Rangiku sat uncomfortably beside the futon where Hisana lay. The poor thing was watching Shiro-chan playing Go with Captain Kuchiki on the far side of the room. From what Rangiku understood, the captain had not left his wife's side once in the last week. He was so worried about her he had even offered to entertain Toshiro while Rangiku visited.

Hisana had lost her baby. She'd made it six months before everything had gone wrong. Losing the baby had been a tragedy, but they'd very nearly lost Hisana too. Now she had been confined to bed to prevent further bleeding, and she looked weak and sad, and Rangiku felt absolutely helpless to do anything at all.

She hadn't even dared to come until she was invited. Rangiku hadn't been sure Hisana would want to see her or Shiro-chan; they might just remind her of her loss.

"He's so perfect, isn't he?" Hisana said after a long time watching the boy play.

Kuchiki's eyes darted to his wife's face for an instant before returning to the game.

Rangiku sighed. She'd never thought she'd feel sorry for Kuchiki Byakuya, but at this moment he must be feeling a thousand times more helpless than she did. Over the past week she'd told herself it was probably good for him, finding out he wasn't all powerful and things didn't have to go his way just because, and maybe he could experience just a little of the pain and loss that everyone else faced all the time, but right now, looking at him still holding onto that facade of calm like a shield, she felt nothing but pity for him.

Her eyes went to the boy who was Hisana's focus. Toshiro looked so serious, focused on the game board. He was a funny child. He never seemed to just relax and have fun. Everything was always so serious with him. He certainly hadn't inherited that from her, but, despite his near constant smile, she had a feeling Toshiro had inherited that particular trait from Gin.

"He's not bad," Rangiku said softly.

"Was it easy for you, getting pregnant?" Hisana asked.

Kuchiki spoke up abruptly. "Have you seen the new koi pond, Toshiro-kun?" he asked.

Toshiro looked up. "There's a new one?"

Kuchiki nodded. "With new fish. I'm told several of them are very rare, including a very large green one."

"A green koi?" Toshiro looked skeptical.

"Come with me," Kuchiki directed. "I will show it to you."

Rangiku watched them leave in surprise. In all the previous times they had visited, Kuchiki had barely said more than three words to her son. He was clearly just getting the boy out of the way so they could speak freely, but she had to appreciate that he hadn't just had some servant take Toshiro away.

"He's trying," Hisana said softly. "For me. The doctors are concerned I might not be strong enough to ever have a baby, so Byakuya is trying to convince me we should adopt a child-there's probably a child in one of the branch families that we could take in-but he really doesn't like children very much. I think he'd love ours, because they were a part of us, but someone else's, I don't know if he'd ever love it, not even after years and years."

"Sometime men can surprise you," Rangiku offered, although she personally thought Hisana was probably right. Kuchiki was the sort of man to take pride in his children because they were his flesh and blood. An adopted child would always be someone else's in his mind.

"I suppose it was all very easy for you," Hisana said. "You're always so strong and healthy. You probably got pregnant just as soon as you wanted to and had no trouble at all making it all nine months. I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I see Shiro-chan and I think how easy it must have been and-"

Rangiku interrupted her with a laugh. "Easy is not what I would have called it. Disastrous is more like it. It's a wonder Shiro-chan's as healthy as he is. I did absolutely everything wrong, including not going to a doctor for five months."

Hisana was staring at her in complete confusion.

"Really?" Rangiku said in surprise. "Nobody told you? I would have thought it would still be a favorite topic of gossip. They all talked enough at the time. I guess getting married really did fix it. Aren't people funny? One moment I was a whore and a disgrace to the Gotei, and the next I'm just another respectable young mother. I hope they realize I haven't really changed at all."

"Shiro-chan was a mistake?" Hisana said slowly.

"I would have thought it was obvious," Rangiku said. "How many people our age have children at all, much less one as old as Shiro-chan?"

"In Rukongai-" Hisana began.

"Yeah, but here?" Rangiku said.

Hisana smiled. "So you didn't want one, but you had one, and I want one but can't-life is funny, isn't it?"

"I think we just have to make the best of whatever we get," Rangiku said with an answering smile.

"I hope I can do half as well as you have," Hisana answered. "I do have so much. I will try to remember to be grateful for it."