Oh, look, I wrote a chapter! In a relatively reasonable amount of time, too! Go me!
This, of course, also means that I must include an interesting but ultimately pointless rant about something to do with either the Ghostbuster fandom or this story specifically. Today, a bit of character analysis, much like last time.
In the Harry Potter series, we all know Hermione is very fond of authority figures. She'll go to them first for help, because growing up she had few friends and she relied on authority figures to make sure she was treated fairly. However, in coming to Hogwarts, that view is beginning to change. She still wants to look towards the professors as the authority figures she's come to respect, but there are a few reasons why that's not really working out for her. The first is that when the castle's in danger, Harry and Evie are the ones to respond to the threat, and they do so easily and professionally (mostly). (For example, the troll.) This would put them on the level of authority figures, but they're also her friends, which muddles the line. Over time, she's started to seem them more as friends, but recognizing in some part of herself that they're on the same level as the authority figures in the castle therefore lowers her esteem of the other authority figures in the castle.
While she still mostly views authority figures outside of the castle in much the same way she always did, hanging about the Ghostbusters won't let that last long. As I previously mentioned, despite how much they act like it's not true, Peter, Ray, and Egon used to be teachers. And all of them hold multiple degrees. (Even Peter. Peter Venkman holds two doctorates. How on earth did that happen?) And let's face it, Winston's on the same level as them at least. (We all know at this point he could get a doctorate in parapsychology in heart beat if he actually wanted to try.) Yet they are probably the worst examples of authority figures you could ever find. It's going to take some time for it to sink in, and there's definitely a bit of the knee jerk reaction of "authority is right", but Hermione's well on her way to losing that view.
And I think that's it for this chapter's discussion. Enjoy the chapter, and don't forget to review!
Chapter Twelve: In Which There is a Horcrux and Harry Wrestles a Dragon
The first order of business, Hermione insisted, was making sure they had a way back out. Evie and Harry both wanted to immediately dive into the morass, but she was very persuasive. So the two stood impatiently while Hermione did in the first few piles before coming up with a spool of thread. Then it took a few more minutes for everyone to declare the thread curse free.
The second order of business was to get rid of Slimer. Which was actually pretty simple, as Harry informed him that they were going to fight a "very scary ghost" and that the house elves would probably love if he visited.
Finally, they were ready.
Evie ran another scan, so they would have at least a vague idea of where to go. She pointed straight and slightly to the left, so they headed out.
"For the record, this is a lot more boring than I thought horcrux hunting would be," Harry commented.
"Because you're not running for your life?" Hermione asked dryly.
"Pretty much," Harry agreed. "I mean, these are supposed to belong to a dark lord, right? So we should be circumnavigating traps, fighting monstrous guardians, and generally trying not to die. Not searching through piles of junk."
They paused to let Evie run another scan.
"Honestly, hiding it with a bunch of junk seems a great place to hide it," Hermione argued. "Just think about it. It's rather troublesome to find, isn't it?"
"Yeah," Harry agreed slowly. "But it doesn't really seem like Voldemort's style, does it? He seems more… Um… Evie?"
"Megalomaniacal?" Evie offered.
"That," Harry agreed.
"Well, if I were a dark lord, this is the sort of place I'd hide a horcrux," Hermione declared.
"Yes, but you're smart," Harry argued.
"Voldemort wasn't unintelligent," Evie pointed out.
Harry considered that. Maybe she was right. From what he'd heard, Voldemort wasn't originally raised in the wizarding community. "Maybe, but the egomaniacal tenancies stemming from him being a straight up psychopath suggest he'd want something a little more grand, don't they?"
Hermione stared at him.
Evie nodded. "I knew you picked up something from Uncle Peter's occasional forays into psychology."
"I seriously keep forgetting he's got a doctorate in that," Hermione muttered.
"Can you answer the question?" Harry demanded.
"No," Evie said. "I know little to nothing about abnormal psychology."
"Maybe his ego's appeased by the fact that it's at Hogwarts?" Hermione suggested. "It is supposed to be well guarded, and it's a prestigious location."
"You know psychology?" Harry asked, surprised.
"I've read a few books," Hermione agreed. "Answer the question."
"That could be it," Harry allowed. "He'd probably also like the fact that it was hidden under Dumbledore's nose."
"That sounds logical," Evie agreed, before pausing. "...I think."
"I thought you didn't know anything about psychology," Harry said, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't," Evie answered. "I studied sociology instead. But I can use logic."
"That's logical," Hermione said, hiding a grin. "I think."
Evie shot her a deadpan look.
"How much further?" Harry asked, reaching out and picking up a sword, which he shoved in his pouch. He'd been picking up souvenirs the whole time.
"I'm not sure," Evie admitted, pausing to run another search. "... Apparently not far at all."
"Are you getting a signal?" Harry asked eagerly as she fiddled with the meter.
"No. We've passed it since the last scan. We should be close enough to pick it up on the meter's normal settings now." Finishing her adjustments, she swept the meter in an arc from the direction they'd just come. "Bingo."
"Finally!" Harry cheered.
They moved back down the path they'd followed, where Evie stopped in front of a bust of an old warlock, chipped and discolored. A white wig sat on its head, and on top of that, what looked to be a battered tiara.
"This is it," Evie informed them.
"He put a piece of his soul into a tiara?" Harry asked disgustedly.
"He put one in you. Clearly his standards leave much to be desired."
"Holy shit," Hermione realized.
"All I'm saying is that it's hard to take a guy seriously as a dark lord when he uses something like a tiara to put his soul in," Harry said firmly. "What's next, a diary?"
"Please be at least somewhat realistic," Evie sighed.
"I would have been, if he hadn't have picked a tiara to shove his soul into," Harry complained. "Seriously, I want to tell people this story someday. I can't sound badass when I say, 'Oh, yeah, I destroyed the Dark Lord's tiara. Devilishly tricky to find, but no big.' That just sounds pathetic."
"Most likely because it is," Evie reminded. (1)
"That's my point," Harry began, but Hermione interrupted them both.
"Guys, do you realize what this is?"
"...A tiara?" Harry offered slowly.
"It's Ravenclaw's Diadem!" Hermione told them, eyes wide. "It's a famous artifact created by Rowena Ravenclaw, meant to expand the mind! It's been lost for centuries!"
"Really?" Harry asked curiously. "It doesn't look lost."
Hermione made a strangled sound. "You are impossible!"
"All I'm saying is that if he wanted to pervert an ancient and powerful artifact, he could have picked a much cooler one," Harry declared. "I wonder if we can get the soul piece out without destroying it."
Evie looked thoughtful.
"You can't destroy it!" Hermione protested. "It's a priceless piece of history!"
"Clearly, you never saw what happened at the Guggenheim," Harry muttered.
"It's not something we have a choice regarding," Evie informed her flatly, detaching a trap from her pack. She strapped the PKE meter to her belt and held tightly to the trap's handle while she activated it. There was the obvious evidence that the tap was exerting some sort of force on both the bust and wig, with them both shuddering slightly, but the diadem actually was pulled right in.
"The diadem was saturated with enough spectral energy for the trap to affect it," Evie observed. "Fascinating."
"Boring," Harry complained. "Completely boring."
"You found a magic room," Hermione reminded.
Harry couldn't keep a grin from his face. "Yeah."
"And we did, anticlimactic as it was, find a horcrux," Evie reminded.
"Okay, so it wasn't completely boring," Harry allowed. "Just mostly boring."
"No bust where you get slimed can be completely boring," Evie said sagely.
"Ugh, thanks for reminding me!" Harry moaned. "I've got to take another shower, and…" He suddenly trailed off, an excited look in his eye.
Hermione caught on first. "No, Harry, you can't use this room to call up a spectacular shower."
"Spoilsport," Harry complained. "First the horcrux is a stupid tiara, and then I can't shower in the magic room. This is the worst bust ever!"
"... Everglades," Evie reminded.
"This is the second worst bust ever!" (2)
HP/RGB
Slimer got the honor of caring the slightly smoking trap all the way back to New York. Evie had not informed the Ghostbusters of her testing of the equations, but they were all pretty sure the guys would figure it out upon finding a horcrux in a ghost trap.
Harry wasn't exactly excited for the lecture that would probably follow. Of course, it depended on who actually did the calling. Winston and Janine would definitely lecture them about proper safety procedures, Egon would be more impressed they pulled it off, Peter just wouldn't care, and Ray was about fifty-fifty on the impressed/worry scale.
Upset at the lack of actual busting, Harry dumped his few finds in Evie's lab for her to check for curses. Evie had called him a hoarder, but frankly any opportunity to get a really awesome sword (which had apparently only had a few strengthening and protective charms on it) was good with him.
(Also, he'd seen Evie stealing one of the more elegant daggers he'd found, so she had no room to talk.)
A few pieces had ended up confiscated by Evie, including one other item with enough of a spectral trace for her to trap it and send it off with Slimer and instructions that the contents should be completely obliterated. Harry didn't ask.
Knowing how disappointed Harry was, Evie came up with a solution. (Plus, they may as well take advantage of the great weather of Scotland in the spring.) She found him while he was laying backwards in one of the chairs in the common room, his feet over the head of the chair and his head hanging off of the seat.
"Hermione's finishing setting up the testing equipment on the Quidditch field."
Harry pushed off his seat so fast, he fell off, knocking his head on the floor. "Ow!"
"Be careful," Evie said belatedly.
"Oh, thanks," Harry snarked back before realizing what she'd just said. "Wait, we're finally going to finish testing the Ecto-6?"
"That was the hope," Evie agreed. "We can pick it up from the lab on our way outside."
Harry practically sprinted from the room. "Whatareyouwaitingforcomeonlet'sgo!"
Evie let the corner of her lip twitch upwards. "If we run, she won't be done setting up by the time we get there…"
Harry had already left the common room.
...Of course he had.
HP/RGB
"This test will proceed precisely like the first, though, obviously, hopefully without the murder attempt. You will first rise to a hover, then on my signal, proceed to circle the pitch at a reasonable speed. As needed, we will up the speed and the needed performance from the broom, until satisfied with it. Any questions?"
"Anshargal, Spengs, give me the damned broom," Harry snapped, strapping on his helmet. "We've been through this once already."
"I need verbal confirmation before I can hand over a prototype like this," Evie insisted.
"Yes, roger, I hear you, whatever." Harry snatched the Ecto-6 from her hand and mounted it with a practiced ease. "Can I fly now?"
"No." She raised a hand to her headset. "Testing, one, two."
"Three, four," Harry deadpanned. "Loud and clear. Now get me off the ground!"
Evie returned, finally, to her spot at the equipment, next to Hermione. The brunette had become much better at operating the scanners, and so was taking the majority of the readings, leaving Evie to focus on mostly the trickier parts. As soon as she was sitting, Evie activated the headset, and instructed, "Rise to a hover."
Hermione flipped several switches as Harry did so. "Holding steady. We are go for phase two."
"Potter, begin to circle. Three times. Reasonable speed."
The sound of a raspberry came over the headset as Harry began to slowly circle.
"How do we look?" Evie asked Hermione.
"Looks good so far," Hermione said, frowning in concentration. "No noticeable variations in performance at this speed."
"Good. We'll let him complete the three laps, then pick it up a bit."
"No worries about a sudden drop?" Hermione asked.
"Not really. I've added a series of runic clusters against ill-intentioned magic, and we're missing both of our prime suspects from the crowd," Evie said, nodding at the scattered watchers in the stands.
"Didn't we agree that it was definitely Quirrell?" Hermione questioned.
"Yes, but Harry's still not one hundred percent convinced, and it's always better to be safe than sorry."
Hermione thought of the number of explosions Evie had set off that year (and those had only been the ones she'd been present for!) that had ignored most safety measures. "Uh-huh."
"Speaking of Harry…" Evie trailed off, reaching for the button on her headset. "Move on to the dips." There was a pause, as Harry did as ordered, then a quick "Reasonable speed!"
The figure on the broom gave an exaggerated finger snap, but slowed down.
"Harry can be very difficult to work with," Evie commented.
"I've noticed," Hermione returned dryly.
"Still, he's a good friend," Evie continued. "I don't have many of those."
"None of us do," Hermione pointed out. "Not really. I mean, I'll talk to other students in classes, and Harry's pretty social outside the three of us, but he's always putting up an act, isn't he?"
"I'm surprised you picked up on that, to be honest," Evie said. "He's an excellent actor, if you don't know his tells."
"I may not have many friends, but I pay attention to the ones I do have," Hermione informed her seriously. "I don't want to lose any of them."
"A very good attitude to take, so I'm told," Evie told her.
"Speaking of not losing friends, are we positive that Quirrell's working alone?" Hermione asked. "I'd really rather not watch another attempt on Harry's life."
"Even if he- one second." Evie reached for her headset again. "Okay, circles again, Potter, and this time you can kick the speed up."
Harry punched triumphantly into the air and immediately fell into a steady circle, and began to pick up speed.
"As I was saying, even if Quirrell wasn't working alone, I took precautions," Evie continued, eyes flicking between Harry and the screens. "Top row, just to the left of center, dead ahead."
Hermione glanced up and raised an eyebrow to see Dumbledore sitting above the students. "I thought you didn't get along."
"We don't. He agrees with the British Ministry's view that many of the magics I'm best at are evil. However, he won't kick me out because he needs Harry because of that prophecy Voldemort believes in. And because he needs Harry, I can trust him to sit in the top row and not try anything (because doing so when Harry's on a broom is just stupid, and Dumbledore's ignorant, not stupid) and keep an eye out for anything untoward going on."
"So you're using him?" Hermione clarified. "As some sort of bodyguard?"
"If the shoe fits," Evie agreed.
Hermione shook her head. "You really should have been in Slytherin."
"Funny, Harry tells me that on occasion. But I'll have to disagree." She pressed the side of her headset. "Up and down again, this time at faster speeds." (3)
Harry whooped through the headset, and immediately flipped in the air to go diving at the ground, before pulling up at the last moment to spiral into the air… only to dive back to the ground again.
"Try not to cut it that close, Potter, we still don't have a complete grasp of the maneuverability," Evie rebuked.
"Speak for yourself," Harry shot back, before spinning into another sharp dive.
"Everything seems to be holding up," Hermione reported, eyes scanning over the computer readouts. "Can we call this successful?"
"Not in the least," Evie said immediately. "We're not going to send anything out into the field that we haven't extensively tested first."
Hermione gave her a long sidelong glance.
"...When we actually have the opportunity to do the testing," Evie amended.
"Mm hm," Hermione agreed wryly.
Evie sighed as she activated the headset again. "Alright, Potter, this is your opportunity to go wild. Get a feel for the broom, we're going to ramp things up next."
Harry cheered and went wild, zigzagging crazily, dropping and rising and circling back around as he finished familiarizing himself with the broom's abilities.
"Harry will put it through a much more thorough test just by enjoying himself than with anything I could come up with," Evie explained to Hermione.
"Everything looks clear," Hermione informed her. "Though I'm curious to see what's next."
"We start getting to the fun stuff," Evie answered, as she flipped a switch next to her. In the center of the field, a large target materialized.
Up on the broom, Harry pulled to a stop. "Spengs, please tell me that's what I think it is."
"Testing proton thrower, phase one," Evie reported both to him and Hermione. "Fire at will, Potter."
Harry shot to a position not far off center and twisted the top of the shaft of the broom. It froze in the air, becoming sturdy, and the shaft morphed into a familiar barrel shape. He fired, but the beam hit to the side of the target, scorching the grass.
The watching crowd gasped at the sight of the destructive beam.
"Shit," Harry cursed, as he tried to realign, but failed, as the broom was frozen in place. "Hang on, I've totally got this."
"I think I'll need to improve that," Evie mused, as Harry twisted the shaft again, returning it to the form of a normal broom. He realigned, retwisted the shaft, and fired again, this time striking just off center of the target.
"I thought I commented on that problem before," Hermione frowned. "Didn't you fix it?"
"...Actually, now that you say that, I think I did," Evie recalled, reaching for the headset. "Potter, try the red button next to the firing mechanism in firing mode. That should return a limited mobility to allow for aiming and slight dodging, though, obviously, nothing like you normally can in flight mode."
Harry took her advice, this time hitting the target dead center. "Ha ha! Got it!"
"Excellent. Try a few more times, then we'll up the difficulty again."
"On it!" Harry switched back to flight mode and circled a few more times, before attempting to stop suddenly and quickly aim and fire again. He hit just off center a second time, cursed, and tried again.
It only took a few minutes, however, before he was hitting the target dead center nearly every time.
"Ready to ramp it up?" Evie asked Harry. "Or are you nervous with this still?"
"I'm nervous," Hermione whispered, still checking over the read outs.
Evie hurriedly shushed her.
"Bring it on," Harry challenged.
"I'm starting the dodging drills now. Get ready. Once you're comfortable, try firing at the target again."
Harry grinned as several boxes previously scattered over the field slid open at the flip of a switch and small silver guns rose from within. They locked on or near Harry, and began to fire.
The guns were Mage-Tech, made for the magical and less messy equivalent of paintball. They could fire any number of programed spells, but these specifically fired bright pink colored stinging hexes. They were slow moving enough to give Harry a chance to dodge, but quick moving enough to make it challenging, with minimal consequences of getting hit.
In short, they were perfect to shoot at Harry.
Above them, Harry let out a whoop again as he spun under the first wave of curses, clearly having the time of his life as he circled one gun's beams, leading them on a goose chase across the pitch. The range on the guns had been programed to be short, so even as Harry looped around the spells, they all fizzled out before reaching the stands, much to the enjoyment of the cheering crowd that was observing.
Finally, as he reached what he deemed a safe point, Harry flipped the broom to face the target, twisted the handle, and….
...got hit by a spell.
Immediately the guns powered down for several seconds as Harry cursed, and reset to flight mode.
"Again," Evie instructed, checking her instruments. "I need to know if we need to adjust it more."
"On it," Harry agreed. "I'm going to hit this thing if it's the last thing I do."
"Let's hope it's not," Evie commented, garnering an odd look from Hermione.
The guns started up again, and Harry zipped nimbly between them. After another minute of dodging, he got to a safe position, locked the handle, and fired. He missed the target slightly, but was able to release the handle and resume dodging without getting hit.
"It looks like it works, he just needs practice," Hermione mused.
"Maybe, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop improving it," Evie responded.
Hermione nodded in understanding.
Above them, Harry tried again, this time hitting the target, but getting struck by the guns before he could escape. He yelped before moving again to a safer spot before the guns began again.
"Still no change in the readings," Hermione commented, glancing towards Evie, who was sitting, leaning slightly forward, her eyes fixed on the broom over head, with a contemplative frown on her face. "...Evie?"
"Just thinking," Evie said after a moment. "Would it be easier to not mount the proton stream and have him only use his pack? It might decrease the time it takes him to aim. On the other hand, he'd still have to stabilize the broom, and it's difficult to use a thrower one handed. Perhaps it would be better to have him wear his pack, and only use the broom's proton stream in dire situations. Of course, that leads to the question of whether trying to fly with a proton pack would compromise the maneuverability… and it all comes back to that, doesn't it?"
Hermione blinked at her, before glancing back up to Harry, who was snapping himself into position. "Uh…"
A proton stream blasted the target on the field before Harry twisted away again from the firing spells, cheering as they missed.
"Or maybe Harry just needs a little more practice," Hermione finished.
"Or maybe he just needs a little more practice," Evie echoed.
The two watched as Harry successfully hit the target a second time, whooping as he did so. The third time, he struck the target, but was hit before he could move away, with a yelp.
"This may be one of those stupid questions," Hermione said after a moment, "but have you considered adding some sort of shield to the broom to deflect attacks like that? Even if it just takes the edge off, or only shields for a few seconds as Harry's swapping between modes, it seems like something that would be very useful."
Evie stared straight ahead for a moment. "Of course. A shield. It's obvious."
Hermione couldn't keep the small, smug grin from gracing her features, nor could she prevent the sardonic words that dripped out. "Missing the forest for the trees there?"
"I've decided I don't want to talk to you," Evie said sourly.
"Doesn't matter," Hermione reminded. "We're recording this for future analysis anyways."
Evie ignored her and contacted Harry again. "Potter, get down here. There's something else I want to try."
HP/RGB
Harry, Evie, and Hermione,
We're very disappointed in you for going out hunting a horcrux without taking the proper safety precautions. We will be having a very serious discussion about what you should do next time something like this comes up just as soon as we finish stopping what appears to be a giant sumo wrestler from eating Queens.
We all love you,
Janine, Peter, Ray, Winston, and Egon
PS: Evie, Egon is back and wants to see your equations at the earliest opportunity. Try not to give them to him before the sumo wrestler is taken care of: he doesn't need the distraction.
Harry lowered the letter, a grin on his face. "Well, that's good! They're mad, but they'll have time to cool off before they start lecturing us!"
"A giant sumo wrestler?" Hermione asked Evie.
"Still not the weirdest thing they've seen," Evie responded, pouring over a notebook with most of her equations scribbled in it. She was trying to figure out what had gone wrong with the tracking before they headed out on their next hunt.
Hermione decided not to ask. "You aren't worried about getting in trouble?" she pressed Harry.
"Not too much," Harry answered with a shrug as he tossed Slimer, who had delivered the letter, another piece of bacon. "We should be fine, as long as we don't get into even more trouble before they call us again."
Hermione frowned. "...And what, exactly, are the chances of that occurring?"
"Practically non-existent," Evie piped up.
"Great," Hermione sighed, head drooping. "My parents are going to kill me."
HP/RGB
Harry had always claimed Evie was too smart for her own good. Clearly, her calculations were just as on the nose.
As proven two days later when Hermione came rushing into the lab.
At the time, Evie was absorbed with some machine Hermione didn't recognize and Harry was amusing himself with an admittedly impressive card castle that already used most of a deck. What made it doubly impressive was the fact that it had been built with a deck of cards meant for the game Exploding Snap.
Any other day, Hermione would have questioned the feat, but she was a little distracted at the time.
"Hagrid has a dragon!"
Harry yelped in surprise as he accidently set the cards off in a good sized explosion, sending the castle tumbling to the ground.
Evie glared at the sooty remains and Harry's blackened face. "How many times have I told you not to bring those things into the lab?"
"Come on, Spengs, you blow things up all the time!" Harry argued.
"In the pursuit of science." (4)
"Are you not hearing what I'm saying?" Hermione interrupted, still out of breath. "Hagrid has a DRAGON!"
"What sort of dragon?" Harry asked eagerly. "I've only ever met Papa Egon's, and that was more a protective spirit taking on the form of a dragon, and they had to put it back into hibernation when it kept stealing cars."
Hermione looked to Evie to check the accuracy of that statement.
"It didn't belong to Papa Egon, it belonged to our ancestor, Zedekiah."
"I seriously can't tell when you guys are telling the truth anymore," Hermione complained, looking between the two. "And I don't know what kind of dragon, but I would assume it's a real one."
Harry tilted his head. "When you say real-"
"I mean not a ghost, spirit, or shape shifting entity," Hermione said dryly.
"What about other dimensional beings?" Harry said after a moment.
"What?" Hermione asked, not entirely sure of what he was asking.
"Well, did it talk?" Harry clarified. "Because there was this thing once with a dragon and knights and an evil wizard… and an extra dimensional portal on the subway." (5)
Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose. "It is just a normal dragon." And wasn't that up there on the weirdest things she'd ever said.
"Well, that's disappointing," Harry said, slumping slightly. "That means that we can't bust it or any-Evie? What are you doing?"
Evie was currently pulling her uniform on over her clothes, the lab coat she had been wearing discarded on one of the chairs nearby. "I'm going to see a dragon."
"But we can't bust it!" Harry protested.
Evie shot him a look. "Harry. It's a dragon."
Harry processed that for a moment before he jumped to his feet and copied her. "That's right! Dragon! What are we waiting for?"
"You to stop being obstinate," Hermione deadpanned.
"Obstinate? Who's being obstinate? There's a dragon, guys, hurry up!"
HP/RGB
"...So, which one is Hagrid?"
"Oh for God's sake. Harry!"
HP/RGB
Hagrid was skittish when Hermione returned with them in tow, but she got him to let them in anyways. It didn't take long to see why, either: there was a dragon the size of a large dog curled in front of the fire place, and it was rather… territorial.
Hagrid's worries evaporated, however, when the dragon lunged at them and Harry actually caught its neck and wrestled it to the ground.
Hagrid shot a glance at Evie and Hermione, the latter who was staring at the spectacle with wide eyes. "How exactly is he-"
"Kinetic casting," Evie answered absently, her PKE meter already out and scanning. "He's using it to strengthen his body. He probably can't keep it up for long, though."
"Long enough," Harry grunted, twisting his body so the dragon's burst of fire struck the fireplace. A few seconds later and he'd pinned it.
The dragon struggled futilely for a few seconds longer before relaxing limply.
Hermione stared, open mouthed.
"This is so cool!" Harry grinned, pushing himself up as the dragon did the same, though acting noticeably subdued. "I've always wanted to meet a dragon. It's illegal to own one in the States, though."
Evie cleared her throat. "Harry. It's also illegal here."
"Well, that sucks," Harry decided. The dragon made an attempted snap towards Hermione, but Harry smacked its head, and it pulled back with an almost sheepish air. "What's its name, Hagrin?"
"Hagrid," Hermione hissed.
"That's what I said," Harry claimed immediately.
"This here's Norbert," Hagrid said, getting back on balance at the opportunity to talk about his favorite subject. "He's a Norwegian Ridgeback. I hatched 'im meself."
"You are aware Norbert's a she, aren't you?" Evie asked.
There was a long pause.
"That would explain the viciousness," Harry said after a moment, before smacking the young dragon's head again as it snaked out, this time towards Evie.
"How kin you tell?" Hagrid questioned.
"The scans I'm taking," Evie explained, holding up her ever present meter. "They're consistent with a healthy young female dragon. But the hormone levels are wrong for a male."
Harry peered at Norbert again. "That would also explain the lack of equipment. I was going to ask…"
"Please give me a moment," Hermione said weakly, still staring at Harry the apparent dragon tamer. "I need to process this."
"Since when have we ever given you time?" Harry asked. "Besides, little Norberta isn't so bad. She's too small to carry Rolls Royces, for one."
"Why would that even be a facto- Norberta?" Hermione demanded.
"Yes, and she clearly likes me better than you, so ha!" Harry cheered, scratching her under her chin. (Norberta, not Hermione.) (6)
"How did you manage to get a dragon, Hagrid?" Evie asked curiously.
"Didn't, rightly," Hagrid admitted. "Won her egg off a chappie at the pub. Bit o' a strange bloke, truth be told. Never saw his face."
"Hm…" Evie mused with a frown. "You won it?"
"In a game of cards," Hagrid explained. "Man seemed happy to get rid of it. Bit reluctant to give it to someone, but I told 'im after raising a cerberus, a dragon weren't too bad."
"Excellent point," Harry agreed.
"But Hagrid, you live in a wooden house," Hermione reminded. "Not to mention the fact that owning a dragon is beyond illegal. Someone is going to find out, and you're going to get into a lot of trouble!"
"Hermione is correct," Evie told Hagrid. "However, Norberta is a rare dragon, and a healthy female, meaning she'll be able to have children of her own, making her a prize for any dragon sanctuary you'd choose to send her to."
"Didn't Don say that one of his brothers works at a dragon sanctuary?" Harry asked suddenly, snapping his fingers. "I mean, he has so many it's not really surprising that they collectively do everything, but-"
"His name is Ron," Hermione sighed. "Really, I don't know why you seem to be allergic to his name, but-"
"I'm not allergic to his name, I'm allergic to everyone's name," Harry pointed out as he smacked the back of Norberta's head again as she nipped towards Hermione. "You don't think my dads would let me keep her, would you? They have special dispensation when it comes to dealing with magical creatures."
"No," Evie said flatly.
"I'd be curious as to how you managed a dragon in New York," Hermione pointed out.
"Well, we mostly just ignored Papa Egon's dragon while he searched for a way to put it back into hibernation, which I think is actually part of the reason it kept stealing cars, now that I think about it, and it wasn't a real dragon anyways, but we still got plenty of complaints," Harry said thoughtfully. "And then the other dimensional one could talk and was actually quite nice apart from inadvertently getting Mum kidnapped by an evil other dimensional wizard, so I'm not sure she counts either-"
"Harry, stop talking," Hermione ordered, holding a hand to her head. Honestly, she was too young to be getting these chronic migraines.
"Harry, you can not keep a dragon," Evie told him firmly.
"Even if we pass it off as a ghost?" Harry asked, giving her puppy dog eyes. He should have known better-those never worked on Evie.
"No."
"What if we-"
"NO."
Harry drooped slightly before reaching out to smack Norberta's head again as she tried to light the table on fire.
"I think it's safe to say that no one should keep the dra- ...Norberta," Hermione said, correcting herself on the name.
" 'Ang on, I never agreed to this!" Hagrid protested.
All three of the first years turned to stare at him.
Hagrid met their eyes for a moment before drooping like Harry had only a moment before. "Okay."
"We do have to figure out where we're going to send her," Hermione continued. "And no, Harry, New York is not a proper answer."
"Fair enough," Harry agreed.
"I don't believe there are any dragon sanctuaries in Britain," Evie mused. "The largest one is in Romania…" (7)
"There's one in Sweden, too," Harry offered. "And a few other places in Europe, but I think the best bet is probably Romania."
"It'd be the best place to house a dragon on short notice," Evie agreed. "They'd also have the ability to handle any rarer requirements of Norberta because of her species."
"That's great, but we still haven't figured out how we're going to transport a dragon to Romania," Hermione pointed out. "She's not exactly small. She's got to be several months old at least…"
"Three an' a half," Hagrid told her.
"I'm honestly impressed you hid her that long," Hermione admitted.
"I'm honestly impressed you went that long thinking she was a he," Harry added.
"So, how do we transport her to Romania?" Hermione repeated, ignoring Harry.
There was a long pause while everyone considered that.
"What if… what if we didn't have to?" Harry asked after a moment.
Hermione and Hagrid looked at him like he was crazy. Evie looked thoughtful.
"I'm just saying," Harry said. "Who has to know that you hatched the dragon, Hagrid? You've been hiding her well. All we need to say is that you found her abandoned in the forest, and that you took her in. Then the authorities help you transport her to somewhere she can be with her own kind, and you don't get in trouble because they aren't going to look too hard into it because they're getting a free, rare dragon."
There was another pause while that sunk in.
"Would that actually work?" Hermione asked.
"It… probably would, actually," Evie frowned. "I don't think it would work in America because they would be doing extensive research into where the egg came from, but I'm not entirely sure of the procedures here and if they match up to how the rest of the ministry is run…"
"Yay for hopeless incompetents?" Harry offered.
Evie's lip twitched. "Either way, if they do call you on your lie, the fact that you turned the dragon into the proper authorities will go a long way, and will probably see you acquitted of any potential charges. Especially as you didn't actually buy the egg, and can claim that you didn't know what the egg was when you were gambling."
"I'm a genius, clearly," Harry summed up.
"Hagrid, if you're uncomfortable, we can write a letter to the authorities on your behalf," Hermione offered.
"That'd be nice," Hagrid agreed. "Thanks, all of you."
"Always happy to help," Harry informed him, though he was focused on Norberta, who seemed to be getting antsy again. "Now, more importantly, Evie, Hermione, do you think you'd be able to carry me up to the castle between the two of you?"
Hermione thought of the levitation charm and answered, "Probably. Why?" at the same time Evie answered, "No."
"Because I'm about to magically exhaust myself wrestling with a dragon," Harry answered, before tackling Norberta again, sending the two of them rolling across the floor.
Evie shot Hermione a look that clearly said, this is all your fault.
"Uh… Oops?" Hermione offered sheepishly. She really should have known better.
HP/RGB
"...And so your timely intervention would be most appreciated," Hermione finished, speaking aloud as she wrote. "Sincerely, Hermione Granger, Evie-"
"Evanna," Evie corrected.
"-Evanna Spengler," Hermione repeated, "and Harry Potter on the behalf of Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of the Keys and Grounds, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. What do you think?"
"Acceptable," Evie decided. She glanced over towards the fireplace, where Harry was sprawled in a chair. "What do you think, Harry?"
"Huh?" Harry asked blearily. "What was the question?"
"The letter we just wrote, Harry," Hermione sighed. "What do you think?"
"I wasn't listening," Harry admitted. "It's probably fine. Let's face it, I'd probably just add curses, anyway."
"I know for a fact you can be very silver tongued," Evie reminded, raising an eyebrow. "Whether you choose to employ it or not."
"I'm going to pretend that I actually got what you just said and assume it was an insult," Harry said tiredly. "And register that I'm too tired to think of a response at the moment."
"Actually, I think it was a compliment," Hermione told him. "...I think."
"In that case, thanks," Harry decided.
"What on earth possessed you to wrestle a dragon, anyways?" Hermione asked. "It seems like a rather stupid thing to do."
"Maybe," Harry agreed. "But on the other hand, I got to wrestle a dragon. Enough said."
"Oh my God," Hermione groaned. "You are such a boy."
"And proud," Harry added with a silly grin. "Papa Peter's gonna be so jealous."
"And Aunt Janine is going to yell at you for your stupidity," Evie pointed out.
Harry considered that. "Worth it."
Evie looked skyward.
"Harry's mule headedness aside," Hermione broke in, "we still have a letter to send to the ministry. Do either of you have an owl?"
"Don't need one," Harry informed her. "Slimer's faster, more reliable, and generally more awesome than any normal, boring post owl."
"Be that as it may, do you really think it's a good idea to send Slimer into a center of government?" Hermione rationalized.
"Well…" Harry said slowly. "With all the slimeballs there, he should fit right in, shouldn't he?"
"...I don't even know how to respond to that," Hermione admitted.
"Try this," Evie suggested. "Harry, we don't want to send Slimer into the ministry because they're likely to try and curse him as a first reaction."
"Point," Harry admitted. "Fine. We can use a normal, boring post owl. But I still think Slimer would be a much better courier."
"Noted," Evie said dryly.
"Also, I think I'm going to pass out now," Harry added cheerfully. "Have fun finding the owlery."
"Pass out?" Hermione asked, looking over. "Don't you want to move to your be-"
She stopped talking when she realized he was already snoring. "Really, most days I don't know why I bother."
"It's an eternal mystery," Evie agreed. "But look on the bright side."
"What?" Hermione asked.
"If you hadn't bothered today, you'd never have seen someone wrestle a dragon."
There was a pause. Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Evie, sometimes I really hate it when you're right."
AN: Because, come on, guys, it's a dragon.
(Also I totally forgot about Norbert for a while, so... this is me, much like the flying lesson, covering my ass. But it was harder to fit in, what with Harry not really being close to Hagrid, and... well, this is the eventual result. Harry wrestling a dragon.)
So, Harry and Evie are both devious little shits who probably would have done well in Slytherin. But Harry much prefers the view from the tower, and Evie's still too smart for her own good. And on to my notes!
(1) Harry remains just a tiny bit psychic. And also, let's face it. "Dark Lord's tiara" is possibly the lamest magical item description in the history of ever.
(2) What exactly happened in the Everglades, you ask? All I'll say is "Ghost alligator". I'm sure you can fill the rest in yourself.
(3) She would have made an excellent Slytherin... but she makes an even better Ravenclaw.
(4) Because that makes all the difference.
(5) RGB episodes "Egon's Dragon" and "Surely You Joust". The first is hysterical because Egon has a dragon. Also it's touching. And kind of sad. It's rather well written, all things considered. The second is a shorter episode worth watching for the sole reason of seeing everyone dressed up like knights. 'nough said.
(6) Because the other would likely roast him.
(7) Actually, according to the Harry Potter Wiki, there is a small reserve in Wales. However, Evie has never tried to remember all the dragon reserves and has forgotten about this one, and while Harry remembers it, he views "within Britain" in much the same way as many Americans: as pretty much just England. Despite being in Scotland at the time.
So, not too many notes this time! Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review with any thoughts or questions!
Next Time: Harry meets the Minister and goes through a trapdoor.