I do not own FMA. Enjoy!
At first, Roy hadn't been sure what he was looking at.
Riza had told told to follow her up to her room after the funeral, explaining that it was there that she could show him the secrets to flame alchemy that he needed to know. The choice of her words had struck him as odd - the word "could" suggested to him that her room was the only place that he could see these notes in - why not the living room or even his room? He figured it was all on paper, anyway; couldn't he just take them to either one of those places? At the time, he had decided not to press it, chalking it up to one of Riza's eccentricities that had made him so fond of her.
It was once they had entered her room, Roy closing the door behind him, that he realized the meaning behind her word choice.
He hadn't known what he was seeing at first because Roy's mind had been trying to fully understand two things: His former teacher's daughter was topless in front of him (granted, only her back was being shown to him, but still) and there was something red marking her back. Something red and curved and oh. Oh. Once he fully realized that this red, curved marking was an array, the array that would complete his knowledge of flame alchemy, and that it had been tattooed onto Riza's back, he couldn't stop looking at it.
With fascination was how he initially reacted to it, looking at the array with wide, curious eyes. It was amazingly intricate, the pattern itself looking as if it had taken precise moves to copy. Roy found it hard to believe that his teacher, who had been ailing and rather weak in the months before he died, had been able to draw it so perfectly.
It was with that thought that fascination suddenly met utter horror, remembering with an almost physical start that it wasn't drawn on, but tattooed. It was a permanent marking on Riza Hawkeye's skin, one she could never destroy.
Roy had honestly wanted to slap himself, he was that taken aback with how he'd been thinking.
He hadn't thought to ask if she was OK, hadn't even started to wonder how she must have felt about this - not just about the fact that she was topless in front of the boy who had been her father's student - and her friend - for years, but about everything. About her father using her like that, about it all. No, what he had done was ogle her like her back wasn't a part of a living, breathing person, like he was simply viewing the pattern on a piece of paper. Roy realized that, in that way, he was no better than Riza's father; looking at Riza not as a human with her own feelings and thoughts, but only as a scrap of paper. A means to an end.
He refused to do that, not again, anyway. Not to Riza, who deserved so much better and who Roy was fairly certain he had fallen in love with. She deserved his respect, not his selfish want to obtain secrets.
His footsteps were barely audible as he walked closer to Riza, hesitating before placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. He heard her breath hitch under his touch, yet she didn't flinch. Not daring to move his hand any lower, Roy's voice was a guilt filled whisper as he spoke.
"I'm sorry, Riza...you didn't...I should have..." She didn't want? Deserve it? He should have what? Protected her? Both these things were true, but Roy was desperately afraid that any apologies or regrets he had would be too little too late, the fire truck arriving at a house that had already burned to the ground. Even though his mind was swimming in his conflicted emotions, he pressed on.
"...He shouldn't have done this. Marking you like this...I can't imagine how...h-how it was for you. Riza...Riza, I'm so sorry, I-" his words had been cut off by Riza suddenly turning around under his loose grip, her shirt falling as she gripped the back of Roy's jacket tightly. As his hands slowly went to hold her shaking body against his, hearing her breathing go uneven due to her sobbing, he realized that all the pain Riza had harbored because of the tattoo wasn't intricate at all.
It was simple, raw, and heartbreakingly real.
Fun fact- It was one year ago today that I posted Dream, so I think it's kinda funny to celebrate another chapter anniversary with a new chapter. I'm also really sorry for not updating in nearly three months- it seems this summer was the Summer of Writing Block for me. I think I finally broke through it, though, so hopefully as fall starts, new chapters will be coming much more regularly.