16

The dimly lit bar. With its soft upscale buzz. Where Gwen told Jack she had cancer. Tonight, she waits alone. Watching the entrance. Nursing her drink. And then...Ianto comes into the place. Spots Gwen across the room. Weaves his way through the tables.

And he is there. Slipping into his seat. Not knowing what to say.

"Thanks for coming out." Gwen says softly.

"Neutral ground. What's up?"

Gwen stares evenly. Her chin rests across the back of her knuckles. She looks tired, but okay. Fuelled by adrenaline. "Jack called. He says you're checking out... Of the Heartbreak Hotel."

The waitress appears. Ianto too locked into the moment to notice. So...

"He likes a Stolie, no ice." Gwen informs the woman.

Ianto softly agrees "Double."

As the woman leaves Gwen asks "What's this about? Because we fought?"

"Don't flatter yourself." Ianto snorts, then a beat "I always liked that line." Sighs. "I love Jack, I love the children. But there is more to life than even love..."

"No, there isn't." Gwen argues.

"And I have looked down the road." Ianto continues "At what my life will be. And I can't handle it."

Gwen unblinking. Focused, strong. "What do you see? Down that road."

No answer. Then... "I never wanted to be a parent. Then, sharing it with you was one thing. Carrying it alone, the rest of my life..."

Gwen nods "Is scary. But you want it. Gimme some truth here."

The Stolie arrives. They wait a beat. The waitress disappears. Ianto shrugs "Well, it's the John F Kennedy Syndrome, huh? You die young, you always look golden. Perfect. The memory kind of burnishes the image, and..."

Gwen laughs at him "Come on, a wuss like me? The stiff who wouldn't help her own daughter fight back?"

"Maybe I was wrong on that one."

That sits there. In its sincerity. Gwen can't have that "Well, maybe you weren't."

And so does that. Tears are forming in Ianto's eyes. Here, in this public place.

"Look, when I said I couldn't channel you. That didn't mean I wouldn't give my right arm to do just that." Shakes his head. "Maybe I don't want to be looking over my shoulder. Every day for twenty years. Knowing someone else would have done it right. The way I can't."

Gwen waits. Thinks. "Trade you a smoke. For a secret."

The way she said that. Something weighty behind it. So Ianto reaches into his pocket.

"You know, I lost Owen awhile back? In a supermarket."

Ianto's hand freezes. In mid-course. "You're lying."

"I lost him. I was panicked."

"You are lying, you never lost that kid for 4 seconds, you could find him from a coma, there is no WAY!" Ianto shakes his head, leaning back to show his annoyance.

Gwen smiles "I was running around like a chicken with my head chopped off. Doing my imitation of you."

Ianto still not buying... "Owen never mentioned it."

"He only remembers I found him. My point is, telling you this story would have been the kindest, most helpful thing I could ever have done for you." The smile fades. "Why didn't I?"

"Uh. You hate my guts?" Ianto sing-songs, passing the cigarettes over.

"We were competing. Even then. Yes we were. Instead of being partners. Watching each other's back. Seeing things were covered." Gwen admits. Pulls out a smoke. Offers the pack "You're not scared you'll think you don't measure up. You're scared they'll think it. That's the JFK thing, yeh?"

Ianto takes one. Eye contact holding. "With good reason. They fucking worship you as it is."

"What do I have that you don't?"

Ianto laughs as he waves a hand up and down in front of her "Everything. You're...the Earth Mother incarnate..."

"You're the hip and fresh."

"You ride with Toshiko..."

"You'll learn."

"You know every story, every wound, every memory, their whole life's happiness has been wrapped up in you, every moment..." Ianto pauses, his pain now raw to see. God. He loves these kids, is already mourning them. For them.

"I have their past." Gwen agrees, strikes the match. "You. Have their future."

Ianto stunned. By the simplicity of it all. Slowly, he leans to accept Gwen's flame.

"Don't you get it?" she sighs wistfully "You look down the road to her wedding. You're in the room alone with her, fitting her veil, fluffing her dress. Telling her no woman was ever that beautiful." Tears now. Starting in two pairs of eyes "And your fear is. She'll be thinking. I wish Mom were here."

Gwen pauses and lights her own. "And mine is. She won't."

Her hand trembles as she takes a drag. "Now that's enough fear for either one of us to kill the other. And no jury in the world would convict."

Gwen raises her glass. "We're guilty, boyo. Of being human. And we can't forgive ourselves."

Holds it forward. In a toast. "But I forgive you."

And slowly, Ianto lifts his own glass.

CLICKS it with Gwen's.

"Don't rush me." He finally sighs "I'm deciding."