Beerus pulled off his shoes and lifted his regalia over his head. Whis cocked a brow as he began to undo his sash.

"I'm going for a dip." Beerus flicked his eyes towards the lake.

"Oh? I didn't think you were a fan of swimming," Whis said. "You certainly didn't seem at all interested the other day at the beach."

"With all those mortals frolicking about in the sea? Of course not. Besides…" He whipped off his pants. "The only swimming experience I've had is in our rather large bath tub."

"I'd hardly call it a tub."

"So I've decided to practice out here. If I ever do swim publically, I want to at least look like I know what I'm doing." Beerus took a few strides forward before looking back over his shoulder. "I could probably use a teacher…"

Whis sighed at the tea he had planned to make last another ten minutes, downing it before getting up to follow the destroyer.

Beerus put a foot into the water, immediately recoiling from how cold it was. This is probably why he'd never had any inclination to swim in here before. Perhaps he should practice in the warm bath instead…

"Changed your mind?" Whis asked.

"N-no! I…" Beerus boldly stepped into the water. "I was just waiting for – hey! Aren't you getting in?!" Beerus gestured at Whis's clothes.

"You're not convincing me." Whis laughed at the way Beerus tried not to shiver. "Do you need some help going neck-deep?"

"NO!" Beerus backed into the water a bit more, afraid that Whis would lean forward and push him. "It's polite to wait, you know, if someone was going to join you."

Something brushed against Beerus's leg and he shot forward, letting out a yelp he was glad no one else was there to witness.

"My, my, was this a mistake?" Whis asked with a chuckle.

"I forgot there's fish in here!" Beerus muttered a few choice curses under his breath before taking the plunge and squatting down in the water. "FUCK. IT'S FUCKING COLD!"

"Feeling better?"

"Yes. I mean, what? Nothing was the matter. I'm not freezing my balls off here. And you can fuck off watching me like that."

Whis was finding it hard not to laugh even more than he already was. "My lord, you chose to do this."

"Yep! And I wished I'd chosen a time when you were not here to see it!" He began to move in the water, getting his blood flowing again. "Well, I bet you don't even feel the cold, right? Come and teach me how to swim properly."

"You'll just be mad if I get in and tell you it's pleasantly warm."

"I've hugged you enough to know your body runs on a temperature not much below mine. You'll certainly feel it, even if you have nerves of steel to pretend you don't."

Whis sighed. "If you insist. I just wish you'd chosen to do this on that nice sunny beach."

"I didn't think you liked the beach. You were sitting there fully dressed, looking out of place."

"I enjoyed it very much. The beach had a nice atmosphere." Whis tugged at his sash.

Beerus watched as Whis removed his clothes with care, folding them neatly in a pile on top of his shoes. Up to this point he'd been very careful to always look away when Whis approached the bath, hot spring, or whatever thing it was that caused him to be naked. He'd caught a few glimpses of that blue ass, but nothing more. All he knew was Whis surely was not hung like an ox.

And now he was finding out that actually Whis didn't have anything like a dick at all. Thank Grand Zeno that he could use this freezing lake for the way he was staring into space – trying not to stare at Whis's dickless groin. Does he have something else? Beerus couldn't just ask. But that was certainly something to chew on.

Whis was already wading out further into the lake. "Come on, then."

Beerus snapped back to reality, having missed his opportunity to splash water at Whis as he walked by. "Fuck you, just standing there like you're not cold."

"I told you this would happen."

"Yeah, yeah." Beerus peered closer, hoping to see goose bumps on Whis's arm. "Swimming, then."

Ooo

Beerus stretched out on the sofa, hooking his foot around Whis's waist and pulling him closer. Whis paid him no attention, busy looking up something on his staff. The destroyer pouted and changed position, laying his head on Whis's lap, staring up at the angel. Whis only moved slightly to accommodate Beerus.

Realising the staff was clearly infinitely more interesting, Beerus sat up and moved into the space between Whis and the staff, staring into it. Whis had been looking up beaches.

"You're such a cat sometimes," Whis said as he dematerialised his staff.

"And you're such an ass sometimes." He didn't really have a good comeback.

"Well, what can I help you with?"

"I'm tired. Swimming is tiring."

"Go to bed then."

"No." It was always shocking for Beerus to refuse sleep, and Whis was by now quite aware that it meant Beerus wanted something else. He just had to figure out what that was. "Why were you looking up beaches?"

"I figured you'd like to swim in a warm sea next time."

"I think I'm done with swimming. My whole body aches."

"Good. I think I'll add swimming to your training regime."

Beerus's mouth fell open. "No!"

"Oh yes. If you find it difficult then it means we need to work on it. Honestly, swimming isn't that bad – you're just not used to using your whole body in such a way. It will be excellent training."

Beerus pressed his head against Whis's collar. "You're mean to me."

"Of course. So, what would you like to cheer you up? Something sweet to get your energy back? Perhaps a massage to sooth your poor, aching muscles?"

"I want…you to wrap me up nice and warm and give me lots of hugs and kisses."

"I see. Let me go and get that blanket we got from Planet Uulu."

"Bring it to the fireplace room." Beerus had left some of the previous destroyer's original room at the base of the tree, now hidden behind the stairs that spiralled around the centre of the tree.

There was something about watching the fire that really calmed Beerus. Whis draped the fluffy blanket around him as they sat on a plush rug in front of the fire place, arms enclosing the destroyer. Beerus sighed in contentment.

"Whis, do you have a birthday?" Recently Champa had decided to have a birthday, wanting an excuse for a party, and as such Beerus had been invited to celebrate too.

"Yes and no."

"…Explain?"

"Like everyone I was obviously born on a certain day, but my home planet is like Grand Zeno's in that it exists outside the realms of the 12 universes. So it is more trouble than it's worth to calculate the exact day that corresponds to my birthday in this universe as it will not be the same each year. Besides, at my age, such a day is unimportant."

"I see… I guess I'm starting to feel the same way. It was fun to celebrate with Champa, but we couldn't even remember how old we were, so it wasn't very special in that sense."

"How old do you think you are?"

"I don't feel a day over 30! Well, I'm pretty sure I was around that age when I left my home planet. But, uh… Let's see. I remember at least five coordination meetings. Maybe it was six? So I'd guess I'm quite a few thousand years old now. But if I really will live to be millions of years old like you said, then… I don't know how I'll keep track. I won't be able to count meetings so easily."

"You'll eventually count with Grand Zeno's thud gatherings."

"His what?"

"Grand Zeno tends to gather everyone for some kind of fun every thud. It's not something he plans per se, but we've noticed it happens about once a thud."

"What the hell is a 'thud'?"

"Oh, right, I guess we haven't covered that unit yet."

"Is this like a tic or a tack?" Beerus asked; he was aware of some of the strange units of time Grand Zeno kept. Personally he was much more comfortable with this universe's ideas of minutes, months, and millennia.

"Yes, a thud is roughly equivalent to 10 million years."

"Wow…" Who'd even need a word for that? "So, are we expecting another gathering soon?"

"No. We had one very recently."

"We did?" Beerus asked.

"You were there, my lord."

"Oh…" Beerus couldn't forget the mass gathering of gods and the universe-changing news. "Whis, you said it was a fun gathering."

"Well, usually it is. One time we played musical chairs. Ah, how fun it was to watch all the gods trying to beat each other, but at the same time make sure there was a chair spare for Grand Zeno!"

Beerus could only imagine how frightening it must be to play games with Grand Zeno. What if that child lost? Wouldn't he just destroy whoever didn't let him win? "It sounds like this is fun for you."

"Well, yes. It's usually quite a silly affair – until someone gets erased. Not that it happens every time."

"Then why were you so worried last time if you find these things 'fun'?" The image of Whis looking genuinely worried was one he'd never forget.

"Last time was…expected in the grand scheme of things, but also unexpected in its delivery. Grand Zeno often announces what's going to happen a few days before to build up excitement for the event. The summons I received for our last visit explained nothing about the circumstances, and there was a very real chance that our universe had been singled out for some reason."

There was a moment of reflection on those events before Beerus spoke again. "I don't look forward to whatever happens in a thud's time. Now, where are those kisses I asked for?"

Ooo

There was an unfamiliar sound when he woke. It sounded like rain, but it never rained here. The weather on his planet was the same all day, every day. His curiosity piqued, he managed to get out of bed surprisingly quickly. Just outside his room were several slit-like windows, and there it was. Water falling out of his sky.

"What the fuck?" he muttered to himself.

Suddenly he was tempted to escape through the window and fly about in the rain, knowing that being at home would mean he could quickly warm up again. It was probably a once in a million years opportunity, so he went for it, flying up to the top of the tree for the best view.

The whole planet was covered in rain, and as he looked up he could see the clouds extended past the land boundaries. He flew once more, this time to the edge, watching as the rain just seemed to drop into the abyss of space below. What did his planet look like from afar when it rained? He didn't have to fly far to find out. Gravity sure is weird, he concluded as he watched the water flowing towards the centre point of the inverse pyramid his planet stood on.

Where was Whis? Did he know the planet's weather system was running amuck in his absence? Hopefully he was out getting an interesting breakfast. As he flew back to shelter he noticed that the angel was right there, enjoying the rain with his eyes closed and a smile on his face.

"Hey, Whis, what the fuck's going on?"

Whis snapped out of it, looking slightly embarrassed. "Oh my, you're up early."

"So you stand out in the rain when I'm asleep, do you?"

"Sometimes it's better to water the planet in a more natural way, so I do like to let it rain naturally from time to time."

He'd seen Whis out with a watering can, tending to his special flowers in the patches Beerus liked to call the 'front garden,' but now thought about it, the idea of Whis going around watering the trees was rather ridiculous. "Naturally? It's pretty unnatural if you ask me. The rain just falls off the edge."

"Then you have to change your idea of what's natural for this planet. Would you like me to make it stop, my lord?"

"No, I want to watch it from upstairs. I quite like listening to the sound. Get me some hot chocolate. I'll be on the balcony in five."

First he needed to get rid of his wet robe and wrap himself up in something cosy. Admittedly he stole Whis's chair from the living room, deciding that the sofa was overkill. He sat on the balcony, warm mug in hand as he stared out at the rain. Whis had pulled up a dining table chair to join him.

"Does it ever thunder or hail?"

"Oh no, I don't allow things like that. It's unnecessary. Would you like me to let it rain naturally more often?"

"Yeah, I would," Beerus said. "When I was a kid it almost never rained. It's a bit of a novelty to have it rain at home. Oh… It's getting lighter."

"A small planet gets a small amount of rain. Perhaps you'd like to swim in the freshly fallen rain?"

Beerus frowned. "I know today's a day off. We're going to eat lots of sweets."

"Are we? Is that why you got up extra early?"

"No, that was just a stroke of luck."

A/N: At this point I'd like to take a moment to thank my figures of these boys that I keep on my desk and stare at often to help get me through this fic. u da real MVPs.