Author's notes-Saw a review from a guest(appreciate the review btw) about Shepard doing a complete 180 in regards to his feelings towards Tali(from accepting to not so accepting) and decided I needed to get this chapter out faster than I usually do. I know that it may seem like I was jumping around with Shepard's reaction but the truth is that Shepard wasn't necessarily mad at Tali for what she did, rather that she almost revealed it. I know I probably messed up expressing it but Shepard was so frustrated because Tali nearly got herself in some serious trouble(raping people tends to do that). Hopefully this chapter further clears up what I was trying to do but make no mistake Tali and Shepard will end up together in this story...the only problem is getting Shepard to agree.
Oh also just hit 10,000 views on this story with 90 followers, far more than I was ever expecting. thanks everybody
Shepard sat on his still messy bed as he attempted to gather his thoughts. There were mere moments before Tali came strolling into his room for that talk he had brought up. The problem was that he had no idea what he was going to say, what could he say?
I'm sorry but I'm not really all that sorry because it was you who made me act like that?
Sorry that it's not my fault you drugged me, then blabbered to the crew about it?
Sorry that I kept you from being thrown off this ship and into the nearest prison?
He sighed in defeat as he failed to come up with a start to what was sure to be a tense, awkward conversation. Of course he had absolutely no idea what Tali would even do when she walked through that door. Would she scream his head off for the way he treated her or would she simply give him the cold shoulder? He reflected that he wouldn't be able to blame her for whatever she did.
"Address me only as commander" he mumbled to himself "great way to show her you care John, tell her to never use your name again" he chastised himself. The arguably more logical part of his mind told himself that was the smart thing to do as it would keep the others from growing suspicious, after-all it was not normal to address a commanding officer by their first name. He glanced at the bed as he sat there pondering if he had really made the best decision in the sick-bay moments ago.
Would fixing up the bed make the situation less awkward? Probably not but still worth a shot. He thought to himself as he got up and began to straighten up the bed. After a moment he decided against it because it seemed the majority of his bedding would have to go though the wash...perhaps twice. He blushed slightly as he tore the sheets off his bed and balled them up to throw in some, hopefully, discreet corner of the room.
Just as the sheets landed the door to his cabin opened. Shepard's full attention was now drawn to Quarian standing there completely still, minus the frantic wringing of her hands. She simply stood there eyes glued to the floor, not daring to roam anywhere else.
...No screaming? Shepard thought to himself before speaking "Tali...please come in and take a seat" he said while gesturing towards that a chair that he had pulled to be in front of his bed. Tali nodded frantically before nervously making her way to the chair and sitting down. Shepard eased himself on the mattress and faced Tali as he spoke, or at least attempted, to Tali.
"Tali I-"
Suddenly Tali cut him off, finally looking at him rather than the ground"Joh-Commander I would like to...to apologize for my behavior and...I" she went back to gazing at the floor and her voice lost alot of her previous energy " I'm sorry."
Shepard felt something inside of him die when he saw Tali in this state of mind.
I think I'd rather have her scream my head off. He thought to himself as he witnessed Tali in her pit of self-loathing. He couldn't stand seeing her like this anymore, wouldn't see her like this anymore. He was going to set things straight...somehow.
"Have to admit Tali getting a little tired of hearing you say 'I'm sorry' haven't you already said it enough?" He lightly chided hoping to ease the tension and to make her feel more at ease. He cringed however when he noticed that she tensed up and the frantic wringing of Tali's hands had picked up in speed slightly.
She stumbled over her words "I-I'm sorr... I mean I err...uhh"
The commander chuckled, in humor and in mild disbelief "I was joking Tali." He put a hand on her shoulder "I'm sorry I was just trying to ease the tension."
He left his hand on her shoulder a bit longer than needed, and Tali noticed. She gazed at his hand that was currently holding her reassuringly and frantically nodded her head in understanding and, unbeknownst to Shepard, with excitement.
He pulled his hand back, ignoring the almost whimper that came out of Tali as he did so, and spoke again "But there was a bit of truth in that joke, you don't have to apologize anymore...in fact it's my turn" He rubbed his neck as he continued "I... I said some things back there that I perhaps could have put in a better way."
He saw Tali tilt her head in confusion before she suddenly tensed up and began to stutter out excitedly "D-does that mean that we..."
Shepard however cut her off before she could finish "Wait a minute Tali" he commanded as he brought up a hand in a stopping gesture "While I do regret how I said it I still do mean what I said" He saw all of the previous energy fade from Tali and quickly spoke again before she sunk into another pit of depression "Hold on, give me a minute to explain."
He sighed "Okay commander's orders stay quite while I try explain, afterwords you can ask any questions or scream my head off or whatever. understood?"
Tali piqued up "I...Yes commander"she sat up with full attention gazing intently at Shepard.
She's cute when she gets so excited. Shepard quickly focused his thoughts to the matter at hand "Well to start off I am going to have to blame you for my...less than stellar mood this morning" He grimaced at the memory of how rudely he had treated the doctor and assumed that his next check-up may be slightly less gentle "I know that may sound messed up but...you scared me Tali, scared the hell out of me" He heard the beginning of a fumbled sentence from Tali and quickly raised his hand again to stop her " To be more specific I thought you had gotten yourself in some serious trouble, that you had given yourself a one-way ticket off of this ship to a nearby prison" He smiled gently as he looked at her and continued "Obviously I was scared that I wouldn't be able to see you again so I...acted without really thinking and ended up saying some things that probably sounded alot worse than they really were."
He saw Tali continue to nervously wring her hands and decided that he had better let her ask whatever questions she had before she simply had a breakdown from confusion and anticipation "I guess I've said my piece and it looks like you're getting tired of hearing me talk, go ahead ask those questions I know you're dying to ask."
Tali unexpectedly shot up from her seat "wha-I...No I could never get tired of hearing you talk but I do have questions that I want to ask...but that doesn't mean I get tired of hearing your voice or anything it just means-"
"Tali your rambling again, go ahead and ask your questions" Shepard teased with a small smile.
Tali sat back down in her chair, seemingly calm downed and returning to her more nervous posture. The floor seemed to be rather interesting to her as that's what she stared at while she asked her first question. "So...So did you mean it...we aren't a...couple?"
"Well...no we aren't" He noticed that Tali sank into her chair even more, resembling a deflated balloon. "well not yet at least" he quickly added.
A small but still noticeable squeal of delight came from Tali, thoughts of what Shepard just said filling her mind.
Not yet, He said not yet
That means it will happen, he has accepted that he is mine and I am his
We're practically already bond mates!
Shepard oblivious that Tali was already in her own world of thought continued to explain "I'm not sure how it works in Quarian culture but relationships in human culture are a bit...slow. They take time to develop they aren't just instantaneous."
And the healthy ones don't tend to start off with tranquilizer and bindings. Shepard thought slightly bitterly to himself.
Tali decided that Shepard explaining how human relationships work was a sign that she should explain how it worked in her culture. "We'll for us Quarians a relationship is a very serious bond, and once the two finally" she coughed slightly, from lingering sickness or awkwardness Shepard did not know "well bond they stay together for life, becoming each other's most valued and treasured possession."
Shepard felt a slight chill run up his spine from hearing Tali's explanation "So what you're saying is-"
Tali quickly finished his sentence for him "By Quarian culture we are already...what is it called in your culture...married!" her voice took a slightly more sinister and darker tone "I am yours and you are mine, forever."
Shepard, either not noticing or not fazed by the ominous way that Tali spoke, continued "That sounds...interesting but..."
Tali tilted her head slightly her eyes dimming slightly "but?"
"but I find it hard to believe that such a serious bond could be formed over such a short period of time, after all we've only known each other for a few months now" Shepard stated plainly while shrugging his shoulders.
Tali suddenly tensed up, a blush hidden by the visor quickly formed on her face. Her voice was shaky and uneven, not from sadness but intense nervousness "W-well I may have...cut some corners and hurried the process b-but what's done is done r-right?"
"No not right" Shepard said with a small smug smile finding some measure of enjoyment from seeing Tali stumped like this. "so tell me how long is it supposed to take for two Quarians to reach that point in a relationship."
A small and inaudible mumble came from Tali.
"A bit louder Tali, I didn't catch that."
Another mumble, still quite but audible, came from Tali "at least three years."
Three years? Well I guess it makes sense because of their suits and all but...well that still kinda sucks. Shepard thought to himself, processing the information before addressing Tali again "Well I can understand why you'd want to...speed up the process a bit" He rubbed his neck as he thought to himself again.
Hell of a way you picked to "speed it up" however. "But you still went a bit fast for my liking. Call me a conservative but I like to get to know my partner a bit better before we...well" he raised his hands and did air quotation marks "bond."
He noticed Tali's eyes under her visor appeared to be wide open and her voice was bubbly but still a little uneven "a-are you saying that you...you want."
Shepard finished her sentence for her this time "Date you?" He huffed in genuine disappointment "Well yes that would be nice but our schedules don't really allow that, you can thank Saren for that."
Tali thought darkly to herself. I am going to kill that Turian bosh'tet.
Shepard not noticing that Tali was mumbling to herself "When this whole saving the galaxy thing is done with however maybe we could...well get to know each other a bit more, decide if we should move on" He said a warm smile.
Tali again thought darkly to herself, this time however in a more positive and excited way. I'm going to kill that Turian bosh'tet as soon as I can!
Shepard spoke again interrupting Tali's musings on what exactly she would do when she did get her hands on Saren "Well I think that pretty much covers it right? I want you to know Tali, I'm not opposed to being in a relationship with you, but it has to be on both our terms, not just yours" He said hoping that it didn't sound like he was scolding her.
Tali however seemed to have more questions "I...I have two more questions...or one question and a request"She said hurriedly.
A request? oh boy this might get interesting real fast. Shepard thought to himself. "Okay Tali, shoot"he said with a small grin.
"W-well in the sick-bay you...you said that we...we didn't make love last night" She gazed at Shepard her eyes dimming as her speech picked up in pace "I've been trying to wrap my head around what exactly that was supposed to mean, I mean that can't be true right? Can you please explain?"
Shepard gulped and felt a small blush on his face as he recalled some of the events from last night "W-well no that wasn't necessarily lovemaking."
Tali's head tilted to the side as she continued to stare at Shepard "How can that be true?"
Shepard cleared his throat before speaking again "That was a bit too...intense to be called lovemaking" he noticed the light in Tali's eyes return and she straightened her head. Now that she had seemed to calm down Shepard decided it would be safe to tease her a bit "Play your cards right and I might just show what lovemaking really his" he said confidently with a small grin and a wink.
Tali seem absolutely flabbergasted "I...that...errm..I-I would like that very much" she managed to stutter out as her breathing picked up in pace and she felt her face heat up.
"Course you would" Shepard teased again with a small chuckle "Now let's hear that request" he held up a finger "keep it innocent, you still have to wait until you can make more exciting requests from me."
Tali franticcly nodded showing that she understood before she spoke again while pushing two of her fingers together "Well I was just thinking...I know what I did was wrong and I promise not to do it again so...I don't have to be punished anymore right?"
Punished what the hell did I do to punish her? Shepard thought to himself after hearing Tali's odd request, however Tali quickly clarified what she meant.
"Can I...Can I please use your name again?"
She considered that a punishment? How much does she like me exactly?
"P-please saying it brings me so much joy, I've felt so empty since you told me not to say it anymore. P-please it would really mean alot to me." Tali practically begged.
Well guess that kind of answers that question. Shepard sighed before answering "Only when it's just you and me, when there are others around I still need you to address me as commander, or even just Shepard."
Tali suddenly lunged up from her chair and wrapped her arms around the commander "Thank you John!" she happily called out as she tightened her grip around the commander.
Shepard was slightly caught off guard from the sudden physical contact and her overjoyed reaction "ermm...no problem Tali" he said while he casually patted her back.
Tali nuzzled her head into her neck before whispering "John."
"Yeah?" Shepard asked wondering what she wanted now.
"John" Tali said again.
"Yes Tali?" He asked again slightly more confused.
However Tali said nothing, well nothing except his name...multiple times.
"John. John. John. John. John. John. John. John. John. John."
"Tali...what are you doing?"Shepard asked while glancing to her wrist to check for any sudden movement. None came however and Tali simply breathed in deeply before letting go of the commander.
"Just catching up for some lost time John, I've been wanting to say that for a while now" she said while bouncing on her toes.
She really is cute in her own little way. Shepard thought to himself as a small smile formed on his face. He was going to speak again when suddenly his omni tool flared to life as he received a message from Joker.
He read over the message quickly before addressing Tali again "Tali are you feeling well enough for a combat mission?"
Tali nodded frantically "If it's with you I'm always ready!"
Shepard chuckled slightly "great to hear" He closed his omni tool as he continued to speak "Go get ready then and inform Garrus to meet us at the Mako." he ordered gently
Tali nodded in understanding "Of course John, where are we going this time?"
Shepard grunted a response as he also started to get ready"Virmire."
Ending note-Finally going to get back to moving the actual story of mass effect along next chapter, I'll let you all deduce what's going to happen on Virmire ; )