A/N: This is my first attempt at Fanfiction. I woke up with the idea in my head after inhaling so much DWP/Mirandy fanfic. This is not beta'd. All mistakes are my own.
Disclaimer: I do now own any of the Characters belonging to The Devil Wears Prada. These are owned by Lauren Weisberger and 20th Century Fox.
Summary: Andy leaves Paris with final words for Miranda.
A/N 2: I have spent some time since my last update editing this story in the hopes it would coax my muse from hibernation. There are no major changes to the storyline/plot.
xxxxxxxxxx
Chapter Four:
Miranda found she couldn't stop staring at the beautiful brunette sat opposite her, the genuine smile gracing her face hadn't disappeared since she first spotted her Andréa across the room. She was however confused. Why was she here? What had made her come back to New York? Where was she staying? What were her plans? What did she mean by following her heart? She had so many questions needing answers and didn't know where to start.
"I can see the wheels turning, just breathe and relax and let's eat. I'm starving!" Andréa told her.
Rolling her eyes at the brunette she caught the attention of the waiter, signalling him over. "Well, I know what I'm having. How about you three?" Miranda queried.
"Wollensky's Burger for me," Cassidy said.
"Me too…" Caroline confirmed
Everyone looked at Andréa who bit her lip as she decided. "The Cajun Rib Steak for me, living off a mainly vegetarian diet for three months has me craving red meat."
Miranda nodded her approval. "Would you like wine?" she asked nervously.
"Wine sounds good. Whatever you recommend." Andréa responded casually as she looked down at the table in an attempt not to stare at the editor opposite her.
After finalising the food order and ordering two glasses of red wine, the waiter disappeared.
The twins looked at the two women and smiled at them. "Isn't this…" Cassidy began."…brilliant?" Caroline ended the question.
"Yes, yes this is quite acceptable," Miranda stated.
Andy looked up at Miranda and snorted, she giggled uncontrollably causing Miranda to quirk her eyebrow at her.
"And what's so funny Andréa?" Miranda asked, her lips twitching again with a smile.
"Nothing, I just...it must be the jet lag."
"When did you arrive?" Miranda asked softly.
"This morning, early," Andy confirmed
"Mm. I'm glad you are here." Miranda confirmed.
Andy noticed a blush forming on the editor's neck and leaned forward whispering, "I missed you." She winked at the silver-haired woman opposite causing the blush to spread to her cheeks.
"We'll talk later," Miranda stated.
Miranda's initial nervousness passed quickly as lunch arrived and they ate. Miranda sat with a second glass of wine, entranced as Andy regaled the twins with stories of her travels. The twins were more than amazed at Andy's experiences with the Elephants and had lots of questions for her. She answered each of them patiently and with a passion that Miranda had forgotten she possessed.
She was amazed at how easily Andréa interacted with her girls, and how fond the girls obviously were of her Andréa.
After lunch was finished, and they were exiting the restaurant Miranda was amazed to find hours had passed. It was now mid-afternoon, and she had no idea what would happen with the rest of her day.
Roy was waiting patiently for them but as she moved to the car, the twins grabbed a hand on each side of her.
"Can we go to get ice cream?" Cassidy asked with a smile.
"Don't you think it's a bit cold for that Bobbsey?" Miranda queried as she noticed snow had fallen. Cassidy looked crestfallen. Pulling her coat closer around her neck Miranda looked down at the twins and then to Andréa. Gently she continued her train of thought. "We could go home and drink hot chocolate, eat popcorn and watch movies. And then later we can order dinner. Does that sound suitable?"
"Sounds great mom," Caroline said shooting her twin a look.
Cassidy readily agreed to the plan. "That sounds so much better."
"Would you like to join us Andréa?" Miranda asked her softly.
Looking at Miranda and the twins Andy replied. "Only if you're sure."
Raising her eyebrow again she asked, "When have you known me to make offers I don't mean?"
"Never," Andy responded quickly. "Of course, I'd love to join you." She clarified.
She was stunned at the blinding smile she received from the editor.
"It will give us that chance to talk," Miranda told her.
"Yes, Miranda," Andy replied.
xxxxxxxxxx
When they arrived at the Townhouse Andy exited the car quickly holding her hand out to assist Miranda. As Miranda stepped out of the car, she squeezed the hand in hers gently before letting go to open the door.
Upon entering the Townhouse Andy felt every memory of her previous visits while delivering the book hit her at once. She remembered clearly the night she walked up the stairs to interrupt Miranda and Stephen's argument and blushed furiously. From that night she learned just how inherently private Miranda was about her home life. She found her hand grasped and squeezed again gently, it seemed as if Miranda understood what was going through her mind.
The twins shrugged out of their coats and stormed upstairs bickering among themselves about movie choices.
'Let me take your coat Andréa." Miranda requested. Letting go of the hand she shook her coat off and passed it over. Miranda placed it on a hanger in the closet and turned to her guest. "Would you like a drink? More wine perhaps?" Miranda asked.
"Water would be great or that hot chocolate you promised," Andy replied cheekily with a smile. Miranda nodded once and cocked her head indicating for Andy to follow her down the hallway and into the kitchen.
The kitchen was large and warm. Andy sat down on a high stool at the breakfast bar as Miranda opened the fridge to grab some Pellegrino, juice for the twins and milk. She moved gracefully to the pantry to grab the popcorn she'd promised her girls and the marshmallows, sugar, cocoa, and salt needed for the hot chocolate. Once she had everything needed, she laid out on the kitchen counters she moved back towards the breakfast bar.
Sitting opposite the young woman Miranda spoke nervously; "May I ask you something...well a few things actually?"
"Anything," Andy responded. "You can ask me anything and I will answer as honestly as I can." she clarified.
Miranda looked at her, Andréa looked tired and drawn, and her clothes were oversized and comfortable. "When I asked why you are here you mentioned following your heart but I need you to tell me why you came home?"
"I was emailing the twins, as you are aware. Before you stopped emailing, I asked them what it was that you thought was impossible for them to have from their Christmas lists, I imagined I may be able to help. They didn't want to tell me but after your emails stopped, I kept pushing for an answer. Cass eventually told me they asked you to bring me home and since I don't seem to be able to deny the three Priestly women anything, here I am."
"And the following your heart comment?" Miranda queried.
"Well, my heart seems to belong with those two imps upstairs and…" Andy stopped speaking and closed her eyes. "...I told you in that last emails I needed to find the courage to follow my heart, I did that but somehow didn't realise I would need the even more courage to speak it. I assumed I'd have more time,"
"Please tell me." Miranda requested.
Closing her eyes Andy fought the tears forming. "My heart belongs here with you Miranda. You are the first thing that crosses my mind t in the morning and my last thought at night. My world starts and ends with you and it has for such a long time...and I didn't realise until I walked away in Paris and then there was just this huge sense of loss from leaving you…but..."
Miranda closed her eyes at the words the young woman was saying. Her heart beating furiously in her chest. She held onto the breakfast bar to stop herself from fleeing, she needed to hear the words Andréa was speaking even if they ended up breaking her heart.
"...I don't really understand how you feel about me, I accept you care and that we started this friendship but I can't help but want…more, which is stupid. I assume you're straight...I mean you've been married twice...but that was the same for me...until you! I have never questioned who I am at such length, but I cannot hide anymore, I can't continue to run away…I'm sorry…"
Miranda marvelled at Andréa's bravery.
"And I recognise that however unlikely, even if you considered this, you're in the middle of a divorce from...and there are your girls to consider. Then there's the age difference, which I don't care about, and there's the fact that because of what you do people recognise who you are the press would have a field-day. I realise right now you're probably questioning my sanity and I don't blame you...I should just leave..." As Andy finished speaking and turned to walk away the tears flowed.
"No...You said...Don't leave." Miranda trailed off. "Are you aware I panicked when you walked away from me in Paris, Andréa?" Miranda queried softly.
Miranda's words stopped her in her tracks. Andy turned back around to face her and noticed the tears in the editor's eyes. "Nigel might have mentioned it that night in Paris when I asked him to give you that first letter, but you appreciate how prone to exaggeration he is…I had hoped, but...well, with everything that went on I didn't dare believe you would actually consider anything akin to what I was." Andy told her.
"Yes well...that man sees far too much into things, he has an uncanny ability to see beyond what others would." Miranda sighed. As they gazed into each other's eyes Miranda fidgeted, something she didn't normally do.
Andy wiped the tears from her eyes. "Do you want me to do the hot chocolate before the twin terrors arrive down demanding sustenance?" She asked.
"I'll do it," Miranda stated. "I'm just...overwhelmed. I can't believe you are here and I have so many questions and don't know where to start or how to…"
"We have all the time in the world Miranda, but there are things to arrange. Somewhere to live is foremost. I booked a hotel this morning so I could attempt to sleep but that didn't work too well. I ended up walking through Central Park, which is where the twins saw me and demanded I come to lunch." Andy smiled at the remembrance.
"So if the lunch offer wasn't forthcoming or if my terrors hadn't seen you when would you have advised me you were here?" Miranda demanded.
"Probably Christmas Day...I was meant to be a surprise for those little imps after all." Andy replied.
"Mm well, that would be three days wasted. Will you stay? I don't think I could cope with having you leave again so soon, even knowing you are once again in the same city." Another tear slid down Miranda's face. Looking down to hide her vulnerability she missed the movement and before she realised Andy had cupped her face in her hands and was wiping away the tears with the pads of her thumbs. Then she was being pulled close to the brunette in a tight hug. Wrapping her arms around the brunette's waist she realised they fit together perfectly
Relaxing into the embrace she welcomed the shiver down her spine at Andréa's whispered words. "Miranda I have told you I will never leave you. If you want me here, then I will happily stay for as long as you want me."
Miranda sighed and Andy heard the faint whisper in return. "Forever."
They held onto each other until they heard a small cough coming from the doorway. Releasing themselves from the embrace Miranda smirked at the child stood in the doorway and raised her eyebrow in a silent question at Cassidy.
"Hey mom, hey Andy, the movies ready to go. Are you going to be much longer or are you going to hug it out all night?"
Andy flushed bright red and attempted to suppress her laughter as Miranda shooed her daughter out of the kitchen with a glare. She moved away from Andréa to put the popcorn in the microwave and placed the milk into a saucepan to heat. While waiting for the milk to warm Andy watched as Miranda pulled out a large bowl and whisked together the combination of sugar, cocoa, and salt. She mixed 10 tablespoons of her chocolate mix into the warm milk allowing it to dissolve before pouring the hot chocolate into mugs and adding the marshmallows. She offered the bowl of popcorn to Andy and placed the mugs, juice and water on a tray and looked towards Andy.
"Are you ready?" Miranda chuckled.
"You have no idea," Andy said as she followed Miranda upstairs into the living room.
xxxxxxxxxx
The girls had made themselves comfortable on beanbags in front of the T.V as they hit play on the DVD Player the Simpson Movie played. As the movie rolled, they laughed at Homer's antics attempting to save Springfield from disaster.
Once the movie ended they discussed dinner options. It was decided that Miranda would order a pizza and upon delivery, they made their way back to the kitchen to eat. The atmosphere was relaxed, and the twins chatted happily.
After dinner, they returned to the living room and to what had become their spots. Cassidy placed Hairspray in the DVD Player and hit play. The girls fell asleep as the movie rolled on in the background.
Miranda looked at her girls and smiled before glancing at Andy who she noticed was deep in thought. "What are you thinking about?" She asked the brunette.
"Nothing much, I'm just tired. It's like this is the first time I've stopped and let myself relax and be calm in such a long time."
"I'm glad you are relaxed here Andréa. But I think there's a lot more going on in that head of yours that you may or may not want to discuss." Miranda said.
"So maybe we should continue that talk," Andy stated.
Miranda sighed. "Not yet, let's get the twins to bed first and then we can talk."
They woke the girls who sleepily made their way to their bedrooms and got into their pyjamas.
Upon entering Caroline's room Miranda found her asleep on the bed, lifting her up she positioned her against the pillows and tucked her in with a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room. Cassidy was awake and talking quietly to Andy when Miranda entered the room. Both of them looked towards the door and smiled happily as she walked towards them.
"Time for sleep now Bobbsey," Miranda told her.
"Okay," Cassidy replied. "Will Andy be here tomorrow?"
"If she wants to be, yes." Miranda looked towards Andy for confirmation.
"I'll be here, but I must leave to grab clothes at some stage," Andy told the young girl.
"Yay! Hopefully, mom will make pancakes for breakfast. She's the best at them."
"We'll see Bobbsey." Miranda tucked the girl in and kissed her forehead before whispering, "Goodnight my darling."
"Night Cass, Sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite." Andy grinned at the young girl.
Miranda held her hand out for Andy and pulled her from the room. They made their way back to the living room and Miranda picked up the glasses and mugs. "Let me help." Andy requested.
Miranda smiled as she replied. "There's no need, I just need to put these in the dishwasher. Cara's off for the next few days and I wouldn't want to have her comeback to an excessive mess. Would you like another drink?"
"Only if you're having one," Andy replied.
"Well it's too late for coffee, does a glass of wine sound acceptable?
"Sounds heavenly," Andy responded with a smile.
As they made the way into the kitchen again Miranda pointed to the wine rack as she stacked the dishwasher. Grabbing two crystal glasses and an open bottle of Sauvignon Blanc Andy poured two glasses and placed one of them beside the editor.
Andy sat down at the breakfast bar again and watched Miranda intently. Taking a large drink of her wine she found the courage to speak to the editor's back. "Did you receive my last letter?" Andy asked.
"I received it today, and the girls brought it to me when they met me for lunch...It's in my purse. I was going to read it this afternoon however you were there at the restaurant and…" Miranda tried to explain.
"I think you should read it before we continue this discussion, Miranda. There are things I've said in there that you need to understand." Andy told her
"Like what?" Miranda queried.
"Please just read it. Then we will talk, all night if that's what you need." Andy gave her a sad smile.
"If you insist. I'll be in the study" Miranda picked up her wine and stalked from the room. She grabbed the letter from her purse and walked to her study. She sat at her desk heavily staring at the letter in her hands as if it was a venomous snake about to strike. Biting her lip she slipped her letter opener through the top of the envelope, took the letter out and read.
xxxxxxxxxx
December 15, 2007
Dear Miranda
As I've sat alone, pondering on where I've gone wrong, the world has turned dark and I'm no longer able to see it in all its glory. I made plans to move on to Australia, even as far as applying for the visa I needed, but then your email arrived last night and now I don't know.
My judgement isn't what it should be and I'm struggling to decide what to do.
I miss New York, it is my home, and part of me wants to return but I don't know what I have to return to. I don't know if the three features I have written for Rolling Stone will give me enough experience to continue freelancing. You've offered your home to me but for how long?
You offered me excuses for the silence but no real explanations. I thought by writing to each other and forming a non-professional relationship we could get past that. As your assistant and inferior I was never in a position to demand them, but you said I am your equal but if you actually believed that I think you would realise that I deserve better than the poor justifications you have offered.
Tell me why? Do I mean so little to you that you can just ignore me on a whim?
Your distance has made me look at things in a different light and I have been left wondering what kind of relationship you really want from me. Are we to become friends? I can deal with just friendship but I know there will be times I won't be able to be near you because I'll want more. I wouldn't be able to stand by and watch you love someone else.
In that three weeks between your emails, I tried not to lose the hope I held that I still had one person in the world, and in my life that still cares about me. I have been trying to believe the lack of contact is not due to having something inherently wrong with me that disgusts everyone that comes into my life. But it's hard not to think that way sometimes. It's difficult not to sit back and wonder if the reason everyone leaves is due to me lacking something necessary.
You say I am special, that I am irreplaceable, that I am unique (there's only one of me after all) but your actions of the last three weeks tell me otherwise, they tell me that whatever relationship we are building potentially means more to me than it obviously does to you.
You say you have found love is elusive. Just like Emily you are also blind to so much.
If you only opened your eyes, Miranda you would see you are in fact loved, and not for your position or your wealth but for the woman you are, the passion you have, the strength of your character, your protective nature and the vulnerability you try so hard to hide.
I know you are frightened of more than you show the world Miranda, but please understand you have nothing to fear from me. I would never intentionally hurt you.
I know I am not perfect. I let your dismissal of me in that Parisian hotel room throw me into someone else's arms, but in that final moment with him I thought of you, wishing it was you there inside me. I called out for you! I have never experienced so much self-loathing than in that moment.
I love you, Miranda. I love you in the knowledge I have nothing to offer you except my heart. You are the one with the ability to make my heart smile and my soul sing but I also appreciate you could just as easily crush both.
I apologise for dumping all this on you. Since Paris, it's like I spend half of the time with the entire world sat on my chest. I struggle to breathe, to focus and to know anything but despair...and then I think of you and my heart soars and I feel so much.
I know I need more time to work out the things going on in my head because I'm so confused. My heart and my head are at war and I don't know which one will be victorious.
A
xxxxxxxxxx
Miranda felt the tears streaming down her face, once again she was overwhelmed with the feelings the young brunette caused in her, she had never been this emotional before and she was fearful.
Deep down she realised she had an immense distance to cross to show Andréa just how much she loved her. She was hurt that the young woman hadn't yet realised the depth of her feelings towards her but was aware of her faults, she hadn't actually explained what was in her heart. Her shoulders sagged as she gave into her emotions. She recognised she would need all her strength to speak for her heart.
Andy watched Miranda from the doorway as she became overcome with emotion. She walked across the room silently and knelt before the editor, placing her hands on her thighs to get her attention. "Miranda?" She whispered. "Talk to me sweetheart, tell me what's on your mind?"
Miranda looked up into the eyes that haunted her dreams and cupped Andy's cheek in her palm. "I don't have the words…" Miranda stuttered. "...you'll want to leave again…" She shuddered at that thought.
"No Miranda!" Andy declared hotly. "I will not leave you. I came back for you. Can't you see? My heart won! I can't explain the connection between us. I gravitate towards you, Miranda. How can you not see that? I felt the distance over the last few months but it was always as though there was a force pulling me toward you and the closer we are, the more powerfully I feel it."
Miranda looked up at her, resolved to share everything with Andréa. The love, care, tenderness, warmth, passion, desire and devotion. "I feel it too Andréa, the longing, desire, the determination to have you. It has pulled my soul in a direction I couldn't help but move toward. You are the Moon to my Sun Andréa. Just like the Sun I have a tendency to burn. I'm aware my view might seem surprising, considering that the Moon revolves around the Earth but do you know the Moon always has a positive acceleration toward the Sun? The Earth's moon is the only moon in the solar system that is always falling toward the Sun."
Andy was surprised at Miranda's words. Placing her hand under Miranda's chin, tilting her face upwards she searched the blue eyes. She saw the love and tenderness shining through the tears. "I didn't realise…"
'You make me feel so much...the last month has been a nightmare. I distanced myself because I was scared. I was trying to protect my heart." Miranda explained
"I will keep your heart safe, Miranda," Andy told her. "But right now I want to kiss you,"
Miranda answered with a smile. "Kiss me then, you know how much I love to be kept waiting."
The genuine smile made Andy's heart flutter, and she couldn't help but return it with a wide one of her own. Andy leaned towards the older woman and pulling her closer brushed her lips against Miranda's gently.
"Andréa…" Miranda whispered breathlessly. Andréa's lips were warm and soft beneath her own. She deepened the kiss, hands tangling into the chestnut hair as her waist was circled by Andréa's arms. A jolt of pleasure ran through her as she was pulled closer to Andréa who was returning her kiss with just as much passion.
Both hearts were pounding rapidly. Miranda ran her tongue over Andréa's bottom lip softly and slowly, and as her lips parted their tongues entwined.
The need to breathe had Andréa pulling away from Miranda panting hard. She couldn't catch her breath. She stared at Miranda for a moment.
"I… we...Miranda…What are you doing to me?" she asked quietly. 'My God...that was..." Andy struggled for words as Miranda smirked at her.
"Andréa..." The sound of her name sent a quiver of need throughout her body and she heard herself whimper slightly, "...That was divine." As Miranda laughed, she found her lips captured again. Moaning into her mouth as their tongues grappled for dominance. Miranda's legs parted instinctively allowing Andréa to come closer and her legs wrapped themselves around the kneeling brunette.
xxxxxxxxxx