Thanks to . #cutid1 for the transcript of the episode!
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Jim remembers his instructions as he pulls up his phone in front of the jewels. Convincing Moriarty to get caught in a way that didn't involve killing people required his complete cooperation. Now that he thinks about it, Moriarty was surprisingly receptive to this, maybe he played him. It wouldn't be the first time.
First things first, get everyone out of here and start sending a message. Jim continues to chew his gum as everyone evacuates, and oops! He sprays the guard without hesitation before dropping the spray.
Cap off, fix the hair, John will definitely see this.
Next, the bank. He presses the button before taking out his marker.
GET SHERLOCK
He adds a smiley face to the O and next is dear old jail. He'll be there shortly, so let's clear out all the baddies.
He can only imagine the chaos he's causing. Still, it's pretty fun.
Gum on the glass, diamond in the center, do a little dance and viola! He grins at the crown before placing it on his own head. Perfect. Now the rest.
He hears the metal detector go off and smiles, he's harmless. There's not much harm he can do with this sector and obviously wants to be caught, otherwise why be so obvious? The sirens are disturbing his music, which he does his best to enjoy until he can feel the hot stares of the police as they trained their weapons on him.
"No rush."
…
"Odd that he's calling me and not you." Sherlock leans back in his chair as Lestrade watches the screen.
"He's still a criminal mastermind, and that's your area!" John exclaims but Sherlock notices the faint blush of his cheeks. Lestrade narrows his eyes as he glances between them.
"I am certain he means the both of us."
John's not sure. Moriarty left two messages for Sherlock, he usually just takes John.
It is weird to finally see Moriarty arrested. John had always wanted it, but now that Moriarty's in court he's unsure of what he wants the outcome to be. When Jim Moriarty turn around and winks at him John decides that he wants him arrested.
Of course Sherlock gets arrested instead.
"Left the little pet off of his leash?"
"John hardly needs a leash."
"But I think he'd like one, no?"
…
"Not guilty." John's mouth drops as Moriarty turns to him and winks. John's mouth snaps shut and Moriarty turns back around before the man beside him puts a hand on his back to push him forward. John believes Jim about both of them being separate, so it's time for him to get to know Johnny boy a bit better. Jim doesn't like that idea, but Jim doesn't like a lot of things Moriarty does.
Moriarty looks at the caller ID and lets a smile grace his face as he answers his phone.
"Excellent." He responds to the man's opening statement. "I knew you'd see it my way." Moriarty ducks into the backseat of his car and it drives off making its way to Baker Street. "No, I'll contact you." The other doesn't take too well to the power transfer but Moriarty's not giving him a choice. "Become available." He instructs before closing the phone.
He leans back and closes his eyes as he listens to Jim demand the man stop his drug ring by the school before Moriarty could get involved, an extra reward for a job well done.
…
John hangs up the phone after talking to Sherlock to see a black car parked on the curb. He watches it for a few seconds and when the driver steps out John can do nothing but sigh. It's Mariano and therefore, Moriarty.
"I've been told to inform you that no harm is going to come to Sherlock Holmes today." He says with a smile as he opens the back door. It shouldn't fill him with relief, it's an empty promise, but it does. "I am also to take you to Baker Street." John steps forward, nodding absentmindedly, oddly enough, he didn't think to ask if any harm was going to come to him, but the doors are closed and they are already moving. John clenches his hand and forces a smile.
"Oh good, I've got some shopping to do first." Mariano nods, he had been told about the odd understanding.
…
Moriarty twists the teacup as Sherlock sits and waits for Sherlock to drink the tea before he does.
"Most people knock, but then you're not most people, I suppose." Sherlock's playing; Moriarty insults him before sitting down for tea. How domestic.
"Be honest, you're just a tiny bit pleased, with me back on the streets. After all, every fairytales need a good old-fashioned villain." They could talk about how that happened, but Sherlock already knows, and Moriarty knows that, so there's no point to it. After getting into the Tower of London, hotel rooms are easy.
"With you, back. Which one are you?" Sherlock lowers his cup and Moriarty doesn't answer. Sherlock should be able to figure it out, even boring old Johnny boy can tell who's who. "I must admit, I did not expect a split personality." Jim smiles
"I know, Mr. High functioning sociopath," it's said mockingly, "doesn't consider other circumstances?" Sherlock sits up.
"I am a highly functioning sociopath." Sherlock insists as Moriarty shifts a bit on the couch to lean forward.
"Do my research?" Moriarty grins. "I have." Sherlock lowers his teacup as Moriarty nods. "I always do." He tilts his head from one side to the other without taking his eyes of Sherlock's. "So tell me, are you?" Sherlock opens his mouth to reply but Moriarty interrupts him. "Are you really?" Sherlock stiffens slightly.
"Obvious. Isn't it?" Sherlock says at last. Moriarty leans back in his chair. John was supposed to be here by now. Jim wonders where he is and Moriarty finds himself distracted. He closes his eyes, the ones that drifted to the door. When he opens them he flashes Sherlock one of Jim's smiles and Sherlock leans forward. Moriarty's given him a puzzle and he's trying to solve it.
"Well?" Moriarty doesn't answer because Jim is cheering in his head. John is here! John is here!
He tells himself to shut up, he screams it and when Jim silences he leaves a buzzing in the back of Moriarty's mind and the feeling of an impending migraine. John comes up the stairs with a bunch of bags in each hand and Mariano follows him with one bag in each. John takes one look at the pair of them and turns away.
"Moriarty." He greets before continuing to the kitchen. No one said no harm was going to come to him today.
"Johnny boy," Moriarty acknowledges back and it is in a pleasant enough tone that John can relax.
"Tell Jim I said hi." There, now Moriarty is annoyed. Moriarty rolls his eyes before turning back to Sherlock. Jim says hi back, but Moriarty is not a messenger.
"Hello, John." Sherlock glances over his shoulder and John snorts. Sherlock would only have manners with a consulting criminal as a guest.
"Anything in there that would make me mad?"
"I have no idea what you are talking about." Sherlock replies. John's groan of 'toes with my butter' and Mariano's terrified face bring a smile to Moriarty's. He's not here for the soldier. Yes we are! Jim sings out. He is here for the detective.
Sherlock? Sherlock's boring!
"Have you figured out what today was about yet?" John starts to put the groceries away as if this were a normal occurrence.
"Of course."
"Have you told John yet?"
"No."
"Why I broke into all those places and never took anything. You understand, don't you?"
"Obvious."
"Off you go then, John's listening." John looks to the other two.
"You want me to tell you what you already know?"
"No; I want you to prove that you know it. John doesn't know, no need to be rude."
"You didn't take anything because you don't need to. You'll never need to take anything ever again."
"Very good. Because ...?" John furrows his brow and Sherlock glances towards him Sherlock hates explaining.
"Because nothing ... nothing in the Bank of England, the Tower of London or Pentonville Prison could possibly match the value of the key that could get you into all three."
"You hear that, Johnny boy? I can open any door anywhere with a few tiny lines of computer code. No such thing as a private bank account now – they're all mine. No such thing as secrecy – I own secrecy." John swallows. I own you remained unsaid but John knows. Moriarty smirks as he sees the recognition in John's face. "In a world with locked rooms, the man with the key is king; and honey, you should see me in a crown."
"I did." John interrupts without realizing and Sherlock frowns.
"You were advertising all the way through the trial. You were showing the world what you can do".
"You were helping. Big client list: rogue governments, intelligence communities ... terrorist cells. They all want me. Suddenly, I'm Mr Sex.
"If you could break any bank, what do you care about the highest bidder?"
"I don't. I just like to watch them all competing. 'Daddy loves me the best!' Aren't ordinary people adorable? Well, you know." Moriarty stops his sentence with a sip of tea and John's mouth opens in surprise.
"He never makes me any tea." John mumbles as he waves to Mariano and refills the kettle. "Care for a cuppa?" Mariano nods with a small 'sure'. It's not like this could get any weirder.
"Are you done with John?" Sherlock's voice breaks through John's thoughts. Sherlock sounds angry and annoyed. John's touched.
"No." Moriarty looks over to John. He's not sure if he is going to destroy him or send him away, but he's not done yet. Then there is the other option that has been growing in the corner of his mind, one that imagines stealing John from Sherlock, having the army doctor admire him that way; want him in every way. He's letting Jim's thoughts mix with his again and it's dangerous. No. Not done, not even close.
"I can assure you there are better ways to rile me." Sherlock could think of two that could maybe tie with John.
"No, there isn't." Moriarty's eyes follow John as he grabs the milk, "but my relationship with Johnny boy has nothing to do with you." Sherlock doesn't stir at the bait.
"Interesting choice of words." Sherlock leans forward. John's back has stiffened and Mariano's eyes are wide. Jim is pressing against Moriarty.
"Interesting person." Moriarty cedes to Jim as he stands. "Good day." He tilts his head and Sherlock stands.
"Why are you here? You wouldn't check in on your enemies after a day like today."
"John's not an enemy." Jim's teasing voice bubbles to the surface and everyone looks towards John who downs his tea in one hot scorching gulp. Moriarty has been here too long. Jim always gets stronger around John and now is proving to be one of those times. He needs John alone, he needs to scare him.
"I'll be seeing you Dr. Watson." Jim bids farewell and Mariano puts down his cup. John shakes his head.
"Now, hold on, I'm not privy to anymore kidnappings," Jim opens his mouth but John shakes his head and Jim closes it. "It's unnecessary, not clever." Moriarty feels Jim retreating under John's disapproval. "You could always phone me, on my phone, without using drugs."
I'm going to start to look like an addict, John thinks, any more hits to the head and he'll have brain damage. Jim flinches back and Sherlock narrows his eyes.
"Sounds like a date." Moriarty moves his head and Mariano heads down to the car. The switching is causing Moriarty to ache. The pain is sharp and throbbing and he can't take too much more of it. Jim's not supposed to fight for his head back. "I'll ring you next time, Johnny boy."
"I'm serious." Jim watches the way John licks his lips as Moriarty smirks.
"So am I." The smirk falls off his face as soon as John is behind him and he is fuming as he walks out the door. He heard Jim's tenderness coming out of his mouth, in front of Sherlock no less! He lets the door close behind him and steps into the car. Jim is thinking and fighting and this is all wrong. Plus his head is in so much pain that he can't think! Jim doesn't want Moriarty to take John apart. Jim wants Moriarty to stop thinking of John's insides on the floor. Moriarty grabs his head as he curls forward, the pain making anything else impossible at the moment.