A/N: Hey guys I'm so sorry about not posting yesterday! I had a really bad day and just couldn't function so I'm sorry! But I'm back now and I bring you more Jessamine feels because I think she is SO underrated! To answer the guest's question; Yes, 'Dear heart, who knows your courage better than mine' was taken from The Whitechapel Fiend because it's just amazing! Also, in this one Will sings to Tessa, the song is called My Romance by Aaron Tviet so seriously do look it up because its soo cute and feelsy! –HerondaleThoughts x

Chapter 5, Will's POV

Everything had been going as well as it could in Will's eyes. Tessa was better now, she didn't cry as much and she wouldn't fuss over James. His son was really growing into being a fine young man, he thought. He had an obsession with a wooden spoon and he often pulled Will's hair or tried to bite his finger off. Will was sitting in the nursery one morning, reading contently to James who made all those little childish screams that children make. Will always used different voices as he read, he prized himself on his variety and often complimented himself on doing such a good job. Will was sitting with James on his knee who today, was trying to eat the buttons on his waistcoat "No, Jamie no, that's bad" the child just giggled in return and clapped his fat little hands. Will smirked and sighed

"Where is mama? Where's mama?"

"Mama is here" Tessa stood at the door with a soft smile on her lips. Her hair was plaited to the side and she wore her nightdress. That morning Tessa had woken up with a splitting sore head and had thrown up so Will insisted bed rest. He stood up and set James back in the cot before walking over to his wife, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close to his side

"I thought I said bed rest" he sighed, kissing her temple and pressing his forehead to her head

"I know, but the bed was too clammy. I was alone" she whispered. Will knew this had become a growing fear of Tessa's. Being alone. He turned to stand in front of her and tilted her chin up

"I'm here now, do you want to go back to bed?" Tessa nodded and Will guided her back across. He made sure Tessa was comfortable before he lay down himself. Tessa used his chest as a pillow and he carelessly playing with the ends on her hair

"How do you feel now?"

"My head feels like bricks" Will kissed her forehead gently and moved down a little so Tessa's head was tucked neatly under his chin. Her body curled against his strong frame made Will relax. For someone who had spent nearly all his life fighting demons and denying himself love, he never thought he would be lying in bed with the girl he loved more than life itself

"Do you remember my proposal to you?"

"Mmm?"

"Marry me Tessa, marry me and be Tessa Herondale. Or be Tessa Gray…" Will smiled down at her, she was looking up at him with her eyes filled with love

"Whatever you wish to call yourself but marry me and stay with me and never leave me, for I cannot bear another day of my life to go by that does not have you in it" Will kissed her forehead softly but it explained everything. When he pulled back he looked at Tessa, smiling softly

"Happy wedding anniversary, Tessa" he whispered. Tessa sat up and smiled. She kissed his lips and rested her head on his chest

"I forgot" it was barely above a whisper. But Will could hear her broken heart and the tears she was willing herself not to shred

"Oh Tessa," he whispered. He hugged her tightly. He held her into his chest and listened to her sobs, each one breaking his heart. He pulled away and looked at Tessa

"My sweet Tessa, listen to me. Its ok, it's ok you forgot. You've been under a lot of stress recently, I don't care if you missed a wedding anniversary"

"But I do"

"You shouldn't. Because we will have so many more to share together don't we? You know, on Jem's 16th birthday. I forgot it was his birthday. Everyone bought him a present and a card but I had nothing so I told him my birthday present to him was my presence itself" Tessa laughed weakly at that which made him smile

"You're alright, its ok" he whispered. He tucked her in close to him again but he still heard her muffle sobs so decided there was one thing for it. He was going to sing. He adjusted his position slightly so he was sitting up and cradling her in his arms and gently he began to sing

"My romance, doesn't need to have a moon in the sky,

My romance, doesn't need a blue lagoon standing by

No month of May, no twinkling stars

No hideaway, no soft guitar

My romance doesn't need a castle rising in Spain

Or a dance to a constantly surprising refrain

Wide awake, I can make my most fantastic dreams come true

My romance, doesn't need a thing…but…you" by the time he finished singing he knew Tessa was asleep. Her crying had died out and she was peaceful in his arms. He sighed and kisses her forehead again. He hums the rest of the song, playing with her hair and tracing figures on her arm. Secretly he was heartbroken that she had forgotten today was their anniversary. Will sighs again and kept her close as usual. He never would grow tired of having her in his arms, his sweet Tessa. He saw the burnt love rune on her wrist. They couldn't remove it but they had got the toxic from it out of her system which was good. Will knew how close they had been. How close he was to loosing her again. But that was his Tessa. Going to deaths brink and coming back to her. He remembered all those times he thought he had lost her, how he held her body and thought she was gone but then she would come back. She would come back ten times stronger than before but now, that fire was gone. She came back from death because of Jem and Magnus. Will had been useless. He felt tears falling away and wiped them away. He kissed her head again and stood up, leaving her a note saying he was out with Balious. That was partly true, he hurried out of the room and opened the Institute steps, only to be stopped by a force he couldn't see

"Now Will, where would you be going in such a hurry?" He looked at Jessamine, he opened his mouth but closed it. Tears spilling from his eyes

"T-Tessa forgot it was our wedding anniversary" he choked. He bit his lip and before he could stop it tears were spilling from his eyes and sobs escaped him. He buried his face in his hands and then felt a coldness envelope him. Jessamine. Jessamine was hugging him. He cried slightly into her shoulder, never wanting to someone to be real so badly. They stayed like that for a while, Jessamine hugging Will while he cried

"S-sorry, I'm so sorry" he whispered, wiping his face but Jessamine shook her head

"It's the least I can do, you made my death so much more kinder. I went knowing you care for me, after thinking for so long that the world hated me, it was nice to go feeling loved" Will nodded

"I never hated you, Jessamine. I never could hate you, disagree with you yes but never hate" she nodded and sat down next to Will

"You know, sometimes we forget what we love. Look at Henry, he never remembers anything but Charlotte still knows he loves her, even though he hasn't remembered her birthday since they were married" Will couldn't help but laugh slightly

"We forgive the ones we love when they forget details because we know that they don't mean to forget them" Will turned to look at her

"Thank you" he whispered, she nodded

"All part of being a ghost; guarding here, fighting off danger, protecting you all and offering counselling" Will laughed a little louder now

"But of course if it were optional I would leave"

"And go where?"

"Oh I don't know, find Nate probably" Will nodded and sighed gently

"You loved him didn't you?"

"I loved the idea of being in love with him, he saw straight threw me. I loved him like you love Tessa. Except he didn't love me back. He used me for many reasons, now I see what a fool I was. I see you and Tessa, Henry and Charlotte, even Sophie and Gideon and I know I was his rag doll. His puppet, no one had showed me real love but then he sweeps in, offering me everything I could ever want in ways I could only dream of"

"He blinded you" Will whispered. Jessamine nodded sadly and took a deep breath

"When he started to show his true colours, I was in too deep. I couldn't stop what he was doing"

"He tormented Tessa" Will replied

"I see that now, I see what a monster he was. Fear drives us insane doesn't it? You never know a person truly until you've seen them afraid"

"He was scared of the Magister"

"I suffered for it, he shouted a lot. He threatened me too, but I was stubborn. I didn't care, he promised to take me away so what did I care?" she sighed and shook her head

"You should go back to Tessa, Will. She might be worried were you are"

"Are you alright?" Jessamine nodded and smiled

"I still see Thomas and Agatha, they both understand now. They forgive me" Will smiled and stood up

"Goodnight Jessie"

"Goodnight Will" Will made his way back to his room. He felt refreshed and more alert now after speaking to Jessamine. She made him realise a lot of things that he had been blind too.

He walked up to his room and saw Tessa was gone. Panic was flaring up in his chest again, god no she can't have. He thought, he searched the bathroom but she wasn't there. He checked the nursery and she wasn't there. James was sound asleep

"No, no, no" he whispered. He turned and sprinted down the halls, he wasn't entirely sure when he started shouting Tessa's name but he knew he was because he could hear his echo. He sprinted to the library and let out a long breath

"Thank god" he whispered. Tessa was sitting on the floor, her skirts fanned out around her. He hurried towards her but then heard her muffle sobs. He kneeled in front of her, her hands were burnt and blistered and in her hands was a picture

"I-I heard you and Jessamine talking about Nate"

"Oh Tessa…"

"H-he used her, like he used me" she sobbed "But I still love him" Will pulled her into a hug. Damn Nate for doing this to her, damn him for corrupting her beautiful soul. Damn the world for making her think like this

"He was cruel, he was an abuser. Tessa, please don't waste your time thinking about what he did to you"

"James could've had an uncle, an uncle to t-take him out or teach him"

"He does. He has Jem. He has Henry, we do not need Nate in our lives"

"He's not going to be in them Will because he's dead!" she snapped before sobbing again. Will cursed mentally and closed his eyes, he kissed her forehead and opened his hands

"Let's go fix your hands" he whispered, he kept his tone gentle. Tessa nodded and stood up, letting Will guide her to the infirmary and tend to her blistering hands. When he finished, he kissed her hands gently and looked at Tessa

"It will get better one day" he wasn't referring to her hands. He was referring to her sadness. Her sadness that seemed to spread threw her body like a cancer. Her sadness that he couldn't protect her from. He hoped that some day it would get better. He was willing to wait for that day. For one day of happiness with Tessa was worth a thousand sad days with her. He never got over how her happiness radiated off her or how it lit up her grey eyes. One day of happiness, he reminded himself. One day of happiness, it will come.