Hey guys, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Ben and Mal are about to learn a little bit more about each other; eeek! Much love RSD xoxoxoxoxoxoxo.
After enjoying a lovely meal together, me and Ben then walked around the castle gardens together. It hadn't changed much; and it made me think back to when I used to walk through the rose garden with Ben in the past. The red, white and yellow roses were always in full bloom; and I loved how the light from the moon reflected off the rose petals elegantly. The air was filled with the perfumed smell of roses; and when me and Ben were just enjoying each other's company and sitting in silence you couldn't hear a pin drop.
After our walk we then returned to Ben's TV room and we cuddled together; again this made me remember our dates in the past. And as we watched a film it didn't take very long for us to start kissing. However this was different to the other guys I had made out with in the past; by now they normally had made a move on me by now. I could tell that Ben was trying to be careful not to push me too far as he didn't want to disrespect me. But he didn't need to do this; whatever me and Ben got up to behind closed doors was always going to mean more. This made me love Ben even more; I knew that he wasn't just with me for my body and he appreciated me. So after a while I decided to give him a hint that it is ok to go further if he wanted to and I started to slide my hands from his chest and onto his stomach. However my face fell into confusion when he abruptly pulled away.
"Mal what are you doing?" he asked as he looked down at me.
"I thought-" I started, and I mentally started to kick myself. Ben wasn't like the other guys I had been with in the past; and I should have known not to try and urge things on without speaking to him about it.
"Thought?" he prompted.
"That this is what you wanted" I advised.
"Erm" he muttered, and I watched as he threw a nervous look at me.
"Sorry I guess I am just used to things going differently with guys" I admitted.
"Yeah" he agreed, and I watched as he nervously looked at the floor.
"Ben are you ok?" I asked as I started to sense that there was something else bothering him than me trying to make a move on him.
"Yes" he confirmed meekly as he looked back at me.
"You don't seem so sure" I noted.
"Have I just ruined things?" I asked in a panic.
"No, of course not" he urged as he tightened his arms around me.
"I said that I was going to do things differently" he reminded me with a warm smile.
"You did" I smiled back as a thought started to come to the fore front of my mind.
"Ben can I ask you a question?" I asked.
"Of course" he answered.
"Please don't get upset with this" I offered.
"Right?" he prompted.
"You have dated other girls-" I started.
"Yes" he confirmed.
"We have discussed what I have done; well should I say hinted" I continued.
"Yes" he repeated.
"You want to know about me don't you?" he questioned.
"If you don't mind" I replied.
"I know it isn't any of my business; you don't have to tell me" I offered.
"No" he said.
"You have been honest with me; it is only fair that I am. I don't mind telling you" he stated.
"Since we have been together I have kissed a couple of girls" he admitted.
"Ok" I noted. If I was being honest I didn't like the thought of Ben with any other girls; but I knew that I couldn't be mad at him as we weren't together.
"And?" I prompted.
"That's it" he advised nervously.
"Really?" I asked incredulously. Was Ben telling me that he was a virgin? This didn't matter if he was; it just meant that I had to make our first time together really special. Of course it would be because we have found each other again - and this time I wasn't willing to let him go.
"Yeah" he advised.
"I didn't want to do anything else" he stated.
"Ben are you telling me that you haven't-" I prompted. I had an inkling what he was trying to tell me; but part of me wanted him to confirm it before I got the wrong end of the stick.
"Yes Mal; I haven't slept with anyone" he confessed.
"Is that bad?" he questioned, and I felt his hands fidget on the bottom of my back.
"No" I smiled as I cupped his face in both of my hands.
"It's not something that you can just rush into" I advised as I stared into his eyes.
"Did you?" he muttered.
"Erm-" I started. I should have known that if I asked Ben about his history with other people then my history would start to become the topic of conversation.
"Well if I am being completely honest-" I started as I decided to come straight out with it.
"I lost my virginity on the Isle" I confessed.
"Before you came here?" he asked incredulously.
"Yes" I confirmed.
"I see" he noted.
"You never said" he urged.
"We never talked about things like that" I shrugged.
"I see" he repeated as he looked down. I could see why this would bother Ben because it would mean that I would always have more history than him. But it didn't matter to me; what mattered to me was being with Ben.
"Does that bother you?" I questioned.
"No" he advised not looking at me.
"I-" he started.
"You?" I prompted, and I lifted his face up slightly to make him look at me.
"I don't want to be rubbish" he muttered.
"You won't be" I dismissed.
"How can you know that?" he asked in a panic.
"Because you are the only man I have ever loved and cared about; everything we do will always mean more" I explained lovingly. I needed Ben to see this; everything that we had meant the world to me.
"What if I am bad?" he muttered.
"Ben don't worry about it" I stated.
"You won't be" I smiled.
"We will do it when we are both ready" I continued.
"If I am being completely honest I want to do this properly as well; I don't want to jump straight into bed" I advised.
"No me neither" he smiled.
"Come here you" he quickly added before he pulled me into a tight hug.
"I am so glad I bumped into you on that night out" he said happily as he snuggled into my hair.
"Me too" I agreed as I wrapped my arms around his waist.
"I wouldn't be here snuggled into you" I answered.
"Well I wouldn't want to be anywhere else" he said, and I looked up at him and smiled.
"Me neither Benny" I agreed before pressing my lips briefly against his.
"Hmm" he purred as I pulled away.
"I liked that" he flirted.
"Want more?" I teased.
"Please?" he answered smugly.
"Come and get me then" I teased, and I watched as a large smirk spread across his face before he pressed his lips against mine once more. As we started to fall into a long and loving make out session once more a thought went through my mind. Yes me and Ben had different histories when it came to our sex lives. But this didn't mean that it had to ruin what we had; if anything it showed us even more that we were meant to be together.