If there was anything, ANYTHING that Roberto remembered about the bodega, it was that he HATED cleaning the place. For starters, it was only worth an extra dollar an hour. Two, there was dust "everywhere" that just HAD to be swept up, no matter how little there actually was. And three, the most important part, was that "cleaning" was Hector's fancy way of saying "I'm too lazy to work today, so you come in and do everything I'm supposed to do while I sit and eat potato chips upstairs." God, how he hated that man sometimes...
He should have gone up there and given him a piece of his mind when he called! But, because he was SUCH a nice guy, he didn't. And so there he was, on what was supposed to be an off day for him, sweeping the floor and trying his hardest not to die. Good going, Roberto. God freaking-
"Hey Uncle Robby, you wanna play pirates?"
Roberto turned around to see his nephew standing in the doorway, wearing a black eye patch and holding a plastic sword. He raised an eyebrow at him, then turned and kept sweeping.
"Sorry, CJ," he said carelessly as he awkwardly avoided eye contact. "I gotta work right now."
One would think that would be enough to drive anyone away, but CJ was not backing down.
"Are you sure? It will be fun!"
Oh, boy… what does "Sorry, CJ" mean? To be honest, this kid was an id- err… interesting. Nothing wrong with that, though; it just meant that he could be a handful from time to time. Don't get him wrong, Roberto loved the kid, but...
"Yeah, sorry, buddy," he said, trying not to make him sound like he wanted to strangle him. "Why don't you go upstairs? I'm sure someone will play with you there!"
CJ's smile disappeared, replaced by a sad smirk.
"I already asked. Bobby is talking to his girlfriend and Carl is doing something else. Please?"
Roberto sighed. This was JUST the day he imagined for himself…
"Look, CJ, I don't know what you want me to do. I HAVE to work right now. Why can't you just play with yourself or something? Go find your mom, have her read a story to you or something…"
Roberto turned and was just about to stack some soup cans when CJ spoke again.
"How dumb do you think I am, Uncle Robby?"
His face scrunched up in confusion as he turned back to his nephew.
"What?"
"I'm not dumb! I know how to read and write!" he said with a look of cross anger. "I may be different, but I'm not an idiot!"
"Well, I was just…"
CJ sighed, holding his hand out.
"It's fine. Most people act that way around me. I know I have, uhh… Down Syndrome, yeah… but that's nothing to me. I know what's going on and stuff. I hate it when people think I can't do things cause I look like I can't."
Roberto stared at CJ, his eyes wide. He had never known anyone with Down Syndrome before, but he always had the assumption that they were either retarded or not bright at all. Yet this kid, his nephew, was obviously neither of those things.
"Well geez… sorry, CJ," he said, rubbing his shoulder sheepishly. "I didn't know that."
"You're fine," he said, walking over to the coolers and grabbing a drink. "Most people have those sterao… stayraeo… uhhh…"
"Stereotypes?"
"Yeah, that!" He said, putting an orange juice on the counter. "Can you get this for me, please? But yeah, people always think I'm dumb. I'm not."
"Well, to be fair, bud, I've never known anyone with it except you," he said as he rung up the orange juice. "I just assumed-"
"Assuming isn't good. But if you keep an open mind, then you don't need to assume anything."
"Dang…" he muttered, astonished. "You never seem to be this way around your family, CJ…"
CJ smiled mischievously at the comment, looking down at his drink.
"Well… I don't think they know, either."
"Wait, what?"
"Yep! I don't usually like acting smart around people…"
Roberto raised his eyes, obviously surprised by this revelation.
"Well, CJ, if you're so smart and all, then why don't you tell them? They'd be able to help you out a lot more!"
To his surprise, CJ smiled again… this one less mischievous and eviler than the last.
"Well, if I tell them that, then who's gonna clean my room? Or tie my shoes for me? Bobby won't do all that if he knows I can do it myself, now, would he?"
Robertos eyes widened in shock.
"Jesus, CJ, you're an evil little shit…"
"I know!" he said as he jumped onto the countertop, chuckling. "And I love it! You don't know how easy I have it, Uncle Robby! I never have to do anything that I don't want to!"
Roberto was less angry at CJ for keeping his secret that he was impressed that he had kept it for so long.
"I have obviously underestimated you, CJ. I'm sorry."
"You're fine… but can we play pirates, now?"
"...What? Still?"
"Yeah! I love playing pirates!"
"Uhhh…" he said, looking for words. "Aren't you supposed to be smart though? Like, not play kids games?"
"Oh, Uncle Robby… I'm ALWAYS up for a game of pirates. Let's go!"
The Ocean, 1700 Something…
On the far shores of a small island in the middle of the Bodega Sea, a pirate ship sat, bobbing in rhythm with the waves under it. The SS Casagrande used to be the top ship of the British Royal Navy, but after it's capture, it became the most feared pirate vessel on the seven seas!
Onboard, crewmen scampered to and from, working on various tasks. It was no wonder they acted so diligently; Captain CJ was one of the most feared pirates of all history. Legend has it that if you so much as tripped over your own feet, he would throw you overboard in a chest as big as a Great Dane! They might be big, but try thinking that when you're crammed into one...
Speak of the devil, and you shall receive. Captain CJ came out and walked the deck, hands behind his back. The crew immediately stood at position and saluted the captain.
"Arrrgh, me mateys! Has the treasure been found yet?!"
"Negative, captain," a crew member said, refusing eye contact. "The treasure has yet to be located!"
"Ugh, seriously? It's been what, three days on this island? I could literally walk around it in ten minutes!"
"Well, yes captain, but the treasure is said to be well buried. It might be a while before we discover its location."
"Well, hurry on with it, then!" the captain said as he headed towards the stern of the ship. "Our rations are beginning to rot! You men want your share of rum, don't you?"
A loud cry rose from the crew as the captain stood at the sterns edge. The ocean water glistened as birds chirped to each-
"SQUAWK! Hey, whats happening, Ceeg?"
"-sigh- Nothing, Sergio…"
"Really, looks like you're playing pirates to me!"
"Ok, first of all, we aren't playing," CJ said as he shooed the bird off his shoulder. "Second, why do you care?"
"Oh, I don't… just figured you would want to be warned about that Navy ship over yonder!"
"A Navy WHAT?!" He yelled, turning and looking through his telescope. He scanned the horizon, and sure enough…
"Oh, Neptune… it's the H.M.S Santiago…" he said meekly, admiring the best ship in the Navy's fleet. It was captained by one of the most feared pirate haters of all time, Captain Roberto! Legend had it that any pirate he caught was given a one-way ticket to Davy Jones Locker!
"Well, looks like you're in trouble! SQUAWK!"
With that, the bird casually flew away as CJ raised the battle cry.
"ENEMY SHIP! PREPARE FOR COMBAT!"
The crew scurried to position, and the fight was on. The Casagrande ventured over to the Navy ship. Cannons fired and tore through the hulls of both ships, with gunfire and the smell of gunpowder filling the air. At last, the pirates swung over to the Santiago, swords drawn and ready for violent, bloody combat!
Captain CJ drew his sword as he faced the rival captain, arms prepared for a battle.
"Are you ready to meet your maker, Santiago?!"
"CJ, this shirt is so HOT!" Captain Santiago cried, pulling the frilly shirt's collar away from his neck. "Do I really have to wear it?"
"Uhhh, yes?! That's an official sea captain outfit right there!"
"Well yeah, but I mean it's what, 80 degrees out? Can't I just-"
"No more complaints, scallywag!" he said, inching closer. "Any last words?"
"Yeah," Roberto said, drawing his sword. "Hasta la vista, baby!"
"What? No! That's the Terminator!"
"Oh, really? I thought it was Pirates of the Caribbean…"
"Oh, my god… Care-ih-Bee-an! NOT Care-rib-bee-an! No, you know what? Enjoy that, cause that's the last time you say that, Uncle Robby! YAAAAH!"
The swords clashed, and the two most feared captains in all the world were finally off to combat. They traveled all across the ship, knocking over many rations in the process…
"My soup can tower! Ohh, you're paying for that, ya little-!"
The battles around them ceased as the captains continued to fight. Eventually, they made their way to the front of the ship, where the door to the captains quarters opened.
"CJ?! Roberto?! What in Gods name are you-?!"
"Not now, First Mate Hector!" Roberto yelled, swinging his sword wildly. "We're dueling!"
"Oh, not in my bodega you are not! Clean this up right- aaaand they're gone. Great…"
The battle continued for what seemed like days, even weeks. The captains continued to battle, even as they walked up the stairs towards the poop deck of the ship.
"Surrender, Captain CJ, or I shall have you walk the plank!"
"What? No! You're the Navy, you don't make people walk the plank!"
"I don't? Errr… well, then I'll have ye KEEL HAULED!"
"Again, the Navy doesn't do that…"
"OK, genius, what exactly does the navy do then?!"
"THEY DUEL!"
On the roof of the Casagrnde apartments, Roberto and CJ clashed swords, each oblivious to where they were or what they were even doing at that point. Roberto swung his plastic sword with wild abandon, a goofy grin plastered on his face.
As the two captains continued to fight, two construction workers sat on the air vent, eating their lunch sandwiches.
"Geez, Bill…"
"What, Frank?"
"That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen…"
Bill put his hand to his mouth, surveying the two battling. After a minute, he took a bite out of his sandwich and replied.
"Hmph. So it would seem…"