A/N: Whoo! Who missed me? Lol honestly, I was shocked to see this story still get a bunch of views since the reviews weren't happening as frequently. But hey! I said nothing was going to stop me and I did reach over 100! So YAY THANKS EVERYONE! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME! Anyways, lol here's an update! Thanks for all those who took the time to read and review! The story's far from over and mystery is still intact! So here we go.

3 months…

It's been exactly 3 months since my…er those kids, Halenie and Philip have been dumped in my care…

Admittedly, I guess it wasn't as bad as I made it the first time I realized that I was stuck with this motherly gig once more, but Criminy let me tell ya, things were never easy…For me especially…

The first few weeks went sour. I mean really sour. Even when it seemed like everyone in the neighborhood went above and beyond to make it all sweet and dandy.

Stella, Miles, Phil, Gertie, and the whole gang overstayed their welcome in MY house just to check on the twins and supposedly me as well to ensure that we were all getting off on the right foot. Rhonda, Nadine, Lila, Sheena, Gloria, and Beauty would buy them all types of gifts and treats and clothes, myself included, while Phoebe would keep track of their health, mainly Halenie's. The guys and boarders would fix up any house chores or leaks that needed tending to; mainly normal heavy duty work that I meant to take care of but hadn't the will, strength, or care to do so, as it was something Arnold and I used to work on together since I refused to be the wife that would only handle the fragile and more delicate housework. But since he was no longer there, the duties all fell on me, which became too much overtime so I guess I sort of let everything go. I was getting by, but obviously it wasn't a state of preference for an environment with kids. Things did seem to flow a lot better after that so I guess I'm grateful. Though I still despised any sense or acts of pity, I can't deny and say I didn't appreciate everyone's contributions to making the kids happy. They had good food, good clothes, good company, toys, and kids to play with; a strong support system in which was something the Football Head would undoubtedly be pleased with as it was something he requested before he…croaked.

But that's just how it was when everyone was around; when they were present. But when they weren't…The house became the euphemism of a loud wreck. Granted, I wasn't exactly mother of the year when everyone crowded my house in the first place with their smiles and coos of "how wonderful it was that we were all together again". I remained as quiet as a shadow, or barely remained in the room at all, not feeling like being questioned like the Spanish Inquisition about anything that had to do with the kids or Arnold…I just wanted to be alone really. Alone where I could process everything and go back to getting by day by day. It seemed like that was my only way of living after all. Just eating, sleeping when I could, normal business stuff and writing my books of sorrow; making a pretty buck, and finding out what to do with that buck besides pay the bills and spend it on an expensive bottle of vodka or two that would in turn numb any unwanted feelings or desires that would creep up. And I would be in peace…until the hangovers kicked in anyways…Yep, that was the life for me. It was survival, as it would keep me alive and protect me from feeling any pain of the past that I tried hard not to think about.

But that protected and peaceful lifestyle was all but ripped away from me the moment Philip and Halenie came back into my life. Now, I was forced to remember. Now, I was forced to deal with it and everyone. Now, I was forced to recall every moment of my life not just with the memories of everyone in this accursed neighborhood, but every moment with Arnold up unto the day when Phil and Halenie were born and everyday thereafter, including if not especially, the unexpected death of my beloved, their father, which was the day my life went to total and complete sh**.

It wasn't exactly a hobby I enjoyed.

So I tried to keep my distance…I had to. I had to cope in some kind of way. Ways that wouldn't include breaking out the bottles and beers as I was trying hard to escape that mode. I didn't want to be like Miriam after all. Criminy that would be the ultimate sign that Helga G. Pataki was officially an ironic joke just like her so called mother. No. I had to find another way. So, like I said, I kept my distance when everyone would be around. I allowed the contact, but I didn't embrace it. Not in the slightest. I kept making excuses about having to work. How I couldn't be crowded around when I needed to write, or how I just didn't have the time to be there. I continued to do that even when they were all gone and it was just me and the kids. Oh how their petty begging and pleads annoyed me to no end. "Mommy, please play with us!" Or "Mommy please do this, or mommy please do that!" It was always mommy this, mommy that, and my favorite, the "five why's". "Mommy, why not this?" or "Mommy, why is that?" I knew I was on the brink of insanity, or doing something that I would regret. I mean Criminy! What more did they expect from me?! I fed them, clothed them, gave them shelter, they had everyone else! Why do they always keep coming to me?! Why do they always keep pestering me with their questions, wants, and time?! These brats just couldn't leave well enough alone! As if asking or whining for me for the hundredth-thousandth time would suddenly magically change my mind and I would cave in and play their petty games of tag or hide and seek, or video games, or watch shows that were once cherished in my own childhood, or worse, talk about their father…

No. That wasn't happening.

So, I yelled at them to keep them quiet. It was a last resort whenever they'd keep at it. Normally, I'd just walk away or run into another room or wave them off, or even call up the gang to have their kids play with them or take them out the house for a while. I didn't know what else to really do. I wasn't ready to play the dutiful good mommy. I wasn't ready to embrace the title of the single-mother. I wasn't ready…

But they never gave up. Boy did they never give up.

Instead of drinking, I resorted to other ways to keep calm. No, I don't mean picking up on my needlework side hobby, although it really was calming, but quicker, more effective ways like smoking. It was naughty, but it got the job done without going to drugs or to that dreaded bottle. Well, let me correct that, it was helpful while it lasted until the twins discovered the strange smells that would permeate the house and the dangerous smoke that would come from the little weird white stick in mommy's mouth that they insisted was a fire and would pull out their water guns, buckets of water, or anything with water in it, and dump it on mommy to stop the said fire and would then stop, drop, and roll on the floor, and then would start running around the house screaming their heads off that there was a fire…Yeah, imagine how I had to respond to all the neighbors that crowded the house in a confused frenzy…

And no, switching to the less hazardous vapor cigarettes didn't help either.

It got to the point where I was just ready to give into any demand they wanted! He**, I was ready to be their chump if that's what it took! I gave them whatever they begged for. Desserts at breakfast, they got it, skipping their fruits and vegetables when they wanted, staying up late, and everything every parent ever dreaded for their kids as long as it would keep them out of my hair. And Phil got a little spoiled over everything, heck, they both did, but Halenie…That…that girl, just kept insisting on wanting to spend time with me; insisted that they shouldn't skip out on their fruits and veggies like Auntie Phoebe said, and take their naps like she suggested, and act like good little kids to make Grandma and Grandpa proud, or even better, their daddy proud. As I expected, she was the next goody two shoes…

Which made me think of the former goody two shoes…Which made everything suck even more!

And that Halenie…Let me tell ya, she was a weird one. When she wasn't prancing around, smiling, hoping that I would spend an inch of my time playing her little childish games, she would be off somewhere talking to the air, her imaginary friend, some strange invisible force she named "Mr. Green Glowy Guy". It made me a little concerned for her sanity and wellbeing I admit, but hey, it kept her out of my hair. At least until Philip would start teasing her about it and pretty much anything that would rattle her. Then she would start doing that weird hyperventilation technique to stop herself from crying as they'd argue back and forth at high-pitched volumes.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Helga! How could you be so terrible?! Such a life is no life for kids! It's abuse even! How did you escape social services and all that jazz! Or even worse, what would Arnold think?!" Yeah, well I heard it all before Buckos! Trust me, a little incident happened that kind of well, I guess gave me a revelation that I could lose it all…And even more so that maybe, I wasn't ready to lose it all like I thought…

Little hints came here and there that all was not peaceful in the house like everyone thought. Second-hand smoking has its effects and so does eating nothing but junk food, especially in children. Phoebe was less than pleased at how frequently the kids were getting sick, especially Halenie, and there had been noise complaints from neighbors, not to mention the twins', mainly Philip's whining about how terrible everything was…But no matter how bad things got, I will tell you one thing. I never, EVER, laid a hand on any of them. Even when I got close, I never did. Something always stopped me. There'd be a few shoves and grabs like I did in grade school, but NEVER did I actually PHYSICALLY HURT them. But I did have tantrums…Not at them, not directly, just…when it got too much out of control, and I couldn't hold it, I'd lock myself in another room and started to yell and throw things…against the wall…and it would break…And they would hear it and get kind of scared. Oh and I forgot to mention I'd only do those things AFTER I finally caved in and had a little drink or two. One time, I forgot to lock myself away in a room, and exploded…while the twins were nearby. They kind of saw it from afar off, freaked out, and Stella and everyone came running. It was then after I got the reprimanding of my life that I realized the actual possibility-no, reality, that Philip and Halenie were going to be taken away from me for good, as Stella even admitted that she was ready to take me to court if she had to for full custody over them before any social workers would catch wind and dare rip them away from all of us forever because of my inconsiderate stupidity. Normally when all of my schemes to get my way go as planned, I bask in those moments. I wanted those kids gone from me and I got what I wanted right? So…why did I feel so threatened…so rattled, so...scared at the thought of those kids…MY kids…leaving me forever?

It was in that moment when I knew…I fu**ed up. Badly. I needed to fix it.

It took a lot to convince them all…A humbling heart wrenching apology on the verge of graveling to everyone including, no, especially to Philip and Halenie, along with throwing out all my alcohol contents I kept stashed and attending those dreaded AA meetings after all. The kids weren't staying with me as frequently, my conscience did a great job in kicking me upside the head for a while, and things weren't the same, but eventually, I gained trust again and things got better with the kids when they did come to visit me. And it was then when I allowed myself to let them into my life again that I realized I wanted them there after all. I started caving in and played their little childish games and realized I was actually having fun in the process. Philip and I still had our moments, what can I say, we were both stubborn. Not to mention he was basically a reflection of me. But we discovered that watching wrestling and cop shows were a great entertainment for us both. It kind of became our thing, despite Halenie ducking under the blankets on the violent parts. I got to admit, I started catching on to the whole mommy thing quite nicely! I started cooking for them, talking and laughing with them more, spending time with them, even giving time outs like normal parents instead of yelling when they'd do something bad. I even started taking them to the park, pushing them on the swings, the whole ordeal! It started becoming easier and I felt like maybe, just maybe…I had something to live for after all. But I guess I should mention, such activities were more bearable with little Philip than with Halenie. Don't get me wrong, I still spent time with both kids, but when it came to Halie, all I could think about was Arnold…She was more like that annoying Football Head than I ever realized! It was like, like he was still alive somehow…only within her…I mean she acted like him without even trying! She just-just brought back every moment I ever remembered having with Arnold when he was alive. And though every moment was supposed to be like a precious treasure, the fact that he wasn't alive anymore only made it like a stabbing session to my heart every time memories would start invading my thoughts. I couldn't take it. So, I kept my distance…Philip was the more bearable child who I could stand being around, while Halie…Halie was just…there. But she loved being there. Criminy, did she ever love being around me for some strange reason I couldn't explain. Especially, when it came to my writing. She loved being in the room to hear me go over my editing process or just overhear me recite any kind of poetry as if it were endless bed time stories that fascinated her. Yeesh…What a- "

"Hey mommy?"

Helga snapped her pink journal book shut and quickly whipped her head to the side to see her daughter twiddle her thumbs shyly while standing in the doorway of her office room.

"Hey Kiddo, what are you doing here? 'Thought you were watching a movie with your brother."

"I was, but it started to get to the scary parts I don't like so I left…Um…I wanted to ask you something?" Hal replied in a small, timid voice.

"Okay then shoot."

"Well…I know how you and Philip always watch TV together and laugh and stuff, but well…I-I w-was wondering if we could do something together instead? Just us?" Hal asked in a hopeful tone.

"Like what?" Helga raised an eyebrow.

"I dunno…Just…something fun?" She shrugged.

"Why do you not want your brother to be included? Don't you think that's unfair?" Helga frowned.

"I-I don't mean to sound mean…It's not wike that, I just…w-we never get the chance to do stuff when it's just us, but he always gets to spend time with you when we all play together and when it's just you and him…and…I-I just want a turn too that's all…" She replied quietly.

"Hm. Well, unfortunately, mommy's busy with work now so…" Helga replied shortly, turning back towards her books, not wanting to see her daughter's disappointed expression.

"W-well…what about when you're all done?" Hal asked in a hopeful tone.

"I won't be done for a while." Helga replied shortly once more.

"How wong is a while?" Hal asked innocently.

"It's a long, long time." Helga replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"How wong?" Hal asked curiously.

"Long enough to where I won't have time to play with you! You'll have to find something else to do. Criminy why don't you just go play with Phil or something?" Helga tried to keep her tone even through grit teeth, not liking or understanding why her daughter refused to back down.

"But, but I weally want to be with you wight now mommy! I don't mind waiting a wong, wong, time for you! I-I'll go get my pillow to get comfortable while I wait!" She smiled and rushed off to grab her favorite pillow before her mother could stop her.

"Oh Criminy she just doesn't give up!" Helga murmured under her breath and face palmed. She didn't bother to look up once she heard the tiny pitter patter of feet come back towards her direction.

"Okay! I got my pillow! I'm weady to wait a wong, wong time!" Hal replied excitedly and rushed in the office near a stack of papers to set up her spot.

"Great. Go wait somewhere else then. You can't be in here."

"But why mommy?" Hal whined.

"Because I said so doi! You know the rules. Mommy has to be by herself to concentrate whenever she's working on her writing! I can't have any disturbances." Helga scowled.

"I-I won't be a distur-distur-bancees. I'll be weally quiet! I pwomise! I won't make a peep! Pwease wet me stay! Pwease! I wike listening to your stowies!" Hal pleaded.

"I don't feel like reading them out loud. Plus, they're not for kids. There are no happily ever afters and other sh-er stuff like that. You'll get bored."

"I never get bored with your stowies mommy! You're a gweat stowy teller! Even if the stowies aren't happy like I like, I still like heawing you wead them. Besides, I'm going to kindergarten next week, and that has a whole bunch of books with all kinds of endings. They don't all have to be happy. You don't have to wead it if you don't want just wet me stay and watch you! Pweeeeaase? Pwetty pwease with sugar, and cweam, and wots and wots of spwinkles on top?" Hal pleaded dramatically on her knees.

"This kid is somethin' else…" Helga thought with amusement.

"What and no chocolate fudge or nuts with that?" Helga joked.

"All the chocoawate fudge and nuts in the world on top too!" Hal added cutely.

"Okay, okay criminy! Cut out the begging already. It's givin' me a headache. Look, you can stay. But don't make a sound, or you're out of here. Capeesh?" Helga relented.

"Capeaches!" Halenie saluted and sat on her pillow with a bright smile watching her mother pick up her trusty purple pen to write.

Helga tried to avoid the sweet smile that graced her daughter's lips or the urge to smile and coo at her cuteness as she sat patiently on the pillow to watch her and gruffly began to write in her book once more. Once she was done, she turned her head to find her daughter sucking her thumb lightly as she slept peacefully, curled up next to her mother's stack of journals.

Helga couldn't help but let out a small giggle at the scene and shake her head. She then scooped the little five-year-old up in her arms and tucked her in the soft blankets next to her brother on the couch who had already passed out earlier. Helga watched the twins cuddle closer together with a smile on her face. She let out a familiar swooning sigh, a sound she hadn't heard form herself in ages, feeling the need to grab her phone to take a picture, but fighting the said urge and stood there quietly.

How she wished she could experience the peace and state of innocence they were feeling. And once upon a time, she had. Well, at least her children still knew what the feeling was like. And in a way, little by little, she had to admit, she was starting to remember what it felt like as well.

Helga then turned off the blaring television, sat on the couch next to her children, and continued to watch them slumber away until she felt her eyes grow heavy as well. Finally, after a few minutes, sleep claimed her as well, but not before she found herself wrapping a lazy yet protective arm around both of their sleeping forms.

Like I said, change is just an important fact of life that happens whether we want it to or not. Its inevitable abilities are what impacts our lives when we least expect it in both good ways and bad ways depending on how well we adjust to its presence. Admittedly, I still say it sucks. But after everything, I can't deny and say that it's all bad. Maybe I'm in the stage where I finally accept that it just happens despite me despising the fact that it does; or maybe, I'm just crazy and am just that kind of person who can't take it despite my reputation. But either way, I can honestly say after these recent state of events that little by little, and day by day, I guess I'm managing the changes as best as Helga G. Pataki possibly can...