-Four days later-
"Hey, look who's finally here, you could give my sensei competition in being late Shikamaru," Naruto said excitedly.
The group of them- Shino, Hinata, Choji, Naruto, and now finally Shikamaru, were in the group's 'secret base'. In reality, it was just a warehouse attic that everyone else had apparently forgotten existed. It had been disgusting when they found it, with dust, mold, bugs, and spiders after the bugs. But with the enthusiasm of youth and some cleaning supplies it was eventually deemed acceptable. The joke was that it was their 'safe house', but since they were ninja, they were being somewhat serious when they referred to it as such. Naruto knew that the ANBU who used to watch him knew of it, which meant so did the Hokage, but never worried the group with that.
It was a fairly large single room space, maybe 20 feet on each side, though they'd never bothered to measure it. As time had gone by without anyone chasing them off, comforts had been added. Yard sales and the dump were the origin of most of the furniture, but it was mostly just discolored and fairly comfortable. After they had found out about the Kyubii, the group had pooled together money and bought a custom seal that converted Naruto's chakra into electricity and stored it. That had solved the electricity problem.
Now the place was practically lavish, what every kid could want in a hideout. There was a small fridge, a few fans, a radio, and a freezer for ice cream. They had stockpiled food, both to keep Choji happy, and because it was never too early to be paranoid.
"Yeah, I've heard your teacher is famous for many things, including being chronically tardy."
"You heard right, it wasn't such a big deal the first day or two, but it got to be really annoying. I thought about trying some behavior modification, but he'd probably kick my ass if I actually started to annoy him."
"Although being stuck with Kiba is trying, Kurenai-sensei is quite pleasant, isn't she Hinata?" Shino put forward.
"Yes, she's quite amazing, despite being a relatively new jonin. I'm glad to have her."
"I can guess what Shikamaru's opinion is already; how are you finding team ten life Choji?"
"Not bad, despite Ino. Now that her 'true love' isn't around her constantly, she's actually focusing on being a ninja. It's weird, Asuma-sensei trains us very hard sometimes, but other times he lets us relax all day, watch clouds, play shogi. He's pretty laid back."
"Sounds like you both should get on with him well."
"We do," Shikamaru stated.
"Kakashi sensei is a pretty awesome ninja, but he's sort of an annoying guy. We'll learn a lot from him though. Surprisingly, our team gets on pretty well. I thought one of us would be dead by now when I first heard the team selections, but Sasuke made it unmistakably clear he wasn't interested, so that was taken care of. I admit, I didn't like him much in class, but he's not too bad."
"I think he's still an ass," Shino deadpanned, and everyone sniggered.
"Meh, it's more complicated than that. I've told you the rumors that his entire clan was murdered, right? I'm pretty sure they're true, and that it was by his brother Itachi."
"Damn. That sucks." The group paused to fit that fact into what they knew of Sasuke.
"Yeah, and he's not been so bad once he was out of class. You know I acted differently in front of classmates than I do with you guys… On another note, have most of the D-plus-ranks sucked for you guys?"
Everyone looked at him as if he was crazy. "Have you not yet caught Tora?" Choji asked.
Naruto looked at them and started to laugh.
"What's so funny?"
"Heh, it's just that Tora was our first mission, and probably the easiest so far."
"What? How did you do it? You must tell us!" Shikamaru grabbed Naruto by the shirt. "I never want to that much work again for anything less than an A-rank!"
"Calm down, of course I'll tell you. Although this does rely on it being a Tuesday, and Tora is smart enough that she might not fall for it again."
Choji grabbed some snacks from a cabinet and passed them around as Naruto began the tale of catching Tora.
oooooo
"Wow, you are so lucky," Choji declared at the end of the recounting. "We're partially a capture specialist team, and we had a much tougher time than that."
"I rarely find myself annoyed or angered by others' success, but this may count as one of those times," Shino said.
"So if that was your easiest mission, what made the others harder?" Hinata asked curiously.
"Just to make sure he hasn't been screwing with us, the reason they're D-plus-ranks is because they are either harder than Ds, or because our teachers are supposed to make it harder, right?"
"Yes, Kurenai-sensei made us do the missions with constraints, or using chakra control exercises while completing the mission."
"THAT FUCKER!"
Everyone waited for Naruto to explain, they were used to his quirks. The blond had his eyes closed and was clenching his fists rhythmically.
"Sensei doesn't do things half assed. He said he was going to take a page from my book, and used shadow clones to attack us whenever we let our guard down, or at the worst times. And I know he's been reserving the most unpleasant jobs too. So far, we've had to strip the paint off a village wall and repaint it, dig up a massive septic tank and repair it, muck out the entire Inuzuka animal compound, and unclog a storm drain. During which, he would attack us, almost always getting the three of us to fall in something extremely unpleasant. The painting job he actually attacked us while Sasuke and I were on the ladders, and we dropped the chemical paint stripper on Sakura. Thankfully, all of us had been told to wear our worst things, but the stuff was so strong it was burning her skin. She had almost stripped naked before Kakashi used a water jutsu, then shunshin'ed her to the hospital. He eased up a little after that, but it's still hell."
"That's insane, you ought to tell the Hokage!"
"You guys don't realize how well informed Jiji is to stuff within the village. He knows and isn't doing anything. Either he doesn't care, or he approves. As much as I hate it, my situational awareness has grown so much it's amazing. And I'm sure the disgusting jobs are to get us used to unpleasantness. I understand him, it just sucks going through it."
"Still, that sounds irresponsible of him, Sakura could've gotten hurt."
"She did. But he took care of it. I'm never telling Sakura, but I wouldn't put it past him to have deliberately done it. Sakura had changed a lot after Sasuke told her to piss off, but after the initial shock wore off she'd do the work, but complain about it a lot. Something changed when she got back from the hospital, Kakashi must have talked with her or something."
The group mulled over that. Would their teachers intentionally hurt them if it would make them better ninja in the long term? They came to the disturbing conclusion that they might.
"Troublesome. Our teachers are tasked with making us the best assets the village can use. To what lengths would they go if they rationalized it by saying it would save our lives someday?"
"I don't think Kurenai-sensei would do that," Hinata said. "She doesn't seem like a person who could hurt us, even if it would make us stronger."
"Hinata," Shino refuted, "Kurenai is a Jonin, if she thought it was best to do so, she would do it, regardless of her emotional attachments. Furthermore, I wouldn't want a sensei unable to do so."
"What?"
"Pain is transitory, no matter how unbearable or unpleasant it may be. Death is final. Whether there is something after is irrelevant, I like this state of being and wish to reside in it as long as possible. If pain now means less later, or more importantly, staying alive longer, it is a good deal."
"But where do you draw the line, what if cutting off a finger would make you a better ninja?"
"Now we are getting philosophical. You must make a decision. Do the benefits my action causes outweigh the costs? Is that not what all decisions come down to? If cutting off my finger gave me ten extra years of life, I'd do it in a heartbeat. A day, though? I would have to contemplate that." Shino pontificated.
"We're getting off track, we came here to hang out today, have fun; not hold philosophical debates."
"You don't find philosophical debates fun Naruto?" Shikamaru asked facetiously.
"Not unless the topic is ramen related. Anyway, we all know you and Shino are master debaters."
Everyone else, excluding Shino, groaned. "Thank you, Naruto, I take some pride in my debate skills."
The group laughed now, the pun obviously going over Shino's head.
Shikamaru sighed, "Poor Naruto, he'll never be a cunning linguist."
Naruto immediately retorted with, "Maybe, but I'm sure to do many cunning stunts in the future!"
Everyone except Shino again, nearly fell over snickering.
"Would someone please explain?"
"Dirty puns Shino, you wouldn't get it," Choji managed between chuckles.
"Really? Ahem:
There was a young plumber named Lee
Who was plumbing a girl by the sea
She said 'Stop your plumbing,
There's somebody coming!'
Said the plumber, still plumbing, 'Yes, me!' "
Shino's recitation was met by silence. Once the odd juxtaposition of Shino and dirty limericks wore off, the group applauded the stoic boy's performance.
"Where did you learn that?"
"It was written on a wall in my clan's compound. I've tried to avoid thinking about which of my relatives put it there."
"Man, next thing we know, Hinata is going to be singing dirty drinking songs."
"If I ever learn any I'll be sure to share them, Naruto-kun."
"Hah! Good for you."
There had been a period where it was hard for Hinata to fit in as they had grown, the only girl in a group of five, but she had overcome her strict upbringing. While she wasn't quite 'one of the boys', she was rarely excluded from events. There were times the boys got together without her, but she understood that.
"So has anyone had any interesting missions besides me? Come on, something must have happened to one of you."
"I got infected from Tora's claws scratching me all over after I missed with a shadow bind."
"Ew, didn't the mednin take care of it?"
"Yes, but until I went there I was covered in puffy red lines all over."
"Man, normally I'd laugh at the mental image, but that just sucks."
"Troublesome doesn't begin to describe it."
"On our team, Akamaru got hurt by Tora as well," Hinata said. "As fierce as he can be, Tora just didn't care. I never thought I'd be intimidated by a cat."
"Is he all right?" Choji asked.
"He's fine now, but he played it up for pets. I couldn't resist, even knowing that."
"Man, it's ironic. Anywhere else in the world, Kiba would have the perfect partner to pickup girls with in Akamaru. But here, it would be way too obvious," Choji pondered.
"Hmmmm," Naruto pondered, a familiar sight to his friends.
"Troublesome, Naruto has that look in his eyes."
"The 'hit the deck' look, or the 'get an alibi' look?"
"Hardy har. Give me a second," the blond said distractedly.
Naruto casually made two clones, which made a chain of held hands with the original. The next moment, Naruto was holding a leash connected to an adorable Chihuahua.
"Do you think this would work, Hinata?"
Hinata's eyes were wider than usual, with a large smile. "Puppy!"
She snatched the Narudog up onto her lap and started petting it enthusiastically. The other boys smiled knowingly while Naruto started to blush.
"I think it worked quite well, wouldn't you say Choji?"
"I would indeed Shika, would you say it worked Shino?"
"Most indubitably. It looks as if it's working better than the inventor imagined."
Hinata was giving belly rubs now, seemingly forgetting the fact it was Naruto, though the only one who believed that was the blond. While she had grown more backbone as part of the group, her deviousness had grown like a weed. The Narudog was enjoying it just as a dog would, and was kicking it's legs and wagging for all it was worth. Hinata picked it up to face level and kissed it on the nose, then giggled as it licked her face. "You are so cute, yes you are! I wonder if I could take you home with me?"
Naruto choked, but was able to recover after a few coughs. His ears were bright red. He wanted to cancel the clone before it got more awkward, but Hinata seemed to be enjoying the little dog so much he felt compelled to let it stay.
"I don't think you'd fit on my head, like Kiba does with Akamaru, but maybe I could carry you like this?"
The girl unzipped her jacket a bit, and laid the Narudog between her shirt and jacket, before zipping it back up. This time even the clone was embarrassed, stopping its movement. Choji had large eyes, not expecting Hinata to be so bold; while Shikamaru and Shino understood that as long as she could pretend she didn't realize what she was doing, she felt free to express herself.
Naruto had his eyes closed, and was considering meditation, whether to enhance or block the memory he was unsure of yet.
Hinata jyuken'ed the leash, popping it. "How long can he last, Naruto-kun?"
Naruto thought about it, which was more difficult at the moment. "Well, he was a joke, I didn't put much chakra into him, an hour?"
"Oh, that's too bad. You'll have to make this guy occasionally for me to pet, he's even cuter than Akamaru!"
"Umm, I guess so," Naruto relented.
"Good! What should I name you?" She asked, squeezing the dog to herself.
The dog suddenly popped, making Naruto freeze and a little blood to come out his nose.
"Are you all right, Naruto-kun, why did your clone pop?"
"Um… that is… er…"
"Oh just kiss him already! You aren't ever getting a better chance than this!" Choji shouted.
It was Hinata's turn to freeze and blush. She hadn't wanted it to come out this way. She wasn't sure if she wanted Naruto to understand or not.
Not thinking, Naruto asked confusedly, "Huh, what are you talking about? She likes Shino, right?"
Everyone fell over, unable to comprehend how the blond came to that conclusion.
"What? No! Why do you think that?" Shikamaru asked.
"Well she seemed so enthusiastic about being on a team with Shino and… me... … … Oh."
"Yeah 'oh', you blockhead. I can't believe we had to practically smack you across the face with it. Now the three of us are going to leave and you two are going to talk."
Hinata still hadn't moved or said a thing. Even after everyone but Naruto had left, there was an uncomfortable silence.
Naruto didn't really know what to do. He knew he wanted a girlfriend, eventually a family, but it always seemed a distant prospect, compared to training and so on. He had no idea how to proceed.
"So you like me?"
Hinata managed to nod.
"But you've never been able to tell me." She nodded again.
Naurto sat and thought about past events, "Shit, it's been for a while, and I never noticed it." Another nod. "Why the hell didn't the guys tell me for you? If it's obvious to me in hindsight, they must have known for a while!"
"I asked them not to," Hinata said quietly. "I thought that I needed to do it, to prove to myself I was strong enough to do so. They were going to tell you in a year if I still hadn't told you by then."
"Why couldn't you ask me? I'd have said yes immediately! I know it would have been tough for you when the group got together at first, but you- we've all come so far since then."
"You'd like to be with me?" she asked with hope in her voice.
"Sure! You're awesome Hinata, never think otherwise. I was a little jealous of Shino when I thought you liked him." The blond started laughing after a moment.
"What?"
"Irony. I was planning on getting you alone and asking if you wanted help talking to Shino today."
Hinata smiled, then started giggling, finally breaking through her anxiety. "Oh, that would have turned out well."
Naruto stood up out of his chair, "Come here."
Hinata got up, nervous again, was he going to kiss her? When she didn't move for a few seconds, Naruto moved next to her, and wrapped his arms around her in a hug.
They stood like that for a minute. No thunder crashed, no fireworks went off, neither could say that the earth stopped turning for a second. But it did feel good to be like that, and maybe that was enough.
oooooo
Shikamaru, Choji, and Shino put down their binoculars, this was private. It was one thing to make certain it turned out all right, but it looked like it had now, so it was time to leave them alone for real.
"Well, assuming her father doesn't decide to seal her, leading to Naruto unleashing the fur butt and killing us all, this turned out pretty well," Shikamaru said sarcastically.
"Yes, while politics are always present in the Hyuuga clan, I doubt that sequence of events will happen. Perhaps if they eloped, but I don't see that happening,"
Shino predicted.
"They're probably going to be a while, we should get some barbecue," Choji suggested.
"Sure, when we're done we can come back and see if they're ready for us."
oooooo
The pair stood there, hugging, leaning on one another. "This feels nice."
"Yes, it does."
"You know I have next to no idea what I'm supposed to do as a boyfriend, right?"
Hinata snorted, "Because I have years of experience as a girlfriend."
"Fair enough. I guess we'll figure it out as we go."
"Naruto, we need to talk about the other reason I never approached you."
"Huh?"
Hinata pulled away and sat down again. "My father. I don't know what he thinks of you. If I were in any other clan I would just ignore him, but if he disapproves, he might try to seal me as punishment."
"I told you what I'd do if he tried. That was for my best friend, for my girlfriend I'd stop at nothing."
"That's sweet Naruto, but not realistic. Assuming you could kick my entire clan's ass, you'd be seen as a threat by the council. And as strong as you are, if you couldn't make your sensei take you serious during your test, even with its help you can't defeat my whole clan."
"So what does that mean?"
"… This is a horrible thing to ask, but can we keep our relationship secret?"
"… I guess, concerning the alternatives are not being together or risking your inheritance."
Hinata winced, "I'm sorry, I hate the way my clan is so much sometimes. I want to change it, but that means playing by their rules for now."
Naruto grabbed her hand, "Hey, it's all right; someday I'm going to be famous and your Dad will be begging for us to be together!"
Hinata made a tiny grin, "I can't wait."
"And this might be fun, we can go on dates disguised. And we won't have to pretend around the guys."
"You have no idea how much lighter I feel Naruto, this has been worrying me for so long. Thank you." She stood up and dragged him to the couch. They sat again, and Hinata initiated the hug this time. "You know how I was when we were kids, I was constantly told I was a failure. There you were in class, often screwing up, but never afraid to get up and try again, and telling your enemies to piss off at the same time. You were so strong, and I admired that."
"That was just a mask I wore to keep from breaking down."
"At least you were able to do that, I wanted to be like you, and I watched and realized just how special you were."
"Hinata, I know you want this to stay secret, but the Hokage is going to know sooner or later. Can I talk to him? I need some advice."
"… Sure, he'll understand. There's no reason he'd tell my father."
"Good, I might be able to talk to Iruka, but although he could help me with some things, I can talk to Jiji better."
"I guess you have a lot to think about, with this dropped on you so suddenly."
"Well, it's better than you moping about, and me still being clueless."
The two sat with an arm around each other and enjoyed the closeness. Both of them had lacked much physicality growing up, neither the orphanage staff nor the branch-house caretakers really able to replace a mother. So just leaning against each other was filling a need that the two hadn't even been aware of.
Suddenly Naruto swore. "Damn."
"What?"
"Oh, nothing important… It was just that I was thinking about sneaking Sasuke into a striptease parlor as a buddy bonding exercise. Now it would be awkward if I'm dating you."
Hinata stared at the boy before rolling her eyes, an interesting exercise when performed by a Hyuuga. "Boys… At least you realized you needed my permission first."
"!"
oooooo
"Think we should go back yet?" Choji asked as they came out of the restaurant.
"Sure, they've had enough time to talk, it's been nearly two hours."
Shino nodded in agreement.
The boys jumped up and casually ninja-ed their way back to the hideout. Coming upon the boarded up window, they looked around then knocked on it. Getting no response, Choji moved a piece of wood and inserted a key. Unlocking it, he pulled the entire window out on a hinge, boards and all. The three boys went inside and smiled at the sight they found. Hinata and Naruto were asleep on the couch, leaning against each other. Shino shut the window and walked up to Naruto, tapping his arm gently.
"Naruto, it is time to wake up. We still have 'hanging out' to accomplish."
The sleeping boy opened his eye a crack, then froze stiff for a moment until he remembered why he was laying against Hinata. Smiling, he carefully got up and stretched. "Thanks guys, we needed some personal time; damn, I'm hungry, we miss lunch?"
"Yes, I'm afraid we've eaten."
"Oh well, I feel amazing, like I slept for a week! We have food here anyway."
The blond leaned down and shook Hinata's hand, waiting until just after she awoke to kiss her forehead. She smiled and opened her eyes, then blushed when she realized they had an audience.
"Apparently we've slept long enough, the gang wants to hang out with us some more. Oh, and we missed lunch."
Hinata let him pull her to her feet, "Well, we can heat up some soup or something here. That was worth a little hunger anyway, I feel great."
"What were you guys thinking of doing anyway? We've seen both the movies at the theater, I haven't prepared any pranks, I'm not sparring on my day off…"
"I was hoping for some board games," Choji suggested. "How long has it been since we played Ninja-Monopoly?"
No one seemed to have any problems with it, so they set it up while Naruto and Hinata microwaved some food. The group was extremely proud of the microwave. While most everything had come from the dump, microwaves were expensive luxuries for the rich. The adventure they had gone through to get that microwave would have earned their place as genin years ago if it wouldn't have put them in jail first. It was also so embarrassing that the group had made a vow of silence on the subject.
oooooo
Ninja-Monopoly, if you've never played, is the board game equivalent of Calvin-ball, only slightly more organized. At minimum, it requires many dice, two decks of cards, a Monopoly board and all the pieces, and to really play it right, a working game of Mousetrap and Clue. Cheating is encouraged, though if you're caught you're in trouble, and betting is almost always mandatory, though usually not for money.
The group had been playing for four hours now, and the game was nearing a conclusion, though few would be able to discern this.
"I rolled an eight, which puts me on Marvin Gardens; I bid two queens and an eight of spades to Mr. Mustard in the library with a kunai," the lucky blond announced.
A chorus of groans answered the proclamation. Naruto smiled and dropped the ball down the chain reaction of simple machines, ending with a plastic net catching a mouse.
"That gets me 750 bucks which I will spend on a hotel in Candy Land. Since I rolled double fours I'll go again!"
The boy rolled, getting double sixes.
"Three doubles, go to jail or pay three random cards and go back three spaces on Candy Land," Shikamaru declared.
"I'll take the second option," the blond said, laying three cards on the table.
The teens started laying down cards, twice around the table until Choji put down a seven of diamonds, then Shikamaru put down a six. Shino laid down another seven, immediately causing everyone to slap the pile of cards.
"Hinata's on the bottom, getting the stack, and next roll," Shino announced. She collected the stack and the dice, and rolled them across the table. "They're in the double point area."
"I rolled four, landing on go, earning 400 bucks. I bid three sevens, a one-eyed jack, 200 bucks and a piece of bubble gum for the little dog on Chocolate Mountain with the noose."
Shikamaru laid down the final seven, and the two proceeded to rock-paper-scissors for the pot. Hinata won, causing all the boys to groan.
"I think I'll trade the four sevens in for two hotels and the hotrod, which gives me the cheese. I win!"
"Ugh, now I remember why we haven't played it for a while, if Naruto doesn't out luck us, Hinata will out ninja us."
"Let's see, for punishments, you three get to buy me cinnamon buns every morning for the next week," The boys let out a sigh, Hinata generally picked easy punishments, unlike Naruto; his would be both hilarious and utterly demeaning. "-and Naruto gets to rub my feet."
Choji let out a wolf whistle, the three non-massagers grinning. "My, aren't you going a little fast Hinata-chan? Soon we'll have to start knocking on doors around you two," Shikamaru said.
Both Hinata and Naruto blushed crimson.
Trying to change the topic, Naruto asked, "When's everyone expected back? I was hoping to talk to the Hokage today about stuff, but I can wait a day if no one needs to show up for dinner. Let's see, it's a bit after five now?"
"Good point. While I'm not expected until seven, I'm afraid I have duties involving my hive I need to take care of soon," Shino apologized.
"My mother is being troublesome again, wants me to clean my room. It's not like I don't know where everything is…"
"Most of the clan is in the village tonight, so we're having potluck," said Choji. Everyone nodded, knowing the importance of dinner to the Akimichi clan. Missing dinner normally was frowned upon, but there were very few excuses that would get you out of a 'dinner event'. Most clans would call them formal dinners, but there was very little formal about most Akimichi meals. Potluck and cookouts were not to be missed. On the other hand, the cooking was so good, few members ever wanted to miss it anyway.
"Father expects me at six for training before dinner. I feel optimistic, perhaps I can surprise him today."
"Huh, so all it takes for you to get spunky is for me to agree to go out with you huh? I guess we'll have to do that more often."
"Wouldn't that require breaking up with me first? I'm not sure I could do an on again off again relationship."
Naruto grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "Alright, it was a silly idea. But you'll need to go home in half an hour, in which case I'm going to see the old man."
Shino buzzed a moment, then stated, "As we cannot finish anything of significance in thirty minutes, I will attend to my hive. It was good meeting up again. We should do it next week, schedules permitting." The boy headed out.
"I'm going to go cloud watching, I haven't had nearly enough time for that lately."
"I'll come with you," Choji said, "you two have fun with the foot rub, but don't make us uncles, okay?"
The remaining pair sputtered indignantly as Shikamaru and Choji left the hideout, then looked at each other and blushed.
"So, um, I guess you should sit on the couch and take off your shoes."
oooooo
After an enjoyable, if embarrassing, foot rub, Hinata had headed home, and Naruto went to talk to the closest thing he had to a father.
"Hey Satoshi-san, is the Hokage in?"
The chunin looked up, confused that the blond brat wasn't barging in like usual.
"Yes, may I ask him if he's available to see you?"
"Sure, I don't want to interrupt him."
Satoshi's eyebrow rose, and he performed a discreet kai, in case this was a genjutsu. When nothing changed, he grew a worried look, and pressed the button that connected to the Hokage's office. Naruto couldn't hear what he said to the Hokage, there were seals incorporated into many aspects of the tower. The secretary nodded and let go of the button. "The Hokage will see you now."
Naruto nodded, pushing open the doors and heading in.
"What's wrong Naruto-kun?" Sarutobi asked once the doors shut.
The boy surprised the old man by dropping down and giving a formal supplication. "I request advice, and perhaps aid, Hokage-sama. I don't know who else to turn to."
"… Get up, it can't be that bad. What's happened?"
"… Apparently Hyuuga Hinata has had a crush on me for many years, and while I have agreed to court her, her clan's politics and my ignorance of a male's romantic duties may lead to disaster."
Hiruzen sat back down in his chair, a hand covering his face. Eventually Naruto could hear muffled laughter coming from the old man, and he looked up from his position to see his prospective source of knowledge trying not to burst into guffaws and tears.
"I'm being serious, damn it! Hinata says she could be sealed if this disturbs the stick up Hiashi's ass! I need advice! On top of that, I've realized that Hinata's psychological state was as messed up as mine as a child, yet I don't believe she's had any professional help!"
The Hokage held his breath for a moment and ceased his mirth as quickly as one would expect the 'God of Shinobi' to be able. "I'm sorry Naruto, it's just that seeing you like this, and learning you finally found out and everything- ah, that added a few months to my life, I'm sure."
Naruto was starting to get annoyed, "JIJI-"
"Quiet. Of course I'll help. Let's take one thing at a time. You two are together now, it's about damn time. Which leads me to point b, everyone except you knew she had a crush on you. Well, everyone over 18 that had half a brain. If Hiashi doesn't know of her feelings towards you I'll give the Tsuchikage a back rub."
"Why didn't anyone tell me? At least you or Iruka-sensei should have said something!"
"You needed to figure it out between the two of you. How did it happen any way?"
Naruto told him the story, including everything he could remember up to falling asleep, to help the old man give him better advice; he knew he'd be amused by the dog part anyway.
Hiruzen sat, eyes closed, digesting what he had heard. "Let's get the easy stuff out of the way. You say you don't know what to do as a boyfriend, do you think everyone else got an instruction manual?"
"No, but I haven't had a family to learn from, I didn't even have many friends until I was nine or ten."
"Alright, so you will have a slight disadvantage at being a father, but many children grow up in dysfunctional families, and have to overcome memories of abusive fathers or chronically depressed mothers. But you're with everyone else at being a boyfriend. Everyone figures this out on their own for the most part. Haven't you read? Popular culture is full of examples of what to do, and mostly what not to do in romance. You have good instincts, you knew to hug her when she was nervous, even the fact you're concerned enough to get help shows you will be a good boyfriend. Calm down, and everything should be all right; you're dating, not moving in together."
"All right, it's just, I want this to work, but no one ever tells you really useful dating advice. It's either ways to get into a girl's pants, or useless stuff like 'act natural'."
"You already caught the girl Naruto, just by being you. Acting natural is exactly what you should do. On to harder problems, Hinata's mental state and the clan politics are tied together. You probably missed the significance when I told you that Hiashi certainly knows of her attraction towards you."
"But-"
"Let me finish. All Academy students are required to see a psychiatrist twice a year, unless their clan opts them out. The old laws allow the major clans much latitude, or else that caged bird crap wouldn't be around now. The Hyuuga never allow their children to be analyzed for various excuses, which add up to 'piss off and mind your own business'. I've never liked that, but I've allowed it because if any ninja or academy student showed bad enough signs, I have executive powers allowing me to put them into special care. If I wished, I could even remove them from the clan, though the political fallout from that would be disastrous.
"Hinata though is a special case. Never before has an heir of an extant clan needed help so much. Sasuke's clan is no longer around, and while there was an Uzumaki clan long ago, everyone thought they were gone before you. You popped up out of nowhere, so to speak."
Naruto filed that away, but decided to stay focused; they could speak of that later.
"The only way I could help Hinata is if I were to remove her from the clan. If I did anything less, they would put her in the branch house. As she is their only hope for a better future any time soon I have been reluctant to do so, especially considering the political ramifications. What I did to protect you stirred the pot and caused a mess, though you were worth it. But to forcibly remove a clan heiress from the clan would have disastrous effects. I would still do it if necessary, but she has gotten much better after the five of you got together."
"Okay, but is there no way to get her some help without her father finding out? The way she spoke about me, it's like she was obsessed with me when she was younger. I'm not going to leave her, but is her attraction to me even healthy?"
"I understand, what you described is disturbing news. While I think she's gotten over a lot of it with the help of you and your friends, I might be able to get her some covert appointments. Now to the last problem.
"The series of events Hinata laid out sounds superficially plausible, but is nearly impossible. Your value as a jinchuriki is well accepted by the council after I weeded out the idiots shortly after your birth. While if you did kill all the Hyuuga I wouldn't be able to protect you, even defeating them and destroying their compound could be put down to 'clan disagreements' since you are technically the head of the Uzumaki clan. Don't get a big head, since you're the only member, you have no real power, that's just the excuse they would use to ignore your actions. The only way you'd have no value left to the politicians would be if you released the Kyuubi."
"… I promised I would do anything to protect her and I meant it."
Immediately a burst of air slapped against Naruto's face, knocking the boy off his chair.
"The hell do you think you are, boy? The Kyuubi is not something to bluff someone with! No one in this village is worth releasing the horror of it upon the masses again! Not me, not you, not Hinata! Fucking hell, never even hint at that in front of another ninja, or my protection or not you'll be dead!"
Naruto returned to his seat, looking successfully reproached. "Fine, but I will do anything else I can if Hiashi tries to seal her."
"Did I not practically give you my blessing to, explaining why you'd get away with it? I know you're anxious, but you need to think!" The Hokage paused and calmed himself.
"If you had let me finish, I would have explained why it was unlikely for this to occur anyway. As I've mentioned, he knows of her attraction, and yet he has done nothing drastic when she joined your group of close friends. If anything, he's become more lenient towards her recently. That means one of a few things. It is possible he approves of you, though unlikely on the surface. He understands the truths behind your sealing to a degree very few others do. For reasons we will speak of when you are older, he could see your union to his daughter as a positive thing.
"Alternatively, he may no longer see Hinata as a potential heir. While he seems the epitome of Hyuuga coldness, his actions towards his daughters have affection underlying them. There can be no other reason that either Hinata or Hanabi is not already sealed, he is playing one off the other to prolong the time they have left before the inevitable. If he no longer thinks Hinata can be the head of the clan then he will allow her as much happiness as he can, both before and after she is sealed. While her life will change fairly drastically, as Hiashi's daughter, she will be separate from the rest of the branch house, and immune to anyone using the seal on her. Hizashi Hyuuga was Hiashi's younger twin brother and was sealed; although he met an unfortunate end, he was widely respected and his brother kept his council frequently.
"Another possibility, both likely and pleasant, he sees her improving from being around you and your friends. Like many ninja, and especially clan heads, he is pragmatic. He could loath you and still allow you both to be together if it benefitted the Hyuuga clan.
"Of course, finally, he could just be ignoring her affection to you, and if he discovers you both dating he might forbid your relationship."
Naruto asked, "Alright, given all that, what is my best plan moving forward?"
"Do what you planned, have a secret relation. When he figures it out, which he will eventually, he will either summon you or allow it. If he summons you, go to him strong and proud, not as his equal, but not begging forgiveness. Talk to him and see what happens. You will be safe as long as you don't do something stupid. Remember, he can tell if you're lying as easily as you can read a book, so be honest with him, or omit when possible."
Naruto went over everything the old man had told him, then got up and bowed.
"Thank you Jiji, so much."
"Certainly Naruto. I will direct Kurenai-san to suggest to Hinata to meet with the psych-nin. I promise I'll handle that, so you shouldn't talk to her about it unless she brings it up. Now I've had a long day, so let's go home."
"Hai!"
Naruto headed out of the tower back to his apartment to make dinner. He understood what Hinata felt like earlier. During the entire game, it felt like he was carrying a lead boulder on his back, full of his worries. Some of them remained, but learning that Hinata was most likely overestimating the severity of the problem was so relieving. Heck, today went so well he'd cook extra vegetables tonight. That ought to make his med-nin happy.
oooooo
Hinata's arms danced in a pseudo-pattern, blocking all the incoming strikes. Her father had been attacking her for fifteen minutes, and while he was far from using his full skill on her, he had yet to make a strike. This was very peculiar. He decided to keep at this level another five minutes before going a step higher and pressing her harder to see the result.
Shuffling forwards, Hiashi attacked again. To his surprise, Hinata not only blocked them all, but also successfully countered three strikes before his attention focused enough to evade the rest. This was unprecedented.
It was rare for him to feel his tenketsu closed, though Hanabi managed a lucky shot occasionally. He withdrew a short distance, both to see if she followed on the offensive, and to observe his daughter's face. While it did not look triumphant, neither was it sad, as it often was when she was forced to cause pain. She had on a decent Hyuuga mask, though he could still read through it if he concentrated. She was uneasy. She was glad her counters struck true, but uncertain of what the result would be.
"You have improved, let us see how you do at the next level."
Her face grew wary, but hardened to determination. He closed the distance quickly, striking with both hands at several areas of the body. She blocked most, and diverted the few remaining to areas with no critical tenketsu. The strikes would be painful, but not impairing. Hiashi felt the urge to nod appreciatively, but ignored it, instead continuing the attack. This time he overextended his third strike intentionally. She capitalized, slapping his hand aside and striking a point near his elbow.
It stung, she had used more chakra than usual in that strike, but it was understandable, if she had been off slightly, the extra power would have closed the tenketsu anyway. Hiashi continued unperturbed, his arm still mostly functional.
His daughter's face was losing the uncertainty, gaining more resolve as she continued to block and parry his attacks, though he didn't give her any free chances. Hiashi stepped up the difficulty again, without telling her this time. She still managed to negate many of the strikes, though more were moved to non-vital points.
His last strike was unexpected, not part of the prescribed pattern bases that the Hyuuga had followed for so long. Hinata's eyes widened, and did something even Hiashi would never have guessed.
Her fingers met his. And since she put all her chakra behind it, she overpowered her father for a moment and stunned his fingers, though the tenketsu there wasn't closed.
Hiashi leapt back. "Hold!"
Hinata relaxed her body, though she was somewhat panicked. Although it had worked, what she had done was against one of the cardinal rules of Gentle Fist. Never meet a superior's fingers with one's own. This was a purely practical rule; if your opponent is better than you, they can see that move coming and disable your fingers with their superior chakra force.
Hiashi stood, observing his daughter for a minute, betraying none of his thoughts. "Follow me."
The clan head lead his daughter into his office, and activated a seal on a basic tea service set. It was somewhat of an oddity, as he could have any branch house member serve him, and Hinata had seen him served just so on many occasions. The kettle whistled seconds after he activated the seal, and he proceeded to serve them both.
Hinata was totally off balance, likely his intent, though one could never be sure with her father. She had expected a reaction from her display, but it seemed she had underestimated how big a wave her increase in skill had caused. She focused on maintaining her mask of indifference.
"Hinata, how have you been doing in team eight?"
Hiashi watched her show surprise before recovering. It was disheartening that such a simple question would cause that reaction from his daughter, but his rule of the Hyuuga clan was not absolute, and he knew maintaining distance from her was the best course for now.
"It is well. Kurenai-sensei is kind but strict. As you know, I've been friends with Shino-kun for many years, and while Kiba can be annoying, he means well and is a useful asset to our team."
"Tell me about your most interesting missions and training sessions."
Hinata paused before telling of her Tora mission, and a sparing match with Kiba, then a few other anecdotes.
"She seems to honestly believe these were the most interesting events so far, but nothing she's told me would explain her change," he thought. "Today was your day off, anything interesting happen with your friends?"
There. The mask shattered for a few moments, fear showing through.
"Ah, not much father. Just hung out. Talked about our missions, teams, and teachers. Played some board games."
Lie, lie, truth, truth. "What did you do besides talk and games?"
"Ah, I wouldn't want to bore you father."
Truth/omission.
"Well, what ever has happened, you've improved greatly. Continue like this and you will be my heir."
Relief.
"Thank you father."
"It's time for dinner, let us go to the dining room."
Meanwhile, Hiashi's mind was churning, "The change happened today, I'm sure. She has been improving steadily, but something important must have happened, likely while she was with her friends… Could she and Uzumaki have gotten together? It seems likely. This will be interesting to watch play out. I see no reason to interfere, at least for now. Perhaps I should speak with Hiruzen."
The two entered the dining room and joined Hanabi and her grandfather for dinner. Hinata relaxed, knowing how close she had been to discovery.
oooooo
End Chapter the Fourth
-Omake-
Warning: So I thought this would be upsetting to a bunch of people, but I guess I miss-estimated how easily my potential reader base is offended. Still, for example, if the idea of clones behaving naughtily creeps you out (and I can understand why it might), you might want to skip this.
A reviewer mentioned they didn't think this was funny. This isn't supposed to be hilarious, although I think it's amusing. It's more about being a cute scene of Naruto interacting (corrupting?) with the youths that look up to him, and watching those youths mature in a subject that is both extremely important, and fundamentally embarrassing and amusing. Nine out of ten comedians agree, sex is funny.
It was two days after his day off, and Naruto was returning from another rough mission courtesy of Kakashi. Naruto walked up to his apartment door and fished around one of his many pouches for the key. Once found, the weathered, dull metal didn't reflect the dim hall light as it traveled to the lock. The ninja in him went on full alert when he encountered no resistance turning it to the unlocked position. Withdrawing the key, he moved to the side a few paces and made two shadow clones, one going to the opposite side of the door and one nonchalantly opening it up and heading inside.
'This is exactly what the Academy meant by a "fight or flight" response,' Naruto thought, as he and his backup clone slipped out a kunai into each hand. They waited tensely, though perfectly still, for the scout clone to pop or send a signal. Depending on what type of threat it turned out to be, Naruto was not ashamed to high tail it.
Suddenly there was a muffled shout and shriek, then Naruto felt the clone pop. He franticly filtered through the memories, swearing that if he lived through this he'd always retreat and start meditating immediately in a situation like this.
Then he 'remembered' the threat. Moegi and Udon. The clone opposite the door from him slapped himself in the face hard enough to dispel. Naruto shook his head, sheathing his blades as he walked in. He found them playing cards, although at the moment it looked like 52 card pickup.
"You scared us Naruto-nii! Oh well, we don't need to play now that you're here."
"I scared you? I thought there was an enemy waiting in my home for me!"
Udon tilted his head. "We left the door unlocked, how much more of a hint did you need? A real ninja wouldn't make such a rookie mistake."
Naruto shook his head. "Never overestimate your enemy, it's not quite as bad as underestimating them, but you can end up just as dead. What if it had been a petty criminal? It wouldn't be the first time someone's broken into my apartment with bad intentions."
"Sorry Naruto, we didn't have bad intentions, we just came here to… what were you waiting here for Udon?" Moegi asked.
Udon looked around nervously. "Ah, I just, wanted to talk to Naruto about something. Why, what were you waiting here for? You were here before me."
Now Moegi looked embarrassed. "Um, same thing, just needed to talk to Naruto-nii about something. That's alright though, you go first."
Naruto face-palmed for the second time in as many minutes, as Udon insisted that no, he was fine waiting and she should go first. Naruto laughed, interrupting their argument. "So let me get this straight, you both decided to come see me about 'growing up' on the same day? I gotta say, this smells like a set up for some joke on me."
The two flushed light pink, then looked at the other, and properly blushed. "Do you really think I'd have come if I knew she was going to be here?" Udon asked.
"If I knew he was going to be here I wouldn't have come either, I just got sidetracked when we started playing cards," Moegi explained.
"Fine, I had hoped you two and Konohamaru would go to Iruka-sensei, or another teacher, but I did say I'd talk to you if I was needed. Moegi, isn't all this covered in kunoichi training? I'm not quite qualified to tell you what you need to know."
"They covered puberty and health, just like the boys, but what you're talking about is last year stuff, and even then it's supposed to be mostly basics, flirting and sex appeal. The advanced courses only take chunin kunoichi or above. We get paid more for those types of missions, but not all of the girls in class have the right personality. The instructors already said that a few other girls and I should focus on combat, rather than seduction training," Moegi explained embarrassedly.
"Huh? They pigeonhole you so early? What do they mean you should focus on combat?" Naruto asked indignantly. 'Hinata never explained any of this, then again, none of us asked, to my knowledge.'
"Yeah, why can't you do those missions? You're cute!" Udon added. Realizing what he said, the two blushed again, making Naruto smile and hold back a chuckle.
'No wonder no one told me Hinata liked me, it's way too much fun to see stuff like this to ruin it. Wait a minute, of course! Hanabi has her eyes on Konohamaru, leaving these two to pair off! I wonder if they know it yet?' Naruto thought.
Moegi fought down her embarrassment and tried to explain. "It's not beauty, though that helps, it is temperament, personality, boldness. Just as our bodies determine what type of taijutsu a ninja specializes in, a kunoichi's mental traits determine if we can become an effective seductress. Eventually they'll teach all of us the basics, as I said, but to excel in that area takes a special type of girl. That doesn't mean the rest of us can't be seductive, just that the strain those missions put on us will be greater, and we won't have some of the advantages those girls have."
"Huh, I never really thought about it," said Udon.
"I didn't either for the most part," admitted Naruto. "Then once I learned a bit about it, I consciously refrained from thinking about it. I wouldn't want to be a female ninja. Remember Udon, there may not be as many, but kunoichi have to deal with a lot of crap that guys don't, so always be cautious of them, they're definitely not weak," he winked at Moegi.
Udon nodded, and looked at Moegi with a contemplative face.
Naruto continued, "So if classes have covered the health aspects of it, and I imagine you've seen what's in store for yourselves at the public bathes at some point, you came to me for the other side of it I assume?" Naruto asked with a lecherous grin.
The two tweens shyly nodded. Their blood must have gotten tired of lighting up their faces, as blushes were not forthcoming this time.
Naruto burst their bubble though. "Well frankly, I don't know what to tell you. I can give you some Icha-Icha, but it's mostly figure it out as you go. Whether you're kissing or screwing, you have to figure out what's good to you and your partner for yourself." Naruto explained, mostly making it up as he went. He and Hinata had done some kissing, but they had only been dating a few days.
He looked at their disappointed faces, and tried to think of something he could do. In the meantime he continued, "Anyway, you two are to young for anything more than some kissing. Hey, that might be an answer!" The blond made a clone and had it henge female. "You can watch me make out with myself! Am I smart or what?"
The two kids looked at him with dubious expressions. "You're weird Naruto-nii, are shadow clones your solution to everything?"
"Anything can be solved by the use of enough clones in the right way. If you haven't solved the problem, you aren't using enough. Anyway, pay attention!"
Naruto and his Naruko clone started to kiss, showing off the few tricks Naruto had figured out with Hinata. The original broke off after a few minutes and created a second clone, male this time, to take his place. He watched his students fidget while they watched in rapt attention, before turning his attention to his clones.
"Wait a second, I've never done that before. It looked fun though. I've never thought about using clones to train in things other than the ninja arts," he thought.
"Notice their hands, and how they are moving around the body. Some areas are more sensitive than others of course, but visit several of them before focusing on one. Your mouth can kiss more places than your partner's mouth as well. The shoulder and neck is sensitive to that, and light nibbling there might be appreciated," Naruto lectured.
He looked at his students again. They were off in their own little worlds. Moegi was squeezing the one pillow Naruto kept on the couch between her legs, while Udon had his right hand in his pocket. The blond let out a quiet snicker and went to his room, opening the secret compartment he had installed, and scanning the titles, looking for appropriate ones. He decided that the first two of the series was fitting, and took them out, returning to the main room.
'What the-?' Naruto thought, surprised. His clones had started groping one another, something he hadn't intended to show his young friends, and he was especially shocked since he and Hinata hadn't gotten that far yet.
Doing a half assed mental preparation, more a mental exercise than true meditation, Naruto took half a minute to prepare himself for the memories, then walked up and punched his clones.
The two barely-teens made whining noises, then snapped back to reality and blushed crimson, almost beating one of Hinata's blushes from her youth. Naruto meanwhile, was going through an interesting process. Within seconds, he had gone from mostly normal, to very sexually excited. He stood still several seconds, both to fully integrate the memories, and to try to calm himself. From Moegi's half muffled gasp, he could tell his state was obvious.
Ignoring the condition everyone was in, Naruto handed both kids an Icha-Icha. "These should be educational and entertaining. I don't want to know what you do with them as long as you follow a few rules. No one is allowed to see you with it, read it in your bedroom. I'll be pissed off if your parents or someone starts telling people I give kids porn. Second, I want them back in a week, if you want more I can let you swap volumes, or eventually have other ones, but you need to check in with me seven days from now. Third, keep in mind this is fantasy, some of it is realistic, but most of it is not how the real world works. I'm mostly giving them to you for the art. Don't get into your head to start behaving like any of the characters or trying to have sex or something stupid like that. When you bring it back we'll talk about what happened in that volume and what was unrealistic, aka most of it. Finally, I've read them all several times and still managed to keep them in good shape. Since you'll only be reading them in your bedroom, there won't be food or drink spills, but also be careful while 'using' them. I'll be pissed if they come back... sticky."
The two teens nodded seriously to each point, excited and proud that Naruto trusted them with this. Once Naruto was done, the two opened their books to a random page near the middle, raising their eyebrows and momentarily stopping their breath.
"Does this look like your bedrooms?" Naruto asked.
The two hastily shut the books and slipped them into pockets, bowed, and hurried to the door, before running off home. Naruto let out a groan and made a Naruko clone. "This should work right? I haven't tried it before, but it's just the next logical step of masturbation."
The Naruko nodded in agreement, then asked, "Yes, the question is, do we tell our psychologist you made a female version of yourself give you a handjob? Something about this seems wrong. "
Naruto shrugged and unzipped his pants. "Kakashi said powerful ninja get weird. I'm just ahead of the curve."
End Omake