/ Chapter 1: Melancholy in a strange land. /
After managing to get up for more than 2 seconds and recover my ability to walk, I try to decipher where I am and how the fuck I get here.
The last thing I remember is that a light that blinded me, a video game tried to kill me and spend some agonizing moments, where I thought I had ended up in limbo, All thanks to the universe seemed to explode by the damn Dragon Age. ( Mum forgive me, you were absolutely right ... I'm sorry, I promise I will be good )
So ... After I discovered that I was not dead and that I had no idea where I was, I tried to find something or someone to help me.
I started screaming for help in the forest, but I only managed to lose myself more and more, hurting my throat in a short time.
After almost one hour of useless search and completely desperate and for some indication of civilization, I just managed to get tired and be even more lost somehow.
I wanted to stop a little and rest, but the sound of animals running from one place to another and breaking branches terrifies me. I could not even see them, I just heard something strange in the forest, I turned around and saw a big shadow running from me.
After another half hour of running from the shadows and seeking help, I understood that no one would come to help me and that I was completely alone.
I cursed the forest with every word I knew and struggled not to show the tears that formed in my eyes from despair and fear, ¡damn it, this was not the time!, and I could not break down just when I needed to be in control the most.
After a few minutes trying to control myself while walking, the sun fell more and more into the forest, so I decided I had to find a place to spend the night, or rather a way to make it to a village where I could ask for help.
If I was lucky, I would end up on a highway and I could ask a Federal policeman to take me somewhere nearby.
Without much knowledge of survival and much less camping, (thanks Dad for not getting into the Boy Scouts, you were right, what can I say? That definitely could not have helped me in this situation), I decided to go in the direction of the sun and see where it lead.
This forest is very thick and I do not recognize it from any of my trips to the state of Jalisco* or Morelos* , to make everything worse, I just had my Spiderman pyjamas on, I did not have my phone, my wallet, water or food ... I was stranded and without memes to have fun and not fall into despair ... Yes, that's the way I am, my first thought when I get stuck in a potentially lethal situation is that I do not have memes ... leave me alone ...
- "... A chile estoy bien asustado compa ..." -I thought for myself. (I´m really fuckin scare, mate)
If I manage to get out alive, the first thing I will do is to watch on channel 11 the crazy British guy who eats insects and his pee to survive and get out alive of situations like this ... I swear ... I swear it by my pee.
I tried to see if any animal was following me, but I could only see insects and very occasionally parts of deer with strange antlers.
I was beginning to believe that I would die alone in this forest, but then a clearing came with a huge lake; I had seen a huge lake in the town of Tequesquitengo*, but never one so beautiful like it.
I had sand and rocks everywhere, perfect for catching fish and staking prey, the surrounding forests were virgin, I could not see a single house or a dock anywhere, and what surprised me most of all was how clear and transparent it was was, I could see meters deep in the water, was it not a mirror right? Is this water really so clean that it had no pollution or waste? Wow, just wow, the only lakes I had seen that were so pristine, where small lakes in Cancun*, and those tiny lakes were worth millions ... this was a huge lake ... all for myself ...
I went down and drink desperately some water to quench the thirst that I had in my throat, (I did not think about the possible bacteria I could have, if the water was that clear, it would be healthier than anything in kilometres), but I could not get into it a sip to the mouth before a sound of animals distracted me, on the other side of the lake a group of shadows devoured a prey ...
When I moved my face, I could distinguish some shapes moving on a body on the ground and I could deduce that they were eating it to pieces, but what really made me feel afraid, was to see that it was human forms that were eating the raw meat to snacks.
A little scared, I moved behind a large rock that was next to me and I peeked over the rock to get a better view of what was happening.
Shadows on the other side were in no hurry to devour whatever they were eating, and I swear I saw one fight with the smallest one for a piece of meat. What kind of people do that without using tools or fire? ...Aside from the cannibals in the movies? ... Ho dear…* Gulp * ...
The most terrifying thing happened shortly after, a scream sounded somewhere in the forest, and the locos of the lake rushed to collect what I thought was their hunting equipment and they went at full speed into the forest.
I kept hidden behind the rock for a few minutes before hurrying to the other side of the lake to see what the hell they had hunted, maybe I finally got something to eat ... seriously I was starving ... some Chicken Quesadillas or some Tortas de Milanesa * sounded like glory at this time.
But what I saw when I got to the other side made me lose my dinner from last night.
The body of a man disfigured and open from the stomach was in front of me; Part of his guts still hung on the outside and dried blood came out of them, his entire right arm had disappeared and was half-devoured a few meters to the left, worst of all was his head, he was missing part of the face and one could see his brain without problem.
Holy…Fucking…shit
God, what kind of monsters would do this!?
I can not see it more than one minute without gagging ... but I could see something extremely rare in him ... A medieval knight's armour.
- "What the hell?, Why the hell has an armour on?" - I said
It looked like it was taken from a Renaissance fair, it was covered with large pieces of leather and steel scratches on all sides, the green fabrics that adorned the armour did not offer much protection, but they distinguished it as someone from an army. The hands and legs also had matching protections, with the exception of the severed arm.
From his stomach came a large, sharp, sharp sword, like one form a movie, and it had a very strange handle for whatever reason.
After managing to control myself and losing more bile to the ground below, I listened to the silence of the forest and my instinct shouted that I should take it out and take it with me; In the best case scenario, if I had to fight with those crazy bastards form before, I could scare them with my big size and the huge monstrous sword next to me.
I had to grab it with one hand, but it was so heavy that I had to place my 2 feet next to the corpse and pull with all my strength to get it out of the poor unfortunate's chest.
After the sword came out with a bath of visors and blood (and a new punch to my gut), I was the proud owner of a very heavy and sharp long sword.
I tried to move it to attack, but I had a hard time wielding it and not throwing it to the ground every time I launched an attack. How am I going to defend myself with this thing?
Look more if the guy had something else I could use, I notice a small trace of blood on the sand and grass that came from a little deeper in the thick forest.
I decided to follow it (because I was not crazy enought to wait in the lake, for the crazy one folks to return and make a sandwich of me) and some meters later I found a camp halfway through the forest, It was a complete disaster and more corpses where lying everywhere in the camp´s groud.
What the fuck? What on earth had happened to this place? How did all this happen? Damn it ... Should I even enter a place with rotting bodies while I'm surrounded by Cannibals? ... shit ... Why does my life only give me bad crazy options?
... Damn it, I was surrounded by cannibals ... and I only had pyjamas from a 90's caricature as protection ... Carajo… (Fuck).
I needed everything that could help me if I wanted to survive in this damed forest… so yes, I had to enter a camp full of bloodied corpses to find more supplies and protective equipment...
While I was moving through the camp looking for some of those supplies, I tried to look at the corpses, but either they were in very bad condition or I had to touch them and move them to see what they were ... shit that was really disgusting, so better not ... quiza la otra jefe… (maybe the next one boss).
In the main tent of the camp, I find a trunk sealed with an old iron padlock. Luckily on the internet, I had found some time ago, a video of how to open these locks with some force.
Place the heavy sword that had loading between the opening of the padlock and making a lot of force, (as if it were a lever), I managed to make it so that the imperfections in the steel ring yielded and broke the padlock, which fell to the ground without making much noise.
Inside I could find a set of leather armour and steel studs very similar to the armour of the other guy in the lake, there were boots and everything inside the trunk, the armour seemed fresh and without imperfections.
So this was his camp...
I left the armour for a second and I started looking for more supplies, there had to be something more advanced with which could defend myself that a medieval fantasy sword, a gun or a shotgun would not be bad truth be told.
Continuing my way in the camp, I found a small dagger hidden under the pillow (very Hollywood style) and a box full of bottles of wine and dull cheeses.
What I would give for a bit of beef or tacos al pastor* ... but I would have to settle for eating later these stinky cheeses and hard stale pieces of bread.
I was very hungry, but if I had to move corpses to look for clues or provisions, it would better to do it with an empty stomach, or risk losing even more liquids from my mouth.
Near campfire, there was a body stretched with an arrow in the shoulder and a broken bow in his hands, if you looked further down, you could see that a row of bodies that also had arrows stuck, the shooter must have fought with these guys in brass and wrought iron armour... until they caught him on reaching the lake ... poor bastard...
Approaching the corpse, I place the broadsword in the torso of the unfortunate body and lift it with all my strength to see the body from a better angle.
I died seeing it.
He was a humanoid monster with sharp teeth and dead eyes with blood everywhere, his skin was something grey like a corpse or a sick person, but his wounds and his muscles told me that it was healthy, the bruises on his body…god…It was black and some had still black-like blood coming out of them, He wore a very badly formed armour with unchanged metal parts and all of it was joined by just a few light leather strips.
If it was Halloween it would win the costume contest without a problem, but the hole in his mouth and the blood that had come out of his stomach told me that It had been alive not long ago ...
- "Madres... Que verga es eso?" - I said to myself softly. ("Holy shit…What the actual fuck is that?").
Then he moved; His dead eyes stared at me and his mouth moved very fast trying to scream, but his throat was pierced and only suffocated air came out of his mouth.
Despite his deadly wound, the cursed body approached slowly to me and tried to hold me by the leg. I pulled back towards the ground trying to dodge it and cursing every second I had to see it.
- "!No mames, no mames, no mames, que pichnes vergas eres? Que pinches madres eres¡? - I cry, scared. (" !Don't suck it, Don't suck it, what the royal fuck are you?, What the actual royal fuck are you ?!")
The monster did not answer me and only took another choking cry from his putrefied mouth, it did not seem to hurt his wounds at all, he just kept crawling towards me and I could see that he had a great hatred towards me for some reason.
Notice that he was crawling towards me using only his left arm, part of his right leg had been trapped in the bonfire after being partially burned.
- "! No mames, No mames, No mames, esto no esta pasando, esto no esta pasando puta madre"-I Shouted running to take the dagger hidden under the pillow of the tent, since I had brilliantly thrown the sword at the moment the dead man attacked me.
("Don't suck, Don´t suck, Don't suck, this isn't happening, this isn't happening holy shit, holy shit! ").
With my trembling fingers, I looked for the sharp instrument when I found it it had not been 2 seconds since I had stopped seeing the monster, but I was afraid that it had somehow disappeared.
When I got to where he had left the creature, I found it still near the fire, and still slowly crawling to me, moving with his shoulder, had not advanced more than 20 centimetres but I was paralyzed at the moment for having to use my dagger to actually kill him.
Simply put it, the fear paralyzed me to the core, from the feet to the head and my fingers, I did not stop trembling as I saw him slowly approaching me, and taunting me.
A voice in my head told me that it was not time to shake, I had to act now dam it!, without thinking twice, waiting until he put his dark hand on the floor to catch momentum, I take the opportunity to step on his bloody hand with my old blue crocs , and I use my dagger next to the weight of my body to be able to penetrate its skull in one smooth movement.
It is so strange the feeling of something alive suddenly stoping under your hands after stabbing him with a dagger. It was a feeling I never wanted to feel, but I was grateful that it happened to the unhappy bastard below.
It had worked, the thing stopped moving and it was Tiesa-Tiesa (stiff-stiff) on the floor, and in the meantime, I was trying to catch my breath and not miss breakfast for the eighth time this day.
I took a breath and quickly went to the camp store as fast as I could and took a leather backpack that was lost on the floor, putting everything I could into it.
Bottles of wine, full canteen, ugly cheeses and anything that I thought would be of use to me, like black carbon crayons and wrapped papyri for notes I had to make, especially a map of the area that was drawn by hand.
With any luck, I could go out using that. But there was still something: the metal armour.
It was really stupid, but apparently, in these places, the monsters are real and can use swords and bows against me. If he wanted to survive he had to use everything I could to keep breathing, no matter how stupid it was.
It's not like the armour helped the other guy much in the lake unless he wanted to be devoured ... but in the end, it was more sensible than trying fighting the forces of evil using only the power of the Sunday mooring cartoons in my pants
To my cursed luck the armour was cast for someone smaller and thinner than me, if I wanted to use it I would have to improvise.
First, it was the helmet. It was tight, but it was better to let an arrow go through my brain without a problem; Then came the breastplates of leather and steel, although I could put it on, the belts did not have enough holes to ensure the damn thing to me ( slightly big ) abdomen.
And finally came the boots, being a tall and big guy, it was very difficult for me to find good shoes in stores and this time it would not be the exception. The boots would not even fit me. I would have to settle for steel knee pads on my worn-out blue croxes.
The shoulder pads and the protectors of forearms and hands were difficult, but I managed to put them on and the truth be told, I would have to use them if I did not want to lose any of my limbs during battle.
In less than half an hour, I had a full feudal gear on, and if it were not for my Spiderman pants and my discount Croxes , I would say I could get mixed up pretty well in a medieval fair.
Before leaving, I took a look at the map and learned two things: One, apparently the guy who did this was French, because everything was written down in that language without meaning to me, and number two, I did not have the slightest idea of what zone it represented, it was not some Jalisco forest or the Morelos reserve, so I still did not know exactly where it was.
I do not think it ended up in France in any way, either the guy was a tourist for the Hidalgo medieval contest, or just ... I just do not know. What kind of logical conclusion can I draw from all this? THERE ARE MONSTERS EATING PEOPLE HERE OUTSIDE DAMN IT! It is not time to criticize the universe for being as it is.
Take a breath man... Take a breath.
I was lost, but at least I had a general map of the area, and it told me that if I crossed the forest more from the left side of the lake, I would soon arrive at a kind of dirt road, where if I continued to the left, sooner or later I would arrive in a town.
That was a better plan than to hide in the forest full of monsters until nightfall ...
Assuming I did not end in a town full of zombies and have no chance to escape whatsoever, having to turn to a very strange merchant mercenary to escape and defeating monsters that haunt me at every step ... damn Resident Evil 4, I'm still traumatized ... please, God, do not let them have chainsaws, please do not let them have chainsaws…
Taking a last look at the tent, looking for anything that could be useful to me, I started to leave.
Before I left the camp, I could not resist looking back at the creature's body, my mind screamed that I had seen elsewhere but could not put it exactly where. I was still terrified by my encounter with the bastard, but I was comforted to know that he was dead and I was still alive.
With the afternoon over me, I set out to cross the leafy forest to freedom, the first minutes were normal, but after so much bustle my stomach came back to claim me for some food and drink.
I took out the canteen and a hard cheese from my backpack and dedicated myself to the sacred eating act, unflavored cheese while not rotten was still not something I was used to, so I passed some water from the canteen, it was not a 5-star meal but under the circumstances, I could not complain.
After a long time walking, my mind relaxed and I began to admire the beautiful landscape that surrounded me, the plants were green as I had never seen them and the sounds of the forest were full of life.
I was not a boy who left much of the city, but now that I was in that place, I wished I could do it more often. So hypnotized I was in the beauty of the place that it took me two moments notice a detail.
The forest became completely silent just a few seconds ago.
A feeling of terror invaded my back and I started to run. It was then that all hell broke loose.
An arrow flew past my face from the bushes on my left side and was soon followed by footsteps following me. As I ran for my life, I heard the roar of a beast behind me and heard several guys running from the bushes towards my direction.
- " No mames, No mames , No mames, que pinches vergas pasa?! "- I screamed in my mind as I ran through my life. (You can translate it now, can't you?)
The sounds of screams and curses filled the forest as I ran to some point ahead. The arrows began to flash dangerously close to my legs and I knew they wanted to hurt my leg so they could kill me slowly later, without any problems and devour me while I was alive.
Scared and without thinking twice, jumping over some bushes and as I started to move erratically between the trees. All became so much confusion.
The monsters tried to hit me, but the branches of the trees diverted them arrows and so, it was not so easy to hit me. For a second I thought that I could get out of there alive while I had the protection of the trees over me.
Then a cry from the behind a tree greeted me with one of those creatures who raised his short dagger to kill me in a surprise attack.
I'm left with nothing more good options, than to throw myself on the floor and kiss the mud to try to avoid the deadly attack. The blade of an ax flew past my hair and I could feel the power of the weapon on my forehead.
I got up without turning to see and followed my career towards the exit of the forest opposite.
My chest ached and my muscles were tired by fatigue, but fear kept me running despite the pain I felt and I take out the dagger that I had saved for this occasion.
The longsword simply would not help me in this case.
My plan right now was to keep moving between the trees and dodge the monsters while trying to get ahead. It was a good plan, but every once in a while an arrow would manage to take me in the back and cut me a bit, (thanks leather protection), and it also seemed that those things were endless because every certain meter a mini version of the creatures jumped from the trees to try to cut me off with their deadly daggers.
If I could, I would evade them, but if I did not, I have to block them with a personal internet defense move, and finish off with a non-fatal lunge from my dagger. I did not touch them, but I had time to maneuver away from them.
I do not know how much I had run, but my breathing was heavy and my muscles felt burning, my forehead was soaked by the sweat I had and my vision started to fail, but I managed to see a clearing in the distance where the forest ended and My mind told me that this place was my destiny.
Another arrow managed to cut me close to my right shoulder, but it was only the tip and I managed to throw the damn thing with only a few meters of running.
When I finally reached the opening, I could see that there were lights at a little more than 50 meters away, and there were shadows that moved from one side to the other and spoke and laughed, they were people !, people alive!
First I would have to jump to get to them, a slight slope of 2 floors divided the clearing forest, otherwise I would have looked for a lower place, but I decided to take risks and throw myself downhill in order to escape those monsters.
My knees would hate me in the morning, (along with all my toes), but as soon as I touched the floor below, I started shouting at the camp people for help.
-"¡AUXILIO, NECESITO AYUDA, ME PERSIGUEN NO MAMEN AUXILIO!"- I cried so loudly at the (now distinctive) camp. ("HELP, I NEED HELP, HELP ME, HOLY FUCK,!")
I knew that I managed to capture the attention of the people in the camp, but they did not move at all. I shouted again and asked for help but then an arrow managed to pierce my shoulder and I could feel my blood spilling on the grass next to a horrible sensation in my body.
(Damn, I did not want to die like this, not now, why did I even bother to get up form bed today?)
Fortunately, I did not stop, but it cost me a lot because of the excruciating pain of my shoulder, and It was followed by a scream of pain that managed to escape from my mouth, I was very close, less than 30 meters, I was sure.
The arrows began to fly over me, and I begged God not to let me die here.
Luckily the people in the camp started screaming and I noticed that some arrows also started to come out from the camp towards the monsters.
I covered my wound in the arm that bled me a lot, trying not to bleed to death while my heart worked triple to compensate my effort.
My legs were screaming at me in pure agony, and it was really hard not to stop, but somehow I managed to get to the camp and I collapsed on the floor near the biggest store where a strange girl and a giant man were standing.
The people around me shouted like crazy and I could hear a trumpet sounding an alarm.
About 15 people passed me by my back and I lost sight of them, but I noticed the sound of shields and swords crashing behind in a chaotic way and I was wondering if I would have more problems if I did not get up to help.
I answered my question a female voice took me by the arm and pulled me toward the big tent d e in the camp, soon joined by a male voice and a face approached me.
Even in my state of intense pain and physical trauma, my mind managed to make a connection and to my great surprise, I could actually distinguish who was in front of me. I knew him.
- "Do not fear, you are safe for the moment, my men will take care of this" -responded the videogame character.
Duncan? ... The Origins Gray Warden?
/ END OF CHAPTER 1 /
End of chapter notes.
(And also funny stuff the author has put here because like an idiot, he likes to over explain everything in the most ridiculous ways, always):
*- Jalisco: A state in the north-centre region of México, famous around worldwide for being the most "Mexican" state in all of the world, it's where almost all of the international Mexican culture comes from like the Mariachi outfit, the Original Tequila, a lot of delicious traditional foods, the serenatas, banda and mariachi music, also the Cucaracha, and then of course the Sombrero and Sarape Tapatio... so like a Texas but with a sea, forest and a lot less guns...Ho and also, a place with the most beautiful women in all of the Americas live..(also the home-state of the author but I a sure you this a very impartial comment)).
*-Morelos: Also another of the 32 states of Mexico, in the central region, very rich in history, a lot of important personalities from the Mexican history books where born in this stare, it has the most monument-buildings in all of the country that still exist today, as museums and famous hotels, all of the beautiful sites and nature parks make it a hidden gem in the country. A lot of industry and colonial houses for tourism make this a very Mexican and rich place to see. And of course delicious food in every corner. Do yourself a favour and taste the Huauzontle one in your lifetime.
*-Town of Tequesquitengo (Tequis-ki-Tengo)= One of the most important touristic places in all of the Morelos State, it´s home to one of the biggest sweet water-bodies of the central Mexican region, the town makes a lot of his money with the national and international tourism that comes to have a great time in the lake. It´s a magical place, in the middle of the country.
*-City of Cancun. (Can-cún)= Placed in the far south of Mexico, and right at the end of the Peninsula of Yucatan region, Cancun is one of the 3 most important sea-cities in México, and the best place to understand the Mayan civilization of old times, it´s a magical place with a strange mix of old traditions and modern commodities, there is always something for everybody in here, nice seafood, warm people, amazing places for the family, exotic locations for the adventure, and cheap places and dorms for a long-week adventure.
Cancun has the worldwide know Mayan Ruins, and in secret one big pagan-Chaman tradition heritage, directly from the original inhabitants of the regions, lots of the native people still live there making a living as salespeople, directly working with the big tourism companies, building houses and streets, and of course the mystic shamanism practices and rituals for the ones that look for a new start, all within a small linear coast, and a lot of modern commodities of a modern city.
* -The Tortas de Milanesa is a dish typical of Mexico City and unlike Tortas in other Spanish-speaking countries, they are not sweet cakes, but rather special sandwiches, with a special bread, large and oval, which is filled up to the ridiculous, with meats, cheese, and vegetables. A ham Torta is then a large ham sandwich. A Milanesa is in turn breaded and golden beef, which highlights the flavour of the meat and adds a fried flavour to the sandwich. One Torta in México City costs around $ 35 Mexican pesos ( $1.70 Dollars), and it 's enough for a full meal.
*-Chicken Quesadillas= Strangely in Mexico City, (and to the eternal shame to the Capital habitats (chilangos), in Mexico City the quesadillas don´t have to have cheeze in them. Like any sane person will tell you, (proven he/she has a basic knowledge of the Spanish language), the name quesadillas imply the use of Queso, (literal cheese); So in a sence, a quesadilla could be translated as Cheesies, and as such they MUST have cheese in them… always.
As explained before, the chilangos are a strange breed of Mexicans that seem to operate under some other set of rules that the rest of the mortals in the country don't.
(Like logic and sanity for example)
And the Quesadillas in Mexico City can have or not, cheese in them. So a chicken quesadilla could be a long hand-made tortilla, with meat, sauce, and some other thing, have no cheese what so ever and still be named Quesadilla (Cheesies)...so yeah...
So, in their defence, (and also the in the author's as he has lived in the capital for more than 10 years, any cheeseless quesadilla in Mexico, is absolutely delicious, and a complete gusto for the senses)
*Tacos al pastor: Strangely, Tacos al pastor is a taco made of Kebab meat. A taco only made in the mexican Capital, except that they can have pineapple in them... please don´t ask for any of that, the author has enough hard time with these long-ass explanations...