Killian woke slowly, the silence of his bedroom pulling him from a dream he couldn't quite remember. It had involved Emma, a field of flowers, and an amazing coat that had made him look devilishly handsome. And then it hadn't involved very much clothing at all.
I could have lost you! she'd shouted at him - and God, was she beautiful when she was angry. And she cared for him. For him. He'd had a lot of time to think, tied up in that warehouse between beatings. He knew what he felt for her - knew that whatever it was, he hadn't felt anything like it before. Not even with Milah. It was simpler, somehow, than it had been with Milah. Even the sneaking around was different. Milah had craved freedom; Emma had it.
Yes, what he felt for Emma was new; it was heady. And it was possible - likely, even - that she felt the same way.
Raised voices. Emma and Liam were arguing again. Whatever it was, they were keeping it well away from him, both of them brushing off any concern he'd voiced on the subject over the past few days. Killian didn't like it. He was falling for Emma, falling hard, and he wasn't sure he could survive another relationship if Liam didn't approve. Not again. He didn't want to have to-
"Hey," Emma interrupted his thoughts before they could spiral completely. "You're awake."
He shrugged, watching as she came fully into the room and sat on the edge of the mattress. He could feel the heat of her pressed against his hip. He wanted her closer.
"Let me take a look at you," Emma said, reaching out to brush his hair away from his face.
Killian's eyes fluttered at the touch, leaning into the warmth of Emma's hand. "Are you sure you want to? Hades sort of knocked the handsome out of me," he deflected.
"No one's that powerful," she snarked with a soft smile. "How are you feeling?"
"What's going on?" Killian asked instead, looking over towards the door.
"I just checked in with Mills," Emma waved the satellite phone at him. "Gold is acting as if you aren't even missing from work. It's like he doesn't have a care in the world. I'd have thought Nolan and Locksley would be scrambling to keep your job for you."
His job. He hadn't even thought about that. "It doesn't matter anyway," he shrugged.
"What?"
Killian pushed himself up in the bed gingerly, masking the groan that wanted to escape and resting against the headboard. Almost immediately, he wished that he hadn't moved. "It's… even after we take him down, I don't… I just don't know if I want to keep doing this."
"What?" she asked again, sounding even more incredulous this time.
"I thought that taking him down, finally getting justice for Milah… I thought it would mean something. I thought it would… fix something." Fix me, he didn't say aloud.
From the look on Emma's face, he didn't have to say it.
Getting his revenge on Gold just wasn't as important anymore. It had almost cost him everything. He might have died in his quest to take out Milah's murderer and what would it have accomplished?
Milah would still be gone and, worse, Liam and Emma would be-
"Emma, what are you telling him?" Liam asked hotly from the door.
-left to their own devices. They'd probably kill each other.
Emma scowled, not bothering to mask her annoyance from Killian. He cocked his head to the side, trying to figure the two of them out. He'd really thought that Liam would like Emma - poor taste in organizational tactics aside - and while he wasn't a schoolboy with a crush looking for his brother's approval any longer, it stung to think he wouldn't get it.
"Nothing he doesn't need to know," she replied cryptically, smirking over her shoulder at his brother. Killian couldn't see the look on her face, not entirely, but he could see Liam's upper lip rise into a sneer. Trying to keep the peace between them, Killian reached out to snag the ends of Emma's hair. He tugged lightly, causing her to turn back around and Liam to cock an eyebrow.
"We were talking about what kind of benefits you'll set me up with if I take you up on that job offer, brother," he said quietly, with a smile that he was sure didn't reach his eyes.
Liam just blinked.
Emma glared. At him, at Liam, at the wall. He had a feeling that, no matter what else happened, they weren't done with this conversation.
"You want to come work with me?" Liam sounded awestruck, as if the possibility that his little brother would accept working together again had never actually occurred to him.
Killian was starting to wonder why he hadn't just left when Liam did. That was all he'd ever wanted, wasn't it? The Jones brothers against the world? It sounded better and better with every passing moment. "Aye, brother."
"What about Locksley?"
Oh.
Killian shrugged. He didn't have it all worked out yet, anyway.
Emma stood suddenly, forcing Killian to drop his fingers from where they were still tangled in her hair lest he hurt her. She stormed from the room, pausing only just long enough to whisper something hotly in Liam's ear. Killian could just make it out.
"Don't you dare upset him now."
He blinked. What the hell?
"How are you feeling, little brother?" Liam asked disarmingly when Emma was out of sight. He held a bottle of water in his hands and passed it back and forth idly, watching the movement rather than meeting Killian's eyes.
"What's going on, Liam?" Killian asked beseechingly. He hated being kept in the dark. "What aren't you telling me?"
Liam came further into the room, holding out the water before taking Emma's place at his hip. Killian accepted the bottle, the coolness in his hands distracting him for a moment. He resisted the urge to press the plastic to his still swollen eye, not wanting to give Liam a chance to mother him rather than talk to him. Instead, Killian twisted off the top and gulped down some of the cool liquid. It tasted off, but everything did with the cuts in his mouth still stinging.
"Why now?" Liam asked instead of answering his questions.
Killian shook his head. He knew that he wouldn't get any answers out of his brother until Liam was ready to give them. "It just…" he sighed.
"Killian," Liam prompted when he didn't continue.
"I thought it was worth it, worth… torturing myself. Worth letting Gold torture me day after day." He paused. "It's not."
Liam smiled sadly. "You love what you do."
"I like what I do. I don't love it. Not anymore. I can do more good at your side than I'll ever do with all the red tape and the underhanded dealing that goes on right beneath our noses." Killian huffed, then shook his head. "Even with people like Emma, like you on the force, it's not… there's too many side deals and… and deception for it to be worth it anymore."
Liam looked stricken and it was such an incongruous look with what Killian expected that he pushed himself fully upright, reaching for his brother's arm. "Liam?" he asked, nearly begging for an answer. For his brother to just trust him.
But Liam just shook his head, brushing off the look and smiling brightly - too brightly. "I'd love to have you come aboard, little brother. We'll get you out of this mess and then we'll get you a desk and some new cases to work, all right?"
Killian squinted, but whatever had caused that look was buried so deeply that it would take a lot more prodding than he was prepared for at the moment. He had to admit that, no matter the reason behind it, just the thought of working with Liam again was enough to boost his spirit.
And to help him remember that he hated being stuck in bed.
Liam seemed to anticipate his escape plan and pinned him in bed with one hand. "Just rest, little brother," he ordered with a glare that would make lesser men cower.
Killian just smirked. "I think you mean younger, brother."
Liam rolled his eyes at the familiar admonishment. "Sure I did," he replied before smoothing the covers over Killian's chest.
Killian resisted the urge to bristle, but only barely. It didn't help that his eyes were drooping shut against his best intentions. He growled menacingly over his brother's quiet laughter, but never heard if Liam left the room before he fell asleep.
"What the bloody hell was that?" Liam hiss-shouted as soon as Killian's door shut behind him. He was red in the face and seething, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.
Emma stood swiftly from where she was crouched by the fireplace. If Liam was spoiling for another fight, then she would give it to him - but on even footing. "Keep your voice down!" she hissed back, throwing a meaningful glare over his shoulder.
Liam just shrugged. "I dosed his water. He'll be out for hours now."
Emma wanted to be mad on Killian's behalf; she did. But she also knew it was probably the only way the stubborn bastard would sleep. Her brain too slow to keep up with her mouth, Emma spluttered for a bit before crossing her arms and pouting. "What the bloody hell was what?" she asked, trying and failing to imitate Liam's accent.
"I thought we agreed not to stress him out further," Liam retorted, still sneering. "And then I walk in the room and you've got him convinced that I'm up to something."
Emma began to pace. "Your brother is a detective, Liam, in case you failed to notice. And he's a damn good one, too. I-"
"You don't have to defend my brother to me, Miss Swan! That's been my job far longer than you've held the title."
"Then do it!" she shouted, heedless of whether or not she'd wake Killian. Liam was being an insufferable bastard and she wasn't going to stand for it any longer. "You say you want to protect him but you won't tell him the truth!"
Liam took a step forward to loom over her; Emma took her own step forward, determined not to be cowed. "Because the truth would shatter him. I am protecting him. It's all I've ever done. If I tell him the truth, he won't…" he trailed off, the anger in his face draining alarmingly quickly.
"For what it's worth, he worships the ground you walk on," she assured quietly. "He'll be angry, but you won't lose him."
"Yes," he assured her with a conviction that left no room for doubt, "I will."
Emma's shoulders slumped, the fight leaching out of her as well. "I don't think that's possible, but you're right about one thing - he's not in the right frame of mind right now to find out what happened."
Liam shook his head, stepping back and turning away. "No, he's not. I love my brother, Emma; I'd do anything for him. Even if it means losing him. But I won't be the one who hurts him with this. Not if I can help it."
Emma shook her head helplessly. "He won't find out about it from me, but… Liam, wouldn't it be better if he heard about it from you? What happens if Hades or some other bastard gets ahold of him again?"
"I won't let them."
"You might not have a choice. What happens if he hears from Hades what you've done? What you're still-"
"I'm not!" Liam shouted again. "Don't you understand, Emma? That's probably… I'm probably the reason he's lying in that bed right now, all beat to Hell and back. I told Hades I wouldn't… Emma…"
Emma stepped forward, her hand falling to Liam's shoulder hesitantly. Liam Jones was not his brother; she wasn't entirely sure where she stood with him like she was with Killian. He gave her a wan smile, but didn't shake her off.
"It's not your fault, Liam," she tried to assure him, but it came out flat. "Whatever Hades did, he did for his own gain. You didn't-"
"I did." Liam didn't let her say more than that, just shook his head sadly and walked towards the door. "He'll sleep for awhile yet, but let me know if my brother needs anything, yeah?"
Emma nodded sadly. "He needs you, Liam."
The echoing slam of the door was the only response Emma got.
"Emma?" Killian called out some time later. She had no idea how long she'd been standing there, staring at the door and listening to the sound of Liam's ax falling again and again. She could see him, just beyond the window, piling the wood as he chopped it and occasionally staring back at the cabin like it held all the answers.
Emma thought sourly that it did.
"Swan?" Killian tried again, this time getting her to turn around.
She started. She'd expected to see his closed door. Emma didn't expect to see Killian held up by the doorframe and the stubborn glint in his eye. "Son of a bitch! Killian, get back in bed!" she shouted to cover up the worry.
Killian smiled weakly, but didn't try to move. "Don't let Liam hear you insult our mother like that, Swan," he said, a bit breathlessly. Emma watched as he swayed dangerously before getting a better grip on the door and steadying his feet underneath him.
"Jesus, Killian, what are you doing?" she asked hotly, moving across the room swiftly to duck under his arm and shoulder his weight.
He sagged in her grip, his head coming to rest on her own for a moment before his fingers tangled in her shirt. "Got sick of staring at the same four walls. What're you doing? Where's Liam?"
The rhythmic thunk of the ax picked up again and Killian's head rose from Emma's to zero in on his brother. "You two fighting again?"
Emma shook her head. "Don't worry about us. Let me help you to the couch."
Killian huffed out his disbelief at her brush off, but limped towards the worn out couch with more weight leaning on Emma than he probably intended. He was out of breath by the time he got there, but there was still color on his cheeks and his eyes were bright for the first time in days.
"Liam said you'd be out for hours," Emma said almost in complaint when she'd gotten him settled and had found a blanket to drape over his shoulders.
Killian scoffed. "I was out for too long as it was. Bloody bastard slipped it into the water, didn't he?"
"You need the rest, Killian."
He shook his head. "We need to stop Gold and find Hades. Swan, they-"
"I know. We will. All three of us," she promised. "But you won't do either of us any good if you collapse on your feet."
Killian scoffed. "It'll take a lot more than a little beating to keep me from finally taking that bloody bastard down. Emma, I-"
"I know, Killian," she said again.
He deflated, shoulders sagging as he nearly disappeared into the couch cushions. "I've been waiting so long for this. I'm just… I'm tired of it all, luv. I just want it to be done."
"So what are you saying?" Emma asked. "That when this is all over, you're going to… what? Quit?"
Killian nodded. "I just… I miss my brother, Emma. Everything else… it doesn't matter."
"Of course it matters!" Emma shouted, making even Killian jump. She heard the ax outside stop falling and knew she was on borrowed time. "Killian, you've done good here. For so many people. If you give in now, if you let Gold win - even as he loses - damnit, Killian, don't let him beat you! That's what he wants!"
Killian looked away, but not before she saw the broken look in his eyes.
"Here's the thing, This doesn't have to be the end. You can finish this and go back to work and do some real good there. You just have to forgive yourself." Emma paused, but Killian refused to meet her eyes. "Thing is, no matter how many times I tell you, or anybody else does, you have to do it yourself."
She stood before he could say anything, stalking out of the room and ignoring the pull in her heart to go back. To make him understand. To force him to see what she saw in him.
She couldn't turn around.
"Killian!" Liam's shout twenty minutes later brought Emma sprinting back into the living room. He was standing in the doorway, snow blanketing his shoulders and steam rising - quite literally - from his hair. If he didn't look so angry, Emma would have found it funny.
Killian was still sitting on the couch, looking sheepish and trying to melt into the cushions. He had the blanket wrapped around his shoulders like a cape, still, and looked every part the 'little' brother he routinely chided Liam for calling him.
"He's fine, Liam. Leave him alone." Emma wasn't sure what possessed her to speak, to defend Killian from perhaps the one person in the world - aside from her - who he didn't need defending from.
"I'll be the judge of that, Miss Swan," Liam said, clearly falling completely into overprotective brother mode. He dismissed her with a succinct shake of his head and moved to Killian's side.
"Brother, don't be an ass," Killian warned, ducking his head out of reach and looking for Emma. His eyes were red and he looked lost. Emma almost broke her resolve and went to him, but stood her ground. He needed to be a little lost before he could find himself again.
"What did you tell him?" Liam seethed again, and Emma rolled her eyes.
"You're starting to sound like a broken record, Liam. If you don't want Killian to know what's going on, then maybe you should stop telling him that something's going on."
Killian glanced back and forth between the two of them before Emma stalked out the door with a brisk, "Going for supplies. I'll be back," and nearly tore his jacket off the coat hooks. She grabbed her keys as well and Killian wanted nothing more than to get up and go after her.
Every muscle in his body protested even the thought of movement.
She won't go far, he thought. He hoped.
Liam didn't move from the doorway - looking like a bloody fool snowman - until Emma shoved him out of the way. Only then did his older brother shut the door and come to sit down next to him.
"You really shouldn't be out of bed, you know."
Killian wanted bonus points from whoever was keeping score for not rolling his eyes. He deserved them. "What's going on with you and Emma?" he asked, staring Liam down and wishing he had both of them in the same room to hash this out.
Liam leaned back against the arm of the couch and adopted an easy smile. It set Killian's teeth on edge. "She thinks I'm hiding something from you."
"That's preposterous," he exclaimed without even having to think about it. His brother wouldn't lie - especially not to him.
But Liam dropped his gaze to his shoes and started to fidget with the ring around his neck. Killian had never seen him take it off. Liam stared at that ring for longer than Killian's patience cold handle. The echo of Emma's engine faded into the distance before Liam finally spoke.
"Killian, you trust me, right?" he asked, a hesitant tone in his voice that Killian had never heard before.
"Aye, you know I do." It was something else he didn't even need to think about.
Liam nodded, but it was a sad little thing. "Then can you trust that whatever Emma thinks she knows, I did it with the best of intentions?" He didn't look up, but lifted the ring over his head and handed it over.
Killian's brow wrinkled, pulling at cuts and bruises and making him wince. The metal was warm in his hands, but he still didn't know what to make of any of this. He slipped the chain over his head, the thunk of the ring against his chest feeling like an anchor - steadying him and weighing him down all at the same time. "Aye. Liam, what's going on?"
"That is the question of the day, isn't it, Detective Jones?" Gold's voice came out of nowhere, making both Killian and Liam whip their heads around and stare in disbelief as their commanding officer walked out of the back bedroom, snow in his hair and a 9MM service weapon pointed at them.
Killian's head spun, his thoughts whirling a mile a minute. How? Why? Where was Emma? How could he get Liam out of this before Gold used him as a pawn?
How did Gold find them in the first place?
Using the back of the couch to his advantage, Killian slipped a pistol from the small of his back to Liam's lap. He could just about read Liam's mind, the fear for the situation and the adrenaline already making his brother's hands start to shake. Liam didn't want the gun, that much was sure; Killian knew he didn't trust himself with it. But Gold was there and he was holding a weapon on them and Killian needed to be sure that his brother could protect himself. His brother glared at him, eyes widening a second later as his nostrils flared.
Whether Liam was more afraid of Gold or what Killian was going to do about it, he couldn't tell.
Standing slowly with his hands clearly empty in front of him, Killian willed away the sharp pains and the exhausting aches that had nearly overcome him already. He took a step away from the couch - away from Liam - ignoring the frustrated snarl that his brother couldn't bite back.
The business end of Gold's weapon followed Killian. Perfect.
Liam made to stand as well, but Gold tutted at him and made a show of flipping off the safety with a pointed look. His aim never left Killian. "Sit. Down."
Liam sat.
"Very good, Captain," Gold patronized, smirking like a cat who'd caught a canary. "Too bad you couldn't be more like your brother, Lieutenant. Learn to follow orders like a good little minion."
Killian snarled, visions of leaping across the room to strangle the bastard threatening his brother playing through his mind. Every cracked rib and laceration throbbed at him in response. His knee was barely holding him up as it was. He'd have to be smart about all this.
Or else he might get Liam killed.
"What do you want, Gold?" he bit out, trying to keep the attention away from Liam. To buy time. For Swan, for him to come up with a plan, for Liam to run.
Well, Hell would freeze over before that last one happened.
Gold shrugged, unaware or uncaring of the strife pinching Killian's gut. "I've nothing left to lose. You've taken everything from me - my wife, my family, my career. The least I can do is repay the favor."
The nose of the weapon angled back towards Liam and Killian took a staggering step forward. "Leave him alone. He hasn't done anything to you."
"Oh, hasn't he?" Gold taunted, finally breaking eye contact with Killian to leer at Liam. "Would you like to tell him, or shall I?"
"He won't believe a bloody word you'll say, you bastard," Liam snarled, launching himself to his feet and drawing both Killian and Gold's full and undivided attention.
"Liam-" Killian croaked, reaching out a hand towards his brother though there were meters between them. "Sit down, please."
Liam didn't answer, his piercing stare daring Gold to speak.
"You should listen to your little brother, Captain." Gold ignored the threat in Liam's eyes. "You won't be so high and mighty once he knows the truth. Will he ever speak to you again, I wonder?"
"Liam?" Killian questioned, not daring to take his eyes off Gold, but begging his brother to explain all the same.
"It's nothing, Killian. Ignore him."
"Yes, Lieutenant," Gold sneered. "Ignore the man with the gun and the truth. Sound advice from a washed up cop."
Killian tensed, adrenaline flowing easily with the insult to Liam. Gold was still staring at Liam, the two of them locked in a contest of wills and leaving Killian left out. He took slow, measured steps forward, careful not to draw anyone's attention to his movements.
"That's far enough, Lieutenant," Gold commanded without taking his eyes off Liam. "We wouldn't want you to do anything brash until you've heard the truth. Didn't you wonder why Hades didn't just kill you once he had you in that warehouse? Didn't you wonder why it was so easy to escape? Don't you know what your brother's done for you?"
Killian's head whipped around so fast he saw stars. Liam was looking at the carpet, the walls, anywhere to avoid Killian's gaze.
"Liam?" he questioned hesitantly. "What's he talking about?"
Liam looked bereft. "I didn't know he'd taken you, Killian. You have to know that I'd have come looking if I did."
"Of course," Killian agreed automatically. He knew Liam hadn't known. He'd only sent that one text to Emma and if she hadn't followed the breadcrumbs he'd left, he wouldn't be standing - well, slumping was a more accurate description - here now.
"I told him I wasn't going to keep his secrets anymore." Liam's voice was pitched so low that Killian could barely hear him.
The words still echoed in his ears as if they'd been shouted through a megaphone.
"What?"
Liam tried to look up, but couldn't. To Killian, it looked as though the hand of Zeus, himself, was pushing down on Liam's shoulders, the weight of whatever he was talking about nearly crushing him.
"Liam, talk to me," Killian pleaded, nearly forgetting Gold entirely as he stepped forward again.
His knees nearly buckled when Gold reached out and wrapped an arm around Killian's neck, the cold steel of his gun pressed against his temple.
"No!" Liam shouted, taking a step towards them that was aborted nearly before it began when Gold started to squeeze the trigger.
"Ah, ah, ah, Captain," Gold warned. "Don't want to cause any more accidents with your brother, do we? Wouldn't want his blood on your hands, after all. Not after how much of your soul you've sold to keep him safe."
"Liam, please," Killian begged, but he didn't even know what he was asking for. An answer, for his brother to just listen, for Liam to just let Gold do what he wanted.
Everything seemed wrong.
"You don't have to do this, Gold," Liam tried, his hands up in supplication as he took a step backwards. Nonthreatening, cooperative, all the things they taught in the Academy about engaging a violent suspect.
Gold snickered in Killian's ear, turning them so he could back them up towards the door.
"We can make a deal," Liam cried, and Killian could hear the desperation creeping into his tone. "You always had an ear for a good deal; that's what Hades always said."
What?!
Killian's feet stopped moving, making the hold around his neck tighten and cutting off his air supply. It felt like Liam's revelation had done that long before. "You know Hades?!" he managed to croak out, eyes wide and disbelief coloring every word as everything started to sink in.
Liam looked away, shame making his cheeks go red and his shoulders slump. "Killian, you don't understand. I didn't-"
"Either you know the man who sits atop our Most Wanted list or you don't, Brother," Killian cut him off, not wanting to believe that his brother, that Liam of all people, could be dirty.
Gold giggled in his ear, forcing them back another step out onto the porch. "This is so much more fun than I could have imagined! Does it sting, Jones? Knowing that your sainted brother is no better than the man you despise? Tell me, tell me what you're feeling. How much does it hurt?"
Killian bristled. It didn't matter what Gold said; he would never believe that Liam was the same as him. Liam was… this was some kind of mistake. Some kind of nightmare. This was why he didn't want to take those bloody pills.
But no. Everything hurt too much for this to be a dream.
"Liam," he begged again.
Liam wouldn't… couldn't meet his eyes. "I won't apologize, Killian. Not when it kept you alive. Kept you safe."
"Aww, it's twue wuv," Gold sneered mockingly, moving the gun from Killian's temple to sight in on Liam. "Don't make another move, Captain, or I'll drop you where you stand."
"No!" Killian shouted, struggling in earnest the second he couldn't feel the muzzle at his temple. He had to get free. He had to make sure Liam was safe. He had to-
Liam pulled the gun Killian had slipped him and aimed it far above Gold's head. Even from where he stood, Killian could see how much Liam's hands were shaking. Could see the fear in his eyes. The anger. The frustration.
But most of all, the terror.
"It's all right, Brother," Killian soothed, stilling his movements and concentrating on Liam. "It's going to be all right."
"How?" Liam breathed - Killian read his lips rather than heard it, and he smiled reassuringly.
"Because you're my brother." He smirked as he shrugged, stumbling when Gold pulled them backwards into the snow. His socked feet were soaked instantly, and Killian was irrationally worried about the state of his toes.
He didn't think he'd look good with a peg leg.
Shaking his head away from thoughts of pirates and Caribbean temperatures, Killian blinked away the stars that danced in his vision and concentrated. All he could hope was that the bloody microphone on his phone was picking all this up. Emma needed to get back here and help Liam.
"Oh, this is so much fun!" Gold crowed, waving the gun towards Liam. "A true test of your character, Captain. Your training tells you what the odds are here. I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. You've got everything to lose. What are you going to do, dearie?"
"Shoot the bloody crocodile, Liam. Do it!" Killian shouted over Gold's crazed mumblings.
Liam stared at them helplessly, the gun in his hand shaking violently. "I… I can't!"
"Yes, you can. Liam…" Killian ducked his head a little, trying to catch his brother's eye. "Liam, you're my brother. I trust you."
Liam shook his head. "You shouldn't."
"That's right, dearie," Gold chortled. "You shouldn't trust him. He's been deeper in Hades's pocket than me since I murdered Milah."
"That's not true!" Killian hissed, staring at Liam, begging him to dispute Gold. "That's impossible."
Liam's chin dropped to his chest. "Killian…"
"Why?"
Liam's head came up, his hand steadying a bit as he sighted down the gun. "To protect you from him," he hissed, taking a step forward.
Gold swung the gun around until it was pressed against Killian's temple again. "Don't come any closer. I'll shoot him and leave you to pick up the pieces."
Killian tried to pull his head away, tried to sag in Gold's grasp. Anything to get free long enough for Liam to end the bastard. They could figure out everything else later.
Gold was surprisingly strong for having sat behind a desk for years.
"It's okay, Liam," Killian assured. "You've got this. I trust you."
Liam turned tortured eyes on him, his feet rooted in place and the gun starting to shake once more. "Killian, I'm-"
"I know. It's all right, Brother."
Liam shook his head, but the grip on his weapon tightened even as his arm continued to tremble.
"What's it going to be, Captain? Are you willing to gamble on your brother's life? Or are you going to watch me shoot him?" Gold snickered and waved the gun, pulling it away from Killian's head just long enough to-
BANG!
The shot echoed through the clearing and Killian had just enough time to see the horrified look cross Liam's face. Had just enough time to feel Gold fall away behind him. Had just enough time to smile at his brother, knowing that Gold wouldn't have let go unless Liam had hit his target.
And then it started to get cold.
And then the air got thick.
And then his feet went numb.
Odd, he thought, I thought frostbite hurt.
And then Liam was shouting.
Killian couldn't hear him over the pulsing in his ears.
Everything hurt now, from his frostbitten feet to his chest.
Why?
...
The last thing Killian saw before blackness overtook him was his brother's tearstained face looming over him, still shouting silently.
"What did you do?" Emma's voice echoed through the woods. How she'd known to come back, he'd never know. Killian must have called her.
"I… he…" Liam trailed off helplessly before whispering brokenly, "I shot him."
The look on Emma's face wasn't nearly as recriminating as his own thoughts, but it was ice cold nonetheless. "You… what? Why would you shoot your own brother? You're not even supposed to have a gun any more. God, Liam, what were you thinking? You know better! I was on my way!"
She nearly shoved him out of the way trying to get to Killian's side, and he nearly let her - would have, if not for the blood. Between his fingers, hot and warm and not stopping, despite the flannel shirt he'd balled up over the neat little hole in Killian's chest.
God, he'd shot his own brother.
His hands started to shake again, and Liam glared down at them. That was the problem in the first place, and yet he couldn't make it stop. He had to focus. He had to-
"Oh, move over!" Emma shouted in his ear before hip checking him out of the way and pressing her hands down over his.
Killian didn't make a sound.
"Killian, please..." Liam cut himself off. He was nearly too terrified to beg his brother to just stay. Not when voicing it out loud might make it real. Might mean he was losing Killian. Might mean he'd failed to protect his little brother.
He didn't even realize he'd been summarily dismissed from Killian's care until the sight of his brother's blood all over his fingers swam into his vision.
Blood.
There was just so much blood. He could feel it, dry and stiff on his shirt, sticky and pulling on the palms of his hands, the memory of it hot and coursing through his fingers as he'd tried to keep Killian alive and breathing. Here. There was just so much blood on his hands because of what he'd done, because of what he'd failed to do. Keep his little brother safe. God, that was all he wanted out of this bloody miserable existence that he'd fallen into after he'd been forced to retire from the department. And now, he'd realized the second the retort of the borrowed weapon had reverberated up his arm, he couldn't even manage that.
There was just so much blood.
Killian had smiled at him before he'd collapsed. Before the world had come to a screeching halt and Liam had felt as though someone had dropped him into a vat of concrete for how quickly he'd been able to move. His little brother had smiled at him in pure relief to know that Liam had taken the shot, had likely killed him, if only because it meant that Gold was gone and Liam was safe.
God, he'd only taken the shot to save Killian. Liam would have gladly traded places with his brother if only Gold had afforded him the chance. But now Killian was bleeding out in the snow, the ambulance might take upwards of a half hour if they didn't understand his panicked call of officer down, and there was nothing else Liam could do.
"Liam!"
He looked up, startled so badly that he'd nearly reached for the gun. Emma looked at him, exasperated, and he realized she'd been calling him for quite some time. "Wh-what?"
"Go inside and find some towels, a blanket, something to keep your brother alive."
Liam stumbled to his feet, the adrenaline racing through him and making his legs weak. He crashed to the ground, his knee impacting a jagged rock underneath the snow and nearly making him cry out.
"God damnit, Liam! Your brother needs you." Emma's glare cut through him, but what she said next nearly finished him. "You wanted to play the hero before, when you took the shot. Be his hero now. Get me some goddamn blankets!"
Liam stared at Emma for only a moment longer, just long enough for the sharp pain in his knee to fade to a pointed ache. He rushed through the rooms, heading directly for the linen closet and grabbing absolutely everything he could carry. The ambulance had to be coming soon; they had to get here soon or else... God, or else he'd lose his brother.
He'd have murdered his own brother.
With that thought ringing in his ears, Liam nearly dropped the blankets and sheets in a pile by the front door. He likely would have if not for whoever took them swiftly out of his hands. His first emotion that filtered through the shock was anger - sharp and immediate and all-encompassing. He could do it himself; he was capable of holding onto a load of blankets. He'd only left Emma with his brother because he thought she'd take care of him, not expecting her to come after him.
She hadn't.
Of course she hadn't; she was still with Killian, keeping him alive.
But David had.
"God, is everyone going to get here before the bloody ambulance?" Liam muttered angrily to his partner, watching as Mills hurried out the front door with the blankets, calling for Emma. "How did you get here?"
Fear gripped him again before he could latch onto the anger and keep it close. Had David heard something over the scanner? Did Hades know what was going on? Were there more men coming?
David gripped his shoulder, leading him towards the front porch and forcing him to sit on the step. Liam bristled, trying to stand and move back to his brother's side, but David was too strong for him with the way his muscles were shaking. "In a minute, Jones. Let them work. Emma called me."
Liam still tried to stand, cursing himself for not being able to get to Killian. God, his brother was looking more and more pale, his eyes shut and his body limp. From where he was sitting Liam couldn't even see if...
If his chest was rising.
"David?" he begged, not knowing what nor how to ask.
David looked grimly over to where Emma and Henry were working. "He's alive, for now. Liam, what happened? How did Gold shoot him?"
Liam blinked. Emma hadn't told them. She hadn't told them anything.
"He didn't," he whispered brokenly, staring down at the blood covering his hands. It had started to dry and cake on his palms, between his fingers, under his nail beds. God, his little brother's blood was everywhere.
And he'd done that to Killian.
"He didn't," Liam whispered again. "I did."
It was David's turn to blink, his head whipping back from where he watched the grisly scene in front of him to stare at his part- his former partner. Liam didn't have a partner anymore. "Say what now?"
It was the utter disbelief that got to him, more than anything. Even with the scene right in front of them, even with the evidence that would eventually come out anyway, David didn't believe that he was capable.
Capable of murdering his own brother.
God, he'd killed his little brother.
Liam didn't have time to explain, though, as the sounds of sirens finally started to echo through the trees and David took off over the hill with a firm command to, "Stay, Jones. Don't move."
As if he was going anywhere.
At least until they moved Killian.
Liam tried to stand again anyway, crashing to his knees when his legs wouldn't hold him up any longer and drawing a glare from Emma.
"Don't you dare make me pick you up out of the snow, Jones," she hissed vehemently. "I'll leave you there."
Mills looked terrified, pointedly not looking at either of them and pushing down harder on Killian's chest.
There was just so much blood. In the snow, on his hands, staining his soul. Leaking out from his brother. Killian was just so pale, so still. And it was all Liam's fault. He was going to lose his little brother and it was all his fault.
"Ma'am?" Henry muttered hesitantly. "I don't think he's breathing."