Naruto's exit from slumberland was a slow and complicated process the next morning. He first noticed the scent of bacon, eggs, and rice cooking nearby. This puzzled the small portion of his working brain, as he had not had breakfast waiting ready for him since the orphanage. Next, he noticed that he was in a bedroll, in a tent; that meant he was on a mission. So where had the eggs and bacon even come from? Finally, Naruto remembered what had happened the previous night.

"Well fuck."

Something was wrong with that. It didn't properly convey his feelings towards last night's events. In fact, although he was now pretty much awake, Naruto couldn't find a word that properly expressed his emotions.

"Oh… expletive?" Naruto tried out. It lacked oomph, but was generic enough to cover all the bases. "Maybe. Oh, expletive! Well, it'll do for now. I guess I need to get up."

Naruto threw on his clothes and ambled out of his tent to find his sensei cooking breakfast. He stretched and sat down on one of the logs they had drug around the fire yesterday. Checking the shadows the sun cast, Naruto guessed he was a bit early, maybe 8:45; which would explain why Kakashi hadn't rousted them out of bed yet.

Kakashi looked up from the pot. "You're up early; then again, you were the least wounded. You impressed me last night. If you hadn't tried to take some out from a distance, things could have gone very badly."

"So you were watching."

"Of course; I couldn't let my rugrats die on a d-rank. What would the other jonin say?"

"Hmph. So how much of this was planned? Was this area a known bandit spot?"

"No. Oh, there was a plan. On your first mission with bandits I'd disappear and watch you three wreck them all. I admit, I was surprised it happened the very first mission out of the village, but you guys are just lucky like that, I guess. I was worried when they turned out to be nukenin, but you all took care of things in the end."

"… I understand why you did it, but I'm still rather annoyed with you. Things could have gone sideways real quick, and Sakura nearly got shredded by shrapnel."

"I can live with your annoyance towards me. And I was ready to step in at any point during the fights; you aren't the only one who can copy himself. But if you understand why I did it, you know this was almost a perfect scenario. The three of you met challenging odds, risked your lives, and killed your obstacles with only some bruises to show for it… Hmm, food's done early. You want to start eating now, or wait for the other two?"

"This another teamwork test?"

"Everything in life is a test."

"Jiji told me that a few days before you and I met."

"Where do you think I got it from? My teacher's teacher's teacher. Anyway, no, you won't be scored poorly if you eat a bit now, as long as you save some to eat together."

"Ah, I'll have a bit of rice then."

"Good choice, I'll join you."

The two ate in comfortable silence, Kakashi discreetly checking his hidden watch, while Naruto thought about last night's encounter. It was odd, the shuriken kills he had made didn't even phase him. He supposed it was a combination of distance and the fact that the academy had prepared them rigorously for their first kill. The Hokage had come into class on one occasion and answered questions about killing, and the psych-nin spent time with every student in preparation for the event.

However, stabbing that guy in the back was different. He hadn't actually killed Mizuki, though it was a close thing. Killing the sword user, whatever his name had been, was personal in a way that sniping a random bandit with a shuriken wasn't. They had been trying to kill one another and Naruto had won. He supposed it wasn't going to keep him up at nights, but his feelings about it were novel and peculiar. With everything that had been going on recently, he really would have to see his psych-nin soon.

Kakashi put down his bowl and walked over to the tents. Deciding not to wake them up in the way he normally woke late sleepers, he stuck his head in Sasuke's tent and shook the teen's bag. "Yo, food's ready." He repeated the process with Sakura's tent and returned to the fire, putting food in bowls for everyone.

The two slowly emerged, immediately going for the food. They all sat eating until Sakura spoke up, "Where'd the food come from?"

"I was scared to ask, personally," Naruto added.

"Ah, well, I tracked the bandits' path backward to their hideout, and looted some food. I figured you three deserved it after last night. I had to find their base anyway to check for remainders, and report it's location so any loot gets hopefully returned."

The genin nodded and returned to eating. After they finished, Sakura started again, "So… about last night."

"We'll talk privately, I already spoke to Naruto, unless he has more to speak with me about."

Naruto shook his head.

"Fine, then I'll talk to Sakura first. You two, go down to the river and clean yourselves, we all exerted ourselves yesterday."

The boys nodded and headed towards the river, Sasuke stopping by his bag to grab a bar of regulation unscented soap.

oooooo

The two boys stripped out of their clothing and waded into the river. It was cool, but compared to the teamwork river it was wonderful.

For once, Sasuke started the conversation, breaking off a chunk of soap and tossing it to Naruto. "So you saw mine, how did yours compare?"

Naruto froze and arched his brow. "Sorry Sasuke, but I actually didn't see yours, not since fairly early in the academy during shower time anyway. I imagine it's changed since then."

Sasuke looked confused for a moment, then splashed Naruto. "Not my dick, stupid! How did you kill your enemy?"

"Oh, thank goodness," the blond chuckled. "Well, he was keeping me back with the reach of his sword, but he wasn't using it too well, so I was able to keep up. We had a clash, then he started acting a lot more competent. I could have beaten him fancy somehow, but I just signaled my clones. A minute later, I 'tripped' over a root, and he stabbed me through. Of course, it was just a clone, and three more snuck up behind and skewered him with kunai through the ribcage. He didn't even understand what had happened before he was dead."

"Hnn, I'm surprised, you always seem to have a flair for the dramatic."

"Like yours? Dude, that could've been a scene out of any number of manga I've read, it was pretty awesome. Of course, you didn't have to keep up the current that long. What if one of the others had won and attacked you? You were bordering on chakra exhaustion."

"Your clones were there, and I knew Kakashi was around somewhere. It was a good time to test the technique in the field. Either sensei will roast me for it or not, it wasn't the only mistake I made. I'm glad that you weren't going for the dramatic last night, taking out the extra bandits at the beginning saved us a lot of trouble."

"Thanks; don't get me wrong, I plan on pulling off some sweet stuff in the future, but I'd like to make sure I live to see my 20th birthday. That means getting good before I take big chances."

"Hnn," Sasuke nodded.

The boys washed off the copious residue from both the earlier expedited hustle, and the fight. Between them, the two used almost half of the, admittedly small, regulation bar. The things never frothed up very well, but they got you clean, and left no trace of smell on you. Naruto looked at his outfit where a small splash of blood had hit it, and decided it would have to wait until he returned home. One consumer product you could always rely on in a ninja village: clothing detergent.

The boys were scooping water off themselves with their hands to dry off when they heard a voice. "Um, guys? It's Sasuke's turn to talk with Kakashi. Are you done yet?"

The two snatched their clothing and covered themselves with it, only to relax when they saw a cloth tied around Sakura's eyes as she walked down to the riverbank.

"We're almost done, let us get dressed. Is it your turn getting clean now?"

"Yeah, Kakashi sent me here with this stupid cloth, and a transparent excuse, saying it was a blind fighting exercise. Tell me when you're dressed."

Warily, Naruto gave her the finger just to make sure. When there was no reaction, he shrugged and started to get dressed, though he couldn't resist fooling around a bit. When Sakura failed to react to Naruto's 'show' Sasuke started to get dressed as well.

Sakura tilted her head in the middle of Naruto's reverse strip tease. "Are you doing something stupid and likely perverted? It shouldn't take this long to get dressed. If you've been waggling your junk in my face I'll find out somehow."

Naruto stopped and started to seriously dress himself. "Sakura, you wound me, I'm not that immature."

"Hnn, neither of us have 'waggled our junk' in your face."

"You didn't deny stupid things and other perverted things in general, I notice. Hurry up, I'm taking it off in 30 seconds whether you're ready or not."

Buttoning his last button, Naruto said, "Fine, we're done. You can take it off."

Slipping the cloth off, Sakura looked at the boys. "Let me guess, you've been done for a while, and just making me wait for laughs."

"You just can't believe our innocence, can you?" Naruto asked, defeatedly.

oooooo

The boys were back at base, where Kakashi was packing up.

"We're here, I suppose you want me to go do something while you two talk?"

"Yes, and don't bother Sakura. Go read that sealing book or something."

"Sure. And thanks for sending Sakura blindfolded with the 'blind fighting' exercise, we were naked when she showed up."

"Hmm? I didn't send her blindfolded."

The two boys looked at each other, "You think she…?"

"Hnn."

Naruto started laughing. "Oh that's brilliant! She got one over on us, and we fell for it! She kept accusing us to make us defensive; I never suspected she was the one playing the prank! Oh, this will be fun. Now I get to plan revenge! Sasuke, do you want in?"

"You think this is funny. You don't have to worry about her selling the info of your size to a hoard of psycho stalkers."

"My prank will be slightly humiliating, and will end with nude photographs of her as black mail."

"… I'm in."

"I'll pretend I heard none of that."

"Good, that means I don't have to bribe you. I'll go plan, you two talk or whatever."

oooooo

The four set off towards the outpost once again after breaking camp. Naruto had convinced Sasuke not to let on that the two knew of Sakura's prank, and both boys would occasionally catch the girl smirking like the cat that ate the canary. As Kakashi had promised, the path turned sandy, and the genin were having a tough time getting through it. Water walking helped, but didn't keep them above totally.

"I know it's tough, you're using muscles you normally don't when running. It's good for you." Kakashi said, and kept the pace up.

Traveling is often boring when stuck with the same company throughout, and the genin quickly tired of the new sights. The first cactus you see is fascinating, the hundredth, much less so, especially if you aren't allowed to stop and examine them.

The sand kept getting deeper the closer they got to the border and it was also much drier. With no clouds, the sun was beating down on them. Heck, the sun was almost beating up at them, reflected off the sandy ground. Kakashi slowed the pace a bit, "It's not much farther."

oooooo

His idea of not much farther was a bit different from his students', and when they finally reached the outpost, all three of them were tired, and their legs were burning from the unusual muscle usage. It was only noon, but they felt almost as tired as they did from yesterday's four-hour top speed hustle. As they approached the building, three chunin came out to meet them. Kakashi signaled his team to halt, and withdrew his papers.

While the chunin were still out of earshot, Kakashi mentioned, "They may be a bit hostile, they were probably hoping to get cycled out of here, but some of that will be countered by the new supplies."

Naruto noted that while they wore leaf headbands, they were otherwise almost unrecognizable as leaf ninja. They were wearing a chunin vest, but over that was a white cloak, and a hat that covered almost the entire head with white fabric. He really wished he had had that hat today, it looked warm, but it probably kept all the sun off.

The middle chunin walked up to Kakashi and grabbed the orders from his hand. Reading it, he put it away, and snorted. "Damn, this is the fourth month we've been out here, and still no replacements. All right, come on in, no use shooting the messenger. I'm acting leader until Jonin Hiroto comes back from patrol."

"Thank you," Kakashi replied, and they all walked back towards the outpost.

Naruto noted that the outpost itself was unique, very unlike Konoha buildings. Although the core structure seemed similar to normal, many add-ons had been attached, almost organically. There was an abundance of white cloth, which was in the air on the end of posts, covering large areas with shade. There were rectangles with blue squares in them, which Naruto eventually recognized as solar panels, laying on top of various flat surfaces, mostly powering fans. The teen was surprised, he had thought that solar panels were bleeding edge technology; the academy had mentioned them as 'something Konoha was looking into'. Either that was a fib told in the interest of 'need to know', or Konoha had traded with Suna for them. Suna had few natural resources, so it got very good at extracting any use out of the copious sun and wind it had available. While Snow was the leader in technology, even they had to admit to being beat in the solar and wind energy tech fields.

While all of wind country wasn't a desert, it did consist of a significant portion of it. The country was noted for it's master glassworkers, and exported tons upon tons of glassware and optics. Naruto was coming to realize that the desert colored their entire way of living, not just the structures, which Konoha must have copied heavily from on this outpost. Of what he knew of Suna, he was drawing connections all over the place that tied back to the large desert.

It made him wonder, 'What did all the forests do to us?'

oooooo

Team seven was resting inside the outpost, and had delivered the supplies successfully. While the mood was muted amongst their hosts, two of the two dozen large seals had contained comforts; beer, manga, and letters, as well as fresh treats such as watermelon and chilled venison, which they would be grilling tonight.

The team had to stay until the head of the outpost officially received the orders, which was fine with the genin; it was blazing outside, and the top man, Hiroto, was supposed to be back in a few hours with the rest of the troops. The teens took some unused chairs and a fan, and relaxed.

oooooo

The rest of the mission went flawlessly. Hiroto returned and officially received the orders, team seven took off back to Konoha around five, and since they had napped, ran through part of the night. They had set up camp again, and absolutely nothing of interest happened. In fact, as they walked up to Konoha's gates the next day Naruto shared his mind.

"Except for the obvious exception, that was really boring."

Kakashi chuckled. "Yeah, it's a cliché, but ninja work is long periods of boredom punctuated by brief moments of gut wrenching terror. You three will look back on this mission years from now and say, 'Golly gee, were we lucky then, I wish we got missions like that more often!' Most missions are either more boring, or not nearly boring enough."

The genin contemplated that while they were processed in through the gate.

"Hnn, if I ever say 'golly gee' un-ironically, someone stab me."

The blond snorted, "With pleasure."

oooooo

Naruto stepped into his apartment. Nothing had changed, in the village or his apartment. He felt vaguely disappointed, his team had passed a major milestone in their development as ninja, but the world didn't seem to care. Everything was blah, boring, normal. The Hokage hadn't debriefed them, although he might decide to after the report was filed. He couldn't even talk to his friends; Hinata was out of the village, and Shino was with her of course. Choji and Shikamaru had team time, and probably couldn't hang out tonight.

It was like the world refusing to rain at a funeral. As a fan of dramatics, Naruto found this very poor form on the world's behalf. The only thing left to do was the prank…

And suddenly everything was right with the world again.

oooooo

Sakura walked into her house. "Hey! I'm home!"

Silence met her announcement, and Sakura realized dejectedly that her mother was probably at the market. Her father was at work of course. She frowned, then drug herself into her bedroom. 'Oh well, I'll have lots to tell them at dinner. But now I can take a real shower!' Dumping her equipment in her room, she started shedding her clothes as she walked to her bathroom. Once there, she threw them in a pile in the corner and cranked up the hot water in the shower. Testing the temperature, the girl eventually jumped under the spray and let out a sigh. Despite Naruto's complaint, she thought the mission had been plenty exciting. They had seen new places and killed interesting people. Kakashi had told her he was proud of how she had acted, and told her not to worry that Naruto had brought down her opponent. She had acted efficiently and would have killed most foes with the strikes she had made against him. He also said he was pleasantly surprised that she had ended him as easily as she had. They had discussed some of her feelings, and addressed some concerns. Apparently, she was doing better than he had expected, and that as long as she kept things up she would go far.

Sakura stopped the flow of water and decided to treat herself, grabbing her body wash instead of the soap bar. It was a birthday present from her parents, and had come from the fire capitol, where such things were more common. It had a delightful fruit aroma, and she drunk it in as she lathered a dollop over her body. She had cleaned off at the river, but that hardly counted as getting clean in her mind. She took Kakashi's warnings seriously, but didn't consider a wet sponge a bath, even if it was what she would be using most often. She snorted as she recalled the boys' reactions at the river. Her spontaneous plan had worked perfectly, and they'd never know unless she told them. Sakura had to admit she was nervous bathing in the river, she had expected Naruto to pop out at any time in revenge for her trick, but it seemed neither of them had realized what she had done.

She turned the water back on and started to rinse off. The girl could understand better why Naruto pulled all of his pranks, there was a rush of excitement during it; would you get caught, would you pull it off? When Naruto had flipped her off, she had to bite her tongue not to chuckle, and when the boys had 'let their guard down' so to speak, it had been hard not to give herself away. Sakura stood under the hot water and slid a hand between her legs. "As long as no one's home…" Thinking of her teammates, Sakura cradled a breast with one hand, and started to tease herself. Considering how cold the river had been, Sakura guessed the two boys to be large, though she had nothing to compare to. Since she hadn't been able to turn her head, or else she'd have given herself away, she hadn't gotten the best view. Still, the boys had used the opportunity to be naked in front of what they thought was a blind girl to do a little strutting, and she had watched some quite amusing behavior from Naruto, and even a bit from Sasuke.

She stuck a finger in and imagined it was one of her teammates. Truthfully, now that she had been around him this much, the majority of her attraction towards Sasuke had disappeared. He was still great eye-candy, but he was sort of cold to almost everything. Naruto on the other hand… well, she was beginning to be sorry she never accepted one of his proposed dates.

oooooo

A Naruclone lay outside the frosted glass of Sakura's shower. It was hiding as a bottle of lotion, but could still see and hear what was going on, due to the wonders that were, effectively, magic. 'This is both awesome, and terrible. On the one hand, Sakura is masturbating feet away from me,' the clone thought, 'on the other hand, the plan required her to know I was here, screwing boss over in the long run. And while Hinata might have overlooked this prank on the grounds of an eyeful for an eyeful, I don't think she'll be happy I watched Sakura do… this.' The clone felt no less conflicted as Sakura let out another moan. 'At least I can't see through the glass.'

The clone continued to be an unwilling spectator until Sakura seemed to be finishing. It released the henge and grabbed a convenient pen and pad of paper lying on the counter. Hastily scribbling a message to his target, he tore off the sheet and added it to the original message he had been sent with; sticking them halfway in the door of the medicine cabinet above Sakura's sink as she let out a particularly loud moan. Opening the bathroom window so he could pass off the camera to the next clone, he performed the wind whisper technique to misplace the sound of the camera. Hopefully that would buy time. He then held his camera up, ready to take a picture as she came out of the shower.

oooooo

Sakura slid down the tiled wall, as she took her fingers out and rinsed them off in the weak shower of water she had earlier turned it down to. She felt drained, but in a blissfully pleasant way. She felt like kneeling here, letting the water run down her until dinner, but she knew she ought to get out and stop ruining the water bill any more than she already had. Getting up, she opened the door a crack and reached out to grab a towel. Finding her target, she brought it back in and wrapped it around her hair, and stepped out into the chilly air. She stretched her whole body before she heard it.

Snap- whirr, Snap- whirr

Yanking the towel off her head and covering herself, Sakura turned to the noise, prepared to castrate any interloper. She found nothing, but the sound was definitely coming from the corner where her clothes were. Sakura immediately performed a kai, but no one shimmered into being. The noise finally stopped, creeping out the girl, until she heard her window squeak. Whirling around, she found Naruto with his hand out the window, and a look on his face that spoke of the foreknowledge of impending disaster.

"You know you brought this on yourself right? I mean, how did you expect me to react to being pranked? I'm sorry about catching your 'private time' though, that wasn't plan-" he disappeared in a puff as Sakura's knee passed through where his scrotum had been moments before.

Sakura stood there feeling very conflicted. She was quite the bright girl, and recognized that as violated as she felt, she not only had brought it on herself, but had probably made them feel the same way as well. That didn't do much to quell the feminine anger she felt inside her towards this affront. Still, she knew Naruto was crafty, and probably was already hidden with the photos somewhere she'd never find him.

Controlling herself, she noticed two sheets of paper it must have left her. Letting her curiosity take over from some of her other instincts, she read the hastily scribbled note first.

Sorry, I'm sure boss would never have done this if he'd have known you were going to entertain yourself. The shower glass was quite opaque though. Still, we had to get you back, and although our prank is in bad taste now, please believe this was just a friendly 'back at you'; boss was overjoyed when he realized what you had done.

Sakura refrained from ripping it to pieces, and let out a sigh. Naruto was so strange, although he often made a bizarre kind of sense if you stood on your head and squinted. He was sorry for catching her masturbating, but braking into her house and taking a nude picture of her was 'a friendly "back at you." '

She folded the message and opened the second one. It was written much better; it must have come from before he had gotten there.

Congratulations! You pranked a master prankster, and if I hadn't off handedly thanked Kakashi for blindfolding you, you would have gotten away with it! Now hopefully you understand what I did was necessary, and that we're now even. If not, I'm sure we can come to some agreement.

The photos are in Sasuke's possession; as long as you don't tell any girls about 'The Littlest Uchiha', he promises to keep them from ever seeing the light of day. If you want them destroyed, you'll have to take it up with him. I swear I have no photos or negatives.

The markings on your skin will go away in a few days and are perfectly safe.

Sakura stopped reading there, and immediately searched herself in the mirror. On her forehead, she could see a word formed of red skin. She quickly worked it out from the backwards mirror image: voyeur. Grimacing at the irony, she continued reading the note.

The markings on your skin will go away in a few days and are perfectly safe. I made sure to put it somewhere you could cover; my other plan involved waiting until the next time you went to the hot springs, and having it written all over your body. So it could be worse.

One last thing: don't stop! Your performance was wonderful, and the last thing I want is to stop you from pranking me. Just keep in mind that I'll always get you back, and keep it friendly.

Sakura wanted to wring his neck, but couldn't decide if he really deserved it. He honestly seemed to think that he was simply getting even with her, and considering she had done it first, she was afraid he had a point. On the other hand, she hadn't broken into his house to do it. And seriously, he was the one who had started dancing in front of her and humping the air, he could have guessed that the cloth was sheer.

Ugh, this was confusing, she hadn't meant any harm; hell, she didn't know why she did it in the first place, really. She had been overflowing with emotions, both good and bad, that morning; Kakashi's praise was wonderful and had almost-but-not-quite overwhelmed her feelings about shoving that kunai into the fat man's head. She had needed a release, and her spontaneous desire to watch her teammates bathe in the river seemed harmless enough, they wouldn't even find out.

But they had, and although at least Naruto hadn't cared, he wanted to get back at her, because that's what pranksters do. And she really did care, and… shit.

Now the girl wanted to get back in the shower and let the water run down her until dinner again, but for a very different reason. And once again, she knew she couldn't.

oooooo

Sakura knocked on the door, and hoped he didn't bug out the back. She had left a note for her mother, and come to speak with Naruto. Hopefully they could sort this out.

"Who is it?" came through the door.

"Who do you think? I want to talk."

A few moments of silence went by, then, "Your fists aren't feeling talkative, are they? Because I'm completely alright with talking to you in a day or two, when tempers have cooled."

"I'm not going to hit you, unless you say or do something really stupid."

"Well hell, I better get the ice pack ready now. Come in."

The deadbolt slid back, and the door opened a bit. Sakura stepped inside and shut the door behind her. Naruto was standing in the middle of the main room of his apartment, looking unnaturally somber for him. What she could see of his apartment was much cleaner than she had expected for a boy living on his own, and although the building he was in sucked, he had worn, but comfortable looking furnishings. He was sipping a soda with 'ENERGY!' written on it, and what looked like a surgeon general's warning on the side.

"I came to apologize, and to ask that you never do something like that again. When I tricked you both, I didn't comprehend how it must have felt when you realized what I had done. Of course, you weren't supposed to find out, but that doesn't excuse my actions."

Naruto nodded and sat on the couch, and waved to the other chair he had room for. Sakura sat as Naruto began.

"I need to apologize as well, it has been a crazy few days, and I didn't think through my revenge very well. I don't get pranked often, and it was exhilarating to be gotten so thoroughly. That is where the problems began. I didn't care one iota that you saw me naked, I have nothing to be ashamed of. And although Sasuke was annoyed, he still sort of thinks of you as a fan girl. He was mostly afraid of you spreading tales. Not that he has anything to be ashamed of either from what I could see; I don't know why he's so concerned truthfully. I also treated you as if you understood what you were doing, totally forgetting that this was totally outside your normal behavior. So I pranked you back, neglecting to consider that as a girl, you'd have stronger feelings about it. I didn't realize the problem until my clone saw the look on your face as you realized what was going on. By then, it was too late for both of us, of course."

Sakura found herself getting angry again, "Let me get this straight, you didn't care that I spied on you? You were actually glad, but your pranking ego demanded you one-up me?"

Naruto sighed. "Well, yes. Do you want something to drink, by the way? I don't have visitors, well, ever, but I think I have some tea bags. The water's pretty tasty if you like hard water."

"No thanks, lets get back to the point, you broke into my house and took photos of me for your ego?"

"I already admitted it. Let's both chalk this up to life experiences, shall we? We both are obviously sorry for what we've done. While I crossed some lines, you learned some valuable lessons about planning, and I'm sure you'll be a better ninja for it."

"Valuable lessons? What are you talking about? It was obviously a mistake, but-"

"Ugh, you're supposed to be the smart one. Let me explain it. This is a lesson every prankster learns, and I've been told every leader who sees a plan put to action goes through a similar process. Actions you take have unintended side effects. What seems like a harmless prank could kill an old man with a weak heart, or ruin a marriage. You have to figure out what the consequences of your actions are, and prevent the ones you don't like. And the better you are at that, the more control you have over the world.

"When I started out pranking, almost every plan I made failed. I thought I was doing it wrong at first, but eventually I realized no, every plan over a certain amount of complexity is almost bound to go wrong. The trick is in the contingency planning. During that part of my life, I often got roughed up by my targets. They would catch me when the prank went wrong and frequently failed to find the humor in the situation. I couldn't foresee the consequences of my pranks, or the failure points."

"All right, I think I get it, neither of us saw the unintended consequences of our pranks."

"Right. But let me explain a little more. As I grew better, I could see more of the consequences of things, but my plans still went awry. The main difference between a master schemer and a novice is that when the plan, which is like a Jenga tower, fails, and it almost always will, the master can rearrange the tower pieces as it's still falling. If he does it right, the tower stays in a perpetual state of collapse, never quite falling, until it's the next player's turn, and the plan has completed. The novice expects everything to work, and when it doesn't, panics.

"My clone realized the plan was going pear-shaped when you started having fun in the shower. While it should have aborted, it was smart enough to start contingencies immediately, writing you the additional note, and trying to explain before you popped it."

"You're so odd, Naruto. You talk about pranking like some people talk about their professions."

"That's because pranking is serious business. Remember Kakashi's peanut oil assassination? If our team had been assigned that, you or Sasuke wouldn't have thought of peanut oil, I would. Although if you tried some you might make a decent prankster. You pulled off your first one very well, although obviously ninja training helped. And I bet you got a rush from it, huh?

"Yes, but it was a spur of the moment thing, that's not who I am."

"Too bad. Well, maybe you'll try again sometime, I'll help if you ever want to. But yeah, you can do really big things with a small prank. Remember the Green Pee Epidemic?"

"Um, vaguely. It happened when we were 10, right? I thought it was really funny, but a lot of people seemed concerned."

"Yeah, that was me. I had found this plant that grows in the forest around here. It's totally harmless, but it has the odd ability to turn your urine green if you eat it. I tested the plant for a week or two until I figured out how to extract the urine-changing component. I must have picked a hundred pounds of that plant, and processed it all down to a pint of extract. I slipped into the water facility using my fledgling ninja skills, and poured it into the water supply."

"No one caught you? Why wasn't it guarded? An enemy could've poisoned us!"

"Yep, not so funny a prank now, huh? By noon the first day, several hypochondriacs had gone to the hospital thinking they had a rare disease. The hospital didn't know what it was, and started putting people in quarantine. Soon, more and more people started developing the green pee disease, and the hospital was flooded. It was a miracle no one died in the chaos, and the public started panicking. At first I thought it was funny, then I panicked, and was afraid to tell anyone.

"Eventually the extract left everyone's system, and things calmed down a bit, but it didn't stop there. Someone in the hospital discovered what was causing the symptom, and realized that for most of the village to have the symptom, someone had to have intentionally caused this. Now the ninja were really interested, although they were pretty deep in the problem before, as a large portion of Konoha's force had the mysterious malady.

"But once the doctors said 'biological attack' everything changed. Suddenly the water facility was of top interest. It got a surprise inspection, and several people were court martialed for negligence. There were factions pushing for war against Hidden Lightning, who had recently had an incident with the Hyuga, while others thought Earth was up to it's old tricks again. Most of this was unknown to me of course; I had thought that after the public had calmed down that it had blown over. I told the Hokage about it. Looking back, I can tell he had to restrain himself from hitting me. The amount of chaos I caused is almost unbelievable, and things could have gone much worse."

"…That's… incredible. Horrible, but amazing. What did they do to you?"

"The Hokage covered it up. He told everyone that a young chunin was worried about village security and performed it as a test. Then he told basically the truth, that the chunin panicked when he realized what he had started, and was afraid to tell anyone, fearing he'd be executed as a traitor. You are now one of less than 15 people who know the truth, and if you ever tell anyone, you may be penalized two years worth of C-rank missions pay."

Sakura mentally shrugged off the warning; ninja were expected to keep secrets all the time. "… When it comes to crazy magnets, you must be neodymium."

"I always thought I was an electromagnet, but yes, I cede the point."

"So what punishment did you actually get, if you weren't publically at fault?"

"Well, although I caused a lot of problems, it was mostly because my actions uncovered existing cracks in the system. So ironically, I caused so much trouble, I actually got awarded a medal, and a bond that will mature when I turn 18. Several areas were looked at to find any other problems, and a lot of things got shaken up. The final consequences were that there were reforms in both hospital procedure, and village security. The truth was, Konoha had gotten complacent as the top dogs, and let several things slide for various reasons."

Sakura shook her head, trying to wrap it around the story. If it were anyone else, she'd think it was just an elaborate tale. "So is this the secret of why the Hokage is so close to you?"

"Nah, that makes this seem like small potatoes."

Sakura frowned, a bit scared at the idea that there was a secret that big surrounding her teammate.

"Hey, relax. I'm still me, just because you learned more about me doesn't change who I am."

"I know, it's just a bit disconcerting that my teammate has such a huge secret about him that I know nothing about. While secrets can be about good things, important secrets are usually about troublesome things."

"I thought secrets were sexy; you and the fangirls often spoke of Sasuke's mysterious past."

"Yes, and I think it's pretty clear we were all acting like idiots. I'm sorry, I'm not scared of you or anything, but being told that your story is insignificant next to another secret of yours is a bit off putting. The fine you mentioned was a B-rank secret penalty."

"Alright, I was being flippant, the Green Pee Epidemic was a big deal. My other secret is a big deal too, but it's not earth shattering once you overcome the initial gut reaction. Anyway, are we cool now?"

"Not until I get back all the photos. And although I'm trying to be okay with it rationally, you intruded in my domain, and that really disturbed me. What I did was on neutral ground, but you broke into my home."

"I'm sorry about that, but I don't know what else I can say. I kept all the negatives when it went sour, but I did promise a photo to Sasuke, so he has one. Let me get them."

The boy went further into his apartment, then came back shortly with a film canister.

"I know you want to destroy these, but you may want to hang on to one or two, they're pretty hot," he said with a grin.

Sakura rolled her eyes as she grabbed the canister. "Except they have the word voyeur written on my head."

"Nah, your towel blocked that, it's some smoking shots."

Sakura grinned a bit. "Why did you always ask me for dates when we were kids?"

Naruto looked uneasy at the change of topic. "Well, obviously I had a crush on you. You were smart, and had a fiery attitude. I thought you'd be a really fun girlfriend. Of course, we were so young; I didn't really get the whole concept. I was mostly just looking for a friend to hang out with, but thought you were cute, and sort of understood that a girlfriend was more than just a friend. But you hit me enough times that I eventually got the message. And I made other friends, so I gave up. Um, why?"

"You want to get ramen and a movie sometime?" Sakura asked, embarrassed.

Naruto slid a hand down his face. "Wow, didn't see that coming. Sorry, but I've got a girlfr-" Naruto choked off, too late.

"You have a girlfriend? Was it recent? No one knew about it in the academy."

"Yes it was recent, and no one is supposed to know, it's secret. Her father could really make life hell for the two of us, and-"

"Oooh! It's Hinata! That's so sweet! Did she finally confess? Tell me how it happened!"

'At least she's taking my being off the market well.' "Please don't tell anyone, what did we just go over about unintended consequences? This could have large ripples if Hiashi found out."

"Don't worry, I get it; princess and the street urchin, no offense. It's an ancient and romantic plot. Tell me the details and I'll consider us even."

Naruto groaned, and reluctantly told her an edited version of what happened that day on their first break.

"Wow, that is so cool. Well, it's too bad you're taken, but Hinata deserves you after all this time. I guess I need to go to Sasuke's and get back my photo somehow."

"Hey, remember, not a word of this. What I did to you was supposed to be friendly. I trusted you with some secrets; if you blab, you won't like what I do to you."

Sakura nodded and got up. "I promise. What good is a ninja that can't keep secrets?"

oooooo

Sakura knocked on another door, uncertain as to how to go about convincing Sasuke to give her the photo. Sasuke opened the door and looked at her.

"I came to apologize, and ask for the photo back."

"Hnn, didn't Naruto make it clear? The photo is safe as long as you don't tell any of the girls about anything."

"I'm not going to tell the girls anything. I know you haven't realized it, but I've changed; I'm not your little fan girl any more. Hell, you weren't the reason I did it, just a nice bonus."

Sasuke's brow raised at that. While he was glad she wasn't attracted to him any more, it kind of stung to call seeing him naked 'a nice bonus'.

"You're going to be annoying until you get the photo, aren't you?"

"You better believe it."

"Hnn, fine. I'm a decent cook, and I really like pasta, but although I can copy the spaghetti perfectly, I can never get the sauce right. Make me a quart of fresh red spaghetti sauce and the recipe you use and I'll give the photo to you and call us even. But it better taste really good."

Sakura rolled her eyes at the request, but nodded, knowing he could've asked for much more. "Fine. I'll deliver sauce for your copy pasta in about two hours, but you better give me the photo."

"Deal."

"Deal."

Sakura turned around and headed back towards her house. Sasuke watched her leave, then shut the door. 'It's regrettable I don't have the sharingan yet, I wouldn't mind having that picture memorized forever.'

oooooo

Sakura was eating dinner with her parents after successfully getting back her photo. Naruto had been right; it was a great shot. But she was putting the whole thing behind her now. She was currently telling her parents a heavily edited version of her fight, and the rest of her mission, between bites of food. She missed the looks of unease on her parents' faces as she told the tale, and finished with how Kakashi had commended her actions.

The girl sat smiling, expecting congratulations. Instead, "Honey, your mother and I want you to quit being a ninja, and start preparing to take over my merchant company."

oooooo

Sakura knocked on a door again.

Naruto opened the door. "Hey, something wrong?"

"Can I crash at your place tonight?"

Naruto groaned.

OOOOOO

End chapter the Seventh