Stardate 2260.308
The last time Voris could recall having experienced so much agitation and anxiety, aside from perhaps the culmination of his pon farr symptoms precisely 254 days earlier, was the day of Vulcan's destruction. Today most of his emotions stemmed from Dagny, but a small fraction were his own.
Voris was sensing every emotion Dagny was, and her emotions were considerably heightened. With every contraction, she would grow anxious and distressed and Voris would also. Where a Vulcan mother in labor would try to control her emotions, it wasn't even occurring to Dagny to make an attempt, and while he did not fault her for this, he wished she would allow him to help her.
She had been very receptive to his assistance initially. Following the rupture of her amniotic membranes, he had performed an extensive examination, noting both the mother and child were healthy. The fetus was measuring somewhat small but still within normal range and the heartbeat was strong. Unfortunately, the fetus was in the occiput posterior position, which was not particularly ideal, as the back of the child's head would put increased pressure on Dagny's spine with each contraction. It would cause Dagny great discomfort, but it was not life-threatening.
He was most concerned about lung development, because lungs were among the last organ to fully mature in both human and Vulcan pregnancies, but based on an analysis of the overall anatomical mass of the organs, they appeared to be the proper size, at least relative to the heart. Once delivered, the child would need to be closely monitored and might need supplemental oxygen, but he was fully prepared for that possibility.
He had already set up one of the biobeds to receive a hybrid neonate and had checked the inventory several times for any supplies he anticipated needing. He had also set up the adjacent bed to receive a human female in the event something happened to Dagny. Now all he could do was tend to his regularly scheduled patients and wait.
She had begun early labor approximately eight hours ago, but how long it would be until she delivered would be impossible to predict. Much research had been done on the subject of mammalian pregnancy and childbirth, but precise calculations for the length of a pregnancy or the duration of labor continued to elude the medical establishment.
Citing this fact, Dagny had insisted he go downstairs and tend to patients while she labored on her own, promising that she would call for him if he were needed. But since that initial examination, she had not asked for him again.
Despite this, he had already checked on her twice. The first time he'd found her pacing circles around the kitchen table and the second time she'd been on the bed, rocking back and forth on her hands and knees to relieve the pressure on her spine. She had been in the midst of a contraction then and had yelled at him to go away and he had, even though he would have liked to stay and meld with her to relieve her anxiety for both of their sakes, and the sake of their child.
He had last checked in on her two hours ago and was preparing to go upstairs and look in on how her again when the clinic door slid open and Mrs. Niedermeyer toddled in. Her appointment had officially been scheduled for ten minutes ago, but punctuality was rare on Bergeron colony.
"Oh, hello, doctor," she said, looking around nervously. "No Dagny today?"
"No, I'm afraid she's indisposed."
"Everything alright with the baby, I hope?"
"Yes."
She shook her finger at him. "Don't tell me she's having it, is she?"
Voris would have preferred to avoid discussing Dagny's current state, but assuming everything progressed normally with her labor, Leslie Niedermeyer would soon be able to deduce the truth for herself in the very near future.
"Miss Skjeggestad went into labor early this morning."
Her mouth fell agape. "And you here and not with her?"
"At this stage, there is little I can do for her."
"You could be supporting her."
"There is very little I can currently do for her from a medical standpoint and were I to simply sit by her bedside, I would be required to cancel your appointment. Furthermore, she has requested to be alone and has agreed to call for me should she need anything."
"Isn't it just like Dagny to always be thinking of other people?" Suddenly, Mrs. Niedermeyer clapped her hands together and giggled. "Congratulations, anyhow. You must be so excited! You're going to be a daddy!"
"I have been approaching fatherhood for nearly nine months now," Voris replied. "That fact is no more remarkable today than it was yesterday."
"Oh, you Vulcans! I feel sorry for you, never being able to feel excited or joyful," Mrs. Niedermeyer scowled.
"Your pity is unnecessary," Voris responded. "Now, according to my schedule, you were due to meet with Miss Skjeggestad for your quarterly cortisone injection?"
"Yes," she sighed, flexing her hands. "The tendinitis is getting so bad I can barely bend my fingers."
"As I mentioned the first time you visited the clinic, there is a simple surgery that could correct your condition without the need for you to return every three months for injections. The cortisone is merely alleviating the symptoms—not treating the underlying problem."
"I don't want any surgery," she insisted. "These are my hands. I can't afford to lose my hands."
Rather than argue with her, Voris fetched his hypospray and delivered the injections to both her hands. So many people on Bergeron colony were mistrustful of doctors or any medical procedures that went beyond basic pain relief. Voris had ceased questioning it long ago, excepting the rare occasion when patients would initially refuse treatment for a life-threatening condition.
He administered the cortisone to Mrs. Niedermeyer and was escorting her to the door when it opened again and Aisla entered the clinic.
"Hey, Dr. Voris," she said brightly, swinging her medical kit playfully. "Maina thought she was in labor so I just went for a visit but it turns out, she's still a ways off. Anyway, I thought I'd just come by and restock my kit, just in case."
"Dagny's in labor," Mrs. Niedermeyer announced, pride sliding off her tongue as though she wanted credit for the event.
Aisla's face transformed into excitement and shock. "Where is she? Is she upstairs? Why aren't you with her?"
"She is upstairs and has requested to be left alone for the early stages of her labor."
"And you listened to her?"
"Why should I not?"
"You lot have fun," Mrs. Niedermeyer winked, excusing herself. "I'm on my way to fields."
"I'm going to go check in on Dagny," Aisla announced, heading toward the stairs.
Voris felt conflicted. He wanted to honor Dagny's request for privacy but believed she might be more receptive to Aisla's presence, so he watched the Orion midwife fly up the stairs without offering further comment. He walked a tight circle and briefly sat down at the computer desk before thinking he hadn't checked the supply of hyalazine, a common coagulant of cupric blood.
He was just opening the pharmacy cabinet when he was struck by another wave of anxiety. He suspected Dagny was having another contraction but very quickly, the anxiety began to pass. Voris smoothed out his shirt and for the fourth time that day, performed an inventory of relevant medications Dagny or the child could potentially need.
Dagny's eyes were closed but there was no point in having them open: there wasn't much to look at. She wiped away the beads of moisture forming at the outer corners of her eyes and took a deep breath.
She was mildly embarrassed her initial response to her water breaking had been sheer and utter terror. After everything she'd been through and lived through in her short twenty years, having a baby probably didn't even break the top ten for scariest life event. It was exciting, yes, but certainly nothing to be scared about. Women had babies every day and had been having babies ever since the dawn of time and in all fairness, she knew a lot more about pregnancy, labor, and delivery than the average person, so there was very little to be frightened about. Her labor was progressing, the baby seemed to be doing just fine, and things were just as they should be.
And yet, every time a contraction came, she would clench her jaw and think of Melana, or of Adelaide and all of her dead children, or of the fact that the baby inside of her was only half human and there was still so much that could go wrong. Making matters worse was the fact that the baby was sunny side up, meaning its face was facing her stomach rather than her spine, and so with every contraction, she was half-convinced that the baby was trying to be born by tunneling through her back.
There was a creaking sound at the door and without opening her eyes she muttered, "I'm fine, Voris. I promise. Please just let me be."
"It's not Voris, lovey, it's me."
Dagny sighed a huge breath of relief and opened her eyes to see Aisla approaching her bedside. She laughed. "Hi."
Aisla smiled back at her. "What's this, then? You go into labor and don't tell anyone?"
"I figured you would be busy, considering there are two other babies due to be born just about any minute and Voris is downstairs…"
She took several breaths and clenched her fists as another cramp wound its way through her belly. The pressure on her back was maddening and she uttered a long, low moan. Aisla rubbed her hands along Dagny's lower back and encouraged her to breathe, but the pain was all-consuming. The contraction itself was painful but still bearable, but the strain on her lower back was like nothing she could have prepared for.
When the pain finally subsided, Dagny leaned forward on her elbows and took several deep breaths.
"Are they really so painful already?" Aisla asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"The baby's facing forward," Dagny explained breathlessly. "I feel like my back is splitting in half."
"Well, I counted in my head and that one lasted almost forty seconds," Aisla replied. "How far apart are they?"
"Not far enough," Dagny laughed bitterly. "But I think about every fifteen minutes or so. What time is it?"
"A little after 1300 hours."
"Ugh," Dagny grunted, lying down on her left side. "I've been at this for eight hours."
"You know as well as I do that the first is the worst but it gets easier."
Dagny cracked her eyes open and cast a sidelong glance at Aisla. "Considering this first baby will probably be my last baby, I can't say I plan on ever really finding out."
"Would you let me take a quick look and see how well you're progressing?" Aisla asked gently.
Dagny balked. Aisla had attended a lot of births and so had Dagny, but their relationship had always been either friendly or professional, and never that of patient and midwife. Sensing the awkwardness, Aisla quickly added, "Or I could go get Voris, if you're more comfortable with him."
Truthfully, she wasn't comfortable with anyone poking their heads down there, but she knew she didn't really have much of a choice, given the current situation. What followed was a very short, very awkward internal exam that only resulted in Aisla confirming what she already suspected: Dagny was in labor, but she wouldn't be having a baby any time soon.
"Thanks for looking in on me," Dagny moaned, once again closing her eyes and trying to relax.
"I could stay, if you like. I find keeping expectant mothers company makes the time go by faster."
"I can't promise I'll be a whole lot of fun to be around."
"No one's expecting you to play hostess. You just do whatever makes you most comfortable and I'll be here to support you any way I can."
"A glass of water would be nice."
"Consider it done," Aisla said. Dagny didn't open her eyes but she sensed from the shift of the mattress Aisla had gotten up and gone over to the kitchen area. Twenty seconds later, she returned with a cool glass of ice water.
"Now then, sit up, take a few sips, and let's get ready for the next contraction, yes?"
They sat together like that for the next four hours, with Aisla telling Dagny stories about her childhood, Orion fairy tales, and every single bit of colony gossip she knew. Aisla got her to nibble on some crackers and fruit to keep her strength up and put on two pots of tea as the day wore on. Before Aisla had arrived, she'd been sure she would have preferred to be alone, but Aisla was right: idle chitchat was taking her mind off panicking in between contractions.
Around 1900 hours, just as she entered her fourteenth hour of labor, she experienced a contraction so powerful that she could no longer resist the urge to scream. So she screamed, allowed Aisla to hold her hand, and screamed some more.
"Your contractions are lasting almost a minute now and are coming every five minutes," Aisla said.
"Yeah, I noticed," Dagny spat, not bothering to temper her frustration.
"I think you're beginning-"
"Active labor, yeah, I know," Dagny interrupted.
"Well, I'd like to take another look and then I think maybe we should talk about where we go from here."
"What do you mean, where do we go from here?" Dagny sneered, fighting away tears of exhaustion and frustration. "I'm going to end up pushing a baby out of my body: that's where we're going from here."
"What I meant was, do you want me to stay with you until the end or do you want me to get Voris up here? Or we could both be with you."
"I don't want him to see me like this," Dagny choked. And that was true, she didn't want him to see her looking so bloated and sweaty and vulnerable. She was in a lot of pain and she knew she was probably going to say a lot of bitter and mean and hostile things, and he didn't deserve any of it. And yet, she wanted him with her because she was afraid and there had never been anyone that could make her feel as safe as he did when he melded with her. She started to cry.
"Lovey, he's a doctor," Aisla crooned. "He's seen people all sorts of ways. And he's also the father. I think he'll understand."
A soft knock on the door a minute later startled them both. "What is it?" Aisla called.
"I apologize for disturbing you," Voris called through the door. "But Maina has gone into labor and is requesting a midwife. I have closed the clinic for the night and am prepared to assist her, but she is specifically asking for you, Aisla."
Aisla grimaced. "Isn't that just the luck?"
"You should go," Dagny whimpered, anxiety building in her gut because she knew another contraction was eminent.
Voris continued to speak through the door, but it was barely audible so Dagny yelled, "Just come in, Voris!"
He appeared in the doorway but didn't fully enter the room. Aisla joined him at the doorway and they proceeded to have a hushed conversation that made Dagny feel irritated, like she was some kind of child that needed to be managed or handled. As her annoyance grew, so too did another painful cramp in her belly and seconds later she was once again doubled over in agony. She cried and screamed her way through it, ignoring all useless recommendations that she should focus on her breathing.
"I hate to see you this way, lovey," Aisla said, rubbing her upper back as the contraction started to fade away.
"Maina, she's the teenage Orion girl?" Dagny gasped, trying to sit up.
"Yes."
"You should go," Dagny responded, taking in a breath through her nostrils and wiping away the tears. "She'll want a familiar face."
"What about you?"
Dagny glanced at Voris. The last time she'd seen him stand so rigidly and awkwardly had been the day he'd come to meet her at Paul and Laura's house right after she'd found out she was pregnant. She was struck by a sensation of intense guilt and had difficulty teasing apart where it was coming from.
"I tell you what, I could just pop over the Maina's and see how she's coming along and come right back."
"I think I'll be ok," Dagny replied, looking at Voris a second time. He took a hopeful yet hesitant half step forward. "Besides, I've got Voris here. I think between the two of us, we'll manage."
Aisla gave her a warm smile and clasped the back of Dagny's hand. "Good luck to you, lovey. I cannot wait to meet your little one. Take care of yourself."
Dagny nodded and tried to force her lips into a smile. Aisla turned around and said to Voris, "And you take good care of her."
"I shall."
"And you know, I always did like the name Aisla, if it turns out to be a girl," Aisla called as she headed for the stairs.
"Go," Dagny said, unable to keep herself from laughing bitterly. "And thank you for staying with me."
"You're worth it, lovey. You and your whole odd, lovely little family."
The door shut behind her and Dagny suddenly felt very awkward, being left alone with Voris. He tucked his hands behind his back and took several more steps forward. "Aisla informs me that you've most likely entered active labor. Will you permit me to do an internal examination following your next contraction?"
Dagny closed her eyes and nodded. She slid toward the edge of the bed and tried to sit up and Voris took a seat next to her. "When was the last time you performed a check of fetal vital signs?"
"About thirty minutes ago," Dagny groaned. "Everything's right as rain."
They sat quietly together another minute or so, with Dagny trying to clear her mind and avoid thinking about either of their feelings and Voris watching her intently. When she was hit with another contraction, she cried out, but instead of being allowed to scream, Voris slid his hands over her cheeks and everything became slightly muted. The pain was still very agonizing and very present but all of her fear and anxiety had evaporated, which somehow made the agony more bearable.
When it was over, she coughed and looked up at Voris. "Thank you for being here."
"There is nowhere else I would rather be," he replied.
Her heart began to swell with gratitude and some weird emotion that might have been love, and then he added, "And besides, the clinic has closed for the evening and there was nowhere else for me to go."
She bit her lip and looked up at him. His face was so smooth and calm, and for reasons she would never be able to explain, she erupted into a fit of giggles that lasted until her next contraction.
Dagny was leaning forward against the back of one of the kitchen chairs and sobbing and not for the first time since he'd known her, Voris' nerves were beginning to fray. It was not her fault: she was in tremendous pain and lacked the mental discipline to cope with it. And so he did his best to comfort her, even if he could not fully understand her erratic emotions.
During the course of the past five hours, Dagny's emotions had ranged from intense affection and gratitude to profound hatred, the former often occurring immediately after a contraction and the latter immediately preceding it. Occasionally there were fleeting glimpses of sorrow or guilt, but he did not need to ask after the source of those feelings.
"How much longer?" Dagny whined, rubbing her lower back and rocking side to side.
"When last I examined you twenty minutes ago, your-"
"It's only been twenty minutes?" she shrieked.
Voris glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 0002 hours—officially the next day. "Yes, I'm afraid so."
"Ah!" she screamed, pounding her fists on the back of the chair before clutching her belly as another contraction set in.
Voris sprung to his feet to steady her in the event that she fell, and once he ensured he was adequately physically supporting her, he melded with her once again. Dagny's frustration over her labor had begun to outweigh her fears and he sensed she wanted the child freed from her body by any means necessary. He thought of offering her a spinal block once again to help ease the pain of the contractions, but he knew she would refuse. According to Dagny, her mother had never had one, so she didn't want one either.
He'd tried neuropressure on the back of her neck and upper part of her spine to alleviate some of the symptoms and it had initially provided mild relief, but its efficacy had significantly waned as her labor progressed.
As her contraction faded away, she leaned her head back against his chest and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I've been so awful to you," she cried. "I just want this to be over."
"Your misery is understandable."
"You have no idea how miserable this is."
"You are correct: I do not. I am however sorry that you are enduring it."
"I have no idea how my mom did this a dozen times," she said, her voice suddenly light and quiet. She bent her knees and moaned, "It's so hot in here."
"Would you like me to fetch you some ice?"
Dagny started to turn around and seemed ready to answer, but instead of speaking, vomited. She tried to slam her hand over her mouth at the last moment, but much of it still ended up on Voris' tunic.
"I'm so sorry," she gasped. "I'm sorry."
"There is nothing to apologize for," he replied, gently touching her shoulder and doing his best to avoid looking at the mess she'd made of his shirt. "Hot flashes and nausea are quite common as you approach the transition stage of labor, as I'm sure you know."
"I never wanted you to see me like this," she sniffed, waddling over to the sink to with her vomit-covered hands in front of her. "And it's only going to get worse."
"We have both seen each other far more exposed than you are now," he said quietly, following her. "There is no shame in this and there is no logic in embarrassment."
"When have you ever been vulnerable?"
"On the day we met," he replied, unbuttoning the tunic. "I was entering pon farr."
"Oh, I remember." She laughed bitterly. She allowed the water to run over her hands for a few seconds and then sucked in a long breath through her teeth.
Voris folded his soiled tunic in half and tossed it in the sink so he would be free to catch Dagny as she endured yet another contraction. He melded with her again and once the pain had passed, said, "I would advise lying down now. I would like to examine-"
"I have to push," she interjected, her face contorting into a shocked frown. "I feel like it's going to fall out."
He escorted her to the bed, where an hour ago he had laid down a rubber sheet in preparation for this eventuality, but rather than lie down, she placed her hands on the bed's edge and squatted. She uttered a low moan and he was about to insist she lie down in bed when her moan crescendoed into a yell.
There was no logic in arguing with her over birthing positions—if she was most comfortable like this, he would find a way to work around her. He situated himself behind her and also squatted, gently pulling up the hem of her skirt so he could feel for the position of the baby and was mildly surprised to find it had already passed below the ischial spines of her pelvis.
Dagny started to pant and stared straight ahead at the bed. "With your next contraction, I believe you know what to do," he said gently, keeping his hand in position to feel for the baby's progress.
It took twenty minutes of pushing and panting, but she was no longer screaming. She was sweating and exhausted, but Voris had never seen her so focused. When he informed her the head had been born, she started to laugh, but her mirth was quickly transformed into a guttural yell that steadily grew louder until the baby's shoulders popped free with another gush of liquid, sliding the tiny form of their child out of her body and into his hands.
Time stood still for Voris as he brought the baby out from between Dagny's legs to examine more closely. The child had grayish skin and wisps of wet, black hair streaking its scalp. His eyes surveyed the pair of tiny, pointed ears and miniature facial features. His heart was pounding and he realized he wasn't breathing, but neither was the baby in his hands.
Being mindful of the umbilical cord, he tilted the baby's head slightly downward and watched fluid run from the nose and then suddenly, there was a twitch, a brief period of sputtering and sneezing, then a loud cry pierced the tense silence of the room. The gray skin started to turn a vivid shade of green as the tissues became oxygenated. Voris swallowed hard and sat in awe of the little creature in his hands who could produce such a momentous and miraculous sound.
Dagny slumped forward against the bed, surprised that the pressure had disappeared so suddenly. It was almost disorienting, after pushing for so long for it to suddenly be over. She wanted to laugh and she also wanted to cry, but more than anything, she wanted her baby. Why wasn't it crying? Where was it?
She pushed off against the bed and tried to roll over to lean her back against it, and the instant she achieved this position, the shrill cry of an infant began to echo through her ears. It almost felt like an out-of-body event and she instinctively started to cry along. Voris was holding the baby, his face frozen in a look of confusion and fascination.
"What's wrong?" she croaked.
"Nothing," he said, tearing his eyes away from the baby in his hands to stare at her.
Then he did something she could have never anticipated. He actually smiled. Not a broad smile, but the corners of his lips definitely turned upward as he took several slow breaths. "We have a daughter."
"We do?" Dagny clapped a hand over her mouth and fought back a whirl of laughter and tears. "Can I hold her?"
"You are her mother," Voris replied, gently setting her on Dagny's chest and quickly covering her back with one of the fleece blankets he had left on the nightstand. "You need not ask."
Dagny didn't know where to look first but her eyes hungrily drank in all the wonderful sights of her daughter. She laughed and wiped the tears from the left side of her face on the sleeve of her dress. "I can't believe we made this whole new person. She's so perfect."
Voris leaned forward on his knees, probably to examine the baby, and Dagny couldn't explain what happened next, but her lips instinctively pressed against his as he drew nearer to her. He stiffened, but he didn't pull back. It took several seconds for her brain to process what she was doing but when she finally did, she was surprised she did not instantly jerk away.
They held the kiss for several more seconds before Voris gently pulled the lower half of his face back, leaving their foreheads pressed against each other. "I would like to sever the umbilical cord, perform a quick examination of her, and then prepare you for the next stage of labor."
Dagny slowly nodded. It was only now dawning on her that they had kissed and neither of them had been embarrassed or repulsed by it. But rather than allow herself to dwell on the insanity of having kissed Voris, she allowed him to pry the squalling baby off her chest.
The moment he took her away, she was filled with a powerful, almost maniacal urge to snatch her back. It was a completely irrational thing to say, but she whispered, "Please be careful with her. She's so little."
"Yes, she is," Voris admitted. "Perhaps we could get you into the bed and you could hold her while I perform several scans and a blood test?"
She tried to avoid looking at the disgusting mess she'd just made all over the floor as she allowed Voris to assist her in crawling into bed. Once there, he set the baby back in her arms. She quickly tried to wrap the fleece more tightly around her—newborn babies got chilled so easily—but the moment her hand touched the tiny hand sticking out from the blanket, Dagny started to cry.
"What is the matter?" Voris asked, sitting beside her on the edge of the bed.
She began to wail, which caused the baby to resume crying, which only made Dagny cry harder.
"Dagny, what is the matter?"
"I had no idea how much I needed her until just now," she sniffed. She leaned down to kiss her, leaving fat tears to drip down her little forehead. "Thank you so much. I love you. I love you both so much."
Voris headed back upstairs with the hypospray in his hands. The baby had been born approximately two hours ago, and the clinic would be reopening in four. The only urgent thing remaining for him to do was to administer the necessary vaccines recommended for human and Vulcan neonates.
He had performed every scan he could, had screened her blood and her genome twice, but she appeared healthy in every apparent way. At 3.15 kilograms and 44.5 centimeters long, she was small even by newborn human standards, but she seemed to be thriving. Just before going downstairs, Dagny had successfully gotten her to latch onto her breast and begin feeding on the antibody-rich colostrum. It would be several days until her milk came in and even then, the baby would need to be supplemented with replicated formula to provide her with the combination of fats and copper appropriate for a Vulcan diet, but he also knew the mere act of breastfeeding was important for forging a bond between mother and child.
When he reached the top of the stairs he found Dagny much as he had left her, cradling their daughter in her arms and staring at her with acute wonder. She was calmer now than she had been in months, even though immediately following the birth, she had been reduced to a chaotic storm of emotions. She had even kissed him, an action which continued to baffle him.
Yet he appreciated the phenomenon of erratic post-delivery emotions. Both human and Vulcan mothers experienced a massive release of certain hormones following birth to allow for the release of the placenta, the production of breastmilk, and the desire to bond with the child. Vulcan mothers carried an additional burden that Vulcan healers referred to as vo'ektilahr, or simply, the equilibrium. Due to the fact she had been carrying a half-Vulcan child, it was almost certain Dagny had experienced it also.
Vo'ektilahr was a term used to describe the overwhelming and even disorienting sensation immediately following birth of no longer being in constant telepathic contact with the child. Dagny had started to grow hysterical in the moments following the delivery, but she appeared quite calm now. Serene, even.
She noticed him standing in the doorway and smiled. When she looked away to cast an affectionate gaze over the baby in her arms, Voris believed she was more beautiful than she had ever been. "I think she's fallen asleep again," Dagny whispered.
"I regret to say that I am about to wake her," he replied, gesturing to the hypospray in his hand.
Dagny stroked the knuckle of her index finger along the baby's nose. "Can you wait for just a few minutes and see if she wakes up on her own? She deserves her sleep: she's been through an awful lot tonight."
"As have you."
Dagny grinned. "I don't know that I'm ever going to sleep again."
"You will," Voris insisted.
"I don't want to sleep because if I sleep, I'll have to stop looking at her. I never want to be away from her."
"You will have to resign yourself to the fact that the day will come in which you will not have a choice."
Dagny sighed. "I know, but for now, I just want to love her. I love her so much it almost hurts. Like, I'm holding her, yeah? But I feel like I actually miss her, even though she's right here. And what's weird is I don't even know her name."
"We have thirty days before we are required to submit a certificate of live birth to the Federation authorities."
"I know, but we can't keep calling her 'baby.' She needs a proper name. Over the past few months, every time I would start daydreaming about names, I would stop myself because I didn't want to get my hopes up but now here she is and I don't know what to call her. I thought I would know once I met her."
Dagny brushed her fingers along the edge of the baby's jaw, and her gray-blue eyes jerked open and she reflexively stretched out her hands and started to squirm in Dagny's arms. "I didn't mean to wake you, baby. I'm sorry."
Dagny stroked the edge of her jaw again, eliciting a similar response from their daughter. Dagny frowned and looked at Voris. "Why is she doing that?"
He cocked his head. "It is the telan reflex."
Dagny made a strange face. "I feel like I've heard that term before but I don't know what it is. Is it some kind of grasp reflex in Vulcan babies?"
"The telan reflex is a bonding reflex," he explained, gently taking a seat on the edge of the bed and looking over her shoulder at the infant in her arms. "All typical Vulcan newborns possess the instinct to form a telepathic bond with their parents. As you have said, it is no different than a human infant gripping an object placed in its palm."
He touched the tip of his finger in her tiny palm and watched the four fingers curl around it. Then he stroked her jawline and as she had done with Dagny, she stretched her arms outward to probe for a receptive face. She blinked several times and gazed up at her parents with blank, unfocused eyes.
"Is bonding with your child the same as melding?" Dagny asked.
"Parent-child bonds are formed through certain mind melding techniques, yes."
"And when will you start this process?" Dagny said, her brow furrowing.
"I am not certain that I should."
Dagny shot him a strange look. "But don't you need to? Isn't it needed for normal development?"
"Not all parents form bonds with their offspring," Voris explained. "Neither of my parents formed such a link with me."
"Yeah and look how great your relationship with your father is," she muttered darkly.
"Yes, but I was quite fond of my mother, and she never bonded with me either."
"Why not?"
"The concept of parents bonding with their children remains mildly controversial. It is thought parental bonding, particularly if it is done too soon, strips a child of autonomy. Many studies have produced conflicting results."
"I do want her to be her own person," Dagny said, giving him a mournful look. "But I don't want to keep anything from her that will help her know who she is either."
"You would not be able to bond with her," Voris argued. "I do not know that I want to share something with her that you cannot also share."
"Well, that's illogical," she retorted, rolling her eyes.
"Explain."
"I carried her inside me for almost nine months; you'll never get to share that with her."
"That is a consequence of biology, not a freely made choice."
Dagny laughed and the baby in her arms smacked her lips and wrinkled her nose. She traced the outline of her face and once again, stimulated the telan reflex.
"Look at her," Dagny said. "She's a clean slate, brand new and ready to learn and experience life. I just want to make sure she has all the things she needs." She started to sniffle but before she could start crying, Voris interrupted her.
"It seems to me there are many ways to raise her and provide her with everything she requires, and while a few of them are objectively wrong, I do not believe there is an objectively right way."
"I obviously don't know, but I feel like sharing a bond with your parents has to have some kind of social or emotional benefit."
"Do human parents not bond with their children?"
"You know what I mean. A Vulcan bond."
"I could bond with her now, but I would prefer to give her the opportunity to discover who she is without my interference. It is a thing that once done is not easily undone. Additionally, a Vulcan bond can be quite strong, but you should not underestimate the depth of human attachment."
Dagny sighed a gripped the baby's little fist before lightly stroking one of her pointed ears. "Then I guess we'll let her do her own thing for now, if you're sure it's what you want."
"It is."
"You know, I can't get over how much she looks like you. Almost an exact copy of you."
"She has inherited your eyes."
Dagny sniffed. "They're my father's eyes. At least she got those, but I don't see any of my mother in her at all."
"Then perhaps we might name her for your mother as a way of honoring her memory."
Dagny paused and studied the baby closely for almost a minute while a silent tear fell down her right cheek. "It's a really lovely thought, but she doesn't look like a Sofie. And besides, if we're talking about encouraging her to grow up and be her own person, she needs her own name."
"Then allow me to modify my proposal," he said. "There is a children's myth I was once quite fond of. I asked my mother to tell it to me often."
"A children's myth? Like a fairy tale?"
"There were no fairies," Voris replied, shaking his head. "But, this particular myth featured a heroine in the time before the Reformation who led a great army before abandoning warfare to strive for peace. There are few credible historical records from that time as most were destroyed in the wars, but many historians believe this woman may have existed, either as an individual or a collection of individuals who were eventually merged into a single myth."
"This has been a crazy day," Dagny laughed incredulously. "I had a baby and I'm getting treated to a Vulcan fairy tale."
"There were no fairies," Voris repeated.
"Yeah, you said that. So what happened?"
"She was hunted by her former second in command and sought refuge in caves in Vulcan's Forge. A raiding party found her and had her trapped in the caves, but there was a secret tunnel that would have allowed her to escape. However, there was an electrical storm on the surface and so rather than fight her former troops or allow them to commit further violence by killing her, she chose to escape into the storm."
He paused for several seconds, watching Dagny's eyes grow wide. "And? Then what?"
"She was lost and believed dead."
"That can't be how the story ends."
"Seven days later, the storm began to subside and she emerged from the desert, holding a newly born infant in her arms. Her army, believing she was either a ghost or a god, threw down their arms and refused to harm her. Her daughter eventually became the first in a line of queens who kept the peace for nearly a century."
"That's really nice. What was her name?"
"Safi. I would propose it not only because she was also born from a storm, but also because it is a name quite phonetically similar to your mother's."
A small smile began to grow on Dagny's lips as she studied the face of their daughter. "I think that's it. I think that's her."
"You are certain?"
"It's a Vulcan name, but in a way it also sounds human. It's lovely."
"Safi Skjeggestad," Voris said, testing the name on his tongue.
"What about your name?"
"S'chn T'Gai?"
"I don't think I'm ever going to be able to say it, but yes. She's your daughter too."
"It is the Vulcan custom, and I had thought was also often the human custom, for a child to accept the maternal family name when the parents are not bound by marriage."
Dagny's face fell but she gave a small bob of her head. "It's not always what humans do. Humans kind of do whatever suits them. Mother's name, father's name, both names..."
"You wish her to be Safi Skjeggestad S'chn T'Gai?"
"Wow, that's a mouthful," Dagny sighed, making a face. "I thought it was bad enough trying to tell people how to say Skjeggestad."
"What do you propose?"
"I don't know," Dagny said, her voice quavering. "I guess- I guess I just thought- I don't know what I thought. Maybe I thought because she's your daughter you would... you know..."
"You equate bestowing my family name upon her with my acceptance of her?"
"It's stupid, I know. You've already done so much for her. For both of us."
"If that is what you wish, we can give her my name," he replied. "I had only thought you would want to preserve your family name because you are the last."
Dagny's chin quivered and she looked away. Instinct made him want to reach for her face to bond with her but as she was no longer pregnant, he supposed it would be wrong to presume their former arrangement was still valid.
"We do not have to decide now," he reminded her.
"Yours or mine, I guess it doesn't really matter," she said, her voice cracking.
"It does matter, but for her, there is no yours or mine," he replied. "She is ours."
"Then let's use both of our names."
Voris nodded. "Then that is what we will do."
"You know that means she's going to spend the rest of her life trying to spell that for people."
"Then that is what she will do."
Dagny laughed, bumping her shoulder against Voris'. He was certain the contact had been intended as casual, but it had conveyed a strangely intimate idea. Dagny seemed to be growing self-conscious, so she shifted Safi into the corner of her other arm and sighed.
"You know, I never expected to be this happy, not after everything that's happened."
"Not every happiness is chosen."
"I think Khel said something like that to me once."
"It is the truth."
Dagny looked back at the baby in her arms and smiled. "I think you might be right."