I hope you guys didn't mistakenly think I was bringing Orochimaru early into the story... Just kidding! I'd love it if you did. But nope. He's not showing up this early. And trust me, NOBODY wants me to bring him up anytime soon. Anyways, enjoy the entrance of mine and Kishimoto's favorite snake mistress while I go buy the right to own Naruto with my pennies. I have lots of pennies. Maybe enough to buy Naruto. We shall see. Meanwhile, I don't own him and go check out Naruto Gaiden if you've been keeping up with the manga!

Chapter 3: Forests and Snakes

Mitarashi Anko was, by definition, not a happy person. She was either scary cheery, or creepy; people knew her for this, and that's if you're not looking at her miniskirt and mesh body suit with nothing underneath. That calls people's attention too, but mostly her scariness did. She loved noticing people catching sight of her dubbed "ninja suit" though. By the time she drew someone's blood it was too late to look away, and the fear in people's eyes was priceless for her.

This, however, was appearances. People knew her for being Orochimaru's lackey once upon a time, and she hated being known for that. Why no one knew her as the sexiest kunoichi to ever live or be alive was to her great frustration but she'd fix that, one nosebleed at a time. She wasn't provoking any nosebleeds in the Forest of Death however. Everyone knew what she went there to do; such intense training that only the Hokage would dare train along with her. And even he was smart enough to stay away from such a thing when he had the choice to.

But today, her snakes sensed someone entering the Forest. Anko scowled as she remembered all the academy students and ninja wannabes that enter the Forest of Death thinking it's some kind of cool adventure for ninjas like them. It made her want to bite into their brains and pour acid into them, but it would take too long for their bodies to dissolve and surely they'd be found before that… No, Anko didn't kill them but she did scare them away each and every time. There was no hesitation when she stopped training and rushed to where the intruder was, her mind racing with things she would do once she caught it. For her, whoever was it was now an it, a prey. She licked her lips in anticipation and used her stealth once she was close enough.

She did not expect a boy sleeping peacefully while one of her snakes slithered around him, however. How someone could get himself into a forest dubbed "death" and still sleep that soundly was almost surprising to her. Almost. Her amusement won and she chuckled darkly, then stopped herself abruptly. 'That sounds too much like Orochimaru' she thought and forced herself to think of other things. She brightened up at thinking of how to scare the boy shitless. 'Hmm, if he thinks he can sleep easy here then he can surely survive a rude awakening' she decided in her mind and gave an order to her snake, then jumped away. Seconds later, the snake vanished only to come back after a few minutes with a wild tiger after it. Its roar woke up a startled Sasuke, who panicked for a second before running away as if his life depended on it. Because it did.

Sasuke had no idea where he was, only that it was some kind of forest. He had fallen asleep without even noticing, and now only what little training he had in shinobi senses allowed him to react that quickly to a tiger trying to eat him. The beast was fast, but the boy was just slightly faster. Sasuke knew he was still tired, but the adrenaline in him kept him running far past his limit. Just when the tiger seemed to have him the boy ducked and leapt to the side, and the beast crashed head-first into a robust tree. Its skull didn't even do a dent, and the tiger slumped unconsciously to the ground.

The Uchiha would have given himself a pat on the back for it, but something was amiss. It was as if his senses were screaming something at him, but he couldn't figure out what. His hesitation left him defenseless against the snake that suddenly pounced on him and sunk its fangs on his arm, pouring untold amounts of venom into his veins. Sasuke could only yank it out of his arm and scream in pain as the venom ran through his bloodstream with no mercy. It was as if his own blood was turning into fire and burning him alive from the inside, and the pain brought him crying to his knees.

"Hmm, I wonder if I went too far… Nah." Anko mumbled to herself and leapt silently to the boy's back. To Sasuke's credit and Anko's dismay, he heard her and drew a kunai to hold between them. The snake princess didn't think a runt like him would ever hear the likes of her coming, so she made a mental note to use stealth more next time. Meanwhile, he looked the boy up and down; he had Uchiha clothes, the Uchiha logo on his shirt and the trademark Uchiha hair. It didn't take a genius to know who he was, and even then she was such genius. That left one big question though.

"What the hell is the Uchiha runt doing here?" she asked the boy, ignoring the pain clearly visible on his face. Seeing he was gritting his teeth too hard to speak, she shrugged and continued talking. "Well, it doesn't really matter. You got bit by my snake you see, so if you wanna live you'll agree to do anything I say and then I'll cure you. Nod once if you accept." she said while playing with a senbon that, unbeknownst to Sasuke, had the cure to her poison.

Sasuke, however, looked at her defiantly. She chuckled and stopped playing with the senbon, then turned serious and looked at him as intensely as she could. "Look, brat. I'm not playing. Accept doing whatever I want or I'll let the poison kill you." she threatened with ice in her voice.

For a moment, the Uchiha didn't move. Anko thought he would finally give in, and when he started coughing up blood she could sense his surrender coming. But the words that came from his mouth were a complete shock to her.

"I-I won't… do your will… Father… I will follow… Itachi's words…" he spoke with such iron in his voice that Anko felt challenged. He was obviously delirious, but there was no mistake that he understood her every word. But he still chose to die rather than to give in.

"...You've got some balls kid." she muttered as Sasuke coughed more blood. He didn't even feel a slight prick on his arm, right next to his snake bite. He didn't feel pain as he passed out and fell into Anko's arms as if he was a sack of potatoes. The almost-jounin sighed as she was about to carry him out of the Forest, mentally wondering how the hell he was going to explain this to the Hokage. She didn't care how the people at the hospital would take it, but the old man could be scary when he wanted to be.

However she thought better of it, and laid him on a bunch of leaves to rest. She wasn't a fan of hospitals, and hell if he was. Anko sat next to him and studied the boy closer; he had bruises all over his arms, some of them only being possible after getting punched. She didn't know who would punch the Uchiha, but she'd find out. Waiting for him to wake up and telling her would be her first option, though.

When Sasuke opened his eyes, he immediately thought of running away. His body was too weak though, and all he managed was to feel like his ribs had broken. After he could breathe again, he heard a woman's laughter coming from right next to him.

"Need some help there to get up trooper?" she said between laughs, while Sasuke just stared at her as if she was crazy. She then noticed the boy wouldn't get the joke and shrugged. "Don't try getting up so quickly again, you'll break something." she commented and looked down to pet a snake she had on her lap.

Sasuke had too much on his mind to think on who the woman was. He didn't even focus on what she was saying. Instead, his mind was on what he had seen before passing out from the venom. Now that he could think clearly he knew his father hadn't been there in the forest and told him that. It must have been the woman he concluded, but he couldn't be sure. He had meant what he said however, even if it had been his real father.

"Who are you?" Sasuke demanded, his voice sounding slightly hoarse as if just waking up. Anko didn't look his way or stop petting her snake, but she still answered.

"Name's Anko and I'm the sexiest kunoichi in existence!" she replied, sounding both cheery and amused with herself at the same time.

"Hn." was Sasuke's sole reply, and he slowly tried standing up. Now that got a reaction out of Anko, whose forehead gained a tick mark as she stood up and towered over him.

"You should show more appreciation for meeting me brat, I saved you after all." she spat out while holding her hands on her hips.

"Hn." Sasuke repeated while ignoring her completely. He was suddenly tied up to a tree by Anko's snake as its owner glared at the Uchiha.

"You wanna die runt?"

"No…"

"You seem to have a death wish"

"I don't."

"Then where's your appreciation?"

"Thanks."

"Just that? Wow, didn't know the Uchihas were so cheap"

And at this Sasuke glared at Anko so intensely she swore she saw a glimpse of red. She didn't back down though, quite the opposite; she got right in his face with a mocking smirk, that pissed Sasuke off to no end.

"Oooooh, touched a nerve. Wanna know what else I can touch?" she said in an obviously fake sweet voice, a kunai in her hand tracing Sasuke's cheek. He was stuck to the tree, forgetting to even breathe as Anko appeared to decide where to cut with her kunai. It was suddenly pressed to his jugular as the snake vixen suddenly scowled.

"That poison could've killed you, and I can rip your neck open and kill you now. You have a fucking death wish, don't you dare contradict me." she spat while noticing Sasuke didn't even squirm. She moved the kunai back just enough so he could speak, but he could still feel its sharpness as if it was just waiting to slash into him.

"I don't wish to die. I simply stand by what I said." he stated with firmness that Anko knew it was true. Being in the T&I department requires such an ability, and she was good at it. But she didn't understand how he would die for such a stupid reason. Still, Anko ordered the snake to disappear with a flicker of her wrist and Sasuke stepped forward, now free of his binds.

"Alright then. But you wasted my training time. You'll have to pay me back by becoming my pin cushion." she said as if she was talking about the weather. Sasuke swore she was crazy, and if she hadn't insulted the Uchiha he would be running away as all hell right now. But she had been right; he was cheap in his appreciation for her help. Even if she had been the one to poison him.

"I apologize. I'll pay back for it somehow." he said, trying to ignore her comment of making him a pin cushion. He hoped to Kami she was kidding. He was wrong.

"Alrighty then, go home and I'll pick you up whenever I want!" she said, suddenly grinning as if she was the happiest girl in the world. She was crazy, Sasuke swore in his head. That didn't mean he'd say it out loud though. With what he thought was a courteous nod, and she saw as a scared-shitless nod, Sasuke turned around and nearly ran out of the forest without hesitation.

When the secretary saw Anko, the kunoichi was already opening the door to the Hokage's office. The woman thought of stopping her, but her memories strongly suggested otherwise. The tokubetsu jounin walked into his office like it was her own room as the man looked up from his paperwork and smiled warmly at her.

"Good evening Anko, have you come to visit?" he asked her, mentally thanking her a million times for both the great view and the break from paperwork, his eternal nemesis.

"Nope, we gotta talk about the Uchiha kid." she said nonchalantly while taking a seat and hanging her feet on the desk. It was so incredibly difficult for the Hokage not to look at their origin that he didn't even try to resist. A senbon stuck itself in his hat just as his eyes were getting to the good part, and with incredible sleight of hand he hid it away while regaining his composure.

"Of course. Is it you've found interest in him?" he asked, secretly wondering whether Anko would ever settle down. He only knew rumors and knew they could be wrong, but if they were true then he was truly worried for her. He hoped better of her, and was one of the only ones to truly do so.

"Bah, he's just a brat. Found him at the forest though." she said while picking her nails with a senbon. Hiruzen almost jumped forward, but instead he took on his Hokage face and stared at Anko impassively.

"Tell me what happened, in detail." he ordered with a tone that didn't admit jokes or objections.

"I'd like to know them myself, but the kid seemed to be hiding from someone that punched him quite bad. He didn't seem bullied, and he's strong-willed. I had a tiger run after him-" she didn't even pause at the Hokage's glare "-and then one of my snakes bit him. I told him to do what I say or die, but he had a hallucination and thought I was his father. He rejected me and fell unconscious. Didn't even try looking under my skirt too…" she spoke and then trailed off as the Hokage processed the information. Knowledge on the last Uchiha was sketchy for everyone, and only he and the boy's doctor knew all the details. Taking a puff from his pipe, he held his hand up to stop Anko from talking as he himself got ready to speak.

"I've heard enough. He isn't suicidal as far as this shows, but he needs closer watch indeed. Do you wish to provide it?" he said while pinning his eyes on hers.

"Huh? Do I look like a fucking day care to you old man?" she asked while nearly standing up from her seat. He chuckled and motioned for her to calm down, then turned serious again.

"I have a hunch those punches you saw were from Naruto. They've been sparring with each other for a while now, so you were right about it not being bullying. Naruto's hardly the bullying type. But those are just spars. Right now Sasuke's training by himself… So I'd like for you to train him" he said, preparing himself for shouting and fighting.

After a minute of insults and shouting flying around the office, they both calmed down and Anko was just about to leave. But a thought crossed her mind and she turned around, looking at the Hokage. "Something I remembered, he said he would follow Itachi's words and no one else's. Could there have been parting words between them?" she said and the Hokage thought about it for a moment.

"Yes, there were parting words. It seems our young Sasuke has a strong sense of duty to living on for his brother. By strong, I suspect an obsession. I am no psychologist Anko, but I am old. I've seen men like him, they drive themselves too hard in the name of the fallen but end up falling themselves. You've seen Kakashi at his worst, you can certainly handle Sasuke. Either way you choose, good luck Anko." he said, and that ended their conversation. Anko nodded absent-mindedly and walked out of the office with much to think about. The Hokage sighed and massaged his temple, then continued his paperwork. And Konoha remained quiet… except for a few jounin and a pissed-off scarred chuunin running after a laughing blond.

The next day saw one Mitarashi Anko standing on a very particular ceiling. Sasuke almost couldn't had been more surprised in his life as he stared at the kunoichi using his roof as her floor. Her grin didn't go away even as a pillow flew right into it, but her entire body poofed and turned into a lamp. The real Anko grabbed Sasuke in a flash and jumped out of the window cackling like a maniac. Or as people said in Konoha, she cackled like Anko. Because if there was one way she made the village know her for, was for her insane laughs that promised blood would be drawn or was being drawn already.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

BIG THANK YOU to Suzu for staying with me as BR and helping me out. Seriously, you rock! And you're as harsh as I need, so hopefully this fanfic comes out that much better. Can't stress how thankful I am for your help.

Just to clear this up: training someone DOES NOT MEAN he or she becomes your apprentice. Sasuke is a 9-year old kid who can barely use the Great Fireball technique that, although very powerful and already needing elemental chakra, is the most basic jutsu an Uchiha is taught to perform. Use it as one of the hints that Sasuke is a prodigy, but you can't use it to argue that Sasuke can be a full-fledged ninja with only this. What does this all mean? Sasuke wouldn't even pass the Academy exam right now, so he is NOT even genin-level in terms of overall skill. There's certain things that age simply doesn't allow anyone to learn or understand. I hope this explanation helps you readers accept Sasuke's entrance to the Academy despite being trained by Anko herself since the age of 9. Also, apprentices are all genin-level or above.

PS: I'm not going to make omakes for every chapter, but I might do one every now and then. If you want, you may write your ideas for them in your reviews and I might even make it into an omake! Because everyone reading this will surely leave a review... right? Right guys? Guys? Is anyone even reading this?

SPOILER ALERT:

Okay, so is Naruto's son called Boruto or Bolt? They both sound similar, but I'm curious about the truth here. And Naruto did NOT play Hide-N-Seek when he was a child, that was more like Hide and hope it's Iruka that finds Naruto instead of the angry jounin that would beat him up or something. Speaks of how Shikamaru and the rest of Konoha still don't understand Naruto and his past.