DAY 7 – GROWN UP
A quick jab of the elbow in the ribs didn't do the trick—all it did was make Clyde mumble unintelligibly before he dozed right back to sleep, his body turning to his side and his head shifting against his pillow.
A few finger snaps right over the ear weren't enough, either—Clyde didn't even flinch at the noise.
What came next was a little tamer than the last two attempts, but it still registered as a screeching banshee yowling into his brain.
Even if all Lynn did was harshly whisper right above his face.
"Psssst. Clyyyyyyyde?"
In her wilder years, Lynn would've resorted to more desperate measures of waking her husband up. If the situation called for it, she'd have no shame of slithering the wettest of willies into his ear or blasting the underside of their covers with an F-5 category level Dutch oven.
Clyde could've been grateful for that, but all he could manage to do was murmur and groan like the living dead.
"Uuuuuhhhhh..." he moaned as he furiously blinked his eyes and frowned.
It was as if she knew that he was about to demand an explanation because she beat him to the finish line.
"Baby wants food," she said.
Clyde didn't even have to see Lynn to know what she was doing. He could see Lynn in his mind's eye, sitting upright and protectively clutching her round belly. She was probably using the puppy eyes, too, as if he needed extra incentive to take care of his wife's early morning cravings.
He would've been insulted at the implication, had he not already known about how hard it was for him to get out of bed at nine in the morning for work, let alone at…two in the morning? It was the best guess he had, given that there wasn't a peek of early morning sunlight creeping through the blinds of their bedroom windows.
"Does the baby want food or do you want food?" he asked, rolling over until he could see face Lynn.
As it turned out, his mind's eye was pretty much spot-on.
"Eh..." Lynn drawled through a sheepish grin, "...both?"
Admittedly, she had a point. Had it not been for her skin, muscles, and tissue covering up her insides, Clyde would've assumed that he put a ring on a woman with a literal black hole for a stomach.
"I guess you're not wrong," he said.
Lynn snorted and flashed a smirk his way. "When am I ever wrong?"
Clyde did the same, adding an eyebrow raise for bonus sassy points. "If I had to make a list off the top of my head, the baby would be due before I could be halfway finished."
He chuckled as she shot him a dirty look that she clearly had no venom behind.
"You are so lucky that I can't put you in a triangle choke right now," she said.
"I guess you'll have to settle for glaring angrily at me," Clyde replied, scooting closer and planting a kiss against her hand. "Even if you look super cute every time you do it."
She just rolled her eyes and noogied her fist into his hair, eliciting mirthful laughter. He allowed it, getting as much joy into his system as he could. He knew he needed it soon. No matter how deeply-rooted his dedication for his wife and unborn baby went, there was no way he could ever see himself enjoying the inevitable twenty-minute drive to the nearest convenience store in the dead of February.
He just hoped that her request wouldn't require him to do any cooking.
So much for hoping.
Roughly one-and-a-half hours of driving, waiting for the cashier to ring up his items, more driving, and cooking (uuuuggghhh) preluded Clyde McBride finally returning to the comfort of his bed.
Too bad it wasn't doing anything to comfort the queasy pants that throbbed in his gut.
Watching his wife scarf down one of the most ghastly meals he ever had the displeasure of putting together was even more daunting than putting it together.
Apparently, though, his stunned silence must've passed off for hunger, for Lynn asked him, after gulping down a bite that she swooped off her plate, "Want some?"
"Eh...I think I'll pass. I'm not a waffle and bratwurst kind of guy." Clyde stuck his tongue out in disgust and squeezed his eyes shut. "Especially when whipped cream and powdered sugar is added to the mix."
Lynn shrugged and set her plate off to the side. "Hey, don't blame me. What baby wants, baby gets."
He could live with that, but he was pretty sure that neither of them would want all the fats and excessive sugar that came with such a meal.
Heck, that could apply to all of the early morning cravings that Lynn had been hankering for.
"Yeah, speaking of which, you probably want to get back to the health food," Clyde said. "I know you're eating for two, but this might be going a little overboard, don't you think?"
It was Lynn's turn to gag and frown.
"Uh, no thanks, she said as she shook her head. "Remember when I drank those carrot and beet smoothies you tried to hook me up with a few nights ago? That stuff made me suuuuper gassy."
"Lynn, everything makes you gassy."
"Exactly. So, I might as well enjoy what I'm eating. Is that so wrong?"
"Look, I'm just asking for a little moderation, is all. It wouldn't hurt."
"Oh, quit being a worrywart, will ya? I know what I'm doing. Last time I checked, I've been the one whipping your skinny butt into shape ever since we were kids. I think I know a thing or two about keeping myself healthy, especially when I'm carrying our child."
It was never fun to get checkmated like this, especially now that Clyde realized that he was implying negligence on Lynn's end. He sighed sadly and looked at her with a guilty expression.
"Fair enough. Sorry for getting on your case."
Even in her third trimester, Lynn had enough range in her arms to lean forward and playfully smack Clyde on the shoulder.
"Eh, don't beat yourself up. I know I can be a lot to handle sometimes. 'Sides, you weren't being annoying about it or anything." Her warm smile, along with the lack of malice in her eyes, were even more endearing than her words. "And to be honest, I'm happy with the way you are. I wouldn't trust anyone else to look after our baby with me."
Whether Lynn knew it or not, besides the flattery and relief Clyde felt from her sentiments, she had inspired a conversation that he wanted to get out in the open.
"You know, speaking of our baby, what should the name be?" Clyde asked.
Lynn's brow furrowed in confusion. "Huh? What kind of question is that? We don't even know its sex, remember? We're trying to keep it a secret until its birth."
"Doesn't mean we can't come up with a list of girl names and boy names."
A few seconds of silence pass until Lynn's face brightened up.
"Oh! Or we could just make it easier and go with names that'll work for both a boy and a girl!"
"Hey, now," Clyde said with a smile. "That's a pretty good idea. I guess waffles, bratwurst, whipped cream, and powdered sugar are the optimal brain food combination."
Lynn chuckled, grinning smugly. "And since it was my idea, I get first dibs."
A few more seconds pass before that same streak of brilliance shined through Lynn's triumphant, self-satisfied smile.
"'Lynn the Third'!" She pounded her fist into the open palm of her other hand. "Boom!"
Oh, so that's where Lynn wanted to go. Not that it was a bad idea or anything. 'Lynn the Third' was actually a solid choice, and one that had crossed his mind once before.
Still, there had to be something else out there. Something that could include the both of them. Something like...like...
"Wait," Clyde said suddenly, an idea coming to him. "Why don't we try combining our names together? That way, neither of us have to feel left out."
His proposal left his wife scratching her head instead of immediately accepting. Nevertheless, it was way better than a flat-out rejection.
"You mean like…'Lynde'?" she asked.
"Well...no," Clyde replied. "Not what had in mind."
"Okay then, what did you have in mind?"
Four months later, Clyde still wasn't an early bird. Still, he had the biggest reason in the world to embrace "three in the morning" sessions with the hugest smile on his face.
And that reason was in his arms—her warbling cries wailed through the night as she was gently rocked in her father's arms, her little gift of light brown hair swaying along with Clyde's movements.
"Ssssshhhh," he cooed, "it's okay, it's okay. Daddy's here now."
Even if she didn't know it now, she'd realize it soon enough. Daddy and Mommy would always be around to take care of her, to watch her grow into a strong, beautiful go-getter that would make them both proud.
But that was for the future. For now, all Clyde needed were the two most important people in his world safe and sound—his wife, Lynn, and their daughter, Clynn.