A/N: OMGOSH GUYS! I am so sorry it took so long to update! WRITER'S BLOCK SUUUUUCKS! BUT HEY WHO MISSED THIS?! The story's far from over. So let's get to it...
We have an update…
There's some improvement but not much…
Time will tell…
Helga felt her head swim around in the void, taking comfort in the vain existence of darkness as thoughts and feelings about everything that transpired to make her life a living he** were ultimately silenced. Usually to gain such a privilege, it would take killing a whole bottle of vodka or a few glasses of Gin to start the numbing process, but here…in wherever she floated, she felt like she could grasp peace at last.
Until she suddenly snapped out of it, coughing violently due to a bucket of cold water being thrown onto her head.
"Hah! See? I told you that it would work!" Little Phil folded his arms pridefully as he threw the now empty mop bucket to the side.
His little sister shook her head. "I still think it was a bad idea to cover mommy in all that water! What if she can't swim?"
"Stupid! She's not compwetely in the water! You have to be compwetely in the water to dwown and die doi!" Phil glared.
"Nu-uh!" Halenie argued.
"Yeah huh!" Phil argued back.
As they continued to bicker, Helga finally managed to catch her breath and end her coughing session before shouting, "CRIMINY! WHAT ARE YA TRYIN' TO KILL ME?! I COULD HAVE DROWNED TO DEATH!"
Her shouting startled the little 5 year olds until Hal's eyes lit up. "Hah! See! She said she would have dwowned! So I was wight!"
"Whatever!" Phil pouted.
"That's wight! Whatever I say! And I say, I was wight and you were wong!" Halenie teased cheerfully.
"Well I say you better shut your pie hole before I do it for ya!" Phil threatened while holding up his fist.
Halenie glared at her brother before blinking in innocent confusion. "Hey that's mean! Wait…What's a pie hole?"
"Doi! It's your mouth stupid!" Phil rolled his eyes.
"I'm not stupid! Stop calling me that!" Halenie shouted, trying not to cry.
"You are stupid! Look you're about to cwy again!" Phil teased.
"Am not!" She sniffed.
"Are too!" He smirked.
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE FU** UP ALREADY?!" Helga shouted automatically, holding her head as if that was the solution needed to ease her migraine.
The kids immediately silenced their bickering as their eyes widened, letting out a collective gasp. "Ummmmmm! You said a bad word!"
Helga blinked at them.
"Hah! Mommy said a bad word! That means she's gotta sit in the corner without dessert!" Phil teased.
"Wait a minute…nu-uh, no she doesn't. Gwandma says that only adults are allowed to say that stuff and that we're the ones who get in twouble if we say that stuff. So mommy doesn't have to sit in the corner…" Halenie explained thoughtfully.
"Man no fair! Why do adults get to have all the fun?!" Phil pouted while folding his arms.
"Aw don't be silly, silly! We have lots of fun too! We get to have more snack times, and nap times, and play lots of games as much as we want! We're not always busy like grownups are! Just wook on the bwightside!" Hal said brightly, not noticing her mother freeze up at her words.
"Why do you always have to look on the brightside?"
"Somebody has to…"
Feeling her eyes suddenly tear up, Helga then shook her head vigorously, desperate to remove the memory of her husband from her mind. It was worse enough fighting off the random and constant recollections of Arnold that would pop up in her mind to torment her. It was hard enough staying in the house that they bought together, living in the city that they grew up in together, as well as the friends they've always had…She wanted to leave so many times, but something always stopped her. But now that her offspring was officially dumped in her care and supposedly both kids would be staying with her from now on, she'd just have to deal with those recurring torturous thoughts…
Every day…
For gosh knows how long…
Like he** she would.
Helga then clapped her hands together. "OKAY! Enough's enough little buckos. This reunion's been a real slice and all…Now tell me when exactly you guys are going home."
"What are ya deaf or something? We told you, this IS our home now." Phil folded his arms.
"Yeah mommy, gwandma and gwandpa said we can stay with you from now on." Hal smiled.
"Well I sure as heck didn't give the okay!" Helga scowled, and then face palmed. "Ugh criminy of all the-wait a minute…" She paused and blinked. "H-how did you even GET here in the first place?!"
"Gwandma and Gwandpa dwopped us off this morning doi!" Phil replied with a silly face, making his sister giggle at his antics.
His mother was not amused, but before she could protest, a thought crossed her mind.
"W-wait a minute. If you two were here all this time, then who was watching you when I was gone?!" She demanded, surprised at sudden protective, concern like tone that barely made its way through her harsh sounding voice.
"Oh don't worry mommy, Gweat Gwandma was watching us." Hal explained.
Helga raised an eyebrow. "Gertie?"
"Yeah! She saw her shadow a few days ago so she's dwessed like Santa Clause to celebwate the next 12 days of Chwistmas, but before leaving to give out pwesents, she said she would watch us until you got home." Hal explained cheerfully.
"Yeah, she should be leaving wight now on her sleigh actually!" Phil said with a smile as he and Hal suddenly ran out the front door.
Confused, Helga followed them only to see them waving happily at an old woman dressed like Santa Clause who happily waved at them in return from a bright red sleigh with the terrified boarding house animals apparently dressed as reindeers with bridles, hooked at the end of it.
"Bye Gweat Gwandma!" The kids chorused.
"You kids be good for your mother now ya hear?!" Gertie replied lovingly.
"We will! Pwomise!" They both replied with innocent smiles.
Helga tried to scream in complete and utter bewilderment. "GERTIE?! WHAT THE FU-?!"
"-ON DASHER! ON PRANCER! ON DONNER, AND WHAT'S YOUR FACE! MUSH! MUAHAHAHA!" Gertie chortled as she readied the sleigh and took off from on top of Helga's rooftop.
Dumbfounded, Helga continued to stare at her roof, unable to move from her frozen state as she finally realized that whatever was happening, was actually…happening.
She then felt a tugging on her ripped jeans and constant tapping on her leg.
"Um mommy? I have a question…" Hal started shyly as she continued to tug on her mother's pants.
"Yeah me too. How do we find our rooms in this dump?" Phil asked as he continued to tap on his mother's leg.
"Are you happy to see us?" Hal continued.
"Is it still upstairs? Cause I saw a bunch of baby stuff! Where's my cool room?" Phil continued.
"Why did you go away for a long time?" Hal asked sadly.
"I can't sleep in some dumb old baby's bed. Where's my cool bed?!" Phil pressed.
"W-we missed you a lot! D-did you miss us?" Hal asked hopefully.
"You're gonna buy me a new bed wight?" A cool one wight?" Phil pressed.
"Can you tell us about daddy?"
"Yeah! Was he cool like me?!" Phil asked with excitement.
"Was he weally nice? What did he wook wike?" Hal added.
"Bet he was big and stwong and bwave and wasn't a cwybaby like weirdie-head girl here." Phil quipped.
"Stop calling me that!" Hal exclaimed, clearly offended.
"Stop being a weirdie-head cwy baby then!" Phil quipped once more.
"Hey! I haven't cwied once since I got here! I-I'm a big girl! Gwandma said so!" Hal tried to retort in a stern voice, but faltered.
"Pwease. You cwied a few minutes ago…" He deadpanned.
"Did not!" Hal exclaimed.
"Yeah? Then why were your eyes all wet?" Phil smirked.
"I…I-I had to yawn!" Hal defended.
"I didn't see you yawn." Phil scoffed.
"…It was an invisible yawn…" She finished in a lame and quiet voice.
"There's no such thing as an invisible yawn doi!" Phil rolled his eyes.
"Y-you don't know that!" Hal quipped.
"Do too!" Phil retorted.
"Nu-uh! Tell him momm-"
"QUIET! CRIMINY! MY EARS ARE GOING TO BLEED TO DEATH IF YOU CHUCKLEHEADS DON'T SHUT YOUR TRAPS!" Helga shouted, rendering her children silence once more.
While Philip blinked, Hal started to breathe in and out at a fast pace as if she was hyperventilating while covering her eyes. Helga blinked in confusion and slight concern at her antics. "Um...what's wrong with her?"
"Nothin' she just does that to stop herself from cwying. She's twyin' to act all bwave and stuff." Phil rolled her eyes.
"I- am bwave. I won't cwy." Hal quipped in short breaths.
Helga instantly calmed down and couldn't help but marvel at the little girl's tenacity. It was clear that her feelings were hurt, but she refused to let it show. She was really trying. The way that her brother teased her so effortlessly suggested that maybe it was an ongoing phenomenon that forced her to be strong.
That sounded familiar.
But rather than lash out at him with fists, snarls, and anger, the little girl continued to breathe in and out whispering to herself until she felt calm again and bravely looked her brother in the eye with a little smirk.
"See! I'm fine." She declared and folded her arms proudly.
"Sure ya are." Phil rolled his eyes once more, but his mother noticed that he was trying to hide the smile that threatened to break through his scowl.
She seemed weak and breakable, but Helga could tell that Halenie Shortman was indeed her daughter, and even more so was the direct descendant of Arnold Shortman.
Just by the looks of it, Helga could already see that she was and would grow up to be a bold kid.
A very bold kid.
Just like her beloved…
A sharp pang pierced through Helga's heart once more as memories started to come back up. That seemed to be happening much more frequently than before with those dang kids around: especially Halenie.
"This is too much…Th-this is just TOO DA**MUCH!" Helga muttered as she pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head.
"I need a drink…"
"Just one drink…"
"Just a little pick me up to help me make sense of this whole…I don't even know WHAT to call this!"
"I just need relief…"
"For only a moment…"
Helga thought as her eyes drifted towards the forbidden cupboard…She quickly snapped out of it, shaking her head vigorously.
"COME ON! Helga. Pull yourself together! You're STRONGER than this CRIMINY!"
The quiet, calm voice of her daughter puller her out of her thoughts.
"Mommy? Are you ok?" Hal asked quietly while putting a hand on her shoulder.
"Yeah what's wong with you?" Phil added, putting a hand to her forehead.
"I'M-!" she started in a loud voice, making them both flinch, but immediately went silent, inhaling and exhaling a long breath in an attempt to calm down before continuing, "I-I'm fine. Look…j-just…go play or somethin' okay?" she waved them off, walking away.
"Kay…Wanna play with us mommy?" Hal asked with a hopeful smile.
"Yeah why not. I mean ya did kinda okay with hide-and-seek and stuff." Phil added.
"No. I do not." Helga replied through grit teeth.
"But why? We can have so much fun!" Hal and Phil whined in unison.
Helga was about to round on them, when she saw their adorable, pouty faces, clearly showing their disappointment yet hopefulness that she would change her mind.
She hesitated.
"Because…B-because…"
Suddenly the doorbell rang. She quickly looked through the peephole and immediately brightened before continuing.
"Because…Auntie Phoebe and her kid is here to play with you instead!" Helga exclaimed with a nervous smile.
"Auntie Phoebe's here?!" Hal started.
"Which means…" Phil added.
"JODI'S HERE!" They finished with excitement.
The twins quickly rushed past their mother and got the door to reveal Phoebe and her five year old daughter, Jodi Johanssen.
"HI AUNTIE PHOEBE! HI JODI!" The twins greeted.
"Konichiwa to you too little Philip, Halenie!" Phoebe greeted cheerfully, giving them a hug.
"Yeah, what's up guys?" Jodi greeted behind her mother as she gave them a small wave and a cool smile.
"Boy am I glad to see you! I was DYIN' of boredom in this dump!" Phil exclaimed dramatically grabbing Jodi's hand.
"You have to come see our new house! It's so cool! And we gotta tell you all about our mommy! She's a little loud, but weally cool too!" Hal exclaimed grabbing Jodi's other hand as the twins pulled her along into the other room leaving her mother alone with Phoebe.
As soon as the twins were out of sight, Phoebe gulped as she turned to see her best friend scowl, tap her foot impatiently, and let a growl free from her throat.
"Um, heheh, salutations Helga! I-it has been a while." Phoebe greeted nervously.
"I'm guessin' you know about all this?" Helga asked, though it was more of a statement, and her expression never wavered.
"I-I cannot say that I was unaware a-about these current events…" Phoebe uttered meekly.
"You. Me. Kitchen. Now." Helga glared.
Phoebe gulped once more.
CRIMINY! WHAT THE HE** ARE YOU ALL TRYIN' TO PULL?!" Helga growled and nearly shouted as she slammed her hands on the kitchen table.
"Helga! Please! There are kids here! I would appreciate if you mind your language!" Phoebe interjected sternly.
Helga almost blinked at the assertiveness from her best friend, but did not back down. "ONE minute, I'm having a shi-er-crappy day at work with worthless idiots who can't do SH-CRAP for me, and the NEXT thing I know I run into BRAINIAC who's actin all cryptic and shi-gah crap and JUST when I'm MINDIN' my own BEESWAX, I come home to find a little FOOTBALL-HEAD on my LIVING ROOM COUCH, followed by ANOTHER FOOTBALL-HEAD that when put together can't SHUT UP! And THAT's not the KICKER of the situation Pheebs! NO the kicker of it all, DESPITE the fact that GERTIE was on my ROOFTOP in a SLEIGH is that these football-heads are STUCK with me! When I CLEARLY was the one who emphasized the importance of them BEING AWAY FROM ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!" She finished in a shout.
Meanwhile, upstairs in the other room…
All three kids were happily playing catch with Jodi's ball that she brought over, when they suddenly heard the frantic and angry shouting from downstairs.
"Um…S-so I'm guessing that's y-your mom?" Jodi asked nervously.
"Yep that's our mommy!" Hal answered cheerfully.
"She-uh…Sh-she seems nice." Jodi tried to be polite, wincing at the sound of bad words that were always forbidden for her to use.
"Oh please, she's compwetely cwazy! And loud! Cwiminy! She's even worse than those dumb old dump twucks that sound weally loud in the mornings when they pick up the twash!" Phil rolled his eyes.
"Philie, that's not vewy nice to say." His sister reprimanded.
"No, ya know what's not nice? She gets to say all the gwown up words she wants but when I twied to say it one time, I got stuck in a corner for a jillion hours without dessert! How unfair is that?!" Phil protested.
"You're actin' like that's your first time in the time-out corner. I mean with as many times you end up there, usually after being so mean to Hal all the time, I would have thought that you'd be used to it by now." Jodi quipped.
"Who asked you?!" Phil glared.
Jodi shrugged coolly. "Just sayin' man, if you were nicer to Halie here, you wouldn't be in so much trouble all the time. Mm mm mm. I mean the way you bully her is simply appalling." Jodi shook her head.
"What's an appawing?" The twins asked in unison.
"Oh sorry. I'm using big words again. My mommy's been reading me the dictionary again at night before bed time, so…it kind of sticks with me…" Jodi smiled sheepishly.
"That's okay! I like heawing big words! Maybe it'll help us get gold stars like you do in school!" Hal smiled.
"Yeah cause evewyone knows you need it! You're dumber than a bwick." Phil taunted.
"Phil!" Jodi glared.
"What?! Tell me I'm wong! She was always quiet, hiding in a corner, talking to the air! It was weird! Why do you think no one wanted to play with her in pweschool?"
Hal was ready to retort, when she suddenly thought about what he said. She quickly got up and ran into the other room, ignoring Jodi who called after her.
"And THAT's why you're always in the corner!" Jodi glared angrily at Phil and got up to run after Halenie. "Halie wait!"
Phil huffed and folded his arms, but then sighed sadly as he bounced the ball by himself.
"Halie? Halie? Where are you?" Jodi continued to look for Halenie down the hallway, when she heard a soft voice in the bedroom.
"I don't understand…Why is he so mean to me?"
"Halie?"
"I know he's not always like that…He-he used to be weally nice to me…and pwotected me…Maybe he still is…He told me once, that he's helping me be stwonger…He's twying to help teach me not to cwy all the time…but it's hard…Oh Mr. Gween Glowy guy…it's so hard…"
Jodi watched her friend sniff lightly and wipe her eyes as she started to breathe in and out at a fast pace until she was calm again.
"Oh well…maybe things will be diffwent now that mommy's here. Maybe she can help me be stwonger!"
Jodi blinked. Though she was only five, she was very intelligent for her age and was used to a world of logic with a splash of imagination. So she'd be lying if she said she wasn't freaked out by her best friend's display. But she didn't want to prove Phil or the other kids that always taunted her right about her weirdness of talking to the air, so she smiled and walked up to her.
"Hey girl, are you okay?" She asked softly.
"Oh hey Jodi…Y-yeah I'm just fine." Hal smiled weakly.
"Hey don't listen to that idiot. He's just bein' a meanie like usual." Jodi put her arm around her.
"I know he acts that way…but sometimes…he can be weally nice…Sometimes." Hal shrugged.
"Mm mm mm. Girl how you always see the good things and smile even when they're bad is beyond me. But whatever you say." Jodi shook her head with a smile.
Before the girls could walk back into the hallway, they saw Phil hesitantly walk into the room with his hands behind his back as he looked down shyly. "Uh hey, Weirdie-head girl…Is um…I mean…A-are you still cwyin and stuff?" He asked his sister quietly with remorse.
The girls blinked, but Hal shook her head and gave him a small smile. "Nope! No cwying here. I'm a big girl wemember? Besides that twick you taught me helped a lot!"
Phil blinked in response. "Oh…so…you're okay and stuff?" He asked sincerely.
"Yup! I'm okay!" Hal giggled.
"W-well…GOOD! 'CAUSE YOU'RE CWYING IS WEALLY ANNOYING YA KNOW! I get sick of heawing it all the time I mean it's about TIME you started to toughen up! Cwiminy! Now come on and let's finish thwowing the ball awound sheesh!" Phil cackled, smirked, and stomped out of the room.
"Whatever you say Philie, whatever you say." Hal gave a little half-lidded smile as they all continued to play.
Meanwhile back downstairs…
"I MEAN CRIMINY! I ASK FOR ONE SIMPLE THING! ONE! IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT I'M STILL TRYIN' TO PIECE MYSELF TOGETEHR FROM ARNOLD'S DEA-…ER…Y-YOU KNOW…EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED, NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN THE FOOTBALL HEADS' SPAWNS ARE BACK IN THE PICTURE?! I-I CAN'T BELIEVE MILES AND STELLA WOULD DO THIS TO ME! AFTER THEY PROMISED TO HONOR OUR AGREEMENT! Helga huffed and puffed anxiously from her rant.
"Are you quite finished?" Phoebe asked simply.
"H-how the heck can you be so calm?! Did you not hear ANYTHING that I said at all?!" Helga asked in disbelief.
"Yes. I heard all of what you had to say Helga. Being that most of it was clearly a result of you feeling sorry for yourself leading to an uncomfortable vulnerability causing you to lash out, especially when such turn of events occurred so suddenly after being placed under tremendous amounts of stress and an improper grieving period, of course it is okay to say that your reaction is normal and expected." Phoebe explained while taking a sip of her tea. She then looked at her friend with sympathy.
"But Helga, you must understand that this is truly for the best. The kids missed you terribly and even though there was a rather large support system for them, it is not the same as having an actual parent around. You of all people should know this. Especially when in their case…they only have one left." Phoebe finished sadly.
"But…I…I-I'M JUST NOT READY FOR THIS PHOEBE! I…I'm just not ready…" Helga frowned sadly.
"You are more prepared than you lead yourself to believe Helga. Besides, were you not the one that has been calling Stella and Miles back and forth, concerned for their wellbeing?" Phoebe smiled.
"Th-that's not the point! They were babies then! I-I had to know…But I had to keep them AWAY from me for a REASON! I mean criminy! It's not like I wanted to be excluded from their lives it's just I wasn't ready to be a mother! I-I'm still not! Not after-"
"-Is it possible that you feel this way as a result of it being guilt from your…addiction? The same one you tried to hide from all of us, and even severed ties with the gang because of it?" Phoebe asked.
Helga went quiet before sighing bitterly. "…Who told you?"
"When you're a physician you pick up a few tell-tale tricks, but even more to the point, I'm your best friend Helga…Even when you stopped contacting me…I still had my ways of seeing how you were doing…I only wished you'd have reached out to us instead of trying to handle the situation all alone…" Phoebe sighed sadly.
"I-I know. But it's okay! I'm better now! I don't have that…problem anymore. It was a phase." Helga reassured.
"Good news to hear I suppose. And I am sure that Stella and Miles would not have considered the opportunity have you not been ready for it which is why I, Gerald, and the entire gang fully support their decision about the kids. They need you Helga. And I can tell that you clearly need them as well…It is what Arnold would have wanted."
"-Phoebe." Helga warned.
"-And you know it." She finished sternly.
Helga went silent and sighed in defeat, scowling.
Phoebe put a hand on Helga's shoulder. "You are not alone in this Helga. You never were and you never will be. We will always be here to support you. You just have to accept it. Especially now with the kids…they're going to need you more than ever…Especially your daughter. Things have…been tough for them at such a small age, mainly for Halenie both emotionally…and physically. Which is another reason why I'm here. To drop these necessities off. "
Phoebe then pulled out small brown sacks of various fruits, vegetables, nutrients, vitamins, and medicines.
"W-what's all this stuff for?" Helga asked with an eyebrow raised.
"Well along with being your best friend, and the kids' godmother, I am also their primary pediatrician. I don't know if you forgot, but due to the twins' premature time of birth, they lacked certain nutrients essential for their growth. Though the NICU did its part and Phil was able to recover strong, Halenie wasn't so lucky. Though her primary immune deficiency isn't severe and she's alright, she needs extra support since her immune system is a bit weaker than we'd like."
"Wow…poor kid." Helga softened.
"But not to worry! As long as she continues to eat healthy and stays in a positive environment, she should be just fine! And now that they both have you, I expect her to be in such a good state that will lead a full recovery and a fulfilling life! I think this experience will be good for all of you, wouldn't you agree?" Phoebe smiled.
Helga thought about it deeply and finally nodded.
"Wonderful! Well I'm so sorry to cut this short, but I must get going. I have an important meeting dinner and Gerald offered to babysit Jodi for the night. It was wonderful to see you again Helga! Please keep in touch, and if you need absolutely anything, I'm just a call away!" Phoebe explained grabbing her purse then coming up to hug her friend.
"Y-yeah sure…G-good to see you again too Pheebs." Helga smiled weakly patting her friend on the back as she hugged her.
After calling her daughter and saying goodbye to the twins, Phoebe and Jodi both left the house.
Helga then gathered her thoughts together.
"Okay Helga ol' girl just calm down. Maybe this is all a good thing and…and maybe it needed to happen for all of our sakes. I mean I did a pretty decent job at bein' a mom when the Football-Head was still alive…Maybe I'm just overreacting and this won't be so bad after all." She smiled, reassuring herself.
CRASH!
"Oooooh! You bwoke the weird head shaped vase thingy! I'm telling mommy!"
"I-I didn't bweak it! It just fell down!"
"Nu-uh, you threw the ball wight on it and it bwoke! I saw you Philie!"
"Well I wouldn't have bwoken it, if you would have just catched the stupid ball in the first place!"
"You threw it too fast! It was coming stwaight for my head! Like it was gonna hit me!"
"Better you than the stupid bwoken vase thingy!"
"That's mean Philie!"
"Aw what are ya gonna do, cwy?"
"No!"
"Yeah you are. Your eyes are wet again."
"IT'S AN INVISIBLE YAWN!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not-not-NOT!"
"Is too-too-TOO!"
"Ugh MOOMMY!"
Helga then walked up to a wall and banged her head against it repeatedly. "Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it is going to be that bad and you'll find yourself slowly slipping into insanity for all eternity…"
To be continued…