AN: Just a reminder, I didn't come up with the tongue pushup joke, that honor is Rorschach's Blot 's. You can find it in his hilarious collection of ideas: What If?
oooooo
The week went by quickly for team seven. There was no second inter-team get together, although there would be more in the future. For the genin, it seemed as if there was nothing but training everyday. Still, when they had come back from their day off, all three could feel the difference in their bodies and the way their chakra felt.
It was Monday morning, and they had been directed to take it easy this morning, and to expect Kakashi to show up relatively quickly. Naruto sat on the bridge, reading one of the fuinjutsu guides Tenten had given him while she borrowed his. He was making fast progress through them during the evenings, despite being worn down training every day. They were mostly concepts he had figured out, or learned from his old book, but a number of holes had been filled in his knowledge, and he understood the reason a few things worked now better than he previously did.
It was interesting, the books explained concepts much better than his old one had, but left out much of the details. He was sure that when he finished these and started to re-read his old one that he'd progress much more quickly, at least for a time.
Sakura was doing calisthenics while standing on the stream; an activity that kept her limber and slowly increased her physically oriented chakra. It wasn't that effective anymore; the aggressive workout she had been on for the last two or three weeks and her increased food intake had rapidly built some muscle on her, and simple activities she had previously found tiring were now nearly worthless as serious exercise. Still, Kakashi had told everyone to take it easy today, so it was better than sitting around.
Even Sasuke was relaxing after the endless physical and chakra training throughout the previous week. He was idly tossing kunai and shuriken into a target he had taken some time carving into a tree a while back. He had brought many projectiles prepared with ninja wire, and was trying trick shots to pass the time. He had learned that Tenten could control dozens of projectiles on wire at once, and although he was fairly skilled at controlling up to four or five, he wanted to try expanding that number as a lower priority side goal.
The scene was peaceful; the only sounds were rustling branches, the turning of pages, the occasional splash of a hard footstep coming out of a stretch, and the rhythmic THUNKs of iron hitting the massive tree.
Into this Kakashi snuck with ease, standing on the bridge's rail, not more than five feet from both Naruto and Sakura.
"Hello?"
The genin leapt away from the voice and spun around, calming when they realized whom it was. Then they grew cautious again.
"Wait, that can't be Kakashi, he's only 15 minutes late!" Naruto yelled, half seriously.
Sasuke readied his projectiles; even if they all knew it really was him, it was amusing to make fun of his shortcomings in the punctuality department.
Sakura flashed a kai. "Huh, it really is you, sensei? Are you ill? I suggest we take you to the walk in clinic, if not the hospital."
Kakashi snorted, "I told you I'd be here pretty quick. We wouldn't want the suckiest C-rank available as your first one, right?"
Naruto punched the air and let out a "Whoo-hoo!" as his teammates smiled and clapped.
"I've pushed you fairly hard, and you three made progress. We already know you all won't panic in a battle situation. I feel confidant enough to send us on low-conflict-level likely missions. And while I usually reserved your d-plus-ranks, I think that picking a mission the standard way would be best for your first serious mission. So, let's get to the tower!"
"HAI!"
oooooo
This time when they passed the front desk, Kakashi noticed the receptionist make a call to the Hokage's line; his eyes following team seven. So, he alone was unsurprised that when they got to the mission room, the Hokage's chair was not empty this morning.
"Huh? Hey old man, why're you doing the boring stuff today?"
There were no assistants in the room today, and the desk was clean except for one scroll.
"Ah, come in come in. I've heard that you're going to take on your first C-rank. Not only that, but it's the first C-rank for any of your graduating class's teams. This is a day you will look back on, and I wanted to be here. As well, I've got a mission specially for you."
The genin looked surprised and started to smile. Kakashi's mask was hiding a small frown, while his visible eyebrow was raised. "Oh? That is quite the exciting news! What mission needs our specific talents?"
"Ah, the mission shouldn't need anything special, but I think it will be a good learning experience. You will be guarding a bridge builder of minor notability from attack by bandits and such on his way back home to wave. You will also guard the bridge until it is completed, as there are apparently some gangs and possibly a small Yakuza presence who wish to see the bridge destroyed. Once the bridge is completed, you are to return."
"Sugoi! Protecting a whole bridge from sabotage by Yakuza! This will be an awesome start to the legend of team seven!" Naruto cheered, doing a silly dance.
His teammates were looking pretty pleased as well, they didn't notice the facial communication between Kakashi and the Hokage.
"While you are here, I need to discuss another matter with you, Kakashi. I'm afraid this is beyond the three of yours need to know, return when you are called back."
The genin nodded seriously, and left the room. They watched the light go on outside the door as the security seals activated.
"Man, are we lucky or what? We're practically guaranteed a brawl or two with some Yaks!"
"Yeah, this should be fun, and we get to go to another country. Wave isn't too far, but it's a ways. We'll see some interesting things on the way, I'm sure," Sakura mused.
Sasuke moderated, "This does seem pretty fortuitous, though I doubt there will be any challenge. The Yaks would have to be terminally stupid to attack a bridge guarded by even a genin team. Though I suppose it's out in the middle of nowhere far enough that they might not realize how strong we really are, and try to attack."
That took some of the wind out of Naruto's sails. "We're so strong no one will even try? That's no fun. Eh, maybe some will have ninja training like the last guys we fought. We've improved enough in the last week to take those guys apart easy!"
oooooo
"So what's the real story?"
"Well, it's pretty close to what I said," Sarutobi began. He reached into a drawer and pulled out one of his pipes, then continued. "There's a bridge builder who is trying to connect Wave country to the mainland. He bought a C-rank to protect him and the bridge against thugs until it's finished. The problem is that he's the first person out of Wave in a long time. We've had other fires to put out recently, and we have next to no intel on anything in the country. All we know is that it's been economically smothered, and that the standard increase in criminals that follows that sort of thing has occurred. You will get in fights on this mission, but it's not clear whether it's worth sending in a chunin team."
He paused his briefing to light the pipe, which he had been preparing as he spoke. Blowing some air through it for the tobacco to properly catch, he waited a moment, then took a deep drag. He held the smoke in his cheeks a few seconds before blowing it out, idly running chakra through his breath to shape the smoke into a 'B'.
"You personally have a B-rank intelligence mission to find out what in hell's going on over there. I have a gut feeling that this one might turn sideways, and I'd like to give this to Gai's team. However, your reports on the kids are impressive, and I probably just have some indigestion. Between Sasuke and Naruto, they'll be able to keep themselves alive until you take out any serious threats in the worst case."
Kakashi nodded. "Yes, I see why we're ideal. It's not what I would have hoped for, for their first C, but they're tough. We'll make it through fine."
"Good. I know I can count on you. It's time to meet your client." He pressed a button, and the two could feel the seals deactivating. "You three can come in again."
The door opened and team seven came back in, all smiles.
"Alright, time to meet your client, and start your way to Wave." The Hokage pressed another button, and spoke into the microphone. "Send in the Wave client please."
Another door opened, and admitted an older man who appeared to be a drunken bum. "Bout time," he said under his breath, expecting no one to hear it. He looked up at his bodyguards.
"This it? I mean, they look fit enough, but they're on the young side, aren't they? I need hardened killers, not teen models."
"This is our client? We'll have a tougher time keeping him sober enough to travel than we will with a couple of stupid Yaks!"
"Naruto!"
Naruto snorted.
Kakashi stepped in, "I assure you sir, these young students of mine can take out a few dozen thugs or bandits each. You have nothing to fear. And I'm a jonin. I can take on a small army of men and win. Are you ready to travel? We will need to pack equipment since we were just assigned your contract, but we can start travelling within a half hour."
The man looked at Kakashi for a few moments, then at the genin. He glanced at the Hokage, who now had a small, smoky dragon spiraling around his head, then shrugged. "Sounds good to me. I travel light, so I'll be ready by then, just need to grab my bag and get to the East gate. My name's Tazuna, Super Bridge Builder, by the way. See you at the gate." He walked off through the door he came in.
The genin were looking less enthusiastic now. "Alright team, pack your bags for a three week C-rank, but expect trouble, so throw in a few extra projectiles instead of ration bars, we'll be traveling civilian speed, so we'll have time to hunt and gather."
"Hai!"
oooooo
The genin were rapidly becoming disillusioned. After meeting up at the gate, and heading out, Tazuna had immediately started drinking and half-singing old drinking songs as they crawled along at a snails pace. The old drunk was walking pretty fast for a civilian, and surprisingly fast for an old drunk, but compared to ninja travel, it was maddeningly slow.
"The cat has 32 muscles in each ear. Huh. That's interesting; a cow produces 200 times as much gas each day than a human. A giraffe has a 21 inch tongue," Naruto read out as they walked along.
"Don't you know how to read silently?" Sakura asked.
"I was trying to entertain, excuse me for trying to help."
They walked in silence for another ten minutes, as Tazuna mangled Whiskey in the Jar. "A pig's orgasm lasts half an hour."
Tazuna snorted. Sakura sighed.
"Really?"
"How should I know? That's what the book says, Sasuke."
"Huh."
"You know what they call bell peppers in Earth Country?" Tazuna butted in.
"What?"
"Mangoes."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"Tell them that, I know a bell pepper when I see one."
"I heard Grass Country calls sprinkles jimmeys."
Sensing the tide had changed, Naruto continued, "A whale's penis is called a dork."
"Huh, that's a dorky name."
"Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms everyday."
oooooo
"A crocodile can run up to 11 miles an hour."
"Huh, they don't look very athletic, except for their mouths."
"Barnacles have the largest penis to body-size ratio of any animal."
"… Oh, right, because they can't move."
"There's a suspicious looking puddle in the road."
"… What kind of fact is that?"
"One that's sitting in the road in front of us."
"Oh, so it is."
"What's suspicious about it?"
"It hasn't rained recently has it?"
"I guess that's a bit odd, but it's just a puddle."
"I'm throwing a rock in it, wait a minute."
"You are so weird sometimes, Naruto."
Sasuke and Sakura stopped, and Sakura grabbed Tazuna's hand to halt his progress.
"He's not serious is he? What does he think he'll find in there, sharks?" Tazuna asked.
"Sometimes it's easier to let someone do something stupid than to talk them out of it. I'm sure you've done it to somebody at least once," Sakura said.
"I'm drunk, not a kid; I've been letting idiots learn lessons I've tried to teach them since long before you were around, girly. I was just hoping ninja didn't have fools in the system."
"He's just enthusiastic. For someone worried about attacks, you sure are drinking a lot. We can protect you, but it will be much easier if you can understand directions we give you in the middle of combat."
Tazuna snorted. "Fine, I'll lay off the sake, I was planning on drinking less as we got farther from Konoha anyway."
The group watched Naruto heave a thirty-pound stone several yards, right into the middle of the puddle. There was nothing odd about it, it splashed, and the stone stuck out part of the way. Naruto shrugged, and waved the group forward.
As the group passed the odd puddle, Sasuke couldn't help but needle the blond a bit. "So, where are the bad guys hiding next, huh? Under a rock? Behind a squirrel? I know, in Tazuna's drinking gourd!"
Tazuna snickered and melodramatically held his gourd up, inspecting it carefully, and splashing the liquid inside to check for ne'er-do-wells.
Naruto sighed, "Sometimes paranoia makes you look silly, but it only takes one time to save your life before it pays for itself."
There was an odd metallic noise behind them, and the genin whirled around.
"Too bad you weren't paranoid enough!" said a voice, creepily distorted through a re-breather mask.
The genin barely had time to register the situation; there were two ninja in modified mist uniforms using large gauntlets connected by razor-chain. This chain was wrapped around Kakashi several times, and the expression on their sensei's face was one of shock.
"Well shit."
It was the last words he would ever speak, as the two ambushers gave chakra-boosted yanks on the chain, brutally dismembering Kakashi, and splashing his crimson blood over the ground.
"Damn, we're lucky bro, let's mop up the kids and deal with the objective."
The two rushed to their next target, hoping to capitalize on the shock they had caused.
Unfortunately for them, the years of training for moments like this kicked in, and the remainders of team seven moved automatically, hardly thinking at all. As Sakura launched kunai into their path, Sasuke threw projectiles into the gaps of the chain, pinning it to a tree. Naruto had made only twenty clones to reserve power, and several of them were starting the cutting breeze technique, as others started spray-and-pray projectile tossing. Normally no one, not even Naruto in his youth, would try such a tactic, but with shadow-replicated weapons, it became a viable stalling or distracting tactic, if nothing else.
In the face of competent genin and a fairly dense cloud of aimed and un-aimed projectiles, the two enemy ninja wisely decided to make a miniature retreat and regroup after flanking their young opponents. In the midst of all the action though, they had missed Sasuke's contribution, and stumbled when they got to the end of the chain. Recovering quickly, they received only some light grazes from the flying iron and steel as they adjusted their gauntlets and sped off, sacrificing the chain for mobility.
Naruto's jutsu clones were finished now, and launched several deadly blades of air after the two. Surprised at such a technique from a genin, but not worried, the two brothers focused on dodging and retreating to the trees. One clone was very close with his blade of wind, and to its surprise, actually curved it in flight; scoring a grazing hit on one of them. The marked nin hissed in pain and stumbled, before catching up to his partner and disappearing into the tree-line.
Then everything caught up to the genin.
"FUCK!" Naruto shouted, never one to shy away from describing a situation accurately.
"30 seconds of rest, then we pursue," Sasuke said, trying to keep calm, and counting down in his head.
"What? Are you crazy? They just killed Kakashi in an ambush! They're probably preparing for another ambush as we speak! We need to protect Tazuna and get him back to Konoha!"
Naruto looked at Tazuna, the old man seemed to be in total shock. He was trembling and his eyes didn't move from the remains of the jonin.
"We need to pursue and avenge sensei's death! None of us will be safe going back until those two are dead! Their trail is growing colder every second!"
"That's asinine! Their target was Tazuna; we can't leave him alone until we get back to the village! They'll have to come to us to fight us where we are, instead of letting us stumble into another ambush!"
Naruto looked at the gore of Kakashi's body. It seemed unreal that such a legend could die to such a stupid ambush; even Naruto, a fresh genin, had thought something was up.
"Unreal… Unreal?"
Naruto walked over to his sensei's remains, ignoring the blood and bits of intestine that were starting to cover his shoes. He bent over and picked up a mostly intact arm.
"We need to- fucking hell, what is wrong with you Naruto? Have you gone insane? That's sensei!" Sakura screamed.
Naruto ignored her, and strained his arms. There was a cracking noise, and Sakura's face turned green. The next moment, Naruto was holding two chunks of wood in his hands.
"KA-KA-SHIII- YOU FUCKERRR-!" Naruto bellowed out.
The three genin quickly performed kai, turning the gore around Naruto into chunks of wood and sawdust.
There was a thud, and team seven turned to see Tazuna on the ground, out cold.
oooooo
Ten minutes later, the genin of team seven were sitting around Tazuna in the middle of the road, on alert. If their sensei had no problem faking his death and letting them drive off the two ninja, he might not show up until they resolved the issue.
Suddenly Sasuke sprang up, and launched two shuriken into the tree line. Sakura and Naruto were right behind him, though they kept their projectiles readied until they had a better idea of where to throw them.
"Maaa, is that any way to greet your sensei?" Kakashi asked, stepping into sight carrying the two unconscious ninja over his shoulders.
Naruto and Sakura immediately tossed their shuriken at the man, who lifted his leg over 90 degrees off the ground, and knocked them away with a steel plate on the bottom of his footwear.
"I take it from the primal bellow and your response just now that I forgot to cancel the genjutsu on my replacement? Sorry, I was rather busy."
Naruto threw another shuriken out of spite, straight at his sensei's head. Not bothering to move, Kakashi tilted his head up and bit down on the razor sharp star, stopping it cold. He spat it out and shrugged, lifting both bodies higher for a moment as if they weighed nothing. "Okay, I get you're annoyed a bit right now, but we have things we have to deal with, more important than my mistake."
"Mistake? Mistake my ass! No more a mistake than the times you launched us into crud whenever you attacked us during missions, no more a mistake than when you set up Sakura to take that acid bath!" Naruto yelled.
"What?!" Sakura demanded.
"Surely you don't think I intentionally traumatized you and left a shadow clone to observe your reactions to being left in a shitty situation, and to toughen your resolve for when something like this happens for real? That would be really mean of me!"
"Damn it, I'm tired of your shit, sensei! I keep telling myself that you know what you're doing; that it's all right because we get stronger whenever you pull a stunt like this. But where is your line? You're good, but you aren't Kami! It doesn't take a skilled opponent to ruin one of our lives, just bad luck!"
Kakashi sighed as he continued into the road, and dumped the two enemies onto the ground. He dashed over a few yards, "Naruto, shut up and attack me."
"What?"
"Attack me, that's an order."
Nervous, but knowing better than to flagrantly refuse an open order, Naruto charged Kakashi, waiting for the man to counter. He didn't though, just blocked the blond's strike with an open palm. "I said attack me, not stand around like an idiot."
Naruto nodded, and started to seriously fight. Kakashi never made an offensive move; he simply blocked every attack with a hand, forearm, or shin.
oooooo
Sakura and Sasuke sat and watched the 'fight,' if one could call it that. It had started over 20 minutes ago, and neither had taken a hit, though of course, Kakashi had never attacked in the first place. Naruto was flagging though, and Kakashi finished the fight with a soft punch to the chest that knocked the air out of Naruto.
"Enough. Do you feel better now?"
Naruto evaluated himself as he worked air back in his lungs. Surprisingly, he felt much better, having used his overflowing emotions to fuel his punches. Now he was drained- of both anger, and excess energy. "… Yes, I do. I'm sorry, but that was really cruel sensei."
"Yes it was. Life often is. Now let's put this behind us, and focus on our problems."
"Hai."
Kakashi looked over to his other two students. "Do either of you need to work out your frustrations with me? Either take this opportunity, or you'll have to wait quite a bit for your next chance."
The two shook their heads, having calmed down just watching Naruto try to cream their jonin leader.
"Why don't the three of you tie up this pair to a tree so we can question them?"
His students nodded, their attitudes subdued. In short time, the ambushing pair were tied to a tree, with Kakashi waving smelling salts under their noses.
"Damn, what happened?"
"Ugh, I feel like the Raikage ran into me with his armor on."
"I highly doubt that," Kakashi said, immediately drawing their attention.
"Oh, shit! We're dead!"
"Worse, that's Kakashi!"
"Fuck!"
"Now now, neither of you have to die, and if you tell me what I want to know, I won't even have to give you to Morino Ibiki."
"Shit! We'll talk!"
"Wonderful! Now why did you want to kill our client?"
"Huh? Kill? We wanted to kidnap him for an emergency Kirigakure engineering project that needs someone with his skills to complete. We don't want him dead!"
Kakashi looked at them. "Meizu and Gozu, chunin level nukenin, aka the 'Demon Brothers.' Last confirmed sighting: escaping Kirigakure after participating in a failed coup… Try again, this time as if I'm not an idiot," he said, holding out his hand in a victory sign. The brothers gulped, and looked apprehensively at his hand, before a spark appeared between his fingers, and ran up between them like a mad scientist's lab décor.
"Gato wants the bridge builder dead, we make things dead. We came to an arrangement," one of them managed.
"Wait, the Gato? Gato the rich tycoon?"
"Yeah, he's got hands bloodier than ours! He's got a monopoly on the boating industry around Wave, and has a choke hold over the country. Obviously a bridge to the mainland would negate most of his power over the area."
"Shut up bro! Stop offering information he hasn't asked for!"
Kakashi snorted, as his genin students watched with frowns. "All right, I won't kill you. You are going to end up in prison until the Hokage figures out what to do with you though. Goodnight!" He reached over and pinched a spot on their necks, and the two went out before they could protest.
"Alright, I need to send a report back, and we'll talk with Tazuna, then decide if we'll continue this mission."
The three looked surprised at him even mentioning the possibility of aborting the mission, but wisely withheld any comments.
Kakashi drug the still unconscious Tazuna up against a tree; making sure he was directly opposite the Demon Brothers, a fact not lost on any of the genin. Using the smelling salts again, he waited for the builder to come to.
"Wha- huh? Crap, what happened?"
"You haven't been entirely honest with us, have you Tazuna?"
"What the- you're alive! Thank heavens. You used some ninja magic? … Hell, we're in it deep."
"No, I'm afraid you're in it deep. You asked for a C-rank protection duty, when you knew you needed a B, if not A-rank mission to fix your real problem. Konoha frowns on that sort of thing, as it puts ninja at great risk, as you saw."
"Hell, I know! But I got together every spare coin in the nearest seven villages just to afford what I got! Our people are starving! I had to do something!"
"Damn it, there are systems in place for humanitarian missions; yes your country would be in debt for a few years, but the terms are extremely forgiving in this type of situation! You're lucky the people in charge are so smart, they thought something was fishy and sent me."
"You'll still help?"
"Maybe. I have a few options. What I'm supposed to do is declare the contract null and void, leave you here, and return to the village. We'd keep your payment as the penalty for making a fraudulent mission request."
Tazuna looked like he was dying. The genin winced as his spirit appeared to break.
"Of course, I could be generous, and ignore the fact you might have gotten a genin team killed."
Tazuna winced, but grabbed on to this thread of hope with desperation.
"We would carry out the original mission, and protect you from bandits and yakuza. I'm afraid we wouldn't be able to do anything if more ninja attacked though."
"Sensei!" Sakura hissed.
Kakashi glared at her, and she backed down.
"Or…"
"Or?" Tazuna asked weakly.
"Or you can sign a new contract, and hire us for the job that you need us for. Since you didn't do it the way you were supposed to, there are some parts you aren't going to like. Basically, you're going to write a blank check with your country as collateral. It's going to cost a lot, but your countrymen will be free and eating regularly. Your nation will be in debt, but have a grace period of five or ten years to get financially sound, and I swear that Konoha will only charge the fair price for whatever it takes to stabilize your country."
Tazuna sat, trying to process this. "I'm not the government. I can't put my country up for sale! My opinion has weight in a few villages, but what right do I have to do this?"
"If my guess is right, there is no government in Wave any longer. And as the only person trying to do something about the problem, you have more right than most."
Tazuna closed his eyes and sighed. "Damn, I don't have any choice, do I? I either sign away my country's future and pray you're honest and merciful, or watch my country slowly wither and starve to death. Fine, I'll sign whatever you want."
Kakashi nodded. "This isn't the place for it. We'll have to trust in each other's word for now; we'll hash it out once we get to your village. Build your strength while I send a message back to headquarters, then we'll press on."
The old drunk nodded and got up, wandering off a ways before sitting again and silently cursing the world for ending up like this.
The genin watched as Kakashi slumped for a second, before he recovered and pulled out a small scroll from one of his many pouches on his jonin vest.
"So, is that what being a ninja is about? Bullying old drunks into signing away their entire country once they're hanging over the barrel?" Sakura asked.
"Yes and no. No to everything you just said; yes it's about doing unpleasant things, sometimes to people who don't deserve it. I didn't lie about anything to him. The original contract is null, period. We could've carried it out to the letter anyway out of the goodness of our hearts, and everything would have played out fine, assuming no ninja attacked. But villages get really pissy when ninja start doing things that aren't in the contract. Most of the time it's fine, because we're always allowed to defend ourselves, and most of the problems end up attacking, or otherwise giving us an excuse. And if we provoke someone who needs to die into attacking us, well, it's usually looked over. But you cannot start giving out free service. You can't claim you accidently freed a country from oppression when you started on a C-rank bodyguard duty. Every jonin has the right to renegotiate a mission. Even genin such as yourselves have that ability in emergency situations. Just make sure you are willing to take harsh consequences if you make a deal that your superiors don't like."
As he talked, he had released the storage seal, revealing a messenger pigeon. It appeared drowsy, as if just woken from a very long sleep. Which perhaps, the genin mused, it had. It stuck its leg out and stretched its body while it waited for a message.
"Hold on, I thought you'd like a few minutes to wake up, give me moment to write it."
The pigeon hooted, then flapped itself up onto Kakashi's head, where it looked around and continued stretching. Kakashi gave it no mind, but drew a piece of paper from another pouch and started writing his missive. From what the genin could see, it made no sense, obviously a code, but not one they had been taught yet.
"Alright, its ready."
The bird hopped down onto Kakashi's arm and held out its leg, which had a small metal canister on it. Kakashi obliged, slipping the note in and fastening the plug onto the end, before tossing the bird into the air.
"Alright, we can move on now. We're going to go on, but I want you to understand things are going to get dicey. If we meet any jonin, do not engage them. Leave them to me, and protect Tazuna. Konoha knows what is going on; whatever happens, Wave will be saved. So if things look bad, I want you to run. I can take care of myself, but I don't want anything happening to you three; understand?"
The genin nodded reluctantly.
"Alright, let's move. Tazuna!"
"Yes? Time to go?"
"That's right. Cheer up, we're all going to get through this, I promise."
"I hope so. Well, let's go."
oooooo
Team seven had managed to get to Tazuna's pick up point he had arranged with a fisherman. The mood was somber; there were no more animal facts or drunken singing. The fisherman steered with one oar, as Sasuke and Naruto tried to quietly paddle the boat forward. It was harder than it looked, and the boat's owner winced every time one of the boys accidently slapped the water. They were getting better though, and soon the incomplete bridge came into view out of the light fog.
"Wow, that's impressive Tazuna," Sakura whispered. Her teammates paused their paddling and nodded in agreement.
Tazuna managed a weak grin. "It's not the biggest, prettiest, or most prominent project I've worked on, but if I get it finished, it'll be the most important, and the one I'm most proud of."
"When Tazuna- when you finish it," Naruto said, and began paddling the boat again.
oooooo
They had gotten onto dry land safely, and headed towards Tazuna's house. Everyone was on edge, and when Naruto threw a kunai into the bushes, everyone tensed. A rabbit ran out moments later, much to the embarrassment of the blond.
"Already? Hmm… Did anyone notice anything unusual about that rabbit?" Kakashi asked.
"Um, I guess it's odd for it to be white now…" Sakura ventured.
"You get a silver star when we get home. If you want a gold one, notice things like that before I prompt you- shit! Get down!" Kakashi grabbed Tazuna and dived onto the ground, as the genin hit the deck.
A massive sword spun through the air, bisecting the space they had been standing, before sticking in a tree. The ninja quickly returned to their feet and observed their new enemy, who was standing on the weapon.
"Well well, if it isn't Sharingan Kakashi himself, this will be fun!"
"Oh? Momochi Zabuza, Demon of the Mist? What is one of the Seven Swordsmen doing working for scum like Gato?"
"Tch, the Idiot Brothers talked? Of course they did, who wouldn't with the threat of sharingan based genjutsu to loosen your tongue?"
"Why the hell does he keep implying you have the sharingan?" Sasuke demanded.
"Really not the time for that, Sasuke. We can talk about that after I kick his ass."
"At least you aren't going to try and negotiate. I need the old man's head, and I like the idea of collecting yours on the way. It has quite the price on it."
"I'm aware. So does yours, and your sword would ransom quite a lot of political favor from hidden mist," Kakashi replied, hand peeling back his hitai-ite, and uncovering his second eye.
His students were only somewhat surprised, having pretty much guessed as much by now.
"You honor me, to start using it so soon, you must think I'm a serious threat," Zabuza joked.
"Enough, let's start. You three, protect our client; don't try and help."
"Hai!"
The two jonin stared at each other. In a flash of movement, Zabuza shoved off the tree with his sword. He moved not toward Kakashi, but onto the water.
"Let me show you my favorite jutsu. It's the one I'm the best at, since I rarely need a second one…" The man stood on the water's surface; his hands each making a half ram seal, one in the air above his head, the other in front of his mouth.
The genin shivered, he was focusing quite a lot of chakra into this technique. Even Tazuna could feel it without training. It was nothing like Naruto's chakra test, but if Zabuza was using this much on his starting move, it didn't bode well.
"Kirigakure no jutsu!"
The water shimmered, then started pouring up, into the air, before atomizing and spreading out into mist.
"Crap, a blind fighter? Just wonderful!" Naruto protested.
"Not just a blind fighter, but a master of silent assassination. Most of his targets don't even realize they're dead until they're in the next world," Kakashi warned.
"Well maybe he can control mist, but I'm pretty good at blowing around air!" Naruto held the bird seal for a few moments, before bringing his hands apart and slamming them together. "HYA!"
A strong blast of wind resulted, carrying off a fair amount of mist. But more quickly replaced it, and within a minute, it was if he hadn't performed it at all.
"Nice try kid, but it'll take more than that. Where to strike? Liver, lungs, spine, clavicle artery, jugular, brain, kidneys, heart. So many choices," Zabuza's voice called out from all over the mist.
"With a sword that size, one would think you wouldn't have to be that picky. Couldn't you just swing wherever, and cut your target in half with that massive phallic substitute?"
"Ah, you talk big, but it's only to cover your nervousness. Just wait until I get started…"
Suddenly an oppressive killing intent slammed over the group. Kakashi wasn't impressed, and Sasuke had felt worse from his brother, though it brought back bad memories. Naruto had produced heavier KI himself; Sakura and Tazuna were not fairing so well though.
'This is unbelievable! What are we doing fighting against a jonin? This isn't like the other fights; he's on an entirely different scale!' Sakura thought, starting to shake.
Tazuna was frozen solid, his heart was beating rapidly, a-rhythmically. 'This feeling! It's like I want to die, just to avoid his blade… Sweet Kami, I got us all killed. My country will die, and my countrymen will live like slaves. Why didn't I explain the truth at the beginning?'
"Hey, don't worry guys, it would seriously dent my reputation if I let my team die on their first C-rank."
His cavalier attitude was strangely relaxing, and broke some of the hold the smothering KI had on the group.
"That won't be the only thing dented!"
There was a flash of movement as Zabuza appeared in the group's midst, knocking over Naruto and Sasuke, and drawing back to kill his target.
*Schlick*
The swordsman froze as a kunai appeared in his back. Fluid started to drip out of the wound, but it was clear…
"Sensei!"
Another blur of movement, and Kakashi was legless for a moment. He fell towards the ground as both his legs under the knee flew off into the mist before both he and the Zabuza he'd stabbed turned to water. The real Kakashi stood with a kunai held against the new Zabuza's throat. "Yield or die."
"Heh, your eye is pretty amazing, copying my jutsu in this mist."
"Why do you assume I copied you? I am known for copying a thousand jutsu. Again, yield or die; I won't ask a third time."
"Heh, you think-"
Kakashi slashed the man's throat, but turned as another Zabuza appeared behind him, already swinging. Kakashi bent over backwards; barely avoiding the blade. Zabuza continued the motion, however, using the momentum of the sword to spin around again and kick him into the water. Zabuza flashed after him, starting a jutsu as he approached.
"Water Prison no jutsu!"
Kakashi was pulled off the top of the water into a large sphere; Zabuza stood with his arm stuck in it and laughed.
"Haha, I'm afraid it's already over. This prison is impossible to break out from. I'll let you watch me kill the rest of your team before I finish you though."
"Students! Take Tazuna and run! It's over!"
The genin were understandably nervous, but stayed where they were.
"I don't know, this could be another test… what if you're another shadow clone, pretending to be caught to see what we do?" Naruto asked.
"Then I'd expect you to follow my orders!"
The three looked at each other. "We're not convinced, sensei. And it would seriously mess up our eventual legend if we let our sensei die on our very first C-rank," Sakura said with grin.
"Especially without even trying," Sasuke added.
"Heh, you kids think you're ninja? On your very first C-rank? Don't make me laugh; you haven't faced the real challenges and adversity life has in store. You haven't seen enough blood."
"Devil of the Bloody Mist…"
"Hoh? My, you are well informed, Kakashi."
"What're you talking about sensei?"
"In past decades there was a graduation test in Hidden Mist, also called Bloody Mist. There were survival death fights between the students until the classes were reduced to a third of their starting size. Whoever was left was skilled enough in either stealth, combat, or trickery to deserve inclusion into the ranks."
"Sweet Kami…" Sakura let out.
"… Wow, that's stupid, even leaving out the moral outrageousness," Naruto said.
"That's what I thought," Zabuza chuckled.
"Wait; you killed your entire graduating class with the intention of changing the policy?" Kakashi asked.
"Don't get me wrong, I'm a bastard. There were quite a lot of those punks I enjoyed killing. But yeah, the Battle Royal policy was retarded; so many decent ninja were getting killed for no reason. I knew it would take something earthshattering to reverse the tradition. And not every other kid in my class year got killed…"
"Huh, a killer with a heart of pyrite. Still, I think we can put up a fight with you stuck to that bubble with only one arm free," Naruto boasted.
"Then show me; mizu-bunshin no jutsu!"
Three more Zabuza formed, complete with swords. The blades would be strong enough to slice one of the genin in half, though blocks by a kunai would probably disperse them, and likely the entire clone. Of course, if one of them tried to block the massive sword with a kunai, they'd soon be dead, despite the clone dispersing afterwards.
Naruto responded likewise, "Kage-bunshin no jutsu!" 50 clones appeared, ready to do battle.
"You're an idiot, brat. None of those will have any power left in them, though it's impressive you can stand after making that many."
The sea of black and orange suited blonds smirked, then rallied. All the clones got between team seven and Zabuza, jumping back and forth and generally creating a moving wall. A handful henged into Sasuke, while a couple changed into Sakura. Then 40 ninja charged the center of the field, heading straight towards the middle water-clone in a cluster. The copy didn't blink, just simply swung its sword just as the clones got into range.
However the clones didn't pop, as they had ground to a halt right outside the blade's reach, gluing themselves to the ground with chakra for the necessary delta V. The ones in the back leapt up and vaulted off the halted ones, flying past the watery Zabuza, while a real Sasuke slid a kunai into it as the clone started a second swing. The group started running after the group in the front, wanting to concentrate their force.
Zabuza frowned, as one mizu-bunshin sped back towards his real body. The other one however, ran towards Tazuna, guarded by just a handful of ninja. He wasn't able to tell where any of the real genin were, but was confidant that the clone could take out his target, even if it was destroyed in the process.
The water clone rushed in, as his opponents threw shuriken, and several started the cutting breeze jutsu. Easily blocking and batting away the projectiles with the large width of his sword, the water clone slowed as it watched the mouthy punk multiply again. This time the kid wasn't fooling around, as over a hundred blond shrimp started to fan out and throw more projectiles. Amazed and frightened, the water clone hurled its blade at Tazuna with all its might before getting hit by a kunai. The sword flew through a few shadow clones, but both Naruto and Tazuna had been tossed aside by the time it arrived.
Meanwhile, things weren't going so smooth for the attack force. Bolstered by the ease of destroying the first mizu-bunshin; the first group of shadow clones tried to overwhelm the second mizu-bunshin with numbers. It was a poor decision, as the watery Zabuza used the sword as a shield, dealing with the group with efficient punches and kicks. He often would pull on one clone's attacking limb, placing it in the path of a second one; one or sometimes both would be popped as a result.
After half had been destroyed, the rest fell back again, making the moving wall. The water clone smiled, and started a jutsu. Kakashi and Zabuza watched with bated breath, knowing that if the shadow clones destroyed this mizu-bunshin, Zabuza would kill Kakashi before abandoning the water prison.
"Cutting breeze no jutsu!"
"Suiton: Scattershot no jutsu!"
From behind the wall of blonds, five blades of wind flew out, passing through a couple of kage-bunshin who didn't bother moving.
In the opposite direction, water blasted off the surface as if a giant had slapped its hand down in a pool-splash game.
The mizu-bunshin dived to the side as the blades approached, but the real target became obvious as the blades curved slighty, heading towards the real Zabuza.
The group of shadow clones was totally routed. A few managed to dive under water, but almost every one of them had gotten hit with a glob of water from the spray. It would only have caused bruising on a ninja, but for the fragile clones, it was the perfect attack.
The blades kept going though, and were about to slice Zabuza to ribbons when he stuck his other arm into the water prison, and jumped over it to the other side.
'Well, it was a great try, but not enough for a jonin of his caliber. I hope you all get away,' Kakashi thought, prepared to die as soon as Zabuza recovered.
As Zabuza was coming down though, Sasuske shimmered into place. "Gokakyu no jutsu!"
Zabuza's eyes widened as he saw the fireball approach. Immediately upon landing, he sprung away, avoiding direct contact, but getting singed from the heat.
"Genjutsu? Damn it, I hate burns! I'm going to gut you and the blond brat!"
He charged forward, as Sasuke turned to run. He was too slow at this distance though, and was about to be sliced in half.
Blam!
Kakashi slammed into Zabuza perpendicularly, knocking him off his feet, and into the water. "Sasuke, Sakura; good job! Get off the water and regroup with Naruto. I can take it from here!"
Sakura shimmered into place, and both she and Sasuke nodded before running back to Tazuna.
"Heh, they aren't bad. Too bad I'm going to kill you all. The old man's price is too much to turn down, even if I ignore the value of your sharingan."
"I hadn't warmed up yet the first time, and all of your mist is gone. Round two is going to be a horse of a different color."
"We'll see."
The two began a melee, using both taijutsu and kenjutsu (Kakashi had pulled out his special kunai). It was furious in it's speed and power. Both took hits but only paused for the blink of an eye before returning to the battle. At last, they clashed swords simultaneously, launching them apart. They stood; cut, bruised, and bleeding from the numerous close calls each had made on the other.
Zabuza suddenly started flashing signs with Kakashi following only a heartbeat after. As he approached the end, Zabuza noted that his opponent had caught up.
"Suiton: Suiryudan no jutsu!/Suiton: Suiryudan no jutsu!"
Two massive dragons shot out of the water, headed at each combatant, before slamming into each other. They splashed apart magnificently, a breathtaking sight many would pay to see were it not for the professional killers below.
'Damn that eye-'
"-of his, it's copying my moves… Or can I see more?"
"Grr… Damn you,"
"-you monkeying bastard, I'll pluck your eye out."
The two started a jutsu again. Zabuza ran through the sequence as fast as he could, trying to outpace his frustrating opponent.
'He's copying it faster than I'm performing it!'
"Water Explosion no jutsu!'
A vortex of water, like a horizontal waterspout, rushed forward at the panicked nukenin. So much water was in the air that the shoreline receded a noticeable amount, and a few rowboats lay stranded on the sand until the technique ended. Slowly the water fell back to earth, the entire area raining with chakra infused water.
oooooo
The rain ended, showing Zabuza slammed against a mangrove tree. Kakashi stood above him with a kunai.
"Can you… see the… future?"
"…Close enough." He reached down to slice his defeated opponent's neck.
Schlick Schlick
Two massive needles embedded themselves through Zabuza's neck, killing him instantly.
Kakashi faced the new player to the scene with caution. "A hunter nin? My, you're lucky, getting here just in time…"
"My apologies, jonin-san. I have been tracking him for some time, and knew he was in the area. However, he was laying low. I sensed the commotion and arrived as soon as possible. Again, I apologize for stealing your kill, but the dishonor of a nukenin must be erased by our own hands whenever possible."
Kakashi covered his eye and grew stone-faced. "Of course. One moment." He knelt down to the body and checked for a pulse or breath. Finding none, he nodded. "I'm afraid though, that while you may have delivered the final blow, I did all the work. Konoha will receive compensation for my actions in helping you with your goal, correct?"
"Of course, you have saved me no end of trouble. Here."
The masked ninja withdrew a small metal canister, and activated a seal on it. The end opened up, allowing her to remove a tightly rolled parchment, which she tossed down to Kakashi. He caught it and read it, then put it away, nodding.
Tazuna and the genin had been silent throughout all this. The sudden addition of a hunter-nin was jarring to the genin, and Tazuna had no clue what was going on. The three genin were approaching cautiously, leading Tazuna behind them.
"All right. While it would have been cool for my students to carry in one of the seven swords to Konoha, some political favors will do nicely. Good day."
The masked ninja nodded and jumped down from the tree to Zabuza's corpse. "Good day to you as well. Excuse me now, I must dispose of him."
Kakashi frowned as the Mist ninja disappeared with the body. Slowly, he sat down, then lay back on the ground.
"Sensei? Are you injured?" Sakura asked as the three ran up.
"Not badly. Unfortunately, I'm… nearly out of chakra. Between the two large jutsu and using… the sharingan so much, I'm going to be… in rough shape for a while. Tazuna, are we staying at your home?"
"Yes, it's not too far. Thank you all, so much. I'm so sorry I got you all mixed into this. I should have trusted Leaf to take care of us to begin with."
"Can you walk Sensei?"
"Sorry, I'll… need to be carried. Actually, I think I'm… about to lose… consciousn-" he slumped, his prediction coming true.
Naruto sighed. "Sometimes it's a drag being able to multiply yourself. Everyone always expects you to do the heavy lifting."
"Aww, that's so sad. The guy who can make hundreds of autonomous copies of himself is expected to do a little more. Well gee, I guess you should never use it," Sasuke said, voice heavy with sarcasm.
Sakura snorted, and Naruto rolled his eyes as his clones picked up Kakashi.
The team followed Tazuna onward to his house.
oooooo
Naruto and Sakura were standing over their sensei, who was lying in bed, while Sasuke watched from the corner. They had managed to get to Tazuna's home without any additional problems. On arrival, the group had been warmly greeted by Tsunami, the bridge builder's daughter, who had ushered them in and put Kakashi in the best bed so he could heal.
"I don't know, even if we put it back, he'll probably know we took it off somehow," Sakura worried.
"We'll just say that Tsunami took it off to wash it," Naruto suggested. This wasn't a stretch, as Kakashi was mostly in his underwear and bandages. Tsunami wasn't letting him wear bloodied clothes under her watch, and had stripped the man down to his skivvies before she and Sakura had doctored his assortment of minor wounds.
Naruto reached up to peel back the mask when Kakashi's eye opened.
Naruto whipped his hand back. "You're awake! Wonderful, we were worried sensei!"
Kakashi chuckled, and his face gained that look which the genin had figured out meant he was smiling.
"Thanks, I appreciate the sentiments. And the doctoring as well; did someone help Sakura?"
"Yes, Tsunami, Tazuna's daughter. She's not a medic, but she can clean and dress a wound with the stuff I brought pretty well."
Kakashi nodded. "I'm afraid I have bad news."
"Oh Kami, you can't die yet! You haven't passed on your wisdom! You're too young to die, Sensei!" Naruto cried loudly, with much over-the-top melodrama.
Everyone rolled their eyes as Tazuna and Tsunami ran in.
"Calm down, he's fine," Sakura explained to them, "Naruto is just being stupid."
They nodded and frowned at the boy.
"As I was saying, I have some bad news. Zabuza isn't dead."
oooooo
End Chapter the Tenth
A/N: I guess this makes it clear that fight scenes are probably my weakness, not great when dealing with a subject like Naruto. Hopefully it's not too bad. I find that good action scene writers often have played sports or have a serious belt in a martial art. People who are or were in the armed forces tend to write good fight scenes as well.