Gin didn't respond until after the third knock. It was Kira's day off and Gin's theory of captaining included the belief that if someone was unimportant enough to actually wait for him to tell them they could come in then they probably weren't important enough to talk to, but three knocks meant they were also probably stubborn enough they weren't going to leave him alone. So, sadly, he gave up on his nap and sat up, calling out, "Come in."
He could not remember the name of the girl who entered though he knew her by sight. She was one of the most attractive women in the division. She had the young and innocent look down pat, with wide brown eyes she liked to blink slowly as she looked up at him, all naive and trusting, and always said, "Yes, Captain," sounding like she would do anything he asked of her. He wasn't sure if it was real or an act. On the one hand she was just a couple years out of the Academy, on the other she was a niece or some such of Shihoin Yoruichi, and it seemed unlikely innocent was in the family vocabulary.
She stepped into the room with her head bowed modestly, large, sincere brown eyes looking up through feathered bangs. "Captain Ichimaru," she said, as she carefully closed the door behind her. "I wonder if I might speak to you for a moment."
"What is it-" What was her name? Gin was at a loss. She was the ninth seat or was it twelfth? He probably shouldn't have taken to calling her 'Bunny' in his head. It was her own fault for having such nice, bouncy breasts, even if they were nothing compared to Rangiku's.
"It's just that I heard," the girl began, as she crossed the room, moving in an only fair imitation of Rangiku's most seductive walk. "That Fifth Seat Igarashi is moving to the Seventh, and I thought that I might ask you to consider me as his replacement."
"Oh?" Was Gin's only reply as the girl sat on the couch beside him. That was hardly appropriate, but he was beginning to realize the girl had no intention of being appropriate. How odd. He'd heard of girls who offered sexual favors for advancement in the Gotei, but he'd never actually come across it before himself. He'd really thought he was far too unapproachable to have to worry about anything like it. After all, the most common adjective people used to describe him was 'creepy'. He supposed the girl had the nerve because she was from one of the Four Great Houses; had he forgotten to assign her toilet cleaning duty like he did to most nobles?
"I have been working so hard, Captain," she said, sincerely. "And I would do anything to advance, I would. It's my dream to serve you, Captain, as one of your senior officers. I admire you so much."
The girl was leaning forward, just like Rangiku always did, to put her assets on the best possible display, but unlike Rangiku, she kept her chin down, somehow managing to retain her appearance of youthful innocence while posing seductively.
Gin smiled. Really, this was a very interesting and unexpected turn of events. He'd never had a toy quite like this one. He wondered how he might make the best use of it. "I do like being served by my admirers," he answered. "It's so much better than when my officers hate me. They really tend to whine, but you would never do that, would you-?" Damn it, why couldn't he remember her name?
"No, sir, never. I would never complain. I would be honored whatever you ask of me. After all, the only reason I'm here is to obey your every command, to do whatever you wish." She set one small hand on his thigh and raised her head like she was offering him her mouth.
"Would you really?" Gin asked. Even Kira was careful never to offer Gin whatever he wanted; what Gin might come up with was far too terrifying a prospect. This girl really hadn't been paying attention. "Anything?"
"Yes, Captain," she said, sliding her hand up his thigh-that really was completely inappropriate-and leaned her body into his. "Anything."
"Then tell me your name because I can't, for the life of me, remember it," he told her, smiling hugely. An amusing toy she might be, but he really couldn't afford it at the moment. If he tried to string her along for a while Rangiku would probably murder him; she wouldn't care that he hadn't actually done anything with the mood she'd been in lately-or even worse, she might cry. No, he had to get rid of this girl as thoroughly as possible. "And it won't be nearly as much fun to tell Rangiku about this if I have to call you 'Bunny.' That's the sort of thing she never finds as funny as I do."
The girl had jumped to his feet almost as soon as he started talking, and by the time he was done she was glowing with fury. "You were leading me on!" she accused.
"Was I?" Gin asked, his smile only growing. "I really don't understand how. You have seen my wife, haven't you? How could you think I'd ever find the need to look elsewhere for sex?"
The girl made a disgusted face. "That woman? She's enormous," she scoffed.
Gin grinned. "Enormously pregnant," he said. "And I am sorry, Bunny-chan, but you're just never going to compare. You, precious as you are, are never going to get any sort of rise out of me."
The girl's eyes filled with angry tears. "You-you are a horrible man!" she shouted at him.
Gin's smile grew even bigger. "Hadn't anyone told you that? I am going to have to talk to Kira about properly educating the new recruits. Tell you what, since you missed that memo I'm going to do you a favor and transfer you to the Second Division so you won't have to have a horrible man for your captain any more. How does that sound?"
The girl turned on her heels and marched out of the room, still glowing with fury.
"She's right," Rangiku said. "You are horrible."
Gin shook his head, trying to stop laughing. "What was I supposed to do? Sleep with her? I suppose I could have, but what fun would it have been without you there?"
Rangiku rolled her eyes. "You were supposed to tell her that all advancements in your division are given based on merit and if she really wants to move up she'll focus more on improving her actual abilities and less on trying to seduce her superiors."
"What fun would that be? I really did want to think of some way to lead her on for a bit, but I couldn't think of anything. It's not something that's ever come up before-I would like to believe that it's because I'm so obviously above that sort of thing, but I've been offered all sorts of other bribes. My very favorite thing to do is play dumb and accept the bribe as a gift, and then act offended if they have the guts to explain that they're trying to bribe me. It's so much fun and I almost always get to keep the 'gift'-I wonder why no one else has offered me sex," he said, thoughtfully. Then he added, "It's really hard on a man's ego, knowing that most women wouldn't even sleep with him for a promotion."
"Maybe they know you wouldn't live long enough to actually make the promotion happen," Rangiku said. "You might have noticed 'Bunny' waited until I'm completely incapacitated to make her move." She braced both of her arms on the couch to shift her position just to make the point. She was very pregnant, and since Toshiro's vanishing act had been forced to take in easy. She'd had to stop working at thirty-two weeks, and Unohana was threatening to put her on bed rest.
"Too true," Gin agreed. "Poor thing didn't realize you're even more terrifying pregnant. If I was going to cheat on you I'd certainly wait until you're in a better mood."
Rangiku glared at him. "Good to know," she said icily.
"But when you are in a good mood I have to spend all my time making sure none of the good-looking young men of Seireitei try to make a move on my ridiculously sexy wife. You're absolutely irresistible when you laugh-the way you throw back your head and your breasts bounce and threaten to burst out of your shihakusho-I do feel sorry for them, being able to look but not touch, but I'm still not going to share."
Rangiku burst out laughing. "You're such a liar!" she accused, laughing even harder at the idea that she was still so desirable. "No one thinks of me like that any-"
But Gin dropped abruptly onto the couch beside her, and he was pressing heated kisses down the length of her neck her neck, as his repeated, "Absolutely irresistible."
"Maybe to you," she answered a little breathlessly.
"To every man who's ever laid eyes on you," he argued, and that was pretty much the end of the conversation