The Life for Which You Are Looking

by hmweasley

As his seventh year begins, Remus feels as if his life has become little more but a countdown to despair. War is raging outside the walls of Hogwarts, and werewolves are increasingly siding with Voldemort, which has extinguished any hope Remus had of getting a decent job, even with Outstandings on all of his N.E.W.T.s. His expectations aren't high, and they may just get even lower.

16. Interlude: Help Me Understand

Word count: 411

Interlude 6: James Potter

Help Me Understand

James and Lily walked back to the common room alone after Slughorn's Christmas party, Sirius and Remus having escaped long before Lily would let James do the same. He wasn't complaining. Any time to be alone with Lily was time he would accept happily. It was comforting to be walking down the corridor with her hand gripped in his.

As they walked, something that he had been wondering for days—but especially since they'd arrived at the party—itched at his thoughts again. He could no longer keep himself from asking the question.

"Why do you like Slughorn?"

Lily turned to him with a furrowed brow as if she wasn't sure of the answer herself.

"During my first Potions class, Slughorn complimented my potion and told me I had the potential to be a great potion maker. I know that he comes across as...elitist with the club and how he's always trying to make connections, but he's never been anything but kind to me."

He hesitated for a second before replying.

"But that's only because he knows he can use you later once you get connections of your own, right?"

He hated watching Lily's frown deepen, but he knew she couldn't be naive enough for him to be the first to make her think it.

"Eleven-year-old me never considered that. Now, I get that that's what he wants, but I can't forget how comforting it felt to hear I had potential when I was a kid who didn't know how to fit into the wizarding world."

James was silent. He'd never had a problem fitting into the wizarding world, having been part of it since the day he was born, but he tried to see things from Lily's perspective. He could understand how a worried kid would latch onto whoever told her she had potential.

"I don't expect you to agree with me," Lily added before James could come up with something to say. "Slughorn turns off a lot of people for good reason, but… I can't stop being fond of him. Even when I feel like I shouldn't be."

James couldn't bring himself to argue that she should feel differently. He gave a short nod of his head and lifted her hand to kiss the back of it.

"I don't get it," he admitted, "but I'll try to be less rude to him. I guess."

Lily smiled and kissed his cheek, which was enough for him to not regret his promise.