Rangiku glared at her reflection in the mirror in the squad 10 women's locker room. Her shihakusho had never fit particularly well to begin with. Much as people assumed her appearance was a choice based on an 'if you've got it, flaunt it' attitude, the real reason she always showed so much cleavage was that the damned thing just didn't fit, and now it was worse. Not only were her boobs really about to fall out, but her obi was riding up over her growing belly.
Nearly five months, damn Gin and his stupid promises. It had been almost eight weeks since he'd promised her he'd take care of everything and what had he done? "Not a damn thing!" she declared aloud.
"Rangiku-chan? Are you alright?"
Rangiku closed her eyes for a second, drawing together the strength to face Miyako after this morning's humiliation. After everything her captain had said, right in the middle of the entire squad's training session, she didn't feel like she could face anyone, even her kind and far too understanding roommate.
"Captain Isshin is an idiot," Miyako said, supportively. "But he's also right. You can't keep pushing yourself physically. You have to think about-"
"About the baby?" Rangiku finished, turning to face her friend. "He might as well have just said it. There's no one who could have missed what he was talking about. Not that anyone was left who didn't know anyway. Everybody's been whispering about it nonstop for at least a month-which would be a lot less annoying if Gin didn't think it was so damn funny."
Miyako paled. She had never been able to hide the fact that she didn't really think much of her roommate's choice in men, but she had, so far, managed not to criticize Gin to Rangiku's face. "He thinks it's funny?" she said weakly.
"Of course he does," Rangiku said. "And it is, kind of. Everyone is so shocked, like they somehow imagine that, despite the fact that the Gotei is filled with young, attractive, single people with plenty of spare time on their hands, Gin and I are the only ones who've ever had sex-the horror! We have thirteen unmarried captains, and at least half of them are over five hundred years old; are we really all pretending that they're all virgins? Yes, I'm god-awful at kido and screwed up one of the easiest, but the outrage at the sight of an unmarried, pregnant woman is a bit ridiculous."
Miyako blinked at her. She hadn't really thought about it that way. It was a little bit silly how shocked everyone was, but at the same time she could tell that Rangiku didn't really think it was all funny. She was very clearly hurting. "Maybe it is," Miyako agreed softly.
That was when Rangiku started crying. "Damn it!" she swore, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I really don't care what everyone thinks. It's just these stupid hormones. I'm crying all the time; it's embarrassing."
Miyako threw her arms around her friend and held her tight. "It's going to be alright, Rangiku-chan. Gin loves you. You know he does. He's just being a bit stupid at the moment."
"Damned man," Rangiku mumbled into her friend's shoulder.
After a minute or two Rangiku pulled back, wiping the tears from her face once more, before forcing a smile. "Well, I guess I've got to follow the captain's orders and get over to division four, but if Unohana puts me on desk duty I'm going to resign."
"Don't say that," Miyako protested. "It'd only be temporary."
Rangiku rolled her eyes. "My career's over anyway. The captain's not going to put me on any more real missions. You know him, he'll be all about how he couldn't risk making my poor kid motherless, and none of the other fighting squads would take a mom, and I sure as hell don't want to go work in four or twelve."
Miyako frowned. Four and twelve were almost the only places one might find the rare shinigami who was also a mother. She'd met one or two others on support staff in other divisions, but Rangiku was right. Mothers weren't put in the path of danger. She'd always assumed that was because they wouldn't want to be, but Rangiku, she was a fighter, and she was a good one. She had an offensive shikai and handled her zanpakuto better than most officers in the squad. Everyone had been certain that she'd eventually make lieutenant, and she was one of only a few shinigami who had any hope of reaching captain level.
She had heard the rumors and jokes about Gin not wanting to be saddled with a kid. It was common knowledge he was already working on a bankai and people said he thought a family would slow him down. He was in too much of a hurry to rise through the ranks. He wasn't even thirty years out of the Academy, barely an adult in most eyes, and he already had his eyes on the empty Squad Three Captain's Seat. But maybe Gin wasn't the only reason neither had faced the reality that they would very soon be parents. If Rangiku felt she was going to lose everything she had been working so hard to achieve, it really was no wonder that their shared approach to the baby had been denial.
"Come on," Miyako said, as cheerfully as she could manage. "It's not going to be as bad as all that. Captain Unohana will probably still let you oversee exercises and practice kido. You just need to see her and get it over with. I'll come with you, alright?"
Rangiku nodded and followed her friend out of the division. She was quiet for a while, frowning as she thought something over. Miyako was starting to worry when Rangiku finally spoke. "You must think I'm awful, don't you? Sleeping with Gin, getting pregnant, being so stupid irresponsible when I don't even want to be a mom."
"I think you're a good person, and I think you're just worried right now," Miyako said.
"That's for sure," Rangiku agreed. She wrapped her arms around her belly. "You and Kaien, you're gonna be great parents. You're gonna be smart and take your time, wait a couple more decades to get married, and probably won't even have sex till then, and then wait another fifty years, make sure your careers are where they need to be and you have a home and time and money to raise a kid, and then when you have one, everything you do will be about that kid, and it'll always know it's loved, and my poor kid, nobody wants it. It isn't anything but a mistake."
Miyako stopped abruptly and turned to face her friend. "Rangiku, there is one thing I know, absolutely and without a doubt, you will love your baby."
Rangiku nodded. "I know, I just, right now I kind of, I hate it. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, should I? I really am awful."
"No, you're not. You're just having a rough time," Miyako said, putting an arm around Rangiku's shoulder. "Come on. I'm sure you'll feel better after talking to Unohana. You've just been building everything up into a disaster in your head. She'll show you it's really not going to be so bad."
Rangiku was sure everyone was staring at her when she and Miyako walked into Division Four. She had never been there before that she wasn't bleeding or visiting someone who had recently been bleeding and very likely near death. It wasn't a place you went if you didn't have to. The long wards and strange smells of the medical division too quickly became associated with pain and death, and most shinigami avoided the place like the plague.
She felt like they must know why she had come, and just like everyone else, were speculating as to if and when Gin might actually decide to marry her. Rather than going to the unit where the minor illnesses and injuries of Seireitei were treated, she headed directly to the captain's office. If someone was going to try to shame her it was at least going to be the captain; anyone else and she might smack them.
Miyako didn't protest. She waved at a friend or two and was otherwise completely silent as she followed Rangiku's determined path through the division.
Rangiku knocked once on the captain's office door and barely waited for Unohana's permission before entering.
The Fourth Division Captain raised her head and smiled gently at the two girls. "Matsumoto-san, Seya-san, how can I help you?" she asked politely. "Does the Tenth Division have some business with me?"
"My captain's kicked me out of everything until I get a letter from you telling him what I'm allowed to do, so do you have a list or something? Safe activities for pregnant shinigami or something?" Rangiku said, lightly, dropping carelessly onto the office couch.
Miyako blinked in surprise, and wondered if her friend had been training with Gin in how to hide everything she felt.
Captain Unohana frowned slightly. "I was not aware you were pregnant, Matsumoto-san," she said in that too calm tone of hers that warned of danger. "I do hope you have not been putting off visiting me. There are many steps that must be taken to ensure a healthy birth, and the sooner we get started the better our chances are for positive results for both mother and child."
Rangiku flinched at that. "I've been eating healthy, mostly, and Gin insisted I stop drinking, so that should be fine, right? I even stopped sparring last month after someone nearly hit me in the face with a kido blast. Haineko absorbed it, thankfully. It was just some stupid trainee who didn't know what they were do-"
"Matsumoto-san," Unohana interrupted, her voice now almost icy. "How long have you known you were pregnant?"
"Two-three months for sure, and maybe another month before that," Rangiku answered, avoiding the captain's eyes.
"Four-" Unohana stood abruptly. "We must do a full examination immediately. We can only hope that constant exposure to intense and chaotic blasts of reiatsu has not done any permanent damage to your poor unborn child. Please tell me that at least your room has been properly shielded so it is protected while you sleep."
"Nobody told me anything about shielding my room!" Rangiku protested. "Why didn't anybody tell me? I've never heard reiatsu is bad for babies. Shouldn't people know something like that?"
"Barely ten percent of shinigami ever have children," Unohana said. "It is not a topic that receives much attention. I do my best to inform married couples of the risks and have made a brochure for the Women's Shinigami Association, but I don't suppose someone as young as you would have much interest in women's club activities."
Rangiku would have liked to argue with that, but the honest truth was that if she did happen to have some free time she had no particular interest in hanging out with a bunch of old, uptight, old women, which is what she imagined the association to consist of. "Still, it's something people should know," she said softly.
"I agree," Unohana said, pulling open her office door. "Now if you would come with me to an examination room we will take a look and see how things are progressing."