"AHH! SANTO MIERTA, HOW LONG HAVE THESE CATS BEEN HERE?!" Roberto asked, slamming and barricading the bodega door with his body.
"Now why are you asking ME that?! They've been here since I was a kid! They've been here since YOU lived here!"
As it turned out, getting from the bodega door to the entrance to the apartment was no easy feat. And Bobby, Grandpa Hector, and Roberto were just realizing that those feral cats outside might be a problem.
"Ok, we just have to distract them!" Bobby said, going towards the food aisle. "Abuelo taught me this when we first moved here!"
He reached out and grabbed the kryptonite of cats everywhere: a can of sardines. Bobby quickly popped it open and threw the contents as far as he could. They landed on the other side of the road, which distracted the cats just long enough…
"Go, go, go!" Hector said, frantically pushing the two men towards the apartment door. One press of the button and a forceful shove, the three were safe.
"Phew!" Roberto said, wiping sweat off his brow. "Those ain't the same gattos I remember!"
"Of course they aren't!" Hector scolded before softening up. "You're the only one that ever cared for them… that calico one had kittens after you and Maria moved."
"Uhh, I think you mean Quilton? And that's good. She was always my favorite…"
"Uhh, guys, I don't mean to interrupt, but I think that we should be focusing on my mother up there…"
Bobby nervously gestured to the door. Right behind it stood the Casagrande household, where chaos was the law and rules were merely suggestions. A man wouldn't survive long without a gameplan… especially if one of its residents wanted said man dead or alive.
"Alrighty, so what do we do?"
"Easy! We just go in there and explain. It's easy and will save us time!"
"Are you crazy, Hector?! Maria would crucify me! I say you and Bobby warm her up, and I miraculously drop in for an unplanned visit?"
"BOTH of your plans are flawed! We need to subtlety ask my mom about dad, and then bring him in! She'll understand!"
The three soon found themselves in a Mexican standoff, nobody wanting to give up ground. It would be either one plan or the other, no exceptions…
"What are you guys doing?"
All three turned their heads. In front of the door was a boy dressed in a yellow button up shirt and a bowtie.
"Oh! Uhh, hey, CJ!" Bobby said, walking towards his cousin. "Why are you out here?"
"I… saw you guys through the door. Who's that?"
"Oh, him?" Hector said, gesturing towards Roberto. "He's a… a family friend. Now go back inside for now, buddy…"
"Uhh… should I tell Mom or Aunt Maria-"
"NO!" All three shouted at once, startling the poor child. He ran back inside the door, leaving the three alone again.
"Uhh… who was that?"
"Oh, that's CJ. Carlos Jr, after his dad."
"Huh… what's wrong with him?"
Both Bobby and Hector glared at Roberto, who immediately changed his phrasing.
"Uhh… what does he have?"
"...Down Syndrome," Hector said coldly before turning back to focus. "Now, my plan is the best! We need the subtle approach!"
"No, Grandpa! We need my plan!"
"No, guys! Mine!"
"Why don't you play Rock Paper Scissors?"
"CJ?! What are you- go! Play pirates or something right now!"
"Ok!" the boy said as he walked through the door again. The three men were TRULY alone now.
"Uhh… you know, CJ had a good idea. We have these kinds of games for a reason…"
"-sigh- Wjatever… I just want to get this over with. Let's do it."
It took three rounds of intensity, but Roberto won with the deadly one rock-two scissor combo. The subtle approach it was.
"Alright, you two, I'm counting on you. I don't want to die today, so do good! Please!"
"We'll try… no promises!"
The two men opened the door and walked inside. The smell of cooking beef wafted through the house, and as usual, there was chaos in the main hallway.
"Hector?! I need you to try my quesadilas! Where IS he?!"
"Bobby?! I need your help! I have this Miami Vice outfit you'd look dashing in!"
"Hola, Mi amor… Mi rosa en un arbusto de espinas… NO! Think, Carl! She'll NEVER be yours that way!
"Everyone! I just learned the most incredible fact about porpoises today! Did you know..."
"SQUAWK! HOLA, HECTOR!"
Sergios words caught the attention of all in the hallway, who turned to the door.
"Hector! There you are! Come, come, I need you to-"
"Uhh… actually, grandma, we're kind of busy right now. Where's my mom?"
"Hmm…" Rosa pondered, trying to remember. "I think she and Frida were in the living room. Why do you need her?"
"Uhh…"
"Oh, no reason," Hector said with a nervous smile. "We just have to talk to her."
"Oh. Well, OK then…"
She and the rest of the family left the hallway as Bobby and Hector went into the living room. Sure enough, Maria and Frida were on the couch, watching a soap opera.
"Uhh… hey mom?"
Maria turned her head, smiling warmly when she saw her son.
"Hey, Bobby. Hey, Dad."
Both men stood awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Truth be told, they could have thought out this plan before going in…
"Umm… Bobby was wondering-"
"Yeah, I was wondering…"
"A customer asked him about his… his family. Specifically, his, err…"
Maria, who had up till then been smiling, frowned. She knew what the conversation was about.
"Bobby, if you want to talk about your father, we can do it another time…"
"NO!" he shouted, causing both his mother and aunt to jump. Realizing that, he softened his tone.
"Err, I mean, why can't we talk about it now? I mean, we've never… you know, had a conversation about it. Since I was six, at least..."
Maria stood up, still stonefaced.
"One question. That's it."
Bobby grimaced. He knew his mother didn't like talking about his dad, but this? This was a whole different level of solidarity. One question?
"Hmm…" he pretended to think, sitting down. "I guess… what happened to him? After he left, I mean…"
Frida was motioning to Bobby to stop talking, but he ignored her. This was important;too important.
Maria sat down again, starting to recall her memories.
"I believe he went back here, to the city. That's the only place we had ever lived besides Royal Woods… I don't really know much after that."
"Alright, great!" Bobby said, clapping his hands once as he stood up. "Actually, if you could-"
"Bobby, I've given enough favors to you today," his mother said, turning the TV volume up. "I'm not going to-"
"AAAAAHHHHHHHH! POLILLAS! POLILLAS! AHHHHHHHHH!"
The front door to the apartment slammed open, causing the entire living room to stand up in shock. A ruckus was coming from the hallway, until…
"PHEW!" Roberto said, standing in the doorway of the living room. "You didn't tell me you had a moth problem, Hector! I've been… scared…"
Maria stood petrified by the couch, her mouth hanging open. Bobby and Hector chuckled nervously, knowing the plan had gone awry.
"Uhh… yeah, heh… surprise! He, kind of just popped in this morning…"
With those words, Marias face changed from the surprised look… to anger.
"Roberto…"
"Oh, uhh… Hey, Maria..." Roberto chuckled, trying to stand his tall frame straight in the doorway. "Uhh, how are things?"
She suddenly began to take large steps towards him, making his eyes grow wide. He had no time to react as Marias hand flew up, connecting her open knuckles with his left cheek. He staggered back along with Hector, Bobby and Frida, as if they had been slapped themselves.
Roberto stared wide eyed at Maria, almost petrified in a mixture of shock and terror.
"Well…" he said, rubbing his cheek. "I wasn't quite expecting THAT, but…"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Maria roared, causing everyone to step back a few more feet. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"
"MOM!" Bobby said, restraining his mother. Maria stared at Roberto like a wild dog to its prey, set on causing as much pain as humanly possible.
"Roberto, go into Carlotas room!" Hector said, taking control. "Bobby, get your mother on the couch!"
Both men complied. Bobby forced his mother to sit down on the couch, as Roberto tried in vain to find a bedroom to seek asylum.
The commotion had led the rest of the family out of their hiding, and they were now gathered in the living room… save Ronnie Anne, who was out skating with her friends.
"Maria?" Carlos said to his sister. "What's wrong? What happened?"
"We, uhh… had a run in with my dad…" Bobby saud, looking at the floor. Carlos mouth dropped open, almost in the same fashion as his sister.
"Roberto? He's here?!"
"Uhhh, Bobby, Hector? I can't find any bedroom here…"
"JUST GO INTO THE CLOSET, ROBERTO!"
"Oh, alright! Hey… this IS a bedroom! Neat!"
Maria sat on the couch, not moving whatsoever. She blinked occasionally, trying to process the past few moments. The family was in even more chaos than usual
"Oh, boy…" Bobby said to no one in particular. "Alright, Carl, CJ, make sure he doesn't leave Ronnie Annes room, got it? Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Frida and Uncle Carlos, you stay here. I'll go call Ronnie Anne…"
"NO!" Maria shouted at her son, who stepped back. She sat back down, her face red and puffy. Carlos nodded at Bobby, giving him the OK to call.
He walked out of the room and got his phone out, dialing his sisters number. After a few seconds, she answered.
"Hey, Bobby. What's up?"
"Ronnie Anne, you need to come home now. There's something going on."
A slight pause, then an answer.
"What? What's going on?"
"Uhh… I think it's better if you come home. Mom is…"
"What? What happened to mom?! Is she okay?"
"She's fine…" he said, looking into the living room. "WILL be fine. You need to get here."
"I'll be right home. Just, give me a minute, alright? I have to-"
"Niní, we don't have a minute. You need to come home. NOW."
There wad an uncomfortable pause. Bobby wasn't sure if she had hung up or not… it wasn't looking-
"I'll be right there."
The phone clicked. Bobby shoved his phone back into his pocket, rubbing his head. He had been getting a headache from all of this…
But now was no time to rest. He had to change the gameplan… explain to Ronnie Anne what was going on… and how, if possible, they would fix it...