"I'm Professor Longbottom! It is my utmost pleasure to welcome you to my magnificent and wonderful home of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" Ted eyed the overly cheery round-faced man wearily. He stared at his extended hand for several seconds. Liam elbowed him hard, reminding Ted to shake the man's hand. This was a human tradition that Ted never understood; nevertheless, he shook the man's sweaty hand.

"So what made you decide to accept your invitation to Hogwarts at this point of your academic career, Nathaniel? May I call you Nathaniel? Or do you have any short name you go by, Nate or perhaps Natey?" asked Professor Longbottom. Every professor Ted had met at Hogwarts the day he went there to take his OWLs had referred to him by his last name.

"You may call me Ted," Ted replied. He had already told one student that Ted was his nickname, so he decided that he should stick to it. Liam elbowed him hard again.

"But Nathaniel, your name is Nathaniel," Liam said. "It's not Ted, nor has it ever been Ted."

"But Father, you know my nickname is Ted," Ted said with an inconspicuous wink to Liam. Liam was posing as Nathaniel's father to make Ted feel more comfortable, and because Nathaniel's father had no desire to spend an afternoon engaging in polite conversation with a foul wizard. He and his family stepped out of the house for the day. It felt strange for Ted to refer to Liam as a father. Although Liam had taken care of Ted his entire life, he thought of Liam more as an older brother than a father.

"Ok, then I will call you Ted from now on!" said Professor Longbottom brightly. "I want all of my students to feel as comfortable as possible, because school can be a bit of a stressful time with all the challenging work to cope with." Professor Longbottom's perpetual smile wavered slightly, and Ted got the feeling that the professor was speaking from his own experience.

"Right then, I have your OWL scores right here." The professor handed Ted a thick envelope. The contents said:

ORDINARY WIZARD LEVEL RESULTS

Pass Grades Fail Grades

Outstanding (O) Poor (P)

Exceeds Expectations (E) Dreadful (D)

Acceptable (A) Troll (T)

Nathaniel Ross Rowland Jr has achieved:

Arithmancy D

Astronomy P

Charms E

Defence Against the Dark Arts O

Herbology A

History of Magic P

Muggle Studies E

Potions E

Transfiguration E

Ted had to reread his scores five times to believe them. They weren't half bad. Not that Ted actually cared about the assessment a bunch of dumb wizards made of his knowledge. Or most of the dumb subjects wizards assessed young wizard's knowledge on.

Alistar had always been a strict teacher, but Ted never cared to learn from him and was easily able to ignore his threats and punishments, so he didn't try too hard to study unless he enjoyed a subject.

He and Alistar thought Astronomy was a useless subject in which he was expecting to receive a Troll, so a Poor was a pleasant surprise. Ted hated Arithmancy; however, Alistar found it fascinating and always pushed Ted to excel in it. Ted ran in the opposite direction and this reflected in his poor grade of a Dreadful. He didn't even understand why he had to take Arithmancy, but Hogwarts required students to take two OWLs in two extra subjects. Alistar insisted he take the extra OWLs in Arithmancy and Study of Ancient Runes because he enjoyed those two boring subjects. Luckily, Liam put him in Muggle Studies because he said it would be easy for him since they hung out in the muggle world so much, and because Ted lived in a muggle apartment, full of muggle appliances that Ted and Mark screwed around with for fun. Liam was right as always. Ted only had to study for two days to achieve his Exceeds Expectations in Muggle Studies. Ted always thought Charms and Potions were interesting subjects and was happy to receive an Exceeds Expectations. Ted was indifferent to Herbology so an Acceptable was an acceptable score for him. Ted found Transfiguration challenging. He didn't think his exam had gone too well. When he tried to turn brussels sprouts into chocolate cake the cake turned green, and his examiner had to spit it out into a napkin when she tasted it. But after that Ted impressed her when he was able to transform his face into a bear's face. She probably had no idea that he was a metamorphagus. Defence Against the Dark Arts was the easiest exam due to all the training he did with Alistar in fighting. Still he was surprised and happy to see an Outstanding. A History of Magic was the most boring subject he had ever had to study. He had no idea how he managed to achieve a score of Poor.

"Those are impressive scores," Professor Longbottom said into Ted's ear. Ted jumped slightly. He didn't realize that Professor Longbottom was peering earnestly over his shoulder the entire time Ted was reading his scores, just inches away from his face.

"Now you may decide which subjects you would like to take for your NEWT levels. Then I'll give you your schedule and a list of books and supplies which you will need for the subjects you choose," Professor Longbottom stated brightly.

And then you can finally leave us alone Ted thought to himself.

"What subjects would you like to take?"

"Defence Against the Dark Arts and Muggle Studies," Ted answered. He was going to take Defence Against the Dark Arts so he could observe the students and their knowledge of defensive magic so the werewolves could make better strategies, and Muggle Studies because it would be easy.

"Ok, I will put you down for Defence Against the Dark Arts." He pulled a blank parchment out of his pocket and tapped it with his wand. The words Defence Against the Dark Arts appeared on the blank parchment along with times and certain days of the week next to it. "However, if you have passed three OWLs you are required to take three NEWT level subjects at Hogwarts. And unfortunately Hogwarts does not offer a NEWT level in Muggle Studies," said Professor Longbottom with his perpetual smile. Ted hadn't expected this. He wasn't sure what to do.

Professor Longbottom hardly gave him two seconds to think when he said, "Why don't you take Herbology?"

"But I only got an Acceptable," said Ted.

"That is quite alright. I accept any student with a passing score on their OWL. Hell, I would accept students who failed their OWL too if I was allowed to. I think all students should be given equal opportunities no matter what the circumstances may be."

Ted was quite surprised to hear such a remark from a wizard. He always thought it was ridiculous of wizards to force their young to take all these stressful exams. Then compare their performance to one another, thus making some feel inferior to others, and then not allow them to have the same opportunities as those who had scored better. These tests were also a ridiculous way to assess a student's knowledge, because a few random questions could never encompass a person's entire knowledge range. There was clearly a strong element of luck involved in the scores students received.

"Well it's settled then," said Professor Longbottom, breaking Ted from his chain of thoughts. "I will put you down for Herbology. Ted opened his mouth to speak, but before any words came out the Professor had tapped Ted's schedule with his wand and Herbology appeared on it. Ted turned to Liam for help, but he was busy playing with Nathaniel's golden-yellow pet cat Caramel.

"What else would you like to take? You have scored an Exceeds Expectations in Charms, Transfiguration, and Potions, why don't you take those subjects?" the Professor asked.

Ted hesitated. He was supposed to take as few subjects as possible so he would have time to focus on his goals, though it wasn't as if his grades actually mattered.

"With all of these subjects you will have excellent career opportunities. You could become an Auror, or you could become a Healer and you could qualify for almost any position in the Ministry of Magic."

Ted sneered at this. Professor Longbottom looked at him inquisitively, so Ted turned his sneer into a cough.

"This will be a perfect schedule. I'll put you down for all of these subjects," said Professor Longbottom. Ted tried to protest but Professor Longbottom tapped the parchment and handed Ted his new schedule, Ted's protests falling on deaf ears. The Professor pulled out another parchment, tapped it with his wand, and handed it to Ted.

"This is your list of school supplies. As I'm sure you know, you can purchase everything on the list from Diagon Alley." Then he pulled out a small pouch from his robes. "This is money from the Hogwarts funds, for students whose parents have lower incomes." Ted remembered that when Hogwarts invited Nathaniel they offered to share this fund with him. "It should be enough for you to purchase all of the supplies. Would you like me to escort you to Diagon Alley and assist you with your shopping?"

Right when the professor pulled out the pouch of money Liam dropped Caramel (whom he had been holding above his head and swinging around for fun) and rushed over to take the pouch. The cat gave a vicious hiss.

"That won't be necessary," said Liam grabbing the pouch and shaking the professor's hand. "Thank you so much for all of your help Professor Hugeass."

"Um, Professor Longbottom," the professor corrected. He turned to Ted and extended his hand again. Ted tried not to roll his eyes when he shook it. "I am thoroughly thrilled to welcome you to Hogwarts on behalf of the entire Hogwarts staff! See you on the first of September." With that, Professor Longbottom apparated out of Nathaniel Rowland's house.

"I thought he would never leave," said Liam as he sifted through the contents of the pouch of money. But within two minutes Professor Longbottom apparated back into the house. Liam spilled the contents of the pouch in surprise.

"Sorry, I forgot to give you your Hogwarts express ticket. Please arrive at the Kings Cross Train Station to Platform 9 and ¾ at 11 am on September 1st. To reach the platform you simply have to walk straight through the divider between Platforms 9 and 10." The professor handed Ted his ticket to the train. "I look forward to seeing you at Hogwarts Ted."

This time the professor apparated out of the house for good.

5