"I'd like to welcome Hinamori Momo, the newest lieutenant in the Gotei 13," Yachiru announced loudly as she lead said lieutenant to the gathering of lieutenants. They had rented a room at a nicer restaurant than most of them could ever have afforded to visit otherwise and were charging both dinner and drinks to the Gotei.
It had taken a great deal of effort on the part of multiple members, mostly begging and pleading from Rangiku and Yachiru, some interesting accounting from Nanao, and negotiating with said restaurant owner by Kaien, who may have used his position as head of the Shiba family to get them into such a high-class venue, to bring about the first celebration of the lieutenants of the Gotei in more than a century.
Rumors were the last time the Gotei's lieutenants had put on a work party a restaurant had burned to the ground, a couple lieutenants had ended up in Division Four, and someone had died. Everyone was pretty sure it wasn't true, but it had taken a lot of begging to get permission for the party.
Rangiku was probably the happiest person there. She had managed to escape her entire family for once and was very much enjoying making jokes she would never have spoken in Toshiro's presence and watching the way both Nanao and Hisagi kept turning a brighter shade of scarlet. She didn't even feel slightly sorry for them as they had somehow managed to deceive most of the Gotei into thinking that their relationship was of the most honorable and appropriate variety-which wasn't at all fair because back before she'd been with Gin all she had to do was let a man buy her a drink and everyone in the Gotei thought she was sleeping with him.
It didn't take long for Nemu to outdo Rangiku, however, and without even trying. She was honestly only attempting to join the conversation as she understood it, when she looked across the table to Nanao and asked, "Lieutenant Ise, are you using kido to prevent conception? I know you have long desired a child of your own, and I wondered if you had fixed on Lieutenant Hisagi as an acceptable father. I looked up his medical records in case you were considering him and wanted to assure you that he has no issues of concern and his genetic profile would be complementary to your own."
Hisagi, with his usual skill, coughed an entire mouthful of sake all over Kira and spilled the entire remainder of his glass all over himself.
Nanao froze completely. She seemed entirely unable to move at all, and most of the eyes at the table had been turned toward the pair. Only Yachiru, working on her third bowl of peach sorbet, seemed entirely indifferent.
"Nemu-chan," Rangiku said as gently as she could manage, fighting back the urge to burst out laughing. "Remember what we've told you about inappropriate topics of conversation?"
"Oh?" It was Nemu's turn to look embarrassed. "But Shiro-chan and I have had several discussions about the wisdom of conceiving a child, and I am sure he would never bring up anything inappropriate."
Rangiku blinked at her. "You have no idea how weird it is to hear you call Captain Ukitake 'Shiro-chan'."
Nemu, in return, looked even more confused. "But it is his name, is it not? Shiro is the correct shortened form of Jushiro, and it must be acceptable for his wife to use 'chan' as a term of an endearment as the entirety of his family uses it, whether as nii-chan or jii-chan—"
"I didn't say you were wrong," Rangiku interrupted. "I just can't help thinking of my Shiro-chan. It's hard to remember you have one too; I don't think I've ever heard anyone else call Captain Ukitake by his first name—but I absolutely agree that you must add 'chan'. It suits him."
"Hey, Hisagi, does Ise-san call you Shu-chan when you two have your alone time?" Omaeda demanded.
He and Iba both started chuckling at the thought, but Nanao's icy gaze hit them, and they shut up abruptly.
"At least she's willing to be alone with him, Fatty-face," Yachiru cut in while Hisagi was still scrambling for an answer. "Bet there's never been a woman who'd want to be alone with you, and I bet the only one who ever called you 'chan' was your mom."
Omaeda sputtered in anger and frustration, but even he knew better than to try to argue with the lieutenant from the Eleventh. She had an uncanny instinct for the deepest burns and she never pulled her punches. It was one of the most important rules of lieutenants meetings, never annoy Lieutenant Kusajishi.
"Oh, there has to be someone," Rangiku said lightly, "Who cares more about money and position than personality or, you know, looks—Kaien, you know bunches of nobles, don't you? Surely you could find Omaeda, here, a woman."
Kaien raised his head from a pile of notebooks Nemu had brought him from her division. "What's that, Rangiku?" he asked.
"You're not supposed to be working tonight!" Rangiku declared. She had already stolen a book from Nemu, who had recently become obsessed with studying her husband's illness, and she wasn't about to let Kaien waste the evening either. Something had been up with Ukitake's people since the attack that lead to Miyako's resignation, but even they could take an occasional break. "Tonight is about having fun!"
"Then can I go home?" Kaien asked, smiling at her.
"Now what sort of example would that be for our new, young members?" Rangiku demanded. "You are supposed to be showing them how much we all enjoy being together, just like a family, because we are a family, so don't just sit there and whine about wanting to go home."
"Why not? It's what I do at my sister's," Kaien answered.
Rangiku shook her head. "I've met your sister; all you have to do is add a little sake, and she's a lot of fun-same as here." With that Rangiku refilled his cup and pushed it closer to him. "Fun, not work, remember?"
Kaien looked back at her for a long moment, studying her open smile and bright, happy eyes. Miyako had insisted Rangiku had no idea what Gin was involved in, and it was easy to believe, watching her laugh and drink so freely, but who was to say she wasn't an even better actor than her husband. The entire situation was impossible. "Ok, Rangiku," he said, raising his cup in salute. "You win. No work tonight."
Everyone raised their cups and drank to that.
Stepping through the gate, Shiba Kaien sighed. Captain Ichimaru was standing directly across the street not even managing to look the slightest bit inconspicuous as he enjoyed an icecream cone.
Gin waved pleasantly when he saw Kaien and waited for the lieutenant to join him.
"I think you've used up your favors," Kaien said as he reached Gin.
"The Tenth still needs a captain," Gin answered pleasantly.
"And I'm still not interested," Kaien said. "Now if you'll excuse me, sir, I need to get to work."
"The commute must be annoying," Gin said. "Shiba estate, Division Thirteen, Shiba estate, Division Thirteen: I know Kuchiki does it, but I think one of his great joys in life is being irritated. The Tenth is half the distance and has an exceptional captain's residence. Miyako would probably find it quite comfortable."
"Miyako is comfortable here," Kaien said firmly.
"Don't be silly; we all know she hates it. Ran's always going on about how unhappy poor Miya-chan is. I understand wanting to protect your wife, but forcing her out of the Gotei entirely seems a bit unfair. If you were to make captain the poor thing would at least be able to see her friends everyday, even if she no longer works with them."
Kaien cringed at the suggestion that Miyako was unhappy. "Has anyone ever told you to mind your own business, Captain?"
Gin grinned. "Of course they do. I just never listen."
Kaien took a step closer and lowered his voice almost to a whisper. "Listen, I don't like you, and I don't trust you. I am not going to play any of your games or do anything for you. If you want your wife protected I suggest you do it yourself, because there is no one who is going to become captain of the Tenth just to do it for you."
Gin's eyes widened for just a moment. Then he smiled, fox-like once more. "You're right," he said, pleasantly. "You still have your own to worry about, after all."
"Is that a threat?" Kaien demanded, still managing to keep his voice low.
Gin's smile grew. "It's whatever you imagine it to be, Shiba-kun," he answered. Then he stepped away and waved before he walked away.