18
Family and friends are leaving the wake, exiting the softly-lit chapel into a snowy night. They are saying goodbyes, kissing one another, going to their cars. And saying his last goodbye...Ianto turns to Jack.
Whispers, close to his ear. He looks at him for a beat, then leads Toshiko and Owen toward the car, as...Ianto goes back into the chapel.
Alone.
The room is nearly dark. One soft spot plays on a simple Casket. No canned organ music, no sound at all. As Ianto enters. he goes to the casket. Stares down at it for a beat. And just above a whisper "See, I told you I'd do this. Only...Only. Now I don't know what to say."
His hand reaches out. A finger absently traces the edge of the wood. It seems a gesture of unconscious affection. "You'd have written it down, so you wouldn't blow it."
A slight smile. Here's where the love shows. "Maybe we should change places."
Nods slightly. Maybe we should. He takes a step back now, to a waiting chair. Sits. His hands folded in his lap. Thinks. "Well. We were less than friends, I guess. And more."
More.
"We were never...girlfriends, we never dished. That wasn't... What we had."
No apology there. It's just the truth. "We had some battles, man, they were...world class, huh?"
"And I don't regret a one of them." Sad little shrug. "I miss them."
Thinking. Of how much more he'll miss. "We've got our secrets, we have. And I'll keep 'em if you will."
Crosses his arms. Lost in the moment. "But I wish we had one more night. In that little bar, remember? Remember that toast?"
"Sure, you do." His voice wavers. But the eyes are dry. "Know what? I forgive me, too. See? You're the magician."
A murmur "Don't worry, partner, I've got your back. We're covered."
It's what he came to say.
.
.
.
.
Lights and music and laughter. They're in black tie tonight. It's a wedding party. Up on the stage, at the head table, some guy is finishing a toast, and as everyone ROARS and CLAPS... "...so TO THE BRIDE! Thank GOD more than he deserves!"
Everybody shouts THE BRIDE. Everybody drinks champagne.
And the 'bride' stands up. In his white suit. In his hand, an envelope. he goes to the mike, and waits for the raucous cheers, the calls of SPEECH!, to die down. Calls to the man "I swear to God John, call me that one more time and I will shove my fist so far down your throat…"
Peals of laughter.
Ianto leans to the mike. Flushed and happy. And, oddly, nervous. "Now I know the tradition, so this isn't a toast. At least...not for me. According to Fuckface Hart I am a bride!"
More screams of mirth.
"The guest list is 114. But we all know there's one more here, tonight. Because..." Looks down the table at his children. Dressed to kill. Enjoying the party. "...my two sidekicks there always bring her along. Wherever they go."
Right? Right.
"So Gwen and I were sitting around. On New Year's Eve. And she said, 'You're not gonna talk at my funeral, are you?'" And now. It is quiet indeed. "And I said, 'I've never been to a funeral. I'm not sure I'll know how to act...'"
His sweet smile. Keeps the mood right.
"...but I'll prob'ly sneak into where you are. Just before it's over...' you know, before you go off to become crispy" Nods to himself. Fights back the feeling of that moment. "'...say something. Just to you. Get the last word in, when you can't talk back.'"
There is laughter in this room. Gentle, loving.
"So she says, 'No way.'" Holds up the envelope. Holds it tight. "She wrote this. She sealed it up, I didn't see it. She made me promise to read it. At the wedding."
And slowly, Jack begins to CLAP. And others join. And when it stops Ianto takes a deep breath and sighs "I told her she'd better make it dirty, or make it funny. Because...no way...on my wedding...No way in hell. ...could she make me cry."
APPLAUSE.
They are loving it.
"She says, 'It's a deal'."
The band plays an impromptu FLOURISH. Ianto begins to carefully tear open the envelope "Now, if it's too raunchy, we may have to excuse the kids..."
SHOUTS from everyone, ESPECIALLY the children.
He has it open.
He looks at it.
And everything.
Stops.
The world watches him sway, watches his eyes fill as he stares at the small card in his hand. He can't believe this... mouths to himself "Damn it Gwen. You promised."
The tears are welling. Everyone SCREAMS for him to read it. He leans to the mike, shaking his head "It's...no big thing, really... it's just...five words, it's..."
The place goes happily UP FOR GRABS.
A joyful RIOT of demand.
Tears streaming now as Ianto fumbles to pull up his white Jacket from the back of the chair. As he puts the card in the inside pocket to keep it safe, we alone can read the words...
OUR BABIES ARE SO LUCKY.
END