speed things along by bringing you to the meetings with me. At first, I intended only to show you off, but once I learned that you had some interest in politics, it gave me a new idea. I would let you be my advisor, and start initiating changes that I had wanted to make for years. I thought that if Hiyou saw you as a threat to his power, he would be more motivated to take you before that happened. However, I moved too fast and almost ended up getting you killed.

It was at this point that things began to change for me. The thought of you getting hurt or worse terrified me, and I realized that somewhere along the way I had come to care for you deeply. I asked you to stop your involvement in politics, but of course, you refused. I realized that the only way you'd truly be safe was if you left the palace, so I decided to give you your wish. I offered you a present, fully expecting that you'd choose to leave, but you didn't. Seeing your stubbornness, I gave up, but I was determined to protect you until the two months were up. Just in case, I increased security in the castle and told the children to watch out for you.

I don't want you to misunderstand and think that I wanted you to leave, because nothing could be further from the truth. I hated the idea of no longer being able to see you, but to me, your safety was most important. Also, even though I could have forced you to stay, I truly wanted you to be happy. I knew that you desired freedom, and the last thing I wanted was to turn you into a caged bird. So I buried my feelings deep inside, and tried to act as normally as possible when I was around you.

But then when you told me that you loved me, everything changed. I still had some reservations about you remaining in the palace and continuing to advise me, but I thought that as long as you wanted to be here it was alright. Also, I was simply too overjoyed to think of sending you away.

I discarded my former plan once and for all, and was beginning to think of another way to catch Hiyou, when General Joo-Doh came back with alarming news. The members of the Red Tiger were assembling, and they appeared to be making preparations to usurp the throne. I understood the severity of the situation, but I still never planned to use you. Joo-Doh didn't agree with my decision and acted on his own.

I knew nothing of your plan, and my heart nearly stopped when the children came and told me what had happened. I can honestly say that I've never been more panicked in my life. All of my composure and years of acting fell away when I thought that I might lose you forever. Thanks to God, I made it in time, but ironically, I still ended up losing you.

I know that I only have myself to blame. I lied to you, and did intend to use you at the start. I take full responsibility for this, and know that I am well deserving of your condemnation. However, I want you to know, Lily, that although our time together was strewn with deceit and falsehood, my love for you was real. Looking back, I think that my heart was already yours the moment I laid eyes on you. I believe that I said something like "you'll do" at the time, but that was a massive understatement. In truth, I thought that I had never seen a more captivating woman.

With each passing day, I fell a little bit more in love with you. I adored your spunk, your determination, and even the way you blushed when you were nervous. But most of all, I loved how you had a heart for people. However, falling in love hadn't been part of the plan, and I knew that you'd be leaving eventually, so I resolutely ignored my feelings. When you finally told me that you loved me and intended to stay with me, I had never experienced such bliss.

You don't have to believe me, and I don't expect you to forgive me, but I still felt the need to tell you all the things that I never got the chance to. I will remember and treasure the short time we had together for the rest of my life, and I want to thank you for helping me remember why I wanted to become king in the first place. You may have been a bit idealistic at times, but I truly admired your straightforward approach to things and your compassionate heart. I promise that I will strive to become a ruler that you would approve of. I wish you all the best, my love, and no matter how many years pass I will never forget you or stop praying for your happiness.

Yours Always,

Soo-Won