My name is Stephanie Plum Manoso. I'm thirty years old. I'm married, for the moment, and I'm not working anywhere. I don't have to work. I actually sent a letter of resignation to Tank who along with my soon to be former husband owns the company that I worked for. I included with the letter my keys; any and all clothing that had Rangeman on it that I still had after the explosion and the new credit card that Ranger had given me. I declined the opportunity to continue working with my cousin Vinnie's bail bonds office. I pretty much declined every employment opportunity that I was offered. I didn't need to work so I wasn't going to…at least not for a while.

I am currently living in the house that my first husband and I moved into just after we got married. If you're not up on my life events you're probably wondering why. After all, my last name isn't Orr. That marriage was annulled. It's not even Plum. It's Manoso. That would be Mrs. Ricardo Carlos Manoso. But I won't be that for long. I am talking to an attorney later on today.

I'm going after an annulment. I was drunk and didn't know it was real. He better sign the paperwork that will be served on him to that effect too. If that doesn't work, I'll file for the annulment using the reasons that Renee Zellwegger divorced Kenny Chesney, fraud. I thought he'd sign the papers. I was pretty sure that at this point he wanted to forget this ever happened. I don't know otherwise. He hasn't called me.

I'd dwelt on my unhappiness for exactly six days before making the call for that appointment. I had spoken to a lot of people in that time, but none of them were my estranged husband. My parents had come by to console me and I suspect to try to see where my head was. All I said was that he deceived me.

He did more than deceive me. He broke me.

It's funny how that works. All the Ramirez insanity and Slayer horror couldn't break me, but he could. I suppose it's because I never believed in Ramirez or the Slayers. But I had believed in Ranger. I believed in him. I believed he'd do the right thing. I believed that he loved me. I was wrong.

Brian Goodman was a boyfriend of mine between my ex-fiancé Joe Morelli (currently married to the former Terri Gilman) and Ranger…er Mr. Manoso. He had been in town for my wedding reception with Ranger and hung out to see me over the hump. I think it was more than any woman could expect from any man who professed to be in love with them. I know I appreciated it. He stayed for five days. He was smart enough to know that I wasn't ready for another relationship and he respected me too much to take advantage of the situation. He told me he loved me and then he left the country and headed back to Australia on his journey of self discovery.

I don't blame him. It really wasn't a bad idea. I didn't think I'd go to Australia. I was pretty sure that Brian could distract me from my own journey of self discovery if I went there. If nothing else, I'm sure I'd sleep with him. He had good hands and a better mouth if my memory served. If I was going to get my shit together being with Brian was probably not the way to go. It would probably only complicate things more.

I was also pretty sure I'd stay away from any Spanish speaking countries. Yea…some things are just better left alone.

I was back in therapy with Dr. Addison. I didn't talk as much as I had once done. It sort of felt as though there wasn't much point. What was I supposed to say? Ranger didn't know what to say to me and I didn't know what to say to Dr. Addison. He couldn't fix this. Only Ranger could really fix it and it didn't appear that he was interested in doing that. I wasn't sure anymore that I needed it fixed. Now I was thinking that I lived and I learned and it was time to move on.

This time when I moved on I would do it literally. I would move. I don't mean to a house other than the one Dickie and I moved in to before I caught him on the table with that pathetic ho Joyce Barnhardt, no I mean far, far away. My parents were going to move to Florida. Grandma Mazur was still looking just the right nudist colony for her and Burt probably in a foreign country across the pond. There was no reason to stay except for my friends and my sister and her family. Somehow, as much as I loved them, that wasn't enough to induce me to stay.

So now I was going to visit my lawyer and see about the annulment. I'd already signed the necessary papers to proceed with the annulment on the grounds that I didn't know what I was doing. There has plenty of talk in my life that I don't know what I'm doing. I'm sure that I could come up with dozens of people who were willing to give evidence to support that. But as far as the marriage went, I was drunk and I didn't believe we were really getting married and that was enough for an annulment.

Today I was taking my lawyer all the evidence to support the fact that Ranger tricked me into marrying him regarding his duplicity. Of course I didn't have anything from other people supporting the fact, but I had a list of names who would give evidence whether they wanted to or not. The fact was that almost everyone in the city of Trenton and a whole heck of a lot of people in Cayman knew he'd tricked me. There were plenty of people who would testify. I was sure of that.

Anyway, if the first reason didn't work, I was pretty sure the second would. He didn't want me to divorce him. If I divorced him, I'd take his stuff. I didn't even want his stuff. But if he crosses me, I'll do what I have to in order to get my life back and if it hurts him in the process…oh well. He shouldn't have been such a friggin ass.

I studied my reflection in the mirror. I was pale. There was nothing new about that. There were bags under my eyes. I suppose that there were more visible changes in my appearance, not including the thinness of my frame. But I couldn't see them. Yea, my jeans fit a little more loosely, but that's just something that happens. Some women are stress eaters. I'm more of the stress non eater type.

I went downstairs to get another cup of coffee and was diverted by the peal of the doorbell. I veered left instead of right and opened the door to see the last people in the world I either wanted or needed to see…Ranger's parents. You see in spite of the fact that I know all the way down into my soul that this isn't my fault; I'm still feeling guilty for not making it work. I suppose it's the Catholic guilt. Whatever kind of guilt it is, it sucks.

I swallowed.

"May we come in," Louisa asked after a moment's hesitation.

I stepped aside and let them into the house. I didn't trust my voice. I didn't know if I could talk and if I could, I wasn't sure what words would come out of my mouth. I have verbal diarrhea at the best of times and this wasn't one of those. We all know that my ability to control my tongue is pretty much limited to food. Okay, God only knows what will come out of my mouth on any occasion. I grudgingly concede defeat on this one.

The Manoso's sat on the sofa and sighed. I dropped in my chair and sighed as well. They studied me for a few moments before anyone said anything.

"You're not eating or sleeping," Papa said softly.

Did I still have the right to call him Papa? I wasn't sure. "No sir," I replied over the lump in my throat. I was surprised that I could speak at all to be completely honest. It hurt more than I imagined that it would just to look at them.

He sighed, "This thing that Ricardo has done to you, it is very wrong."

I nodded.

"He tricked you into marriage," Louisa's hands twisted in her lap. "I admit I don't understand this Estefania. Why would he do such a thing? It's so easy to see that you love him? Why wouldn't he just ask?"

I blinked at them. "Did…did he tell you that he tricked me?"

She nodded forlornly.

I swallowed, "well, he was honest with you."

She blinked and tears rolled down her cheeks. "That is more than he was with you."

"I could forgive that," I sighed and immediately wished I'd kept that thought to myself.

She frowned and Papa rushed on, "you can forgive him that? Then why haven't you done so?"

How did I answer that? Did I tell the truth or just skate around it? Did I tell them that he needed to ask me for forgiveness for lying to me? Well, he'd sort of done that. He'd admitted that he had done it. No, he hadn't said he was sorry. He just said 'Babe'. I shuddered and shook my head, "you know I love him?" The die was cast. I would tell the truth.

"Yes," he nodded.

"I told him that too," I said seriously.

"Of course you did. When one is in love with someone, they express their heart."

"That's right, they do…if they love you," I said sadly.

"If Ranger expressed his heart to you," Mama began and stopped at the look on my face. "Oh, my heavens, what has he done?"

"He has not told you that he loves you," Papa asked in amazement.

I shook my head.

He sat back stunned into silence.

I don't know why I felt the need to rush to fill the silence. I'd told them what they needed to know. There was no point in going into detail. But my mouth opened and the words just seemed to spill out. "I told him that he was afraid of the words. He said he wasn't. I reiterated that he was. He denied it…vehemently."

"He denied it," Papa frowned.

"He denied that he was afraid of them, but he didn't say them. He didn't say them to me. He's never said the words to me. Well, he's never said them without qualifying it in some way. He loves me in his own way or he loves me in a way that doesn't come with a ring or…" I broke off and blushed brightly. "You get my drift. He has never just said to me…I love you."

"Never," Mama blinked and her eyes filled with tears.

"Never," I assured her.

"What about during the wedding?"

"Does that count?"

"I don't understand," Papa frowned.

"I didn't either," I sighed. "I guess he loves the idea of me, but not me."

"I don't believe that," Mama frowned.

"I came to the only conclusion that I can come to, based on what he said and didn't say," I said quietly.

He sighed, "Yes, you did. He is a man. If he cannot tell you what he feels, he doesn't deserve you."

"I don't think he feels them for me," I whispered. "He says that he's capable of saying the words and he won't say them to me. He can't love me."

Mama shook her head, "no…that's not right. He loves you. I know this."

"Has he ever told you that he loves me," I said the words softly.

She shook her head.

"Well then, that's your answer," I said quietly. "I can forgive him anything if he loves me, but since he doesn't…"

Papa nodded and got to his feet. "I understand darling girl."

"What are you going to do," Mama asked.

"Get the marriage annulled," I said quietly. "I don't think he's given me a choice."

"I think you're right," Papa nodded.

Mama got to her feet and I stood as well. She wrapped her arms around me tightly and a small sob escaped her lips. I hugged her back. "I feel that you're the one for him," she whispered. "I just don't understand this."

"Me either," I whispered over my tears. "But I can't deal with the fact that he doesn't love me. I just can't."

She nodded. "Take care little Estefania. I hope you find someone who is not afraid of the words."

Papa hugged me to him, "and if you ever need anything…anything at all, you call me. I'll get it for you."

I hugged him back. I would have loved for them to be my family.

"And Mama is right; you deserve someone who can say the words. You'll find him."

I smiled in agreement, but I wasn't sure that would happen anyway. I had learned the hard way that love needed to go both ways to work. I wasn't going to settle for less. And I thought my only chance was over.

I walked them to the door accepting more tearful hugs and then got my cup of coffee and grabbed my briefcase and my purse and headed out the door. The lawyer awaited me.