This takes place right smack in the middle of December Solstice. That scene with Liv, Rafael and Lucia. Some lovely soul on Twitter posted it in its entirety and if you watch Liv in the back ground, there is something more there. It's been rattling around in my head since I saw it over the weekend. Start to finish, December Solstice is like the greatest Barson episode ever.
I was also slightly obsessed with this song my senior year in high school. Like a crazy amount.
These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break.
These days you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face.
And when you do you'll know how it was meant to be.
See the signs and know their meaning.
It's true, you'll know how it was meant to be.
-Ten Thousand Maniacs (These Are Days)
"Benson! He talks about you. You drive him a little crazy."
"Just doing my job."
She pulled out her phone as he walked his mother away, talking to her about family business. She watched him retreating from her a few steps and smiled. He talked about her? To his mother? Enough for Lucia to know she drives him crazy? Olivia glanced back up at Barba and his mother from her phone, watching the way they interact. It was obvious that, while they disagree, they love each other.
She knew they had limited time together. She knew a little bit about Lucia Barba and how hard she worked to keep her school going. How much time she spent taking care of her mother. Olivia knew his grandmother was struggling. Something about a nursing home had been mentioned in passing. To see this family that, in the midst of craziness with running a school and trying to protect this elderly man from the three women trying to take advantage of him, they still found the time to look out for each other.
She tried to give them their privacy, as much as they could have in this busy hallway. She responded to a few texts quickly as they continued talking. She paused, wondering how it felt to have a mother that cared so much about family that she would take the time to come all the way down here for a conversation that wouldn't be able to last for more than a few minutes. She often wished she had someone to bounce things like the thoughts she beat down off of. Someone who could really tell her if what she thought she felt for him was just an offshoot of the job and the situations they found themselves in or if they were real. If this was real.
"Bye mom" she heard him say. She watched him as he watched his mom walk away, taking in a deep breath and letting it go. To see a side of him she rarely got to see – a soft side, the side of him that showed he had a heart and feelings and wanted to protect those he cared about. Her squad sometimes wondered about that, but she never did. She never doubted that he had a huge heart for those that he loved.
"Everything ok?" she asked as he walked back over to her.
"The nursing home" he said, waving her off. She just nodded and knew to drop it. He would talk about it when he wanted to. She knew him well enough to know the Rafael Barba sign for 'later'. They walked next to each other in silence, like they tended to do from time to time. They got to the end of the hall and turned to look at each other. She knew she needed to head back to the precinct, to continue working to help this family and work the case. But she was intrigued. Just 30 seconds with Barba and his mother and she knew she needed more. She needed to know more.
"So…"
"Don't start" he warned, giving her the same look he had given her just a few minutes ago as he walked his mother away from her.
"I drive you crazy?"
"How is that news?"
"It's not. Except I know that you two don't get to spend a lot of time together and…"
She watched him look down to his briefcase and fiddle with the handle. "She asks me about work. You come up." He looked back up at her and there was something in his eyes. Something else. She took a slight step toward him and he didn't move away.
"How often do I come up?"
"Enough. More than you probably should." He gave her a slight smile and she felt her heart jump just a bit. This was something that she wanted to explore. Needed to explore. With him. It felt like that moment was meant to be. The universe showing her a way through the muddle thoughts in her head. She almost didn't come out of that courtroom. She was about to just go to his office, but in the moment, she decided to go seek him out. Like the universe knew she needed to meet his mother today. You drive him a little crazy. Those words were going to ring in her head for a long time to come.
She was about to open her mouth and see what would tumble out when both of their phones started to buzz. One look at the each of their phones and back at each other knew that they needed to move, to head back into this case. She smiled at him and started to head down the elevator.
"Liv?" She turned back to see him still standing there, watching her the way she watched him just a few minutes ago.
"Yeah."
"Talk later?"
"Yeah". He nodded and smiled, turning on his heel, heading away from her. She watched his retreating form, with a growing sense of happiness blooming in her heart.