Word count: 2,260

Chapter 21

The Truth Comes Out

The morning after Sirius and Peter's argument, Sirius made it down to breakfast before the other Marauders were awake. Remus and James found him sulking over a bowl of porridge and staring at the platter of bacon in front of him as he slowly raised his spoon to his mouth, chewed, swallowed, and repeated.

Remus settled into the seat beside Sirius as James took the place across from him, pulling Sirius from his own internal musings. He tried to smile at them, but it was distant, as if part of his mind was still somewhere else.

"Good morning," he said. "Have a nice night's sleep?"

"Sure," James said, reaching out for a piece of toast.

Remus went straight for the coffee, pouring himself a generous amount in preparation for the day.

Peter appeared not long after, his hair still damp from a shower. Though he was wearing his usual uniform, the clothes somehow looked nicer on him than usual. His eyes shone as he settled in beside James, not detecting the cautious looks his friends were directing his way.

"Good morning," he said with a smile, not glancing at his friends as he reached for a bowl of scrambled eggs and began scooping them onto his plate.

"Uh, good morning, Peter," Remus said. "Feeling alright?"

Peter glanced at him with one eyebrow raised.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

He looked between all three of the other Marauders curiously as they shared their own looks of confusion.

"Well," James began, "last night…"

Peter's brow crinkled.

"What about last night? It's in the past, and it wasn't even a big deal."

He took a large bite of eggs as if he'd said enough to settle things.

James and Remus both looked at Sirius. When he shrugged in response and took another bite of oatmeal, Remus let out a long breath and tried to relax the tension in his body. Perhaps the worst of that conflict was over and wouldn't rear its ugly head again.

He tried not to focus on how Peter and Sirius didn't speak directly to each other for the rest of the day.

Remus laid in bed, trying with all his might to fall back asleep despite the early evening sun still filtering through the window. Sleeping was the easiest way to spend his recovery time after the full moon, but he'd reached the part of the process where he felt restless but didn't have enough energy to get out of bed. Tossing and turning, he eventually settled on staring at the canopy of his bed and letting his mind wander.

Mostly to Sirius. Even before they'd begun kissing, he'd spent more time thinking about Sirius than his other friends, but it had become especially hard to think about anything else since Remus had learned what it felt like to touch him.

Glancing at the clock, he knew his friends had to be at dinner. It wasn't long after he'd had the realization—though it felt like years—when James hurried through the door of their dormitory.

"Dinner is served," he announced, conjuring a tray and laying the food he'd smuggled from the Great Hall on top of it. "Alas, I only have part of it. Sirius is raiding the kitchens to get the rest. Someone ate all the treacle tart before we could get to it."

"I don't need—"

"Sirius is already getting it, so it's no use."

Remus gave James a half-hearted glare, but he ate his food without voicing any further comment. Sitting propped up against his pillows reminded him how sore he was. The knowledge made him grumpier, and he stabbed at his peas with more force than necessary, turning some of them to mush.

It took him a few moments to realize James was hovering awkwardly on the edge of his bed, wringing his hands and letting his eyes flicker between Remus and a spot on the wall.

"What's up?" Remus asked slowly, watching James as he chewed on a mouthful of the dinner roll James had brought.

James hesitated a second before speaking.

"Things are getting kind of serious between me and Lily."

He moved to sit cross legged on the bed across from Remus. His hands fiddled with the fabric of his trousers as he spoke.

"Honestly, Moony, I think—no, I know—that I want to marry her, and it's killing me that she doesn't know I'm an animagus. I definitely can't ask her to marry me—not that I plan to do that soon exactly, but you know… I can't ask her to marry me if she doesn't know I can turn into a stag. It doesn't seem right."

Remus stared at his dinner as James continued.

"But that's always been your secret more than it's mine. I can't tell her I'm an animagus without explaining why I became an animagus, and I can't do that without your blessing. It's not my place, so I won't tell her if you ask me not to. And I don't want to pressure you. Really, I don't. If you say you don't want her to know, then she doesn't find out, but if you're open to telling her, we can do it together. I'd be there with you."

Remus didn't look up at him right away. He stared at his half-mushed peas and considered the possible outcomes of openly sharing his lycanthrophy with someone on his own terms for the first time.

The thing was, he trusted Lily more than he trusted anyone who wasn't his father or one of the other Marauders. It was impossible to imagine her hurling abuse at him once she learned the truth, and he couldn't say that about anyone else who didn't already know. He knew she'd be kind—perhaps kinder than he deserved—and he wanted her to know the truth.

It wasn't only James who would be relieved when they stopped having to conceal things from her. There had been a number of occasions when Remus had been forced to tread around dangerous topics. But…

"I've never actually told anyone before."

He looked up at James.

"You lot figured it out yourselves. Obviously, my parents knew before I even understood what was happening to me, and Dumbledore told the entire staff before I got here. I've never just said it to anyone before."

James nodded, a frown creasing his forehead.

"I understand. You don't have to…"

He moved to stand from the bed, and Remus leaned forward, ignoring the stab of pain to grab James around the wrist.

"I want to tell her," he said decisively. "It's terrifying, and I don't know if I'll be able to get the words out once she's looking at me, but I do want her to know."

Tension drained out of James, and Remus was thankful that James, at least, could smile at the idea of sharing the truth.

"Besides," Remus continued, "if you really are going to marry her, you're right that she needs to know you turn into an animal. I imagine it'd be painful for you if she found out later on."

James cringed, reaching up to tug at his hair as he considered it. He headed for his own bed, bouncing as he went. Remus watched him, feeling a slight grin grace his lips even as uneasiness tightened his stomach.

"Like I said, Remus, I'll help," James assured him, perched on his own bed as he loosened his tie. "If you freeze up, I can tell her everything. Just say the word, and I'll do it. I'll do whatever you want."

Remus' smile widened.

"Thank you."

James offered him a small nod before they were interrupted by Sirius bursting in with treacle tart held above his head like an idol. As he threw himself across Remus' legs and demanded a kiss in payment for the gift, Remus promptly forgot his unease.

Lily was surprisingly eager to take a walk on the grounds with James and Remus late in the evening, not mentioning even once that they were going out dangerously close to curfew. That was when Remus knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she knew they were about to confess something, and her eagerness to hear it outweighed her loyalty to the rules.

They made it to an area of the grounds that was never crowded, even in the middle of the day, before Remus worked up the courage to speak.

He didn't stop to say it. If he did, he didn't think the words would come out like they were meant to, so he merely blurted it out as he continued to put one foot in front of the other, staring ahead of him at their path.

"When I was five, I was bitten by a werewolf."

Lily gasped, but it was muted compared to what Remus had expected.

"Five?" she repeated.

Remus glanced at her, finding nothing but sympathy in her eyes. It became easier to breathe, especially when James was beside her smiling as if he'd never been more satisfied with life.

"Five," Remus confirmed. "I didn't know until later that the werewolf who bit me was angry at my dad, so he came after me for revenge."

"That's terrible," Lily whispered.

Remus wasn't sure if the words had been for him or herself, but he responded.

"It was."

He tried to push his own thoughts about it from his mind.

"For a long time, my parents didn't think I'd be able to go to Hogwarts, but when I was ten, Dumbledore showed up at our house to personally invite me. My parents didn't even believe him at first, but he'd set up a safe place for me to transform. In the Shrieking Shack."

He paused again, taking in Lily's reaction. She looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding her head.

"That makes sense. All the ghosts people hear, are those you?"

"Yes. The Whomping Willow hides a secret passage. I can't get passed the trees' branches as a wolf. When I'm transformed, my mind changes with my body. Nothing the wolf thinks is logical. At least not according to human logic."

Another pause.

"You're not surprised about the willow bit, are you?" James asked Lily, a wicked smirk on his lips.

"No," she admitted with an unsure shrug of her shoulders. "Not after what happened with Severus in fifth year. I knew there had to be a reason Sirius sent him to the Whomping Willow. Other than it just being convenient for pummeling him."

"Yeah, Snape's been a massive pain in Remus' backside for years. Hasn't he, Moony?"

Remus gave an uncomfortable shrug. Most days, there were plenty of nasty things he'd say about Snape, but discussing how he'd almost killed Lily's former best friend once when he'd only just told her he was a werewolf was not how he wanted his confession to go. Just thinking about it still made him feel nauseous.

"So, now you know," Remus concluded, shrugging awkwardly.

Lily gave him a small smile and stepped forward to hug him. Remus stiffened before sinking into the hug. Over Lily's shoulder, he could see James' beaming face, and Remus found himself smiling back.

"That's not everything," he said as he pulled away. "James has something to tell you too."

Lily looked confused for the first time since they'd left the castle. She turned to James with one eyebrow raised. James straightened, puffing his chest out slightly as he prepared to tell his part of the story.

"Sirius, Peter, and I figured out Remus was a werewolf in second year, and we decided we wanted to help. It took a while, but in our fifth year, we became animagi."

This time, Lily's surprise was enough that she took several steps away from James. Remus reached out a hand to steady her as James gave a short, nervous laugh, reaching up to tug on his hair.

"Animagi? At fifteen?" Lily breathed. "You can't be serious?"

James shrugged.

"Yeah, it's true. It took years, and it was really hard, but all three of us can turn into animals. Peter's a rat. Dead useful for getting past the Whomping Willow. Sirius is a dog. No surprise there. And," he paused, giving a slight shrug of his shoulders, "I'm a stag."

Lily mouthed 'a stag' to herself as she stared at her boyfriend.

"You would be a stag," she muttered after a few seconds of silence.

James' posture straightened at the comment, and he laughed, reaching to pull Lily forward. She went easily, a fond smile on her lips as she looked up at him. A second later, her brow creased.

"I'm assuming this is all very illegal?"

"Very, very illegal," James confirmed, doing his best to look chastened.

Lily sighed.

"I'll admit, it was shocking at first, but I can't say I'm surprised that you'd do something like that for your friend. All three of you are good, caring people."

"They are," Remus said, unable to help himself. Both of them turned to smile at him.

"You won't tell anyone then?" James asked.

Lily narrowed her eyes.

"Did you think I was going to?"

"Well," James said, putting on a falsey serious voice, "you are Head Girl. We don't want to put you in any difficult situations."

Lily rolled her eyes.

"There are wizards out there murdering Muggleborns. You boys being illegal animagi should be the least of the Ministry's concerns."

With a quick laugh, James dropped a kiss to her lips. Smiling at them fondly, Remus excused himself, leaving them to discuss what Lily had learned alone.