Another Father's Advice
Chapter 5
Mike smiled down at Madeline. She was sleeping on his chest and he ran his hand through her red hair. She had put her nightgown back on and he had his boxers on in case one of the kids woke up. He had helped her move the crib and get both kids settled for bed. It had been an incredible night, at least for him it had been. Madeline was not like Christine, but it just felt right.
He refused to compare the two women but the one thing that was the same was the way he felt. With Christine, he had gotten complacent; believing she would always just be there when he got home from deployment. Her death had taught Mike to not take love for granted.
He wasn't sure that it was love where Madeline was concerned but it was close. Christine and he had been high school sweethearts but had known each since grade school. There was never any doubt that they would end up married. He graduated from police academy two days before their small wedding and Kaitlyn made her appearance less than a year later. Christine worked some menial jobs until Mike joined the Navy, shortly before Hannah's birth and once she was born; she become a stay-at-home-mom.
Mike always joked that Christine was a super-mom and wife. She kept them afloat when he was deployed, handled moves; sometimes without him. Their kids were happy, healthy and well-adjusted because of her. Their house was clean and very homey. Christine was a phenomenal cook and when Mike came home from deployment; she would always have his favorite meal ready, cold beer in the fridge, and had always spent her birthday money and money she had saved up baking pies and cookies for people on cigars for him.
He had not been a perfect husband or father and he definitely should have been home more, but he still had a good life. Christine and the kids had deserved better. If Madeline, Joey and Elizabeth were a second chance for him; he would do so much differently. In her sleep, Madeline stretched slightly and cuddled even closer. About the time she settled; Elizabeth started crying. Mike eased himself out from under Madeline and left the bedroom and went across the hallway to Elizabeth's new room. Elizabeth was sitting up in her crib and despite crying, gave Mike a slight smile.
"Hey there, baby girl. What's going on?" Mike asked Elizabeth as he picked her up. He quickly discovered that she was soaking wet. It had been a few years since he changed a diaper and as he laid Elizabeth down on her changing table; she looked at him like he had lost his mind. "You do want a diaper change, right? I will give you a bottle but we gotta change that diaper first." Mike stated as he went to work.
"You are good with her. Joey too. Your kids were lucky." Madeline said as she walked up beside him.
"I was lucky to have them." Mike said as he finished with Elizabeth's diaper and changed her onesie. Madeline had left for a second to grab a pillow and then sat down in the rocking chair.
"I still nurse her, especially at night. She relaxes better. Hope you don't mind?" Madeline asked as she settled Elizabeth on her lap and adjusted her nightgown. Elizabeth had began nursing immediately and Madeline hadn't even attempted to cover-up not that Mike minded. They were past the point of embarrassment. Mike knew some men would be bothered by watching their girlfriend nursing a baby, but he loved how domestic it felt. It was beautiful to him.
"Not in the least. It's sweet." Mike remarked as he bent down and kissed Madeline.
"I was going to nurse her when my mom was here, and she said it was stupid. Formula is expensive now and I nursed Joey and my oldest son too." Madeline told him as she rocked Elizabeth back and forth.
"Christine nursed all of ours. She said they did better. Didn't get sick as much. She had read all the research about brain and eye development and so forth. I would say, just do whatever you feel is right. She's your baby; not your mom's." Mike stated.
"There is a lot of really positive research for it. I also liked the bond it creates. My mom never cared about that stuff." Madeline told him.
"Yeah, the kids were all close with Christine. Sometimes it bothered me that they weren't so close with me but in the end with deployments and all; it was probably best. Their mom was their constant. I was the fun parent that was only there a few months out of every year." Mike agreed.
"Will you be deploying again?" Madeline asked.
"I don't know. Anything is possible. I can't say for sure. I would like to put in for a land position but with being one of the few admirals with fleet command experience; I may get deployed again. It'll be awhile though before we rebuild…again." Mike admitted.
"Well, for selfish reasons, I hope it is a good long while. I like having you around and my kids adore you." Madeline remarked.
"I like being around. So, how are you going to explain this to Joey?" Mike asked.
"I think he will be fine. He really likes you a lot. Are you moving in?" Madeline asked with a grin.
"I…don't know. I want to keep my apartment for a while. Maybe stay over a couple nights a week? I am sorry if you…thought something different." Mike stammered. He hadn't expected that question.
"Mike, it's okay. This is all new. It isn't smart to give up your apartment yet. I wouldn't suggest it, but I am not sure about uprooting the kids." Madeline stated as she reached out and squeezed his hand. Elizabeth was almost asleep but was still latched on, nursing.
"It isn't so much that…I never got confirmation on my daughter's death. My second born. Hannah. It seems stupid but my extra bedroom…I have decorated for her. Her favorite color on the wall. Like a teenage girl would like. Floral bedspread, pink curtains. Her headboard and footboard are like yours. White dresser. It isn't perfect because I decorated it, but I wanted to have something for her if she surfaced. I know there isn't a good chance of it, but I would want her to know I hadn't given up hope." Mike admitted. Mike had only told Tom and Russ about the bedroom; Tom because he had helped him move in the furniture and Russ because of how much they had talked.
"It sounds beautiful to me. You don't want to give that up. Makes sense. How old would she be?" Madeline asked.
"Just thirteen." Mike stated.
"Trenton would be ten this year. I have kept his soccer uniform. Not sure why. Haven't ever washed it either. I was pregnant with Joey when he died, and I thought my world had ended…my world as I knew it had but I got through it. Still think about him every day. Mike, there is nothing wrong with hanging onto hope. It doesn't make you weak." Madeline said with a smile as she detached Elizabeth who had fallen asleep. She handed her to Mike and readjusted her nightgown.
"What about your husband?" Mike asked as he propped Elizabeth up to burp her.
"I was about two months along with Elizabeth. Drunk driver killed him." Madeline said simply. Mike knew to drop the subject. It was obviously still painful for Madeline. Elizabeth gave him a healthy burp and Mike laid her down in the crib. He pulled Madeline into a hug and then gave her a kiss.
"Christine died from the Red Flu. I always found it ironic…I lost my wife and two; possibly all three of my kids from the flu that I was tasked to help find a cure for." Mike commented as they walked out Elizabeth's room.
"The part that bothered me was that I lost a son and a brother to the flu and somehow Pete and I survived and had Joey; then to have him die in a car wreck. Just seemed like a cruel joke. And he was so happy when I told him I was pregnant. Two weeks later; he was gone. Joey barely remembers him, and it bothers me that Elizabeth won't know…anyway; not like you want to talk about this." Madeline stated as they crawled back into her bed. The mood had turned heavy and Mike had to get some rest. He pulled her onto his chest and kissed the top of her head.
"I really don't know what to say to make it better, but I can say; I will help with the kids." Mike realized as soon as he said it; what it sounded like and Madeline raised up to look at him.
"Thought you were moving slow?" Madeline asked.
"I don't know what the hell I'm doing but I did mean it. I…this is too much information, but you are only the second woman I have ever slept with. Christine and I were high school sweethearts. We'd known each other all through school. She had our lives all mapped out. I would retire after becoming Admiral; about the same time Lucas went to college; we would buy an RV and visit every state. We wouldn't have a schedule and once our kids settled down, we would park the RV in their driveway for a month at a time to drive them crazy and spoil the grandkids. Now, there are no kids to drive crazy, no grandkids to spoil, no states to see, and no RV. In a lot of ways, you and I are both grieving for the life we thought we would have." Mike told her as he stroked her cheek.
"Would you believe that that was mine and Pete's plan. RV, touring the country, visiting family?" Madeline said with a smile.
"It's ironic." Mike agreed.
"So, I have slept but you haven't. You'd better get some rest. If you want to go back to your apartment, I understand." Madeline told him.
"Do you want me too?" Mike asked.
"No, I want you to stay right here and go to sleep but I didn't want to pressure you, more than I already have." Madeline told him.
"I haven't done a single thing that I didn't want to and it has been and will be amazing. My one misstep has been buying you a bottle of wine." Mike told her as he scooted down in the bed to get in a better sleeping position; all while keeping Madeline on his chest.
"I hadn't told you I was nursing. It was an easy mistake and the wine will get drank once she is weaned. Go to sleep." Madeline ordered after giving him another kiss.
"Yes, ma'am." Mike agreed and closed his eyes.
Before he realized it; he could hear birds chirping and Joey's voice in the living room. It was already daylight out and he had intended on being out the door before the kids woke up; especially Joey. It was a Saturday, so at least he wasn't late for work but the idea of doing the walk of shame was a little embarrassing; and then two other voices drifted through the wall, Kara and Frankie's. He got dressed in the clothes he had worn the day before, used the restroom and tried to ignore the five-o'clock shadow that Kara would notice. He walked into the open living area with his boots in one hand. He might as well just face it, he had slept with Kara's best friend.
"Mornin' ladies." Mike said simply as he walked in and sat down next to Joey at the table. The two boys were eating pancakes and Elizabeth was in her high chair, also eating some sort of mush that might have been pancakes at some point. She tried to hand him a handful, but Mike shook his head. Kara was standing in the kitchen with Madeline with a shocked look on her face.
"You were here last night when I went to bed and now you're here now? Did you and Mommy have a slumber party like me and Frankie have sometimes?" Joey asked.
"Something like that." Mike told him meanwhile Kara had spewed coffee all over the kitchen and Madeline had started laughing.
"My daddy has slumber parties sometimes at my house, but he doesn't sleep in my room like you do when you stay over. Doesn't sleep on the couch either, he sleeps in my mommy's bed like Uncle Mike slept in your mommy's bed." Frankie explained, and Joey nodded. Madeline had turned bright red and Kara's eyes had gone wide. Apparently, Mike was not supposed to know that Danny slept over sometimes.
"Oh. I guess big people have to have sleep overs sometimes too. Did you eat pizza and watched movies all night?" Joey asked Mike quietly.
"No, Joey. Big people don't do that on sleepovers. They kiss a lot and…" Frankie started, and Mike looked at Kara with a raised eyebrow.
"Frankie! You about done eating?" Kara asked, effectively distracting her son.
"NO! I still have half a plate, Mommy; you said I have to eat it all." Frankie stated.
"Mike, do you want some pancakes and sausage? I still have plenty." Madeline asked.
"That would be great." Mike told her.
"Coffee?" Madeline asked, and Mike nodded.
"Joey, are you okay with me having more sleepovers with your mommy?" Mike asked the little boy while helping him cut up his sausage links.
"Yeah but sometimes I like sleeping in her bed when I get scared of the monsters under my bed and in my closet? Is that okay?" Joey asked.
"That is perfectly fine." Mike agreed as Madeline set the coffee cup down.
"Good, can you help me play baseball? I can't catch." Joey asked. Kara had stepped out and was talking on the phone.
"Yeah. I can definitely do that." Mike assured him as Kara walked back in.
"Okay, Frankie; eat up. You have a play date." Kara stated with a smile to Mike.
"With who?" Frankie asked.
"Believe it or not, your daddy." Kara told him, and Frankie smiled broadly. He began digging into his meal and eating very quickly. "Sir, I will keep this on the down low." Kara started.
"I honestly don't care if you do or don't. My wife died six years ago. It is time for me to start living again." Mike told her after Madeline carried Elizabeth into the extra bedroom.
"Sir, understood. Might want to take the wedding band off too." Kara said as she pointed to his left hand. Mike nodded at her and took it off, sticking it in his shirt pocket. It would go into the jewelry box on Hannah's dresser. She may never use it, but it would be there. He just couldn't clean out the room.