They had been planet side for almost a year, married for most of that time, had even considered adopting a kid after the next mission, and still Jim couldn't quite believe that this was his reality now. That he got to wake up every day next to the man he loved, got to grouch about how young the new recruits at the Academy were while Bones laughed at him, got to introduce his best friend as his husband…it had been easier to wrap his head around a time travelling Romulan than it was to comprehend how he had got so lucky.

It wasn't that he doubted Bones loved him – hell, the man had spent years showing Jim exactly how much he loved him, Jim knew it to be true the way he knew the Enterprise was the best ship in the fleet. It was just…constant vigilance. Jim had had his guard up all his life, Bones had managed to slip through his defences by pure stubbornness, and while the crew was held dear to Jim and he wouldn't hesitate to die for any one of them, it was different. They had been on two five-year missions, faced Nero, Khan, and Krall, the crew had experienced losses and while that never got easier to deal with and Jim would always carry a sick feeling of guilt in his gut for the ones he couldn't save, he could keep going, keep living. But if he lost Bones?

What if he had to face the reality of waking up every day and not having his husband there? Of not adopting the child that they had both fallen in love with the idea of? That was a thought so unthinkable that his brain stuttered to a stop over it and refused to work again until he thought of something else. The fact of the matter was, Jim had lost everyone in his life that meant something to him: his father, his brother, his friends on Tarsus, Chris Pike. If he hadn't spent so many years around such a logical being as Spock, he'd begin to think he was cursed. Jim knew it wasn't rational to be so convinced that something or someone would come along and rip Bones away from him, he knew it…but fear was rarely rational.

Occasionally, Bones would find him sat in his ready room with his head propped up on his fist, staring at nothing, his thoughts swirling so fast inside his mind that nothing settled long enough for him to focus on it. Bones would watch him a few moments and when he showed no sign of noticing his presence, he would cross the room and gently pull Jim from his chair. Sometimes he'd murmur something too low for Jim to hear, sometimes he was silent, Jim hadn't managed to find a correlation between the two yet…although, he should probably get on that.

Now though, Bones stood in the doorway of the ready room, watching his husband stare vacantly at the opposite wall and knew that tonight wasn't the time to be silent, something was clearly bothering Jim and Bones was determined to get to the bottom of it.

''Jim?'' He said, venturing to his husbands' side and placing a hand on his shoulder. ''You with me?''

Jerking out of his reverie, Jim nodded, ''Of course, Bones. Always.'' He stood and tried for a smile, missing by a mile.

''Whatever is on your mind Jim, spit it out. I can't help you if I don't know the problem.'' Bones tried, gently.

Shrugging, Jim replied, ''Just…it's nothing, Bones. Just tired, I guess. Let's go home, huh?'' He made his way around the desk and towards the door, Bones hesitated but followed along after a moment. They made the walk to their quarters in silence, which seemed to suit Jim but irked Bones to no end. Jim was rarely silent, and Bones knew that a Jim that enjoyed the quite was a Jim that was crying out for help inside.

After reaching their quarters, Jim mumbled something about a shower and left Bones standing in the living area. He sighed again, raking a hand through his hair and dropping down on to the plush sofa. Jim fell into these moods every so often; it had started to get more frequent after the shit show with Khan and usually Bones drew Jim out of his dark thoughts by distracting him with sex or dinner plans with friends. Though, some sixth sense that Bones had for dealing with Jim told him that neither of those things were going to cut it this time. Bones needed to get to the root of the problem before he could diagnose and treat the ailment.

Eventually, Jim emerged from the bathroom and made his way to the bedroom, droplets of water snaking their way down his neck from his hair and running down the length of his back before merging with the towel around his waist. Jim didn't look up from pulling sleep wear out of the dresser as Bones stepped around the partition and into their bedroom. He didn't look up as Bones drew closer and gently but firmly guided him to the bed and sat them both down on the edge.

''Y'know when we made those vows a while back, I meant them. I meant every damn word and I don't take them lightly. I know you don't either, so how about we make good on them, huh?'' He took Jim's hand and played with the ring on his finger as he spoke. ''Talk to me, darlin'.''

Jim shuddered and started to shake his head before suddenly his shoulders dropped, and he snorted in resignation. ''You know the easiest way to predict to future, Bones?''

Bones shook his head, ''No, Jim.''

''The easiest way to predict the future is to expect the past.'' Jim said, voice catching on the last word. His fingers were cold in Bones' hands and they trembled slightly, though he knew Jim would hate for him to notice. Instead, Bones got to his feet and went over to the dresser to pick up the clothes that Jim had dropped there. He brought them over to the bed and once again took one of Jim's hands in his own and pulled him upright. It took no time at all to unwrap the towel from his husband's waist and use it to dry his hair, before replacing it with the warm sleep pants and t-shirt combo that Jim had picked out. That job done, he pulled Jim into bed and settled them both under the covers before opening his arms in invitation, warm satisfaction rising in his chest as Jim laid his head on Bones' shoulder.

''Y'know Jim, you're one hell of a man, the things you've done have literally shaped the universe we live in, but if there's one thing I know you can't do…'' Bones said, his gaze locked on to the ceiling above him. ''It's predict the future.'' Jim tensed in his arms causing him to rub soothing circles into Jim's side. ''That's not a bad thing, Jim. No one can predict the future, no one should. Knowing what's to come would drive most people mad. Besides, the not knowing is half of the adventure, right?''

Jim was quiet for a few moments before propping himself up on an elbow and staring down at Bones. ''I don't need to know everything about the future, Bones. We'll deal with whatever happens when it happens, that's not what I'm worried about.''

''Then what, Jim?''

''I want to know our future, Bones. Yours and mine. I need to know what to expect so that I can keep you safe.'' He said, vehemently.

Surprised at the sudden force in Jim's voice, Bones blinked and tried to think of something to say.

''Jim…our future isn't something either of us can be certain of. We know what we both want to happen, and how we wish to spend it, but that doesn't mean it's set in stone. There's nothing we can do to predict what's to come, but we've already sworn to face it together.'' He eventually replied, his voice soft. ''Isn't that enough?''

Eyes flicking between his husbands' own, gaze searching for something that Bones couldn't even begin to fathom, Jim nodded slowly. The fear was still there, probably always would be, but that wouldn't stop him from enjoying his life with Bones. Wouldn't stop him from making plans for their future, whether they came to fruition or not. Bones was right – they had already faced so much together and had come out on top, he might not be able to predict the future, he might even have to someday face a life without Bones, but right now he had his husband safe beneath him, his heart beating a steady rhythm under his palm, and he knew that no matter what waited for them down the line, they'd face it together.

''Yeah Bones, that's enough.''