This is me tackling the age old cry of "DEAR GOD MAN STOP ASKING HER OUT FOR DRINKS AT THE END OF THE DAY AND TAKE HER ON A REAL DATE!"
We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home
I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky under my skin
- Lifehouse (First Time)
It had been eating at her since last night. That's why she was here, first thing. She had turned him down, again, and the thought wouldn't leave her alone. It was true – Lucy had to be somewhere that night and she was already late to relieve her, but it felt like she was always saying no. When she wanted to say yes. But it was always "hey let's get a drink to blow off this bad case" or "how about a cocktail to celebrate our win?" She was tired of that. She wanted more than a couple of drinks and a buzz to take home alone.
She watched him through the blinds, settling in for the day. Coffee. Phone. Computer. Pen. Everything in order. She honestly had no clue what she was doing here. None. Other than the feeling that had been gnawing at her stomach since she said no. Guilt and sadness and a little bit of anger and also hope. Because he kept asking. At least he did for now. How much longer would he, though? Why should she keep expecting him to? It's not like he was a mind reader. He didn't know what she was thinking and feeling, that she was finding it harder and harder to maintain ANY kind of boundary with him. What saying yes would lead to. And that she wanted it to lead there. But it was unknown. Scary unknown. Probably as scary as the unknown of bringing a baby into her life and her home. But she was lost to him. She knew that. She had been for some time. And the thought of giving into the unknown, to jumping feet first – well, that gave her a feeling of being alive. He was her center.
"So, have you ever thought about trying a different tactic with me?" she asked, throwing open his door.
He jumped up, almost knocking over his coffee cup and scattering papers across his desk.
"Dear God, Liv, give me a heart attack. What the hell?"
"Exactly. I found myself asking that exact question last night when I got home. What the hell?"
He narrowed his eyes at her and she felt her heart start pounding against her chest. Like a smitten teenager approaching her crush for the first time. "What in the world are you talking about, Liv?"
He was staring at her. Hard. They were alone, for the moment. Soon people would start filing in and this moment, this quiet, this peace would be lost to them. She thought, for a long time, that it was easier to deflect and hide. Ignore. But she was tired and she knew, above all, she deserved happiness. Light. Love.
She held her breath for a moment and let it out. "I asked you if you were had ever thought about trying a different tactic with me?"
"Look, Liv, if this is your way of telling me to drop the getting drinks thing then fine, I will. You just had to say so. I'm a big boy."
She nodded and started walking toward him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and just watched her move toward him, finally stopping when she could lean back against the corner of his desk. He got a whiff of whatever body spray or lotion she had used that morning and it almost knocked him over.
She closed her eyes for a moment and then looked at him, holding her breath as she watched his features soften, as he cocked his head to the side and smiled at her.
"What's up?" he asked quietly. She was scared, for just a second, knowing she was taking the line they refused to cross and setting it on fire. But that chance was now. She had to take it.
"Ask me out on a real date. Not drinks at the spur of the moment after a long day. Take me to dinner, some fancy place with a ridiculous wine list and low light. Let me show you I own something besides pant suits." She watched as his eyes widened, like he couldn't believe that she was actually saying these things. He was frozen. Stuck. But there was something there in his eyes – hope, desire, a need for him to be able to believe her. She decided to go all in, throw it all out there.
She grabbed his tie and pulled her into him, pressing her lips against his. He ripped his hands out of his pockets, grabbing her waist and pulling her flush against him, his lips demanding more. She swiped her tongue over his lips and they were soon dueling with each other, her hands in his hair, pulling him closer, his arms wrapped tightly around her, refusing to let her go. When her lungs couldn't handle any more, she pulled back, smiling as he chased her for one last kiss.
"I will take you anywhere you want as long as we get to do that again. Soon. Very soon." She ran her hand down his neck and pressed her fingers against his lips.
"You need to actually say the words, Rafael." And the smile that broke out on his face let her know that this was right, because this is where they belonged.
"Olivia, would you have dinner with me tonight?" She smiled just as brightly as he was and pulled him back down. He stopped, just a breath away from touching her lips with his.
"Words, Olivia. You need to use your words" he whispered against her.
"Yes" she replied, more as an exhale as he captured her lips again.