Chapter 2

As the flashy blue cylinder of light vanished from around Pete and Dessie, the farmer found himself in a dark room.

"Where are we?" he asked his guide.

"Your old bedroom!"

Pete looked around and was amazed that it had only just dawned on him. The old furnishings, the smaller space, it was exactly as it was when he was little. And there in the corner, was his boyhood self, asleep in bed. At least trying to sleep in his bed. The childhood persona of Claire was jumping up and down, frantically trying to wake him.

"Pete! Get up! It's Starry Night Morning!"

"Oh boy!" said Little Pete "I can't wait to get to the farm!"

"That's right." said adult Pete "This Christmas we spent it on Gramps' farm. I used to love visiting his farm in Winter. There was always so much food on the table. Mealtimes always felt special..."

"And you could just taste the love in every bite, huh, Pete?" said Dessie

"Actually it's because not many vegetables grow in winter, so you appreciate them more. That's why I always keep some from my Fall harvest back. Supply and demand."

Dessie pouted at her failure to bring out the holiday spirit from this money hungry mortal.

In what seemed like the blink of an eye Pete saw his younger self and Claire under the tree opening presents.

"Wow! Sixteen bits!" young Claire cried with ecstatic joy.

"Oh yeah." said Pete "This is the year Claire got her Super Nintendo." he remembered the fun they had working through Mario World, going on the rampage through Turtles In Time, even the times with Claire whooping him at Street Fighter held some fun to be had.

"How about you, Pete?" Dessie asked him "What about your present"

Young Pete opened up his box and a huge smile spread across his face as he unpacked his new train set.

"I didn't know you were a train spotter."

"I was NOT a train spotter! I was a train ENTHUSIAST!"

He then went on to lecture Dessie at length about how all spotters are enthusiasts but not all enthusiasts are spotters. Train spotting was more akin to waiting on the station platform to take the locomotive's number and add it to a collection book. Basically the Pokemon GO(!) of the days of steam. Train enthusiasm on the other hand was more of an umbrella, incorporating numerous activities relating to locomotives.

"When I first took over Paradise farm, I actually dreamed of saving my money to buy an actual steam engine." Pete explained, "Just like the farmer who owns Union of South Africa."

Dessie's jaw dropped and her eyes widened.

"A farmer owns the entire South of Africa?! No wonder you're so money conscious!"

"It's a steam engine, it's NAME is Union of South Africa!"

Pete's lecture on steam engines ended and the two saw the family sitting at the table to eat their meal.

"Have some potatoes, Pete!" said Gramps to the child "What would you like? Mashed, boiled, fried, chipped?"

"Some of everything!" the boy cheered.

"Don't eat too much!" warned his mother "Remember to save room for dessert!"

"I have a separate stomach for pie!" said young Pete

"That's good!" said Gramps "I have apple, lime, banana, sweet potato, cherry or vanilla cheese cake!"

"He really likes pie." Dessie observed. She then observed the very minimum of a smile on Pete's lips as he watched his younger self devouring Yam pies.

"You see how happy you were back then?" she asked him "With lovely holiday memories like this, how could you possibly be grumpy at this time of the year?"

Pete's smile came to fall.

"Take us to the year before last. I'll show you."

Dessie pulled out her time travelling ocarina and played a few bars. When the brilliant blue light faded, they were at the local inn. A far cry from the pie and potato buffet of years prior, this time, Pete sat alone at the bar, conversing with Doug, the landlord.

"So you couldn't find a date tonight?"

"So." sighed the Pete from two years ago "Elli and Ann are busy tonight, Karen's out with Rick, Mary's out with Gray and I don't know anyone else well enough to invite them out." That wasn't exactly true. He could ask them out regardless of how well he knew the ladies, but they didn't know him well enough that they'd be comfortable saying yes.

"But that's just one Starry Night you spent alone!" said Dessie "You can't let that sour you!"

"I didn't." said Pete "I let THIS sour me."

No sooner had the last word left him than the right honourable Thomas, lord mayor of Mineral Town waddled over, with an elevated behavioural walk that broadcast that he may have been drinking.

"Another year gone, eh? Remember our promise though! IF you don't intergre...intarog...intercit..."

"Integrate?" past Pete offered.

"Um...yes, that...if you don't do it, I'll take the farm away!"

"Can he do that?" Dessie asked.

"Technically. The land the farm is built on is owned by the Mineral Town council. So he can have me kicked off the farm any time he likes. Both this year and the year after he reminded me. So if I don't work hard enough to succeed I'll lose my job, my house...everything."

"Come on, you don't honestly think he's out to get you? You can't hate the holiday just for that."

"I don't its, just part of it. Fast Forward to next year."

When the light faded, they were in Pete's farm house. The Pete from the year before was wrapped up in multiple layers. Outside, a blizzard raged. The Pete of yesteryear was rummaging through his cupboards.

"Well, Towser, there's one tin of dogfood left." he said to his dog. He then opened the tin, scooped a small measure of the food onto a little plate.

Then he took a fork and began to eat it. After a few mouthfuls of the thick meaty pate' he handed the plate down to Towser who nibbled with great gusto.

"You ate dogfood?! That's disgusting!" Dessie cried.

"I know, but this blizzard lasted for five days in a row. We couldn't leave the house all week. I couldn't collect the eggs, milk the cows, access the cheese maker, go to the store, nothing. We had to get whatever food we could. It was our only hope to stay alive."

"But...dogfood? Was that really all the food left in the house?"

"Well, no, there was a tin of chilli powder, half pack of stale kettle chips, a slushy brown apple and half a bottle of vinegar."

When the blizzard finally subsided, Pete of the past ran to the chicken coop. His hens hadn't eaten in a week and he was frantically running around performing damage control. He administered medicine to most of his sick animals, but there was one left- Jane, his prize hen. The chicken who had won him the chicken festival that year. He needed more medicine for Jane. So he ran frantically to the Poultry Farm.

"Unfortunate, the Poultry farm is closed on Sundays." Pete explained, "When I got there, Lillia told me that Rick had the key to their medicine cabinet. And since it was his day off, he was out with Karen. I ran all over town looking for him."

The next vision, they were outside the church. Snow was still resting on the buildings, amid the smoky grey sky. Snow covered the entire village, hanging over the villagers.

Over all the living.

And the dead.

"We are gathered today to commemorate the life Jane, prized hen of Paradise Farm."

"Aw no." said Dessie "Poor little Jane..."

"By the time I got the medicine it was took late." said Pete, taking off his hat, as he watched the eulogy. Seeing again brought all his sorrow back. But then that sorrow turned to anger as he watched Rick yelling at his past self.

"How could you let this happen?! I believed in you!"

"I tried..." Pete of the past said, standing up "But I couldn't you to get the medicine..."

"That's your problem!" Rick snapped "If you had planned ahead, this never would have happened, you irresponsible clod!"

Fist fights sadly happen more often that we would like at funerals. It happens easily enough- someone makes a well intentioned statement (or in this case an unpopular opinion), it then gets misinterpreted or taken to heart, emotions run hot and before you know it otherwise decent people behave like animals at the most inappropriate of times- as became all too clear when Pete jumped at Rick and they rolled on the floor in a flurry of fists, amid the screaming mourners. But it was at this moment that Dessie finally understood why people sometimes spelt Rick's name with a silent 'P'.

"I'll get you in a VULCAN NERVE PINCH!" (P)Rick screamed, only for his war cry to be replaced with "OW! NO BITING!" as Pete's teeth dug into his forearm.

Pete's dog Towser seeing his master engaged in an epic battle leapt into the fray, going for (P)Rick's leg and mascaraing his suit. (P)Rick's childhood friend Karen took the liberty of tagging herself in to separate the two naughty boys and pushed Pete away. Being stronger than she looks, Karen unintentionally sent Pete tumbling back into the poor Reverend Carter, who in turn dropped his candle of mourning, which went sailing into the grave of dear departed Jane, setting the small wooden coffin on fire and ending the funeral with the tragic inappropriate (but delicious) smell of roast chicken.

"Enough! Don't show me any more, Dessie!"said Pete, red in the face. That last vision wasn't just humiliating, but it brought his holiday humbug back with a vengeance.

Dessie brought Pete back to his house, specifically the bathroom.

"Now do you see why I hate the holiday season?"

Dessie let out a sigh. Pete thought for a moment that she was going to cry. She meant to show him how much he used to love the holiday season, but just ended up making it worse. The thought did make him feel just a tiny little prong of guilt.

"Oh well!" she said nonchalantly "Maybe my aunt will have better luck." she said brightening up. Then she pulled a strawberry out of her dress and gave it to Pete.

"Here, flush this down the toilet!" she said before evaporating into thin air.

Flush it down the toilet? That seemed sort of random. Wasteful too. The strawberry looked perfect. Such a brilliant shade of red.

Flush it! Came a voice. Pete knew that if he tried to put the strawberry in his shipping bin, or ate it, it would literally come back to haunt him. So he did as instructed and flushed the strawberry down the toilet.

All of a sudden there was an explosion of light and an ear shattering fanfare

"Dum Dum Da Da! It's me! The Amazing Harvest Goddess and part time spirit of Holiday Present!"

To be continued