Chapter 4. Nightmares

Suzu

Suzaku stalked through the orangery, his head spinning with anger and denial. This was some kind of strange nightmare. It had to be. He just needed to make his way out of it. He needed to wake up, break free out of the hold of these... things that were keeping him captive, and go back to Euphie. Go back to the SAZ. Find her there, keep her safe.

Find Lelouch too, and make sure he didn't do anything stupid.

A familiar voice reached his ears as he struggled to find a path that would lead him out of his hellish place. "Suzaku. Suzaku, wait!"

Suzaku didn't really want to wait or speak to any version of Lelouch. While he could not believe everything these creatures were telling him, he could no longer deny the fact that Lelouch was Zero.

Or... Could he?

Maybe that was the key to the whole story. When he had been at Narita, that green-haired girl had managed to somehow make all sort of nightmarish images flash through his mind. Sure, there had been his father... But there had also been other things, things that had not been real, but had terrified him regardless. Maybe this was similar, and only a nightmare created by his foolish suspicions.

Lelouch wasn't Zero. And even if he had been, he would never hurt Euphie. Lelouch had never spoken about his other siblings, but even so and no matter how much he hated Britannia, he could not have lashed out at someone like Euphie, who was so kind-hearted and pure. That went against everything Lelouch himself stood for, against the reason for his promise. Right?

Yes, Lelouch was his friend. He would never do such things.

Yes, this was all a bad dream and nothing more.

Somewhat more relieved, Suzaku slowed down. Lelouch caught up with him faster than expected. "Are you all right?" he asked.

Suzaku smiled at him, now feeling stupid for having run off like that. "Yes. Well, sort of. I'm pretty sure this is a crazy dream, something that green-haired girl created. It has to be. Zero or not, you'd never hurt Euphie. I believe that."

"Thanks," Lelouch replied, although he still looked troubled. "I don't... I don't know what is going on either. When your other self showed up, I was convinced that we were dead. That we'd died in Shinjuku. If they're to be believed, we did die... But later... I just don't know."

They sat together on the grass, in the shade of a tree. The remaining tension inside Suzaku started to dissipate. Lelouch leaned against his shoulder, and on a whim, Suzaku reached out to entwine their fingers. "What do you suppose this is about then?"

"Well... I swore I would obliterate Britannia. But that doesn't mean I wasn't afraid of what it would mean, on some level. That I'd have to hurt people I cared about.

"I do love Euphie. I mean, she's very important to me, and we were very close when I lived in Pendragon. This will sound weird but..." He laughed lightly. "She's probably the first girl I ever loved."

"I guess incest isn't that uncommon in the Britannian imperial family?" Suzaku joked. He wasn't sure how he felt about the confession. Jealous? Of whom? Of Lelouch? Of Euphie? Did it matter?

God, he was confused.

"No, it's not," Lelouch admitted, squeezing his hand. "And it was probably never like that between us. But... Anyway... The last thing I would want is to hurt her. So maybe that's what this is, a manifestation of my fear."

Except that would mean that Suzaku was a figment of Lelouch's imagination, and he definitely wasn't. Or well... He didn't feel like it.

Did figments of imagination have feelings of their own? Who knew? Maybe they did.

"This is complicated," he said. "Can we not talk about it any longer? I think we've already established what matters—which is the fact that you'd never do what those creatures said you would."

Lelouch nodded. "I agree. I suppose our real priority would be finding a way out before they come after us."

"I find it really amusing that you think they're the real problem," a different voice said.

Suzaku and Lelouch both shot to their feet. They turned, only to see yet another Suzaku emerge from the shadows.

He was wearing something entirely different, an ornate white and gold costume that reminded Suzaku himself of the Lancelot's color scheme. The red accents on the peculiar earring the wore, as well as the bright gemstone on his sword, reminded Suzaku a bit of Lancelot—well, of the Suzaku who had decided on that name for himself.

Despite this, there was something about this particular Suzaku that was more unnerving than any of the others they had met before.

His eyes... His eyes looked wrong. They weren't green, like Suzaku's own. Instead, they were... sort of red, branded... Like the eyes of the Lelouchs.

Was this another manifestation of the nightmare?

"Where the hell did you come from?" he asked. "Who are you?"

"I'm you, of course," the other Suzaku replied. "Well, in a way. But if you want to use a name for me, I'm rather fond of the White Reaper."

The White Reaper? Was that supposed to be some kind of play upon words? A reference to the Grim Reaper?

Either way, it was not encouraging.

"Lelouch, stay behind me," he said, shielding Lelouch with his own body. "I don't know what this thing is, but it could hurt you."

The creature laughed. "Really? You're going there? Have you already forgotten, Suzu, that you tried to kill your friend while you were well aware that he could be the one hiding behind the mask?"

Suzaku froze. He knew exactly what the Reaper was referring to, but... It wasn't true. He was wrong. "I... I didn't... I didn't know..."

"Of course you did." The Reaper smirked. "You saw the mask when it was on Arthur's head. But you told yourself you'd seen wrong, because it was easier, easier to deny it, so that you could go on your merry way without acknowledging Lelouch was doing something he wasn't supposed to.

"And of course... Then, when you received the orders to kill Zero on Kaminejima, you rushed to obey them. You would've happily ended both his life, and your own, just so that you could keep your head buried in the sand.

"He is Zero, you know, and half the reason why he picked up that mask was to save your life and bring freedom to your country. But you spat in his face when he extended you his hand, because you were too cowardly to do what it took."

Suzaku's head started to spin. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. No, he hadn't... The only thing he had wanted was to do good. To bring peace. To help. He hadn't...

Lelouch wasn't Zero. He couldn't be, and Suzaku couldn't have hurt him.

His knees went weak and he dropped down to the ground, no longer able to face the creature wearing his face. "I... I..."

Lelouch's familiar, beloved voice snapped right through his trance. "Stop it!" he shouted. "Stop speaking!"

"How nostalgic. Unfortunately, your Geass has long ago stopped working on me, sweetheart. But the effort is still appreciated."

With the corner of his eye, Suzaku caught sight of the Reaper making a grab for Lelouch. Just like that, something inside him seemed to shatter. He shot to his feet and lunged toward at his other self.

He would not allow the Reaper to hurt Lelouch. Over his dead body.

The Reaper smirked, as if he could read Suzaku's mind. "That can be arranged."

Julius

Lelouch didn't know how long he and his Suzaku ambled through the orangery. They didn't seem to be getting anywhere, and it was frustrating him to no end.

It certainly didn't help that, the more time passed, the more he was questioning the validity of his previous plan of action.

Was he really doing the right thing by simply going to help Suzu and Lulu? In the end, what did he care about them anyway? If anything, he should be focusing on himself and Suzaku, instead of on their younger selves.

"Suzaku, wait," he called out.

In front of him, Suzaku stopped and turned, shooting him an alarmed look. "What is it? Everything all right?"

Lelouch eyed Suzaku's earnest face, considering his approach. He still believed in Suzaku's old mantra—that the two of them could do anything together. But would he be willing to try something like this?

There was one way to find out.

"Listen," he said, "I think that by now, we've all realized that we, the younger selves, are in some way, artificial constructs. Creations of Geass. I don't know what could've occurred when Shestal summoned my older self's soul, but if what Zerozaku says is right, I might have a body waiting for me as well. But that's just it... There'll only be one body, just like there'll only be one body for you as well. And these bodies don't rightfully belong to us, because we are artifacts of the past and we shouldn't exist in the first place."

"What are you suggesting?" Suzaku asked, looking at him with keen, green eyes.

"I think you know," Lelouch said, cupping Suzaku's cheek gently. "We can still make our way out of here. We can still have a future together. It's not too late." He refused to give up. He would never give up. For him, for Suzaku, he had to continue to fight, no matter what he had to do.

Suzaku's breath caught. Lelouch smiled at him. "Will you be my knight now, Sir Kururugi? Will you join me, so that we can have something new and real together?"

His heart was hammering. He'd always wanted this. Even when he had been making plans to ask Suzaku to be Nunnally's knight, in his heart, Lelouch had always wanted Suzaku for himself. And he refused to deny it any longer.

Fortunately, Suzaku didn't leave him waiting. He dropped to his knee and bowed his head in the perfect posture of a Britannian knight, the same one he had used to pledge allegiance to Euphie and Charles in those two anomalous knighthoods that never should have happened.

"Yes," Suzaku said. "Yes, I will. From this moment henceforth, until death take me, I vow to be the sword and shield of Lelouch vi Britannia and protect him from all threats, as his knight." He looked up, took Lelouch's hand and kissed it. "So that we can have something new and real together."

His green eyes held so much emotion that Lelouch could not help himself. Even if he knew he really shouldn't be pursuing the attraction between him and Suzaku at that particular instant, he knelt next to Suzaku and crushed his mouth to that of his new knight.

He'd denied his feelings for Suzaku for so long, and judging by what he'd seen of his other selves, that hadn't changed much after he'd recovered his memory. Despite being well aware of his feelings, he had done nothing to pursue them. Considering that Suzaku had pretty much hated him at the time, it made sense, but now, they were no longer in that situation, and Lelouch couldn't help but take advantage of this moment, the moment he'd craved for what seemed like an age.

Suzaku kissed him back with that very same desperation. His tongue explored Lelouch's mouth almost savagely, and his grip on Lelouch was just as tight as it had been in the past, when he'd nearly choked Lelouch in an Euro-Britannian cell.

It couldn't last, as they were both much too aware of their less than ideal circumstances. When they parted their lips, Lelouch finally remembered to respond to Suzaku's heartfelt vow.

"I now dub thee, Sir Suzaku Kururugi, Knight of Lelouch vi Britannia."

Suzaku laughed breathlessly against his lips. "You have an interesting approach to knighting."

"Any complaints?" Lelouch asked, squeezing Suzaku's erect dick through the material of his tailored uniform.

"None whatsoever," Suzaku groaned. "Oh, God... Can we... We should..."

Ugh. "Yeah. I really, really want to blow you, but we'll just have to do that once we're out and free." Really, it was a bit of a sin that he had yet to give Suzaku a blow job. Soon, he told himself. Soon.

Suzaku's pupils were glazed, but he didn't protest the approach. He adjusted himself in his pants as he got up and took a deep breath, gathering his composure. "Sounds like a plan, Your Highness."

Now in agreement, the two of them returned to the matter at hand. The other Suzakus and Lelouchs already had a head start because Lelouch and Suzaku had wasted time with their self-indulgent behavior, but that didn't mean they were out of the game just yet.

Of course, they still had no idea where they were actually supposed to go, so they picked a direction pretty much at random, different from the one they'd been going in before.

"What will we do if some of the others find the way out first?" Suzaku asked.

Lelouch considered the question carefully. "Well, I suppose it depends on the true nature of this space. If I'm right and this is a sort of multiple personality thing, the fact that someone other than us takes over our bodies doesn't mean we can't necessarily make the attempt to claim said bodies ourselves."

He half-expected his knight to show some degree of resistance to the suggestion. When he had been in Euro-Britannia, he'd never protested to Lelouch's plans, but their mental states had been different at the time.

However, Suzaku did not seem inclined to back out of their deal now. If anything, he seemed relieved to have a plan and completely set on his mission.

It was kind of hot and Lelouch was very tempted to thrown his previous decision out the window, pull Suzaku into a bush and have his knight fuck him right then and there. But as much as that thought appealed, he'd have time aplenty to get down and dirty with Suzaku, once they were out in the real world and the threat was removed. It grated on Lelouch to admit it, but his older self had been right about this. They had to prioritize. Even if one of said priorities involved destroying/defeating their future/past selves.

Of course, Lelouch should have known better than to think any plan he came up with would not blow up in his face. The path they were on suddenly ended, and they came upon something that looked like a twisted mimicry of the Grand Duke's palace in St. Petersburg.

In the center of the courtyard, on the edge of the massive, ornate fountain, sat a familiar man. His fingers trailed over the water in an absent-minded manner. He looked up when Suzaku and Lelouch appeared in his line of sight, not seeming in the least bit surprised upon their appearance.

"It's kind of funny to see that ruthless approach in someone other than me. I approve."

The man in question was yet another rendition of Lelouch, but he was dressed in something entirely different than the other selves—personalities—they had met. He was wearing an elaborate, black ensemble, with wide sleeves and a neckerchief that far surpassed the one he'd worn during his time as Zero. His ear was adorned with a silver earring that curled around the lobe. A massive amethyst dangled from its lower half, much like the one that Lelouch himself had worn of his eyepatch. It matched the elaborate ring the other Lelouch wore on his finger, as well as the huge stone adorning the sword on his hip.

The stranger's eyes were in their natural, purple state, but Lelouch suspected it wasn't because the Geass was in its incipient form, like Lulu's situation.

Well, the only way to find out was to ask. "Do you really?" he asked. "I'd feel flattered, but I can't truly do that when I believe we haven't really met."

"Indeed, we have not," the other Lelouch said, jumping off the edge of the fountain. "But I didn't really think it was a necessity."

The amused little smirk on his lips made realization dawn for Lelouch. "Are you the one in control of this whole place? Are you keeping us trapped here?"

"Good guess," his mysterious, black-clad self said. His silver-tipped boots made an almost threatening sound as he walked forward. "Yes, I'm the one keeping you here. Not that you've been very appreciative of my efforts. Sad thing, that. I was sort of counting on you distracting these ones with an orgy."

"Well, as much as that thought appeals, you know I've never been crazy about the idea of being manipulated," Lelouch replied bitingly.

"True. It's honestly a little sad that Zerozaku is doing a better job than you. But I suppose I should've known better than to expect anything different. We always were so very contrary. You in particular. Yes, I should've known better than to expect to control you."

Normally, Lelouch would have been intrigued by the Zerozaku part of the comment—and a part of him still was—but he had other, more important things to worry about. Such as the possible, imminent danger to his existence.

Suzaku had the same idea. "Wait a minute," he piped up. "Back up. Who are you, exactly, and why are you doing this?"

"I'm many things. Lelouch vi Britannia, the Demon Emperor. But these days, I go by L.L. As for why I'm doing this... Well, those reasons are my own. You don't really need to know."

As he spoke, the threatening aura around him increased to such extents it made goosebumps rise over Lelouch's skin. Suzaku must've sensed it as well—maybe his Geass was telling him something was wrong—because he went rigid. "I think this is where we run."

Without further ado, he grabbed Lelouch and draped him over his shoulder. He took off the same way they'd come, dashing through the orangery without looking back.

Lelouch heard a bout of delighted laughter echoing behind them, and that didn't fill him with much confidence at all. He now wished he truly had been Lelouch's dark side, as his Suzaku had suggested earlier, if only because it would've meant they wouldn't have run into said personality.

Instinctively, Lelouch knew an escape on foot wouldn't work. They needed some other way, some method that would help them put more distance between themselves and the obviously more powerful L.L.

Just as Lelouch thought this, something strange happened. All of a sudden, they—or rather Suzaku—burst through the treeline and ran into an unexpected sight.

It was... a railway. It sort of reminded Lelouch of the time he and Suzaku had taken the train to St. Petersburg, but at the same time, it was very different.

A strange wagon rolled in even as Lelouch watched. Suzaku didn't hesitate. He simply jumped on it. While the exact nature of the wagon was dubious and its appearance suspicious, the fact remained that they needed all the help they could get.

Unfortunately, the 'train' they were on only bought them a minute, if that. Lelouch didn't see the projectile that hit the wagon they were on. Maybe it wasn't a projectile at all, and simply a shock wave of some kind. Either way, the wagon went of the rail and the two of them went flying in two different directions.

Suzaku landed on the right side of the tracks, whereas Lelouch hit the ground with a painful thud on the left.

His head was spinning, and he groaned as he tried to gather his bearings and get up. The moment his vision started to clear, he almost wished it hadn't.

L.L. knelt by his side, a small smirk on his lips. "That was cute. Well done. Unfortunately, as much as you try, you can never beat me here." He tapped his lower lip, as if considering something. "But I suppose I should give you a prize, for making the attempt."

Lelouch's eyes widened as his other self pulled him in for a kiss. He knew he should be protesting. He knew he should be fighting back in some way. In the background, he could hear his knight crying out.

But his other self's lips were soft and strangely gentle against his and their minds connected in a way Lelouch did not expect. Flashes slid through Lelouch's memory, images of a future he only knew from the stories the others had told him.

And there was something else, something no one had ever said, the true answer behind their predicament.

When L.L. pulled away, Lelouch's mind was swirling with his new knowledge. He wanted to ask more questions, but he didn't get the chance.

He blinked, and just like that, L.L. vanished, and the landscape around them morphed into something entirely different.

By the time Suzaku ran to Lelouch's side, the walls of their cell from Euro-Britannia had already risen around them. Well, wasn't this just great?

For reference, L.L. and the Reaper are wearing this:
/news/59c4c835aa275fef744612a4/Code-Geass-Lelouch-and-Suzaku-Back-to-Back-in-G-E-M-Figure!