After his mom made him take a shower, Barry grabbed a couple pokeballs. Of course leaving stupid monkey/infernape at home. Why did he even pick that garbage starter? Anyways, he took his staraptor, floatzel and best bro snorlax. And then he was off to the pokemon league… kind of.

HAha Barry is a big boye= so his staraptor could hardly handle the weight. Staraptor made it until Sunyshore city before they had to crash land. Barry tried to call the stupid bird into his pokeball, but it wouldn't go. "Oh trying to play dead you stupid shit? That;s the last time I givee you supper." Staraptor fucking died. A couple of pelipper pulled up to pick at it's carcass, but barry was too busy waddling away.

Barry sent his floatzel into the water and motioned as if he was going to use surf. But the otter pokemon started to bark in fear. A pelipper fucking swallowed Staraptor whole and was choking.

"HEY put staraptor down!" It was pokeomn battle time!

Barry jumped on the pelipper and started to attempt the heimlich maneuver, but only managed to suffocate the pokemon worse. "KDKFGEFJDJGSDKFJ... PELI-SDNDFSBF," it cried. Eventually pelipper fainted from lack of good old O2 B)

"Fine if your'e going to eat my fucking staraptor, you're the new flying type," and with that he threw his balls. Well the pelipper probably wished that would be an honor. But he just threw a shitty pokeball, he's too broke to afford more. Still caught it tho.

Barry hopped onto his floatzel and pretty much forgot any of that happened. Unfortunately pelipper survived. Floatzel struggelds to keep the two of them alive. Let's face it, Barry was only good in the battle tower and now he;s pretty rusty. When Barry made it to the pokemon center before victory road, the 1,000,000th nurse joy was absolutely appauled at how fucking rancid he was. Not only him but he literally brought her a dying pelipper with a dead body stuck in its throat.

"Mew Christ don't you have any shame," she shouted at him as he plundered their help pantry for free food.

"Shame?" He looked at her somewhat cross-eyed, "Lady wtf does that even mean. Is that an SAT word or something?" He promptly shoved a whole half a sandwich in his mouth.

↜FANCY TIME PASS↝

Barry finally made it to the Elite Four. His pokemon were pummled. He lost pelipper somewhere in the cave and didn't even look back. Staraptor was alive now though, but he has to wear a cone because his ass is missing feathers. TLDR they were fucked up beyond belief.

Barry crawled up to the top. I mean did you really think he had any strength in his legs. He hasn't moved this much since that reform boot camp his parents sent him to (and he was kicked out of). That's wahy he's so fucking fat. Once he got his hands on some adderall suddenly the urge to bounce melted away.

He crawled into the league's pokemon center. Where multiple people rushed to his aid. "Good arceus sir you look gastly haha," and well he smelled like shit too. Honestly he may and or may not have shit himseld back when a golbat jumped him in victory road.

"Mommy… I WANT MY FUCKING MOMMY WHERE IS CYNTHIA!"

All of the workers backed away. One even started to dial 911. But then out from one of his shit stained pockets, Barry pulled his adoption papers. And very clearly, as a gloved nurse joy found at closer inspection, the champion Cynthia was most definitely Barry's biological mom.

Barry was given a change of clothes and a shower. The clothes were just a bit too tight. But at least he wasn't completely fucking disgusting. And the workers went to fetch cynthia. As Barry paced around his hospitalized pokemon, Cynthia made an appearance.

"Barry… Oh Arceus… Barry..?"

TILL NEXT TIME XD