Chapter 19
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter world obviously belongs to JK Rowling and not me. Obviously.
… … … …
After the incident that night in Snape's office, Leila had to report every morning to receive a special Calming Draught from Madam Pomfrey. She hated taking them because they made her numb, but in a way it was also a blessing. She was almost too numb to mourn Harry. Weeks had past and she still hadn't heard word of her brother; but Leila assumed that Harry, Hermione, and Ron were probably plotting how to sneak into Malfoy Manor where Voldemort would be waiting for them. The thoughts that would normally make her sick or angry hardly bothered her. She was terrified for her brother and already mourning his loss, but no one would have guessed it because the Calming Draught drowned any emotions. Life was still hell. Draco, the Carrows, or Snape were with her for practically every waking moment. She was swamped with homework, especially in Muggle Studies and Dark Arts because she wasn't allowed a wand. Every night, she would do her homework in Snape's office while being watched by Professor Snape. Neville still got in to trouble almost weekly, which was a change compared to the once timid boy she had known. Every day seemed to drain more and more of her spirit from her. Leila barely spoke to anyone. The only people she would speak to were Draco, Professor Snape, and on occasion Daphne. Other than that, she would remain silent. Wasting her breath on people wasn't worth it to her; she just wanted a way out. Something she didn't begin to take seriously until the end of October.
Early in the morning, Leila sat on the hardwood floor of her dormitory gazing out into the Black Lake. It seemed like every morning she found herself looking out into that lake. As much as she hated water like that, it was about the only thing that brought her a little comfort these days; but today, it didn't bring much. Today was October 31st, the sixteenth anniversary of her parents deaths. Sixteen years ago she and her brother should have died in Godric's Hollow. Voldemort didn't only take away her parents; he took away her chance at ever having a normal and happy life. She moved to dig through her trunk to find her beaded bag. She clasped the bag and also grabbed a throw blanket from the bottom of her trunk. With the bag and blanket in hand, she sat back down in front of the window that looked into the Black Lake. After wrapping the blanket around her lower half, she plunged her hand into the beaded bag.
The first item she pulled out one of the books on Horcruxes that she had divvied up with Hermione. She opened the book and noticed a piece of parchment where she had taken notes. One night, while she was still at the Burrow, she and Hermione had stayed up all night pouring over those books and taking notes about everything they could about how to destroy Horcruxes. But Leila quickly slammed the book shut. She didn't want to remember. It was too emotionally draining to remember those times. So instead, she set the book on the hardwood floor of the alcove where she sat and quickly plunged her hand back into her bag. She pulled out another book on Horcruxes and threw it on top of the other book. Then she pulled out the music box that Fred had given her. Blinking back a tear, she opened the compartment to the music box and stared at the necklace that had been her mother's, given to her by Sirius, and the Draco's Slytherin ring. Running her fingers over the metallic objects brought back floods of memories, so she quickly slammed the compartment shut, trying to forget all the memories that went along with each object. But before she discarded the music box she wound it up and the hauntingly beautiful melody began to play. As the melody filled Leila's ears, she set the music box down on top of the pile of books.
As the beautiful song echoed in the alcove, Leila could almost swear that she heard a woman's voice singing the beautiful melody. She looked around the room and found that all the girls were still sleeping. Maybe she was hearing things. Wouldn't surprise her much considering that she was being kept numb by a Calming Draught every day one orders from either Snape or the Carrows. Leila closed her eyes as the song began to finish. It made her want her mother. Her mother was supposed to be the one there to kiss her goodbye as she boarded the Hogwarts Express for the first time. Her mother was supposed to be the one to have helped her pick out her first beautiful set of dress robes for the Yule Ball. Her mother was supposed to be the one to be proud that her daughter had been made prefect. She was supposed to be there to shed a tear as her little girl headed off for her final year of school. Her mother was supposed to be there as she fell in love and then when her heart was broken. Her mother was supposed to be there when she announced an engagement to someone she trusted would suit her daughter well. Her mother was supposed to be there for everything, and yet, Leila's mother would never be there for any of it.
Leila's hand reached once more inside her beaded bag as she pulled out the photograph album Hagrid had once given her. She paged through it. She stopped to gaze at a picture of her parents as Head Boy and Head Girl of Hogwarts. Normally, she would get annoyed when people told her constantly that she looked like her mother; but right now, she wanted more than anything to know of their exact similarities. Except for her father's bright grin, her facial features strongly resembled her mother's. The same cute button nose, the scattered freckles, but most noticeable was the almond-shaped, bright emerald colored eyes. From looking at the picture, Leila noticed that she was significantly thinner than her mother was at her age. She also knew this was her own doing, but being held captive didn't normally give one much of an appetite. She continued to flip through the pages until she came upon the picture of her once happy family. In the photograph, baby Leila snuggled close to her smiling mother somewhat shying away from the camera as baby Harry giggled happily in his father's arms. Tears trickled down her cheeks. Sixteen years ago she lost this. She wanted nothing more than to be with her parents right now, but the only way to them was through death. Something she would almost willingly welcome. Death seemed the better option than living any longer in this hell because she knew it was only a matter of time before Harry's imminent death.
"Leila, why are you always up so early?" Daphne mumbled from her pillow.
Leila shrugged her shoulders as Daphne groaned before getting out of her bed. The small alcove was between Leila and Daphne's bed, so Daphne crossed the hardwood floor and sat beside her once best friend in the alcove. Leila scooted closer to the window and slammed her photograph book shut; but Daphne stuck her hand inside of it so that it couldn't close all the way. Daphne gently opened the album and looked at the picture of the once happy Potter family.
"You miss them, don't you?" Daphne asked.
"Doesn't really matter," Leila muttered.
"It's all right to miss them. They were your parents, Leila," Daphne sighed.
"I don't want to talk about them," Leila said.
"It's the anniversary of their deaths, isn't it?" Daphne asked.
"How did you know?" Leila asked hoarsely.
"We may not be best friends now, but I was your best friend for six years. I know you pretty well, including what Halloween means to you," Daphne said.
"Why do you even care?" Leila sniffled.
"I know I completely botched things between us and that you may not be my friend, but I'm going to be the best friend to you that I can be," Daphne answered.
"Then if you really want to be my friend, leave me alone," Leila said.
Daphne looked at Leila. Her former best friend didn't look upset, but she really didn't have an emotion on her face. It was as if the Leila she had once known was completely gone and taken over by some emotionless twat. She wished there was something else she could do for Leila, but until Leila realized that she wasn't in this alone, there wasn't much that she could do. So Daphne left Leila to get ready for the day. Leila once more opened her photograph album looking at the pictures of her parents. Only in death could her broken family be made whole again.
After several moments, Leila stood-up and moved to her trunk, leaving her things in the alcove. She pulled her Hogwarts uniform on and walked out of the dormitory before the other girls were even out of bed yet. She knew that she had to meet Draco because he needed to escort her to the hospital wing. Every morning they would walk there and Leila would take a Calming Draught before classes, whether she needed one or not. It was a precaution that someone with a higher authority had thought necessary. She knew better than to argue with Draco on this because it was beyond his authority, so she just gave in to the demand. The common room was empty when she walked into it. She had expected Draco to already be there, so she plopped onto the chair and waited for him to show up. Minutes later, he came running into the common room while trying to tie his tie. He headed straight for the girls' dormitories.
"I'm right here," Leila said.
Draco stopped in his tracks and turned to face Leila sitting in the chair. A look of surprise was plastered on his face.
"I didn't expect you to be ready yet," Draco said.
"The sooner this day gets started, the sooner it's over," Leila said.
Draco nodded his head and walked over as Leila slowly followed after him. In silence they walked to the hospital wing, where Madam Pomfrey stood waiting for them with Alecto Carrow. Madam Pomfrey certainly didn't look too happy as the Calming Draught sat in a goblet on her desk. Draco and Leila walked closer to them as Madam Pomfrey was arguing with Professor Carrow.
"I don't approve of this. The Calming Draught isn't meant to be used every day, only on occasion. The effects could…" Madam Pomfrey began
"What you think doesn't matter. Now give the girl the draught," Alecto hissed.
"I took an oath to do no harm," Madam Pomfrey said.
"She doesn't look hurt to me," Alecto argued.
"Then you clearly can't see," Madam Pomfrey tutted.
"Give the girl the damn draught and I'll deal with you later," Alecto sneered.
"Miss Potter, do you think that you need this?" Madam Pomfrey asked Leila.
Leila simply shrugged her shoulders in noncommittal. Madam Pomfrey looked from Leila to Alecto Carrow and sighed. She reached on her desk for the goblet and handed it to Leila. Leila reached for the goblet, but she didn't get a good grip on it and the goblet tumbled to the floor and shattered on impact. Quickly, they backed away from the mess on the floor; except for Leila, who stood there staring at it. Draco grabbed her arm and pulled her back, which caused her to fall in a heap on the floor. While Draco moved to help Leila, Alecto Carrow performed the Cruciatus curse on Madam Pomfrey. Madam Pomfrey's screams echoed through the hospital wing. Leila clung to Draco, expecting the curse to be turned on her next. He held her tightly as Carrow released Madam Pomfrey from the curse. Madam Pomfrey lay on the floor panting for breath.
"Don't question my motives again," Alecto hissed. "Now refill that goblet."
"That was the last of that batch," Madam Pomfrey panted.
"How convenient," Alecto sneered.
"I can have Professor Slughorn brew some more, but it won't be ready for some time," Madam Pomfrey said.
Suddenly the hospital wing doors flung open and in walked Professor McGonagall. When she saw Madam Pomfrey on the floor panting for breath and Draco holding Leila on the floor she gasped.
"What is the meaning of this?" McGonagall asked.
"Mind your own business you old hag," Alecto hissed.
"If you need to name call do it in private, not in front of the students," McGonagall retorted.
She quickly rushed to Madam Pomfrey's aid and helped the woman off the floor. Slowly, Professor McGonagall helped Madam Pomfrey to her feet. She dusted off Madam Pomfrey's shoulder and looked to the two teenagers on the floor.
"Miss Potter and Mister Malfoy, I suggest that you both head to the Great Hall for some breakfast," McGonagall said sternly.
"The girl still hasn't taken her draught," Alecto sneered.
"I already told you that was my last goblet full," Madam Pomfrey pleaded.
"Whatever you've been drugging Miss Potter with, I'm sure she can go one day without it," Professor McGonagall responded.
"This isn't over!" Alecto threatened.
Alecto pointed her wand from Draco and Leila to Madam Pomfrey to Professor McGonagall before storming out of the hospital wing. Professor McGonagall helped Madam Pomfrey to a chair, in which she sat gingerly as Draco stood up before helping Leila to her feet. Draco nodded in Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall's direction before escorting Leila from the Great Hall. The older women watched them exit before continuing.
"Poppy, Albus would be turning over in his grave if he saw what has become of his school," McGonagall muttered.
"I don't know how much more of this I can take, Minerva," Poppy said.
"We have to, for the students. We need to keep as many of them safe as we can," McGonagall stated.
After a quick breakfast, Leila and Draco went to their classes. First, they went to Dark Arts where Professor Carrow lectured on the importance of Dark Arts in the future of the Wizarding world. Leila expected Neville to interrupt the lecture, but instead, he sat there with his arms folded across his chest glaring at Carrow. When Carrow would call on him to answer questions, Neville would simply shrug his shoulders as if he didn't know what Carrow was speaking about. Neville's point got across clearly because he was given a detention by the end of the class period and he hadn't really done anything. Draco then walked her to Transfiguration. After Transfiguration was Ancient Runes which was followed by Muggle Studies.
Leila couldn't concentrate on Carrow's anti-Muggle rant, instead her thoughts wandered back to her mother. She wanted to see her mother, to ask for her advice, to know that she still loved her. She needed her mother now, more than ever. Maybe Trelawney had some way to communicate with the dead; but the more she thought of it, the more ridiculous it seemed. Her parents would have moved on and would be in a better place. She wanted more than anything to be in a better place and she needed to figure out how to get to that better place.
Before long, Carrow's long-winded lecture was over and they were headed to the Great Hall for lunch. Leila and Draco were the first seventh years to sit at the Slytherin table, so they sat in their usual spot and waited for the rest of the seventh years to fill in. Flora Carrow sat on the other side of Leila, while Daphne and Theodore Nott sat across from them. Blaise Zabini was just about to join them when Astoria Greengrass pushed past him and sat beside her sister.
"So, Draco, are you going to tomorrow's Quidditch match?" Astoria asked him slyly.
"Haven't decided yet," Draco said.
"Slytherin versus Gryffindor always makes for a good game," Theo added.
"I'm sure it would be better if you were our Seeker," Astoria said ignoring Theo.
"I'm sure Harper will do just fine," Draco responded in a dull tone.
"If we had our star-Seeker, my job as a Chaser would be easier. Luckily, Nott, Zabini, and I work really well together," Astoria said.
Leila's eyes widened. Astoria Greengrass had taken her position as Chaser? No one had told her that Astoria was made Chaser. Leila looked to Daphne, who seemed to understand.
"Can we change the subject for those who aren't obsessed with Quidditch, like me," Daphne added.
"C'mon sis, I'm just trying to get Draco to come watch me play. You never know he could be my good luck charm," Astoria said winking at Draco.
"So, the Halloween feast is tonight," Draco said attempting to change the subject.
Only, at the mention of Halloween Leila tensed up. She hated Halloween. It wasn't because Muggles dressed-up in creepy outfits and demanded candy; it wasn't because the ghosts threw a Death Day party; but because Halloween reminded her of what she lost. She couldn't escape her feelings as her anger of her parents being dead began to bubble within her. Pettigrew had led Voldemort to her parents that night. Her parents had been torn from her that night. Her thoughts from earlier this morning began to repeat through her head about her parents and thoughts of death ran through her mind. She quickly stood-up to walk away before the tears were streaming down her face. She knew Draco was probably coming after her so she turned around to see how much longer she had until he caught up with her. She turned around to look at him and just as she did, Astoria Greengrass leaned across the table and planted her lips on Draco's. Draco's eyes widened as he tore away from Astoria's kiss with a stunned expression. Astoria grinned as Draco took off after Leila. He met up with her just outside the Great Hall.
"Leila, that wasn't what it looked like," Draco pleaded.
"Not now, Draco," Leila said.
"She just threw herself at me and…" Draco began.
"That's not what this is about," Leila muttered.
"Then what is this about?" Draco asked.
"You don't understand!" Leila shouted.
"I'm sorry about Astoria, but you're in the same situation as I am. So don't try and act like I don't understand," Draco hissed.
Leila shook her head and backed away from Draco.
"Where are you going?" Draco questioned.
"B—b-bathroom," Leila stuttered.
Leila marched for the lavatory down the corridor from the Great Hall. As she walked into the lavatory, the tears began to fall heavily. She wasn't crying because Astoria kissed Draco. She was crying because she missed her parents, just as she had all day; but she was finally releasing the emotions that had been begging to be released. Draco stood outside the bathroom door and listened to Leila cry. He did feel bad that Leila had to see Astoria kiss him, but she claimed that this wasn't about that. Then why else would she be crying? The kiss and then the loss of Quidditch was the only thing that made sense to him. Daphne Greengrass exited the Great Hall and noticed Draco standing outside the girls' lavatory, where she assumed Leila to be. Having heard the brief interaction between the pair, she walked up to Draco shaking her head.
"You're thick sometimes, you know that?" Daphne said.
"What now, Greengrass?" Draco asked.
"Don't you know what day it is? Daphne hissed.
"Of course I do. It's Halloween," Draco retorted.
"And what's so significant about Halloween to Leila?" Daphne furthered.
"Erm—I—uh—well," Draco said struggling to find words.
"It's the anniversary of Leila's parent's death. I would have expected you to remember that seeing as you're her fiancé and all," Daphne said rolling her eyes.
Draco's face said it all. He had forgotten what today had meant to Leila. He and Leila had hardly ever talked about her parents. Family had always been a touchy subject for the both of them. He should have realized what today was, no matter what side his allegiance may be to. He needed to fix things with her. He really cared about her and he messed this up.
"I need to talk to her," Draco groaned.
"No, you need to give her some space. You've been her constant companion since you brought her to the Manor," Daphne said.
"You know she's not supposed to be unattended," Draco hissed.
"Honestly, where is she going to go? Every defense strategy imaginable is in place," Daphne said.
"That may be, but…" Draco continued.
"I'll keep an eye on her if that will make you feel better," Daphne said.
"I don't know that it will," Draco said.
"It will make her feel better," Daphne argued.
"You're sure?" Draco asked.
"I am," Daphne nodded.
"Fine, I'll check in on her after school," Draco said.
"In the morning," Daphne argued.
"I don't think so, before dinner" Draco hissed.
"Fine, we'll meet up in the common room and go up to the feast together," Daphne groaned.
Draco nodded and Daphne took a few steps away before turning back to Draco.
"And Malfoy," Daphne called to him.
"What?" Draco sneered.
"Try staying away from my sister," Daphne said.
"I didn't do anything!" Draco hissed.
"I know, but I would still stay away from her for the time being," Daphne finished.
Draco nodded his head before walking away. Daphne walked into the lavatory, where Leila sat on the tiled floor with her knees up to her chest. Daphne offered a slight smile to Leila, which wasn't returned.
"I don't need your pity," Leila muttered.
"Fine, I just figured you could use a friend," Daphne said.
"What I need is to get to class," Leila said.
Leila stood up and examined herself in the mirror. Like every time after she cried, she looked like she had been attacked by a banshee. With warm water she wiped away the tear stains on her cheeks and walked away from Daphne. Daphne sighed, Leila was being difficult, but with today being what it was, she really hadn't expected differently. Leila sat through her last two classes: Potions and Arithmancy, when Daphne met up with her again. They walked down the corridors in silence until Daphne broke it.
"Want to go to the library? It shouldn't be that busy since it's a Friday afternoon," Daphne said.
"If I say that I'll go, will you stop hovering over me?" Leila asked.
"If that's what you want," Daphne said.
Leila nodded her head and followed Daphne to the library. They sat at the table in silence as Daphne worked on her homework. Leila had homework spread on the table, but she just couldn't concentrate on it. Instead her thoughts turned slightly morbid. She had been moping all day about not being able to be with her family, but she could be with them today. But how would she be able to do it? She didn't have a wand and the Death Eaters thought it better to torture her than to kill her. She stood up and looked out onto the Black Lake, when it clicked. Before she could fully process her thoughts, Daphne interrupted them.
"We need to meet Draco in common room before the feast," Daphne commented.
That but a slight kink in her plan, but it was still manageable. Leila nodded her head and sat back down. She began to furiously write, but not for an assignment. When Leila was done writing, Madam Pince came over to kick her and Daphne out of the library to go to the feast. They walked back to the common room in silence, as Leila mentally finished her plan of action. She was finally getting out of here. When they got into the Slytherin dungeon, Leila immediately headed for her dormitory. She threw her bag and parchment on her bed and reached in her trunk for her long Slytherin robe. She wrapped it around herself and turned around to find Daphne looking at her quizzically.
"I—I need to use the bathroom, the prefects' bathroom," Leila said stumbling on her words.
"Just hurry back," Daphne smiled gently.
Leila nodded her head, knowing that this was a promise she wasn't going to keep. She put her hood up and tightly wrapped her cloak around her so that no one could tell it was her; but most of them should already be at the Halloween feast anyways. She briskly walked to the prefects' bathroom and said the password to enter. She walked until she came to the bathtub and noticed that it was already full with clean bathwater, but she tapped the faucet for more water to flow into the pool. Soon, the water began to pour over the edge of the tub and Leila sat down on the edge, still in her clothes. The water began to soak through her clothes and make them cling tightly to her thin body. She could feel the added water weight pulling her legs down further in the tub.
She jumped the rest of the way into the overflowing tub. The weight of her clothing pulling her down farther, but she still held herself above the water. She hoped that this would be quick and painless. It had seemed like it would be after that time Piers Polkiss had pushed her off the pier and into the sea. Sirius' falling through the Veil flashed through her head. Cedric being hit by the green Killing Curse flashed through her head. A green flash, which she was sure belonged to the death of her mother, flashed through her head. Almost there. She was almost reunited with them. Her thoughts turned to Draco. What would happen to him? Would Voldemort kill him? Really, she was only doing Voldemort a favor. Finishing what he should have done sixteen years ago.
Back in the Slytherin girls' dormitory, Daphne sat on her bed reading a copy of Witch Weekly when a knock came at the door. It slowly opened and revealed Draco standing outside the door. He walked inside sheepishly.
"I know I said I would meet you in the common room, but…" Draco began.
He looked into the seventh year girls' dormitory and found Daphne alone. Draco walked over to Leila's bed to see if she was in the alcove Daphne said she sat in every morning.
"Greengrass, where's Leila?" Draco asked.
"She needed to use the lavatory," Daphne said lightly.
"You let her go by herself?" Draco hissed.
"I'm trying to earn back her trust. She only went to the prefects' bathroom, Draco," Daphne said rolling her eyes.
Draco groaned as he sat on Leila's bed. He noticed that he crumpled a piece of parchment as he sat down she he picked it up from underneath it. His curiosity got the better of his so he opened the parchment and was shocked to find what he saw.
Mum,
I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to live without you but I hope you're there to meet me.
"Damnit," Draco hissed.
He dropped the parchment and took off in a sprint for the prefects' bathroom. Meanwhile, in the prefects' bathroom, Leila looked at the water which was covering the bathroom floor and ran her fingers through her hair. Soon you'll be reunited with your filthy Muggle mother, rang through her head.
"I'm sorry," Leila whispered.
She knew that in a matter of moments she would see the people that she wanted to most: her mother, father, Sirius, probably her brother, and she was even excited at the prospect of seeing Cedric again. Leila inhaled deeply before slowly exhaling all the air in her lungs. Slowly, she lowered herself into the overflowing pool until she was fully submerged. She let her body go limp before fading away into blackness under the water.