At Last I See The Light
Disclaimer: Don´t own the characters, but I love them :)
This is dedicated to my dear friend Shanice, because, well, she is great. Hugs, girl xoxo
After Chloe has seen his real face, Lucifer panics and flies away. When she finds him, he's unconscious, floating in a pool of red-tainted water and she is terribly afraid that because she didn't believe him in time, she is now too late… she has finally lost him.
DECKERSTAR FLUFF WARNING
-.-.-.-.-
Chloe spends minutes that felt like hours parked outside Lux, debating if she should go up and find Lucifer. She wants to talk to him, desperately, but a part of her is afraid. Not of him, but terrified she will find a room with furniture covered in those awful white sheets once more and she's not sure she can deal with it again. Not now.
She finally makes her mind, sighs and leaves her car. The elevator ride is quick, but she still taps her foot against the floor. There's something gripping her heart, something painful; she needs to see him now. The doors open and she feels a momentary relief at finding the place exactly as it was the last time she came. No sheets. No weight of his absence.
"Lucifer?" She calls, but there is no answer. She calls again. Silence. She looks around. Emptiness. Empty bathroom, empty bedroom, empty piano, empty balcony. But he must be here, she thinks in despair, where else would he go? He has to be somewhere. Her heart is already jumping painfully in her chest. There must be something… maybe a room where he can… stare at the sky! She knows he doesn't have a very close relationship with his Father, but maybe he is talking to Him. She takes the elevator to go one floor up. She had nothing to lose by checking, nothing except being too late…
The sight that greets her takes her breath away. The sun is setting and the purple and orange that paint the horizon are the most beautiful sight to ever meet her eyes, yet seeing Lucifer could easily top that, right now. Why hadn't she been here before? Why hadn't she been here with him before? How could she think she could ever marry anyone else, even for a minute, a second? Lucifer might not like it, but she actually smiles at the thought God might have put him in her way, that he is indeed the one for her. Her destiny. But he is the Devil… can he feel the same? Everything inside her is screaming that he is still the same man, so if she hoped he had feelings for her before, why not now? Nothing had changed, nothing except her seeing how stupid she had been. He is no liar.
Her daydreams stop along with her heart, her blood freezing, and a chilling scream escapes her when she notices the pool's water tainted in red, an unconscious Lucifer floating in the middle of it, underneath a pair of massive extended white wings. All she can see is the blood coming from the wounds. Unconscious, she tells herself, not dead. She doesn't hesitate to plunge into the pool and drag him away, but the border of the pool is as far as she can take him. She doesn't have the strength to drag him to his room. She kneels by his side and listens to his heart: it is faint, but it is there. Her own heart starts beating again. She breaths deeply, but she can't shake off the feeling that he is dying, that she is losing him, even if he was never hers to loseto begin with. About time they changed that, isn't it? She wants him to be hers. That is what she truly desires, and she almost smiles at the thought.
She wishes she could spin and turn into Wonder Woman (Trixie's favorite superhero, without a lasso now), that he was just Steve Trevor, that she had the strength to take him to his room and help him heal. That the roles were reversed, but it isn't so. She feels so helpless. She can't watch him die. But she isn't helpless, she is smart, she is strong in many other ways, and her feelings must count for something. She starts to think.
And think
And think.
Then she gets it. If Lucifer is an angel… Amenadiel is one too. He could help her, help his brother. And what do you do when you want to talk to an angel? You pray. So, she puts her hands together and calls him, tears flowing down her cheeks. Please.
"Did you call me, Chloe?" Hearing his voice brings even more relief than she expected.
"I think he's dying… please, help him, help me, help us," she begs, not even knowing if it is possible, but certain that Amenadiel will help if he can. They are brothers, even if they quarrel often.
Amenadiel approaches and hugs her; she relaxes, noting how much she needs the reassurance that follows. "He is a celestial being, Chloe. He is not going to die, but we can take him to his room for rest and recovery. He's stronger than you think. So is his heart. So are his feelings."
She nods, breathing more easily, and follows Amenadiel to Lucifer's flat. She removes his wet clothes and gets him into dry underwear, so they can lie him on the bed. Then she removes her on wet outfit and puts on one of his dry shirts. Despite being clean, it smells of him, and that makes her sob again, though she wouldn't want to be wearing anything else. She breathes deeply again and says good-bye to Amenadiel before laying down beside Lucifer, her man. No matter what, he is human and real for her.
He's stronger than you think. So is his heart. So are his feelings She prays Amenadiel is right, in all of it. She is strong, but not strong enough to survive losing him.
-.-.-.-.-
Lucifer opened his eyes and groaned in discomfort. His wings still hurt, though they were almost fully recovered, and something was pressing down upon his chest. Something nice and… warm. She looked down and found Chloe asleep by his side, dressed in his shirt and resting her head on his chest. Discomfort disappeared in an instant, replaced by a warmth inside that felt like wingy things that he didn't understand. Understanding humans was hard. He wanted to groan again and restrained himself for her sake. Lately, it seemed that everything he did was for her sake (and for her spawn too, though he would NEVER admit that). His arm was half-way around her, so he took the irresistible chance to hug her closer, smelling her hair, forgetting for a moment the fear she would reject him. Relief immediately flooded Lucifer. He hadn't lost her yet. She knew the truth and she was here. Nothing else mattered. He had her, for the moment, and that was enough. He just kissed her forehead, watching her sleep. She stirred and looked up at him, smiling when she saw him awake. That smile was brighter and more precious to him that any of the stars he created, he wouldn't change that light for anything.
"How are you…?"
"I don't believe you, Detective. Sneaking almost naked into a defenseless man's bed? Outrageous!" He grinned, wrapping her other arm around her. Am I truly awake?
"Forget the question, you're feeling perfectly fine, I see," she laughed, placing her hand on his chest.
"You are not afraid?" He asked, his eyes opening big. That's what it appeared, but it was so beyond his wildest dreams he couldn't believe it. She wasn't turning away from him.
"You know, they say that when you have seen someone sleeping you can't be afraid of him, because you have seen him at his most defenseless," she replied, drawing a circle in his chest with her finger and he shivered. No matter how ancient he was, she could make him feel things he had never felt before.
"I mean it. You have seen my face and you are here? You still want me?" He questioned, shaking his head in disbelief. "How? Are you sound of mind? You don't want to hide your spawn from me and run away?"
"And why on Earth would I want to hide Trixie from you? What have you ever done to harm her? She adores you. Yes, I have seen your face, but, Lucifer, I have also seen your heart. Which one do you think it's more important?" she asked, and he gasped, because her eyes were saying that she adored him too. And was that possible?
"I will go with face, for the sake of the argument. The truth," he said, almost exasperated. Getting his hopes up just to have them crushed was more than he could bare. He realized he had fallen again, and, this time, it was all because of her.
"Yes, the truth. You said you always tell me the truth and I doubted you. I took everything as a metaphor and dismissed your problems when you needed me. I should be the one apologizing," she sighed and looked away from him, but he made her look at him again, stroking her cheek. She let him, and it felt wonderful.
"Apologizing? You have nothing to apologize for. You are perfect. You are… a miracle. Actually, I will explain that one later."
"You would never lie to me, right?" She asked, snuggling closer to him. His whole body shivered, delighted. It wasn't even sex, and he didn't know it could feel so good.
"That much is completely true," he conceded, with a gesture of his hand, aiming to make her laugh again, but she was serious.
"And you still won't lie to me now, right?" She asked then, this time staring into his eyes with a determination that pierced him to the soul.
"Not now, not ever," he admitted, unable to look away. He was lost in the sea of her, and just starting to realize how deeply. He was meant to, and for the first time the idea wasn't as disgusting as it used to be. Why was he trying to fight his father plans for him when he didn't even know them?
"Then there's only one thing I need you to tell me…" she said, after a short silence. She was caressing his arm, and seemed to be enjoying the intimacy as much as he was.
"Ask away, Detective. I am all yours… for the sake of this investigation," he grinned, crossing his arms behind his head and she half-sat, somehow hovering above him. Desire flashed in her eyes and he was finding it harder and harder to keep his hopes at bay. They had taken upon his soul and there was no ransoming it anymore. He was in her hands, and for the first time in his existence that thought didn't terrify him. It excited him. So many firsts.
"Do you love me?" She asked, still piercing him with the strength of the feelings he saw in her eyes. He was taken by surprise, and though there was a time when he would have been disgusted by the answer, he wasn't that angel anymore. For a brief moment, he opened his mouth and yet said nothing.
"As much as there was a time when it would have pained me to admit it, I am elated to do so now. The answer is a clear and resounding… yes. Chloe Decker, I, Lucifer Morningstar, the Devil, love you. To the core."
Her face filled with relief, joy, and, yes, also love. Her body relaxed; she smiled, glowed. Lucifer realized that he, the Lightbringer, had been the one to ignite that light inside of her, and he felt immensely proud. He wasn't a monster, he was a bringer of light. He always had been. And for reminding him of that, he would cherish her forever.
"Then, what is there to be afraid of? Would you ever harm me? You took forty bullets for me," Chloe's words pierced through the haze of his elation and he smiled at her.
"Forty-one, to be precise," Lucifer chuckled; he was bubbling up inside, such a strange sensation. "Harm you? Define harming," he leaned towards her ear. "Does penetrating you count?" He whispered seductively and placed a soft kiss on her neck. He was delighted to see her blushing, and to notice the shiver that run through her skin, but he was teasing and had no intention of rushing things.
"Lucifer! I am trying to have a serious conversation here!" She giggled, pushing him away. But she didn't mean it, she was burning as much as he was. Recognizing desire was his gift, after all, and she could only be immune up to a point.
"I am taking this investigation very seriously, Detective. Ask away," he said, raising his palms in submission. He did want everything to be clear between them, no more misunderstandings.
"Charlotte Richards. How was she your stepmother?" Chloe mumbled, frowning. "Was she really?"
"Oh, she was actually my mother. She died in the Hotel that day and the Goddess of All Creation took her body, but then I sent her to another universe, and empty one, and Charlotte Richards was back. I never properly thanked you for not calling me a liar at that trial," he explained, intertwining his fingers with hers. He could trust Chloe, and that had no price for him. He could tell she knew she could trust him too. Just like she said that day.
"I don't lie either. That is the truth," she shrugged, laying down by his side now. "And… your wings? You have them now, but someone stole them once."
"For some unfathomable reason, they grew back after I cut them out. Once and again. Stubborn things. It would seem at some point I started believing that I deserve them," he whined and rolled his eyes.
"You cut out your wings?! I don't even want to ask, just promise me you won't do it again," she asked, squeezing his hand in hers. "I like them, they are a part of you."
"For you, my love, anything," he promised, squeezing back. The things had come in handy, after all.
"So, Pierce was really Cain, Amenadiel is an angel and Maze is a demon. Heaven is real. So is Hell. Not much to take in, at all," she sighed, shaking her head. "Wow."
And there it was. Of course it was stupid to get his hopes up. Now she was going to say that she needed time to think and she would decide that she never wanted to see him again. He cringed inwardly, but kept his pain to himself. No point in making things difficult for her. He would be forever grateful for everything she had already given him. She wanted her to be happy, more than he wanted to be happy himself, and that meant rising above his desire to possess her.
"You need time…" He sighed, resigned. Was there any chance at all that he wouldn't lose her, anyway? Because if he did, nothing in Hell could compare. Yet, if she wanted to, he would let her go. She deserved that. "I understand, I promise I… won't pester you. Just, please, tell me I can still work with you," he said softly, closing his eyes, ashamed of how needy he sounded.
"Yes, a lot of time to process," she started, but she must have seen the pain and despair in his eyes, because she turned to be on top of him and kissed him deeply. At first, he was so surprised he didn't react, but his instincts were stronger, so his arms enveloped her and his lips hungrily responded to hers, until she moaned softly. "But not time away from you, never that."
His body was burning for her, but for a moment he just wanted to stare into her eyes to see the truth, and memorize her features. He took her face in his hands and plunged into her green stare. He didn't know for how long.
"Lucifer?" Chloe's voice reached him through the fog of his feelings. "Are you all right? Am I hurting you?" She asked, worry in her voice, and started to get off him, but he just held her tighter to prevent it.
"I…" He started, but then some kind of understanding seemed to dawn in her eyes.
"I love you," she smiled. "I have for a long while. You are the one I want, don't ever forget that… and I never said sex was off the table," she finally whispered into his ear, and it was almost enough to send him over the edge. The world was still turning, she was still his.
"Oh, is it, Detective?" He smirked and rolled to be on top of her, making her squeal. "I will have to punish you first for taking so long to admit it," he laughed and started tickling her, making her laugh louder and kick. And that laughter filled his soul. The knowledge that she loved him filled a void that he wasn't fully conscious existed inside of him. She was a miracle. His miracle.
He normally hated being a part of the plans of his dear old Dad, but Amenadiel always said he had a reason for everything; maybe, just maybe, this time it was a damn very good one.
And for the first time in forever he looked up to Heaven and mumbled thanks.
-.-.-.-.-
I hope you enjoyed it, I would be delighted to know what you think!
