This song is probably one of my favorites ever. I've been sitting on it, waiting for a great Barson moment to use it for. Now I'm like WTF was I even waiting for? There are no more Barson moments for the foreseeable future and I'm incredibly sad about that. Like more sad than I have ever been over a TV show. I hope Raul understands just how loved Barba (and he) are by the SVU fans.

Well what would I do without the nights
And the phone
And the chance just to talk to you
A thousand miles away
What I wouldn't give for only one night
A little relief in sight
Or someday when times weren't so tight

-Bruce Hornsby and the Range (Every Little Kiss)

The phone had rung a lot less in the last 6 weeks. She hadn't realized how much of her phone time was spent with Rafael Barba till it wasn't anymore. She had tried to call the number once, only to hear "this number has been disconnected". She's not proud of the ugly cry she had that night.

She also didn't answer numbers she didn't know. They could leave a message or not, but she wouldn't answer. That policy had paid off the night Peter Stone called her during dinner. She was glad for the time to compose herself lest she teach Noah a whole host of cuss words.

So why, when her phone rang as she crawled into bed from a number she didn't know, she answered it she would never know. She had every intention of hitting the decline button but instead she hit the answer button.

"Hello?" There was silence. She should have just hung up. Never say hello twice. "Hello?"

"Please don't hate me." That voice. It caused her breathing to stop. Rafael. It has been 6 weeks and he's worried that she hates.

"You hate me" he muttered on the other end of the phone.

"Never" she breathed out.

They sat there in silence. Both being unsure what to say.

"Where are you?" she asked.

"San Diego."

"Visiting Amaro?" And why that caused them both to laugh hysterically, they would never know. And they talked. About nothing of substance. Neither one of them wanted that. The call ended with a promise that this wasn't a one off. She would take what he could give right now.

He smiled, picking his phone up off the table, seeing her name. "Good evening."

"Peter Stone is a dick."

He laughed. "Had a good day, did you?"

"Peter Stone is a royal dick."

"Tell me."

And for the first time in almost 10 weeks, she bounced work off of him. And he talked he through some things. Tried to make her understand.

"I mean, I guess I kind of get it, Rafa. But Peter Stone is still a dick."

"Agreed."

"Where are you now?"

"Miami."

She collapsed into her bed, trying to let the day roll off her shoulders. "Tell me about Miami."

"Where are you?" she asked, settling in on the couch with her wine.

"Starbucks."

"You feeling ok?"

"Yeah. I needed really good Wi-Fi. But why do people stand in line for this stuff?"

"Focus, Rafa. Why did you need good Wi-Fi?"

"Dworkin called. Sent me an email. A publisher reached out to him. They want me to write a book."

"About what?"

"That hurts, Olivia. I have things to say. Lots of things to say."

"I remember."

"I'm taking that as a compliment and moving on."

"Probably a good idea. So, a book?"

"Yeah. I guess after… everything… there is interest in knowing more about me and the law and the decisions I made. What do you think?"

And for the next hour they talked through the pros and cons of writing a book, what it would be like, is that something he thought he could really do?

"Where are you?"

"Havana. You should see this place, Liv."

"Please tell me you got there legally. I know how breaking the law is your thing now." He was silent on the other end of the phone.

"Too soon?"

"Yeah, Liv. Too soon."

"I was just about to call you."

He paused, listening to the tussle on the other end of the line. "Wait… would you just wait… can you at least sit down and… DO NOT PULL THE PHONE OUT OF MY HAND YOUNG MAN!... Noah!..."

"Rafa?"

Hearing the boy's voice after all these months brought tears to his eyes. He missed his energy and spunk and mind.

"Hi Noah!"

"Rafa! I told mom I wanted to call you and she said you might be busy so I took her phone and found your number while she was in the bathroom and when are you coming home from your trip?"

"I'm not sure, buddy, but you shouldn't take your mom's phone without asking."

"I've missed you."

He bit his lip. "Buddy, I've missed you too."

"Swear?"

"Swear."

"Then come home. My baseball team starts playing soon and I want you to watch me. I'm playing second base. No. Mom. Wait… can I finish…" Barba heard another slight tussle and then Olivia was on the phone.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I do miss him too Liv. I'm sorry you are having to make excuses for me."

"Rafa, it's fine. I told him you needed to take some time away. I thought he understood." Barba laughed, knowing she was glaring at the 5-year-old standing next to her. He could close his eyes and see the scene as if he was standing there.

"I'm going to send him something for his birthday. How do you feel about a giant bag of chocolate covered coffee beans for him?"

"Don't you dare."

Her phone had been ringing more and more over the months. A few times a month turned into a few times a week turned into at least once a day. Always calls. No texts. No pictures. Just his voice. She didn't care. If all he could give her moving forward was his voice, she would be ok with that. He had been gone for 8 months. Writing his book. Giving lectures around the country. Advising on legal cases when his friends needed him. Thank God for google alerts. The spring turned into summer turned into fall and the calls had been her lifeline some days. He was there as much as he could be. After everything, he deserved a life on his terms.

Her heart beat double time when she saw his name on her screen, like it always did when he called.

"Busy?" he asked.

"Extremely."

"Well, too bad."

"Where are you?"

"Elevator."

"That explains the echo. How's the book?"

"Done. Delivered this morning."

"Rafa, that's amazing. I can't wait to read it."

"Is Noah home?"

"No, there was a birthday party with the baseball team and a sleepover."

"And you let him go?"

"Yeah, I think I scare a lot of the parents with my badge. They all tend to take pretty good care of him."

"I'm proud of you, Liv."

"Thanks."

"So you want to read the book?"

"Yes I do. Email it to me."

"I'll do you one better" he replied as she heard a knock on her door echoed through the phone. She froze.

"Rafa" she whispered.

"Answer the door, Olivia." She flew off the couch and took a steadying breath as she grasped the door handle. There he stood, on the other side, phone still pressed to his ear. Jeans and a polo and unkempt hair and a slight beard, looking like heaven and home. He smiled at her.

"Hi" he said. She couldn't move. She was struggling to process all of this. She could only watch as he disconnected his phone, dropped it into his jeans pocket and reached over to grab hers that was still pressed to her ear. The contact of his fingers on her hand broke her out of her frozen state. She threw the phone behind her, not caring where it landed, and threw her arms around him, pulling him as tightly to her as she could.

"I've missed you" she whispered to him.

"I've missed you more than you could possibly comprehend, Liv."

She pulled back to look at his face. It was him, but a more relaxed version of him. He seemed at peace with himself. She couldn't remember when the last time she had seen him that way.

"Are you back?"

"Depends on how this next thing goes over." And with that, he pressed his lips to hers. She was done. She kicked the door closed, molding herself to him. Lips moving over each other, tongues dueling, hands moving in every direction. They broke for air, barely pulling apart.

"Stay" she said, running her fingers through his hair.

"I think I just might."