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GWEN'S HOUSE - MORNING
Ianto pulls up fast in Jack's Grand Cherokee. As he screeches to a stop, the kids pile out with their gear.
Ianto takes an anxious look toward Gwen's place. Here we go.
The clock reads 8:10. Ianto and the kids enter. Toshiko's hair is brushed forward, hiding her face. Owen is bright. Gwen's edgy, ready to snap.
"How do you hold down a job?" Gwen starts straight in "It's 8:10. You were supposed to be here at 7:00. She's missed her sunrise Groom'n Ride."
"This is Friday, her riding lesson is on Tuesdays." Ianto pulls out post its "I got it right here..."
"Every Tuesday except the 3rd Tuesday of the month when it's switched to Friday except in April when she rides on Thursday. It's not that hard. Didn't you have a mother?" Gwen sneers knowing full well Ianto's mother is dead.
Flinching, Ianto tries to ignore the jibe "Can I please have a cup of coffee?"
"We don't have any coffee."
"What is this? The Betty Ford Center?" Ianto mutters as he frowns at her.
"Toshiko, how's your video rep..." Toshiko rushes past her. Owen saunters off after his sister. Gwen turns to Ianto, accusingly. "What happened with Toshiko? Has nothing I said gotten through to you?"
"Maybe you could back off just a little bit…" Ianto pleads, his head ready to explode.
"What did you do?" Gwen demands folding her arms in that accusatory way Ianto hates.
"Nothing. Look, I want to talk to you about...well...Jack said to ask you..."
Gwen's edge sharpened by Ianto's unease.
"See, the place where I can connect with Toshiko is my photography. Because she loves video and all..."
"And...?" Gwen demands.
"She's been talking about this little editing machine, it's only..."
Gwen cuts him off at the knees "a ridiculously expensive and inappropriate item, which her father and I have already told her she is far too young to own. But you apparently want to buy her forgiveness, with..."
Ianto has had enough "Forgiveness? For what, exactly? I didn't steal him from you .. you were already divorced for the love of kittens!"
Silence.
Gwen knows she had gone too far and backtracks to the earlier argument "How much time have you got? Let's start with this morning. Why did she run from this room?"
Long beat. Then, Ianto looks dead on at Gwen. "Jack was in the shower this morning and Toshiko sort of walked in without knocking."
"I'm sure that didn't upset her. Everyone in our family takes showers."
"I was in there in him" Ianto adds.
The air is thick with tension.
"Did you or Jack talk to her about it afterwards?" Gwen asks with deadly calm.
"No. I thought it might be uncomfortable for her …" Ianto is over this, not his kid and it shouldn't be his problem. He really didn't sign up for the baggage Jack has dragged into the relationship when he promised it wouldn't change things to live together.
"You mean for you! A 10-year-old girl is coping with the fact that her father is never coming back to live with his family. She sees her father naked with another man for the first time. And you think it's best for her if every- one pretends it didn't happen?" Gwen is righteous now, turning away "This isn't going to work out."
"You're damn right." Ianto explodes "I'm gonna get sick of your imperious bullshit. I never said I was Betty Fucking Crocker. If every time life hits her in the face you want to have a 12 hour talk every third Friday or the month - go ahead! I have a life!"
"Oh and I don't because I have a children?!" Gwen sneers "The problem is you're too self-involved to ever be a parental."
"Maybe the problem is your kids. Maybe they're spoiled, coddled brats!"
"Get out!" Gwen screams with rage.
Ianto smiles sweetly holding up the Post Its "But it's not on the schedule!"
"You got to hell!" Gwen turns away, storming out of the room.
"Ah Ah Ah! You owe me a quarter"
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YMCA KITCHEN
Jack stands in an apron before Toshiko's Girl Scout Troop, rolling out a large pie dough. They imitate his every move.
"Now Ladies, the secrets to a great pie is the crust. And the secret to a
great flaky pie crust comes from less flour and more...what?"
"Ice cold water." Toshiko says with confidence.
Jack adoringly agrees "That's my girl..."
Ianto watches from a corner.
"Blueberry pie must be topped with vanilla Haagan Daz and/or creme fraiche... now the secret to a great creme fraiche is..."
"Orange peel!" all the girls yell with delight.
"...which also is the secret to..."
"French toast!" they yell and laugh with glee.
"Now don't forget to teach your fathers that. Next week...apple brown betty!" He takes off his apron and walks toward Ianto as the girls file out.
"She said no." Ianto pouts.
He doesn't even know what he's talking about.
"The editing machine. I mean, Toshiko would have really loved it." Ianto clarifies anyway. He looks down. "It would have been great for us, so obviously, Gwen just…" Eyes down. Choosing his words. "She's really a difficult person..." Looks up. "Best thing ever happened to you was her throwing you out on your butt."
An afterthought... "Not that I have a personal stake in it."
Jack comes and kisses him. "Get ready. To get really mad."
"Uh. Toshiko's video report has been switched again."
"Not yet." Jack shakes his head.
"Hey, I sold my body to Satan to clear Friday at two o'clo..." Ianto starts to rant but Jack cuts him off.
"We have the kids." Jack barks, cringing "Next weekend."
"WHAT?"
"And it's my call. I promised them water-skiing, instead o..."
Ianto whispers with quiet pain "Our weekend. At that sweet little B & B."
Jack puts his arms around him. "And the evil part is. I am so stoked about the water-skiing. I can't wait."
Jack tastes his mouth. And again. A sweet, hot moment. Ianto's fingers trace up his neck. To his hair.
"No, this is good." Ianto finally whispers "Celibacy is healthy. For a guy your age. You'll get used to it."
From the kiss that follows. He won't have to.
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GWEN'S KITCHEN - ANSWERING MACHINE. IT CLICKS, WHIRLS, and...
"Hi, it's the trophy bimbo. Toshiko's teacher called, and her video report is being moved up to 8:30 tomorrow. Sorry to deprive your step aerobics class of their role model." Pause. Ianto is heard sighing softly "Anyway. I'm sorry I lost my temper the other day. And I'm sure you are,…"
Owen looming over the hardware. Fingers poised above the buttons, and he...
"...no, apology necessa..."
...strikes! Playing all the keys at once. Like chords on a baby grand.
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CLASSROOM
A small TV MONITOR, the angelic face of 10-year-old Tamara, practicing for the Miss America Diplomatic Interview, circa 2009... "Well, if I had a million dollars... I would use it to...feed all the precious hungry children of the world. And bring about total world peace."
The class and teacher are watching raptly. Filmmaker Toshiko in the seat of honour next to her proud father. Ianto in the back of the room, anxiously looking at the back door. While on screen...
...another face. Jared, bad as he wanna be... "A million big ones. Oh. I'd buy about a thousand babes. Not to do anything bad, I mean. Just to hang with."
Near the monitor, Toshiko's eyes are also furtively cutting to the classroom's back door. On screen now...
...the handsomest 10-year-old since DiCaprio. Brad the Dreamboat. Stares soulfully at the camera. Murmurs "Well, first off, Toshiko. I'd give half of it. To you."
The class OOOOOS, WHISTLES. Toshiko flushes, but she clearly likes it. Brad grins a Redford grin her way. And through the back door BURSTS...a harried, dishevelled GWEN. Still in workout clothes. As on screen...
"There you have it." Toshiko says on the screen "Now ask yourself ...what would YOU do?"
The screen goes BLACK.
The class, teacher and especially Jack ERUPT with APPLAUSE. So does Gwen, who has locked eyes across the room with her mortally-wounded abandoned daughter. Then Gwen's eyes move to...Ianto, a deer in headlights. Death by Army ants would be too kind.
Toshiko, Jack and Gwen Glaring at Ianto, who looks awkwardly at his feet. Kids stream past, unaware of the gravity of the moment.
"Machines do not EAT message." Gwen snarls.
"Look, I..."
"Of all the cheap excuses. To break a child's heart."
The jury is in. There is no appeal. Gwen takes her daughter's hand.
"Don't worry, sweetie, there's still the Harvest Pageant. And you are the lead vegetable..." Gwen says with bottomless pride. "And nothing. And no one. Can keep me away.
One laser look at Jack. This is your responsibility. And she leads her baby off.