***for those who are reading as I post: I accidentally skipped a chapter yesterday and posted today's as yesterday's so now I've replaced it with the right chapter and posted this one again today-so basically your new one for today is the previous chapter-so sorry***
"Why?"
Gin stopped abruptly. He had foolishly thought he'd escaped. He'd rushed out of the house with Toshiro while Rangiku was still getting Kinta dressed, declaring they were late for breakfast, and he had something he wanted to show Toshiro before morning exercises.
They'd made it nearly to the mess hall. They could already see members of the division hurrying to get breakfast before the hall closed. But she'd come after him.
"Go get breakfast, Shiro," Gin said before he turned around.
"Here," Rangiku said, pushing the baby into Toshiro's arms. "Get your brother some rice pudding."
Toshiro frowned but didn't argue. He'd known the baby would mean more work for him. It was inevitable knowing his parents. He just rolled his eyes and carried Kinta with him, leaving them to whatever stupid talk they wanted to have on their own.
He wished his mom was angry enough to really tell his dad off, but that was wishful thinking. Most likely she'd reappear in an hour or two, all smiles, having totally forgotten she was mad in the first place. His dad could get away with anything. She probably couldn't even stay mad at him if he murdered someone.
Rangiku watched Toshiro walk away before she repeated her question. "Why?"
"You know the reason for the order, Ran," Gin said, not meeting her eyes. "I really do have work to do this morning. Do you think we could do this later?"
"You humiliated me in public! Everyone in Seireitei knows my husband told me I'm not allowed to go to the World of the Living! How am I supposed to lead my division when my men all think I'm some poor little wife who takes orders from her husband-who's also the captain of another division!"
"I'm working on getting you a new captain," Gin answered. "I think Shiba will give in eventually. I just need to keep pointing out his duty to the Gotei. It's nice to know there are some people who really are as noble as we all pretend to be."
"I don't need a new captain! I need my husband to mind his own business, and more than that, I need him to respect me as a fellow shinigami. I am the equal of any other lieutenant in the Gotei. I-"
"Don't be so modest, Ran. You're better than most," Gin said, cutting short her speech.
Rangiku stared at him in shock. "What?" she said slowly.
"You handle your zanpakuto well. You've brought Haineko closer to Senbonzakura than I ever expected. You've integrated shunpo into your fighting style, which is rare, even among lieutenants, and makes your moves much more difficult to predict; you've even mastered kido, which I never expected. I didn't think you'd have the patience, but being able to hit someone in the face with a Hado in the middle of a fight is very effective. You're very good, Ran," he went through each point seriously, managing to shock Rangiku further with every word he said. "I'm sure no one in your division takes you lightly even if you do listen to your husband on occasion."
"If you actually think that then why the hell do you keep trying to protect me?" she demanded, feeling like she might have to smack him if he didn't start making sense soon.
"Isn't it obvious?" Gin said, looking puzzled by her question.
"If you know I'm strong enough-"
"There's no such thing as strong enough," he interrupted. "Isshin and Suzuki both found that out."
Rangiku took a deep breath. Yes, Isshin and Suzuki had run into things they couldn't handle. Yes, there were terrible, powerful beings out there that could make complete mincemeat of her if she didn't run fast enough, but things like that were rare, and she couldn't live in fear. "The chances of me running into something like they did on a routine check of the World of the Living-"
"I can't risk it."
"You can't risk it?" Rangiku demanded, her anger returning. "Why can't you get it through your head? It's not your call. It doesn't matter what you want to risk. This is about me and the fact that I have a job to do, and if there is a risk I have a responsibility to face it, like every other member of my division. You are getting in the way of me doing my job, and if you don't stop I am going to file an official complaint."
"Don't be silly, Ran-"
"Don't tell me what to do! You know you have no business telling me what to do. You know-"
"I know that I would break every rule and defy every command to keep you safe. File a complaint if you want, but I'm never going to allow you to put yourself in danger. You're not going to the World of the Living, and you're not leading any missions to hunt hallows. You're going to stay in Seireitei where I can at least keep an eye on you."
"What do you mean 'keep an eye on me'?" Rangiku demanded. "What are you, a stalker?"
He tilted his head to one side, thinking for a moment, before asking, "What would you consider stalking?"
She stared at him for a moment, before finally shaking her head and turning away. "I think I need to sit down," she said, starting slowly back in the direction of their home.
"Ran-"
"Let me think a minute," she said, rubbing her head as she continued to walk home. She had always assumed the reason Gin had been against her going on missions was because he thought she was weak. He'd always claimed she was. Every time they sparred he always went on about everything she did wrong, about how weak her attacks were, how she lacked force and speed and follow through. Really, she thought he considered her an extremely weak fighter, and that was why he didn't want her fighting. But if he believed she was strong and still was this obsessed with keeping her safe, what exactly did that mean? It certainly wasn't rational. Of course, neither was stalking her-the question had been a joke. She knew he kept an eye on everyone, and she was a part of everyone, so of course he kept an eye on her too. He liked to know what was going on. That was reasonable-ish-for a captain. They were all crazy.
But stalking her? What the hell? Was he watching her more than he did everyone else? What sort of sense did that make? She never did anything. Why would he waste time and energy on her?
She sat down on the front step when she reached the house. Gin sat down beside her and watched her with that faux innocent expression of his. His expressions never gave anything away-except that when he used one she knew there was something else he was feeling that he wanted to hide.
Always hiding everything he felt for as long as she'd known him, Gin was a very obvious sort of crazy. You had to carefully read his actions to figure out what he really felt about anything. She did her best, but right now she was feeling like she had missed something obvious. He seemed to be a lot more focused on her than she'd previously realized.
There was a certain amount of being concerned about the health and safety of your spouse that was perfectly reasonable, but stalking her, trying to control where she went and what she did, that wasn't even a little bit okay. Had he always been like this? Was it possible she just hadn't noticed?
She turned to meet his oh-so-innocent gaze and wondered, as she often did, what was going on behind that mask. What drove him to watch her and try to control her? Was it fear or just some sort of obsessive need for power? She couldn't tell. Usually she could sort of read behind the mask, but this time she had no clue.
"You do know you're crazy, don't you?" she asked him finally.
He smiled hugely, an enormous Cheshire Cat grin. "We're all mad here," he quoted.
There it was, that careless acknowledgement of reality. That was how he always did admit things, as a joke. He knew he'd gone too far and was acting more than a little crazy. Maybe if she joked with him, he'd let her know just a little bit more. "You're extra-crazy," she teased. "Extra-extra-crazy."
"We have a science division run by a lunatic wearing clown paint, a captain who never takes off his helmet, another whose one and only joy in life is fighting, and yet another who's still pining away over the captain who abandoned her more than half a century ago; I'm only obsessed with my wife. I would think I'm about average."
Obsessed? Really? He couldn't even be bothered to come home half the time; how was that obsessed? But, apparently, even when he wasn't home, he was still somehow 'keeping an eye on her.' He was obsessed with knowing where she was, with keeping her safe. She had never doubted he loved her, but she'd always sort of assumed she was more of a fixture than a passion in his life. She thought he needed her around in the same sort of way one might need say a hand-it's important and useful and you really couldn't imagine living without it, but you didn't worry or even think too deeply about it. It was a part of you that you just always figured would be there-clearly she'd been wrong. He did think about her; he worried enough about her that he had made plans to protect her just in case she did something he considered risky. He really was obsessed with her.
"You're really afraid something's going to happen to me if I go somewhere you can't protect me, aren't you?" she asked. It was strange to realize he felt such fear for her, that he knew it wasn't rational and he was still driven to protect her.
Gin shrugged. He wouldn't say it. It drove her out of her mind sometimes. Why couldn't he just say what he felt? If he was afraid of her being hurt, if he needed to protect her, he needed to tell her so. He needed to tell her what he was afraid of and why he was so worried. They might be able to work these things out if there was any communication, but there wasn't, never. All she could ever do guess what was wrong and try to address it. She couldn't even know if she was trying to fix the right problem.
Rangiku shook her head. "You know your fears are irrational, don't you? I'm not a child, and I'm not weak. There's no reason to think that anything's going to happen to me. You have to let me protect myself."
He looked away. His expression was as inscrutable as always. "How about we make a deal?" He said finally. "If you can beat me, using your shikai and kido and anything else you can think of, while I don't use anything-I'll even use a practice sword instead of Shinso, if you can beat me, I'll admit my concerns are foolish and stop interfering."
Rangiku frowned. How did he manage to sound like he was being perfectly reasonable when he knew he'd offered her an impossible challenge? "You're a captain," she said, finally. "That's not fair."
"Isshin was beaten. Whatever defeated him must have been at least as strong as me without Shinso," he answered.
She frowned. It really wasn't fair. She knew she couldn't beat him. She'd tried a thousand times, but if he was basically unarmed-maybe-surely, with a little practice, at least, she should have a chance, and if she won, he really, really, couldn't worry anymore. It was worth trying. Insane fear or no, it would be better if she could get him over it than just ignoring it. "Fine," she said finally. "But if I can't beat you the first time you have to let me try again."
"As many times as you'd like," he said with a smile.
Toshiro was very surprised when his mother finally appeared an hour later, dripping with sweat and not at all happy, with his father following after her, grinning.
Rangiku's eyes went from Toshiro to the baby and back. They were both decorated liberally with rice pudding. "You know what?" she said. "Your daddy's watching both of you today. Have fun."
And with that she turned and left.
Gin couldn't resist calling after her. "Rematch this evening?"
"Smile while you can, Fox-boy," she answered as she walked out the door.