Everything has changed for me
With all the bright lights in the city at night
It's still too dark to see
And if you take me by the hand with the whole world watching

-Tony Lucca (Never Gonna Let You Go)

Chaos. Everywhere she looked was chaos. It was supposed to be routine hearing. That turned into a mess when the girlfriend of the accused and her band of crazy girlfriends stormed in, guns blazing, making over the top demands. Or so she had heard. She stepped out to take a call and all hell had broken loose and she was stuck on the outside, literally, while Fin and Rollins and Barba were trapped in that courtroom.

The sun had set quite some time ago when the women had finally been disarmed and restrained. She was about to come out of her skin at that point. Fin had managed to get her one text, saying he and Rollins were good, but Barba was at the center of the fray, since he was the one the crazy girlfriend had deemed judge, jury and executioner. She rubbed her hand over her face, unable to shake the memory of two weeks ago.

She smiled as she sat her glass down, next to his on her table. The work had been done for hours, but they still sat here, together. She could tell he didn't want to walk away from her and if he had tried, she would have pulled him back, physically. She slid her eyes over to him to find him staring at her, hard.

He smiled slightly. "I should go" he whispered.

"Probably" she replied, yet neither one of them moved away from each. In fact, he seemed to shift closer to her. She sighed and rested her head on her closed fist, facing him.

"I thought you were leaving."

"I said I should go, not that I was." She bit her lip as his eyes darted to her lips and back to her gaze.

"What are we doing?" she asked.

"I don't know, but if you want me to stop, Liv, you better say so right now." But the only words that came to her mind as he wound his hand into her hair, pulling her lips toward his, were 'why did we wait so long?'

And now she couldn't lay eyes on him. Fin had lost sight of him in the chaos of the take down. And there were so many people and the darkness didn't help either. She couldn't make out faces. She knew part of it was her fear. The fear that after this morning, she wouldn't get the chance to make things right.

She could feel the smile break out on her face as she saw him coming toward her. Every time she saw him, the memory of his lips on hers, his hands on her hips, the feel of his back under her hands, how it felt waking up wrapped around him, she felt the happiness take over. But it was so new. He came toward her, that look on his face and she froze, looking around. He stopped short, the happiness wiped off his face, being replaced with annoyance and anger.

"Hi" she said, gripping her coffee hard. He nodded and shoved his free hand in his pocket, glaring at her. She knew what was wrong. It was a discussion they had had several times already.

"Raf…"

"Liv, no. I told you. All in. I'm all in. You are the one dragging her feet. I would have been in Cutter's office last week, disclosing everything and signing whatever he wanted. I'm too old to play this game. I'm not sure I can. I want you. In every way possible, I want you. But you need to decide what you want. If you want to play games, maybe this" he said, waving between the two of them "isn't meant to be."

She could kick herself for making him think she was anything less than all in. Noah hadn't been able to stop talking about his latest obsession, Rafael Barba, and Liv just let him. When Barba wasn't around, Noah just chattered away and Liv loved hearing her son talk about this man who had become so ingrained in their lives. She needed to find him.

She felt a hand on her arm. She turned to see Fin, pointing toward an ambulance at the bottom of the steps.

"He's down there getting checked out."

She was off before he finished the sentence. She skidded to a stop around the back of the ambulance to see him sitting there, jacket off, tie loosened, vest hanging open. The EMT was looking at his hand as he opened and closed it.

"Mr. Barba, I think your hand is fine."

"I told you it was. Go check on someone who is actually hurt!" She had to stifle a laugh as the EMT sighed and grabbed his bag, rolling his eyes at the ADA as he walked away. He finally met her gaze.

"I'm fine, Liv. They were just checking to make sure my hand wasn't fractured or anything."

"Why would they think it was?"

"Well, I may have broken that son of a bitch's nose when he took a run at me." And she started to laugh. Of course, the mouth of Jerome Street laid out a defendant. He probably didn't think twice about it.

"Well, at least you didn't give him your home address. That's an improvement." He nodded, pressing his lips together, staring at her. She felt the tears in her eyes. Eyes were on them but in that moment, she didn't care. She squared her shoulders and stepped toward him. He was frozen, watching her move, and that was on her. She grabbed his face, pressing her lips to his, saying 'to hell with everyone else'. She felt his arm wrap around her waist and she let the rest of her fear fly away with the wind.

After a moment, he pulled back, looking up at her, a look of love and happiness on his face. She rested her hand on his cheek, running her thumb over his cheekbone, wondering how she would ever keep her hands to herself again.

"Can you leave?"

"Are you asking me to go home with you, Lieutenant?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows at her.

"You bet your sweet Cuban ass." He laughed and stood up, arm wrapped around her waist tightly as they turned to see they had an audience. Rollins smiled at them brightly, nodding her approval. Olivia looked over to find her boss, Chief Dodds, staring at them. He pressed his lips together and waved them off. "Take tomorrow, Olivia. It's been a big night." And he walked away. She looked over at Rafael and he shrugged.

"You heard the man. We owe Noah a zoo day. Let's all play hookey tomorrow." He pressed a kiss to her cheek and lead her off into the night, toward home.