"Woah!" Beerus dodged the ki blast Whis had thrown at him. "What the fuck was that?!" It hadn't been normal for sure. His senses had become well-tuned to these kinds of things, especially which blasts he should and shouldn't try to take on.

"What did you think of it?" Whis asked.

"I didn't like it!" Beerus looked behind him, seeing that the ground where it had landed has been obliterated. "But…but it was this small! How did it do that?"

"Destructive energy." Whis was suddenly right beside him, holding a ball of the purple energy. "I'm glad you could distinguish the difference so quickly."

"If it had hit me…would I have been destroyed?" Whis still did not have Beerus's absolute trust.

"No, not at that size. Perhaps it might have taken a few layers of skin, maybe less. I'm not sure how resilient you are, even if you have come a long way recently."

Beerus stared at the energy ball. "Can I…?" He held out his hand and Whis let the ball fall into Beerus's palm. "Oh…" Very carefully he let the ball roll between his hands, taking note of how it felt and behaved.

"This is what I've been trying to get you to produce. Take a good look. When you show me you can do this, you can have a day off."

Beerus laughed. "A day off? I forgot what that was. We've been training for so long I forgot that I was alive for anything else. Say, Whis, how long has it been?"

"Since the last day off? 762 days."

"Here." He gave the ball back to Whis and sat on the ground, motioning for the angel to sit with him. "I need to work on this differently to how you've been trying to get me to do it." He created his own ball of ki to work with, making it change colour, and giving the energy different frequencies.

Whis watched on, silently impressed by how much control Beerus was displaying as he toyed with the ki. Occasionally Beerus asked questions about the destructive energy, and Whis did his best to answer in a way that would help. Of course he could have gone into much more detail about the quantum physics involved, but he figured most of it would go over Beerus's head. At this point he wanted nothing more than for Beerus to crack this, knowing that Vados had managed to get Champa to do it already - not that he mentioned this fact just yet. He was saving it for if it became necessary.

Ooo

"OH, WHIS~"

The call reverberated around Beerus's cavernous room. And the call was answered in less than 30 seconds.

"Yes, my - ? Oh!" Whis was beaming as he looked up at Beerus who was sitting on his bed. "You've done it!"

Beerus was sweating as he grinned, holding the power of destruction in his palm. "Is this acceptable?"

Whis floated up to him and went to take the energy for inspection, but it dissipated on contact.

Beerus inhaled sharply. "I spent all night making that!"

"You'll get better at it, just as you have with normal ki. For that you don't have to train today; you've earnt your day off."

A serene smile crossed Beerus's face as he immediately fell back onto his pillow and curled up. "I'll spend it sleeping. Get me something good to eat for when I wake."

"Sleep well."

Ooo

"I'm absolutely starving," Beerus announced as he walked into the dining area, stomach rumbling on cue. "Whis?" He had expected the angel to be around, as he always was, but he was nowhere to be seen.

He looked at the table; empty, not even set as if breakfast was any time soon. He called out again and waited, but Whis didn't appear. Could he have gone off-planet? Why wasn't he back yet? Beerus walked through to the balcony, noticing that the sky was only just getting light. He couldn't have woken up early – not when he felt more refreshed than he had in years. Maybe Whis had let him sleep through his whole day off?

Whis wasn't here? That meant he could do something – something he wouldn't normally do because Whis was always here! He'd once had a little list of things for a time like this, but he'd forgotten much of it seeing as the times Whis was away and the times he was awake were usually mutually exclusive.

The kitchen! Whis had always forbidden him from cooking, or eating anything that had not been expressly offered. Beerus ran back inside, halting at the door. He took a moment to compose himself and try and feel for any trace of Whis on the planet. Nope. He placed a hand on the knob, expecting Whis to materialise at any moment. Slowly he pushed it open and spied the cupboard he was most interested in: Whis's personal cupboard. What was that man hiding in there?

His heart was racing as he went to open it, quickly deciding it was best to leave another door ajar as if he wasn't fully aware of what cupboard he was about to look in. There was a slight pang of guilt as he pulled it open. This was the first time he'd directly disobeyed Whis like this, not that there were many other things he'd been forbidden to do.

It was full of jars and boxes, all very beautiful and expensive-looking. Beerus reached up for the one that looked like it had some kind of red pearls in a spiral pattern on it. Another quick check that the angel was not standing right behind him. Then he opened it and discovered what he'd been forbidden to know about. The brown chunks inside didn't look appetising to him, but the aroma that filled his nostrils when he cracked open the lid suggested looks weren't everything. He brought the box closer, inhaling deeply. Should he…? How much trouble would he be in if Whis found out? Would Whis even notice one chunk gone? Shit, would he notice if Beerus placed the box back at a slightly different angle?

A sound jolted him back to his senses and he scrambled to quickly close the box and put it back in the cupboard, dashing out of the kitchen. There was no sign of Whis here, but what had made that noise? He eyed the aquarium suspiciously, wondering if one of the fish had done something. Back on the balcony he surveyed the grounds again, and there he was! Whis was casually watering the flowers he'd begun growing at the entrance.

Beerus wondered if it was a good idea to slip back into the kitchen and make sure he hadn't replaced the box in a disorderly fashion, but the idea that Whis could come up at any moment made him reconsider. Yet he could use the pretence that he was hungry – and it wasn't a lie! He had to go back. He couldn't stand waiting for Whis to realise and punish him. As quietly as he could he tip-toed back to the kitchen, and was relieved he had because he'd left the decoy cupboard open! Before closing it he quickly checked the placement of the box in Whis's cupboard, straightening it up before closing both cupboards and trying to remember which one Whis said he could snack out of.

"My lord?"

"Whis?!" His voice came out a lot higher pitched than intended; he hadn't heard the angel coming.

Whis narrowed his eyes. "What have you done?"

"I'm sorry!" Beerus blurted out, but he had had an idea come to him. "I accidentally looked in that cupboard you told me not to!" Yes, if he just owned up things would be easier. "It's been so long since I came in here…I just started at one end and…"

"Did you take anything?"

"N-no!" Thank Zeno that he hadn't had long enough to give into that temptation. "I just admired one of the boxes is all."

Whis narrowed his eyes. "I see." He'd check that momentarily. "Would you like breakfast?"

"Yes please."

Breakfast was lavish, as he'd come to expect. For a long time he said nothing, too busy stuffing his face with food.

"Are you ready to resume training?"

Beerus nodded, cheeks stuffed with eggs.

"I'd like to see you produce destructive energy again. I hope you remember how…"

"It was only last night. I remember."

Whis had a bemused look. "Yes, last night, about a year ago."

Beerus shot him a confused look. "What d'you mean?"

"You slept for a little over a year, my lord. Why else would you be up 'so early'?"

"You're pulling my leg. You don't just sleep for a year."

Whis was still smiling. "Oh, you do. I'm sure you've already begun to feel the strange sense of time one is afforded when they are ageless. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but your body clock is already very much out of sync with the rest of the world. If it's any consolation, it was probably a result of my rigorous training schedule."

"And no one came to visit me for a whole year?"

"Your brother called. I had to turn him away."

"But -!"

"You can see him any time. Vados assured me she would allow it."

Beerus sat back, wondering what other strange things would happen to him next. And what was the maximum time he would be able to sleep for? Would it one day be on the scale of decades?

Ooo

The planet they found themselves on today specialised in drinks rather than food, much to Beerus's disappointment. The establishments lining the streets were serving various kinds of alcohol, many bragging out their unique concoction, some places also sold food, and others offered accommodation. Whis chose a place for them to sit in and taste the local offerings.

"So, there's no…normal drinks?" Beerus asked.

The bartender looked confused. "This is normal? Beer, cider, larger –" He began to point out the empty glasses in front of the god.

"I mean non-alcoholic."

"Um, I can offer you some water? This is a pub, sir."

"What about tea?"

The bartender shook his head and slipped away, noticing he was being hailed by other customers.

"Is this not to your liking, my lord?"

"It's different. I've never been to a 'pub' before. It's not like alcohol was ever something we could afford. And this isn't nearly as good as the stuff Empress Hebi has been giving us."

"I figured it would be best to start you off with something light. Wine will get you drunk in no time."

Beerus scoffed. "Have I ever been drunk before?"

"Perhaps not, but you've certainly been tipsy after a couple of glasses. I always figured the food soaked up most of it."

"Hey! You!"

The bartender dashed back. "Yes, sir?"

"Is there anything to eat in here?"

From under the bar he produced a bowl of nuts which Beerus looked at with narrowed eyes.

"Is that it?"

"Y-yes." The poor man was sweating as he felt the displeasure resonating from Beerus. "There are a couple of places a few doors down that serve food." At the point he'd gladly get rid of this customer.

Whis knocked Beerus's arm playfully. "Come on, we can eat later." He turned to the bartender. "Another for me, and a mead for him please."

Beerus ate the nuts he'd been given, finding they made the mead a lot more thirst-quenching than it should have been. He had this place figured out.

"What are you drinking anyway?" Beerus asked after Whis ordered him a very strange-sounding cocktail.

"Whiskey."

"Why aren't you -?" Beerus paused. "Wait. Whis…key? Holy shit, Grand Zeno's really made a joke out of us, huh?"

"Took you long enough to realise."

Beerus couldn't help but laugh out loud, drawing the attention of the other patrons. "WHISKEY! AND BEER! Come on, that's why you ordered me beer first, right?"

"It just so happens to have the lowest alcoholic content."

"Hey, is that another joke by Zeno? Is he tryna say something about me?"

Whis shrugged. "I believe your old name provided the means to rename you as such."

"So, did Champa get a stupid name too?"

"Your brother is named after champagne, but they don't serve it here, otherwise that would have been my wine choice for you."

Beerus's eyes widened. "Are we all named after drinks?"

"Yes, my lord."

There wasn't long to ponder this development because his cocktail was served and it was a much more appealing drink than any of the others he'd been served so far. It was just a shame it was so small in comparison.

"Are you sure this is alcoholic?" Beerus asked after his first long straw-full. "Tastes too good. Like fruit juice."

"The point of a cocktail is often to make it more palatable."

At this point Beerus took over the ordering, going through most of the cocktails offered until Whis put a stop to it.

"I think that's enough for one night."

"What? But he's still got like five more I wanna try!" Beerus whined.

"What a good reason to come back then." Whis slid some money across the bar, as if to show Beerus that this was final.

The destroyer looked at the three drinks still in front of him, wondering if he should make them last a long while just to piss Whis off. Unfortunately they were too tasty and he ended up finishing them faster than intended.

Whis stood up and Beerus reluctantly got to his feet too, finding himself unbalanced and grabbing hold of Whis's arm to steady himself.

"Glad I stopped you when I did?" Whis asked smugly.

Beerus frowned and tried to walk off, but not in the straight line he'd intended, stopping by the threshold to wait for Whis. "Maybe."

To preserve Beerus's dignity on this planet, Whis made the executive decision to leave immediately. He found the destroyer clinging to his waist as they sped home, as if he didn't trust himself to keep his hand on his back.

"Whis~"

"Mm?"

"How much longer? I really need to piss."

"Ten minutes."

"That's so long! Can't you go faster?" Beerus moaned. "Say, if I piss now will there be like drops across space in a big line? A long line? So long you don't even notice it?"

"I guess that would be the outcome. Still, I request you wait until we get home."

Beerus huffed and kneaded his head into Whis's back. "Why though? No one can see us at this speed, right? Or are you worried I'll get some on you?"

"Any one of the gods could be spying on us. I am merely preserving your dignity, my lord."

With all his further whining, the final leg of the journey passed in no time, Whis landing them on the balcony so Beerus could rush inside. By the time Beerus made it back, Whis had something ready for him to eat, glad the destroyer hadn't fallen asleep somewhere in the corridor.

"What are you laughing at?" Beerus asked as he fell into his chair.

"You are quite amusing is all."

Beerus narrowed his eyes as he stuffed a roll filled with meat into his mouth. "Why aren't you drunk? You were drinking the same amount as me!"

"It's impossible."

Beerus groaned. "Can't sleep, can't get drunk, what else can't you do? Sounds like a pretty boring way to live if you ask me."

"The list of things I can't do is very short compared to what I can do. I wouldn't worry about it. Besides, the things I can't do are usually very useful in making sure that I can be the perfect attendant to you."

"Yeah, you're pretty perfect, alright." Beerus munched on, looking Whis up and down. "I just don't know how you do it. It's not even that you do everything perfectly, you look perfect while you do it too." Noticing the surprise in Whis's face he back-tracked. "I mean – you look perfect like, uh, like it's no effort to do all this shit. Never look flustered or anything. Not to say that you don't look perfect anyway, with that really symmec…" he stumbled over his words, "symmetrical face, nicely arched eyebrows and those purple lips…" Ah fuck, this wasn't back-tracking was it?

"Well, I shall take that as a compliment, thank you, Lord Beerus."

"And seeing as I've mentioned it, I might as well just ask now, are your lips naturally that colour?"

Whis leaned across the table, pressing his lips forward in a pout. "Why don't you find out?"

"Stop, you look like you're going in for a kiss." He pushed Whis back. "I want a bigger table so you can't lean over like that. And I want it made of some nice rock. This wooden one isn't to my liking anymore."

"As you wish."

Beerus let out a loud burp and got up, head spinning from the sudden change. "I'm going to bed." He began to walk off in the wrong direction.

"My lord, your room's –"

"Too far." Beerus slumped onto the sofa in the room that adjoined the dining room.

Whis sat next to his slumped form, making him sit up. "Please drink some water before you sleep." He pushed the glass into Beerus's hands, but the destroyer just held on to it. "You'll feel better for it."

Beerus frowned at it and looked up at Whis, realising the angel was going to make him drink it whether he liked it or not. He downed it and began to make himself comfortable, but realised they'd missed a very important detail in the form of cushions. Why had he agreed to throwing out all of the previous destroyer's things? Instead he laid his head on Whis's lap, finding it a suitable replacement. Oh… This was going to be a self-heating pillow too, and he very much liked the idea of that.

This was an unexpected development, but Whis didn't mind. He was glad to see Beerus was comfortable enough to sleep on him like this, but he hadn't imagined Beerus would allow such a thing when he didn't like physical contact very much.

Light snores began to seep out of the destroyer and Whis wondered if he would soon be able to slip away. As he thought his hand began to gently stroke Beerus's head of its own accord and the snores turned to a faint purring instead. Whis's hand froze momentarily as he took a moment to contain himself over the cuteness of what he was hearing. Perhaps sticking around a little longer wouldn't be so bad after all.

Ooo

"I suppose there are worse things I could have walked in on you doing," Beerus croaked as he dragged himself into the kitchen, intent on drinking as much water as his body would let him.

Whis ceased his dancing. "I'm surprised you're up already."

"I don't feel like I should be. But the need for water is overwhelming."

"Aren't you glad I made you have a glass last night?"

Beerus huffed. "Should have made me have more."

"Perhaps if you'd accepted the first one more easily. At least you'll hopefully have learnt something."

The sound of gulping filled the air before Beerus replied. "Yeah, don't let you take me to a pub. Anyway, what was the dancing about?"

"Nothing."

Beerus eyed Whis as he downed another glass. "Suspicious answer."

"Can one not just enjoy a dance every now and then?"

"Sure, I guess. Never took you for a dancer," Beerus mused, "Dancing is all flexible, but you always look so stiff."

"Even when we train?"

Beerus paused. "I guess not… But the way you conduct yourself usually… I didn't see dancing being your kind of thing."

"The previous destroyer liked to dance," Whis said. "So naturally I learned, particularly when she required a partner. I could teach you if you're interested."

Somehow, despite his sluggish state, Beerus managed to react fast enough to stop Whis from closing in on him and pulling him into some kind of dance move. "No, thanks." He set the glass down. "Guess I'll try and get some more sleep before all this water wakes me up again."

A/N: I must confess that I bullshit every scene involving alcohol. All of Whis's alcoholic knowledge comes straight from Google.