So this behemoth of a story comes from Ms. Swift's oldie "The Story of Us" and me prepping for two things - the arrival of Peter Stone and what that means for Barba and the possibility of Raul leaving, even if for a short time, due to his comments about going back to Broadway sooner than people think. Those things paired with this song turned into this crazy long one shot.

This is looking like a contest
Of who can act like they care less
But I liked it better when you were on my side
The battle's in your hands now
But I would lay my armor down
If you'd say you'd rather love than fight
So many things that you wish I knew

-Taylor Swift (The Story of Us)

She sat on her bed, listening to Lucy and Noah in the living room getting ready for their big night together. A lot had changed in the last 6 months. With Noah being in school more, Lucy had moved on to other families, so it had been a few weeks since she had been over to see them both. She looked down at her clasped hands. 6 months. Because of her ego and pride and basic need for convincing others she could go it all alone, it had been 6 months.

She found him staring out his window. She set the cups of coffee on his desk and walked up to him, standing shoulder to shoulder with him.

"Barba."

He sighed, never breaking his gaze from the street in front of them. "Peter Stone is coming to town. Cutter told me this morning."

"Stone?"

"Ben Stone's son. Remember him?" Olivia just nodded. "He's moving from Chicago. Cutter gave him the executive job." Olivia closed her eyes for a moment. The executive ADA job was something they had all kind of counted on him getting. "I'm sorry."

He nodded, finally looking at her. "This is as far as I go in Manhattan. Cutter laid it all out for me. I can appreciate him at least having that much respect for me and my service. But after Ashtonja and the suspension, I'm slightly damaged goods. This office… this is as far as I go."

She was about to reply, but his body language and the look on his face told her there was more.

"I didn't want to tell you like this" he said, turning toward her fully. "There's an offer out of Albany. A statewide task force. They finally got it all funded and set up and they want me to come up there and help run it. Between my knowledge of law and my time here working with SVU… I can make a real difference up there. Help pass meaningful laws that you all can use here to help the victims we see every day."

She felt like she had been punched. Leaving. He was leaving. All she could hear in her head was that he was walking away… from her… just like everyone else.

"I can't believe you are letting Peter Stone run you out of Manhattan. I can't believe you are just going to leave… us… high and dry" she spit out, stumbling over us when she really wanted to say 'me'. Her brain was in flight mode. She couldn't even stop herself.

"Olivia, you know it's not like that. But I'm done here. I'm stuck."

"Well, I'm sorry that my team and I are so awful to work with that we make you feel stuck. I apologize for that."

"Stop it, Liv. You know that's not what I meant."

"Go to Albany. Good luck. Let me know if this one manages to get off the ground. All the rest of these so-called task forces flamed out in weeks."

"Those task forces didn't have me, Liv."

"Like you make a difference."

His eyes flared wide and she knew she had crossed a line. Not just crossed it. Sprinted across it, leaving it in her dust.

"You should go, Olivia, before we both say something we don't mean."

"Since when do either one of us say things we don't mean."

"Get the hell out of my office, Lieutenant."

"With pleasure, Counselor." She turned on her heel, walking as fast as she could to the elevator. It wasn't until she was inside, doors closing, that the weight of her words and what she had actually said to him hit her, crushing her like a ton of bricks, unable to stop the tears from rolling down her face.

She stared at the dress she was supposed to wear tonight. She wanted nothing more than to avoid this evening. She retreated into herself after her meltdown in his office. Which was now empty, waiting on Stone to assign a new ADA to it. He left. She couldn't even bring herself to go to his going away party. It hurt too much, knowing that he was leaving and she struggled to reconcile that in her brain. She had beat the back the feelings for him for so long that she couldn't let them out. She couldn't let him know. And then he was gone. And now it was 6 months later and he would be there. Tonight. A night that the governor and the mayor wanted to celebrate the success of the task force. He had been right – he was making a difference. They were using everything he gave them and it was making a difference in court and in pleas, across the board.

He adjusted his bowtie in the mirror, wondering how tonight would play out. The dreams he had been having over the last two weeks were driving him crazy.

"Carmen, do you have the final list for the dinner in Manhattan in two weeks?"

"I do, Mr. Barba. Looking forward to getting back down there?" He shrugged, trying not to think about why he had been avoiding the place over the last 6 months, only going when forced and then never staying more than a night. His mother never let him hear the end of it, but she had calmed some when he said he would be staying for three nights and that he would absolutely meet her for church and brunch on the weekend.

Carmen rolled her eyes at her boss, placing the list down in front of him. She had heard the whole fight. She had been there, pleading with him to go talk to her before he left. But it all fell on deaf ears. So, she quit trying. Until now. She waited, watching his eyes skim the list, seeing who he needed to make sure he talked to and who he wanted to avoid, until he hit her name.

"Olivia" he breathed out. He shot his eyes up to Carmen. "When…"

"Yesterday. Chief Dodds RSVP'ed on her behalf, as she has been, apparently, avoiding the invitation that had been sitting on her desk for a month. Wonder why?"

"Don't start."

"You are ridiculous and I hope your mother rips you a new one tonight."

"Thanks for your unwavering support, Carmen."

"My pleasure, Mr. Barba."

Since seeing her name on that list, she was all he had been able to think about. And he didn't know what to do. They hadn't spoken in 6 months. His ego and pride had kept him from picking up the phone. He wasn't wrong. He made the right move. This dinner, this night of celebration and recognition had proven that to everyone, but he still felt hesitation at even being here, in Manhattan. Like he was treading some place he didn't belong anymore.

She smoothed down her dress, standing at the bottom of the steps, bending the seating card in her hand, being unsure what to do. Grab a drink? Find her table? Run home and deal with the wrath of Dodds on Monday? The latter was starting to sound better and better.

"That's a hell of dress" she heard from behind her. She turned and smiled. "Carmen."

"Seriously, Lieutenant. You have that just lying around?"

Olivia looked down at her dark green dress, hanging just below her knees. "A sales lady cornered me at a low moment last week and somehow convinced me that I needed this."

Carmen smiled. "Well, you look amazing and the color…" she trailed off, smiling wryly at Olivia, staring at her. Olivia felt her face flush slightly and she looked away. "I think… I'm going to try to find my table."

"What number are you at?"

Olivia looked at the crumpled card in her hand. "6" she replied. Carmen just nodded, pressing her lips together. "Well, then. Have a good time. Maybe I will see you later."

Olivia watched the younger woman walk away and she headed off to find her table. She stood there, staring at her table, trying to really decide if she was going to sit down or run when

"Looks like we are table mates for the night". She froze. His voice. 6 months of radio silence and there it was. Smooth and warm, like home. She turned and met the green eyes she hadn't realized she had missed so much till this moment. And there he stood, looking handsome as ever, in his tux and bowtie. The way his eyes crinkled as he gave her a genuine smile made her heart beat double time.

"Hi" she breathed out.

"Hi" he replied, taking a step toward her. Her mouth froze. She had no clue what to say. What to do. All she could do was stare at him, try to memorize his face. 6 months. It felt like yesterday and forever all at the same time.

He reached around her and pulled out a chair. "I think this shindig is getting ready to start" he said, motioning her to take the chair. She sat down and looked up at him. "Care if I take this one?" he asked, cautiously, motioning to the chair next to her.

"Please" she exhaled. He sat down and she could feel the warmth coming off his body and the scent of his aftershave invading her senses. She wondered if she would ever be able to smell anything else again. Dinner was served and the program was presented, but she doesn't remember a moment of it. She remembered the way his fingers lightly gripped the glass of scotch he was drinking. She remembered the way he gracefully waved to the room when he was recognized as spearheading several of the new bills that would change the way victims were treated during the course of investigations and trials throughout the state. She remembered his smile as he laughed at some silly joke someone else at the table told. Soon, everyone started to get up to mingle again. He turned toward her, leaning on his elbow, invading her personal space.

"How's Noah?" he asked. All this time. Misunderstandings and anger and hidden feelings and he asked about her son. How could she have ever doubted him?

"Great. He loves school and he's started playing baseball with a few friends. He's a pretty good catcher."

"Maybe I'll try to catch a game some time."

"He would love that. You have no idea."

He cleared his throat, staring at her as he grabbed his drink, taking a sip. That look in his eyes… it had been so long and she didn't realize how much she missed it. How much she missed him. This moment. Right now. The fight needed to be over. She opened her mouth to say something… literally anything but before she could…

"Barba!" They both looked over to see Peter Stone waving at them, motioning for him to join the group he was talking to. Barba looked back at her. She was wondering how much trouble she would get in for shooting the exec ADA at a charity function. He smiled slightly at the table, dropping his drink down. "Duty calls" he said, pushing out of his chair. He took a step and turned back to her. "Liv, it was really great to see you. Like really great. You don't…" he trailed off, running his eyes over her. "Just… it was great spending this hour with you. And that dress looks amazing on you." And with that, he was gone, crossing the room to hobnob with everyone who wanted a moment with the man of the hour. Olivia just spent minutes watching him criss cross the room, shaking hands and taking his victory lap. She turned and stared at her wine glass, running her finger tips along the top. She finally lost sight of him and figured that was for the best. She started to gather her things when she felt a hand on her arm.

"You need to go talk to him" Rita said, coming into her line of view. Olivia opened her mouth but Rita held her hand up. "No, seriously, Olivia. You need to go talk to him. You two… I don't even know. He's been a surly son of a bitch the last 6 months but tonight he's all smiles and Mr. Personality. And trust me, it's not because he's the man of the hour. He got a new tux because he saw you would be here tonight. And that dress is no laughing matter." Rita patted her on the arm and was gone just as quickly as she had arrived. Olivia scanned the room but there was no sign of him. So, to her, that was a sign. She gathered her things and left before anyone noticed.

She found him standing at the window on the landing, looking out on the city like he had 6 months ago when her life seemed to fall apart. She froze. He turned and met her eyes.

"Leaving?" he asked as she slowly approached him.

"Yeah, I thought I would just go ahead and go since…" but she lost the words. He stepped into her and that scent was overpowering. The battle she had been waging for 6 months… hell, for almost 6 years, just fell apart in her head.

"Since what, Liv?"

"Since I couldn't find you."

"I'm right here" he said, pushing further into her personal space.

"I'm sorry" she breathed out, tears springing to her eyes. She felt him grab her hand, squeezing it tightly.

"No, Liv. I'm sorry. I should have…" She just shook her head. "No, it was me. I refused to acknowledge or… I refused to come out the night you left because I was mad and angry and refusing to see that…"

"I know" he whispered. She could feel his breath on her face. "I didn't want to see it either, Liv. But then you are here and you are in that dress and you… you are all I can see." And it was done – the fighting, the pretending, the deflecting… it was over. She finished it by weaving her fingers into his hair, pulling his lips into hers. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, pouring everything he had thought and felt since left 6 months ago into that kiss. He ripped his lips off of hers, pressing kisses up and down her neck as she held on to him for dear life. Because he was her life. She could see that now. He was always going to break down her walls. It wasn't a matter of if, it was a matter of when.

He finally pulled back just enough to look at her. She smiled and wiped her finger across his mouth. "I think that color looks better on me than you." He waggled his eyebrows at her. "Probably, but you better believe I'm glad to be the reason you have to reapply your lipstick." She smiled widely at him.

"When do you have to go back to Albany?"

"I don't. I can have an office in Manhattan, now that the task force is up and running. I just… well, I've just been avoiding coming here."

"I'm sorry that…" but he quieted her with a light press of his lips to hers. "No. We are done apologizing, Liv. Done. I was an ass and you were a hot head and we know that about each other. Stubborn should be our middle names." She laughed. "Agreed." She raked her nails over the nape of his neck. "Come back, Rafael. Please. I miss you so much."

He glanced over his shoulder, spying a darkened corner. "Liv, you are going to get so sick of me with as much as I'm going to be around" he said, slowly walking her back to the wall.

"I doubt that is possible" she replied, pulling him flush against her body, moaning quietly into his mouth as he assaulted her lips once more.