Guys, I even hated myself a little bit yesterday for that chapter. No clue where it came from, but when I got up this morning I knew I had to follow it up.

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

-John Mayer (Say)

She clenched her hands together several times, willing them to stop shaking. The fight, the things she had said… it was exhaustion and frustration and a little bit of deflection. But he had paused. She had asked him if there was anything else and he had paused. There had been thoughts running through his head. She could see it on his face. But, in the end, he just left. He called her Lieutenant and just left. It had been eating at her. She ignored it as best she could, but an hour after she left, she grabbed her things and went find him. A call to Carmen let her know he went home instead of back to work. Like he couldn't face it. She had to know what he wanted to say.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, knocking on his door. Her faith in all of this was in tatters. Why wouldn't it be? After Cassidy and Tucker, she wasn't sure that this… romance, affection, love… was something she could actually believe in. But Barba stayed with her. By her side. In her life. Even when she pushed and annoyed and asked things of him that she shouldn't be asking, he stayed. She knew of the other offers. People liked to tell her things. The amount of times she had heard he had been offered a run for office or a partnership in a private law firm, and yet, he didn't leave them. Leave her. She had to know what he wanted to say.

She heard the door open and could feel him standing there, staring at her. "Liv?" he asked quietly.

Her head shot up and her eyes opened wide, like she could feel her heart doing in that moment. "You wanted to say something else. I need you to tell me what it was."

She watched him clench his jaw and grip the door harder. The sweats and t-shirt were distracting her from the issue at hand. The way his green eyes were at war with his mouth didn't help her either.

"It was nothing."

She pushed past him and into the apartment. She heard him close the door. She turned back and he was looking down. "Your hands are shaking" he whispered.

She laughed nervously. "Yeah."

"Why?" he asked, finally meeting her eyes.

"Please. Please tell me what you really wanted to say in my office." The battle was back in his eyes. He ran his hand through his hair, looking around her but not at her.

"Why are your hands shaking?" he asked.

"Nerves."

He finally met her eyes. "About what?"

"What you really wanted to say to me in my office."

"You need to make your hands stop shaking."

"Can't. Tried the whole way over here. No luck." He stepped toward her, grabbing her hands with his, trying to still them. They were so close, yet still so far. He was staring at their hands.

"Please. I need to hear it. I have to hear what you really wanted to say." But he continued to stare at their hands. She felt his grip tighten some, like he was trying to physically take the nerves out of her and into him. She swayed into him slightly. "Rafael" she whispered and the next thing she knew, her back slammed into the wall, his lips moving harshly, but oh so deliciously against hers. She moaned and ran her hands up into his hair, pulling him closer. He ripped his lips off of hers and ran a hot trail down her neck as he ran his hand down from her hips, pulling her leg up and around him, pushing against her. She gasped loudly as he shifted against her, running his tongue up and down her neck. All she could do was hang on for dear life. With one last rough kiss, he pulled back, eyes dark and face flushed.

"That. That is what I wanted to tell you in your office." She was sure there was more, but she found she couldn't bring herself to care at this point, as he dragged her over to his couch, pulling her down on top of him, helping her heal her faith and her heart and her fear.