Chapter 21
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter world obviously belongs to JK Rowling and not me. Obviously.
… … … …
Three days had passed and Draco was beginning to grow restless. What if Leila never woke up? He wasn't sure he could live with himself, knowing how much he was responsible for her drastic measures. How his wrong choices had driven her to this. He paced the Headmaster's office going over and over again with his thoughts. Snape had forced him to leave the hospital wing and he certainly didn't want to be anywhere where he was going to be asked questions about Leila. He wanted to wallow in his own guilt than have it shoved into his face by countless others. As he turned, he looked to Dumbledore's portrait and that pang of guilt rumbled inside him. How many times he replayed that night over and over again, and every time he took Dumbledore's offer. The old man had repeated his offer so many times, and by the time he was finally willing to accept it had been too late. He turned on his heel and looked at the portrait which belonged to Phineas Nigellus Black; it was empty. The old Slytherin headmaster was probably visiting his other portrait in Malfoy Manor. The Manor reminded him of another mistake: kidnapping Leila. He wished he was brave enough just to leave the Dark Lord. He wished that he was brave enough to not care about the Dark Lord's consequences.
Draco kicked at the floor in frustration before leaving the Headmaster's office. He needed to be there when Leila woke up. He needed to talk with her and he needed to fix things with her. There may not be any hope for them as a couple, but he still needed to prove that he was going to be there for her. After what had happened, she needed someone to be there for her and he was going to be the one that was going to be there. He quickly walked to the hospital wing, not wanting to be away from Leila even for another minute. He didn't give a damn what Snape thought, he needed to be there. When he opened the door Madam Pomfrey simply nodded at him from her desk before he rounded the curtained area where Leila lay unconscious. He noticed a slender, blonde woman placing a vase of lilies on Leila's bedside table.
"Mother," Draco whispered.
Narcissa walked over and enveloped her nearly grown son in a hug. In return, he flung his arms around his mother and buried his face on her shoulder.
"I came as soon as Severus would allow me," Narcissa said.
"What am I supposed to do?" Draco asked.
"I don't have an answer for that, Draco," Narcissa whispered.
"I can't lose her," Draco said.
"I know, sweetheart," Narcissa sighed as she hugged her son tighter.
Draco gently released his mother and pinched the bridge of his nose as he walked over to the flowers. With his finger, he gently touched one of the petals of a flower.
"Lilies, they're her favorite," Draco said.
"I had my suspicions," Narcissa added lightly.
"And she might not wake-up to see them," Draco muttered.
"Draco," Narcissa sighed.
"I let her out of my sight for a few hours and then this happens," Draco snapped.
"She's been spiraling downward for months now," Narcissa responded.
"And I could have prevented all of it," Draco hissed.
"Don't be so hard on yourself," Narcissa scolded.
"But it's true. That night on the Astronomy Tower, Dumbledore offered us protection. I could have gotten us all out of this, but I hesitated. I—I," Draco began to sniffle.
Narcissa turned her son toward her and hugged him once more. She wanted to ease his pain, but she knew that there was nothing she could do. She could only hope for the best: that Leila would wake-up and make a full recovery. At one time, she probably would have only said she wanted it for her son, but truth was even through their limited interactions at the Manor; Narcissa had grown quite fond of Leila. Leila was like the daughter she never had. She loved her son more than the world itself, but she never had the daughter she had always wanted. Narcissa released her son and bent over to place a kiss on Leila's forehead. Suddenly, Snape appeared and cleared his throat. He watched Narcissa and Draco before he curtly nodded his head. Narcissa placed a kiss on Draco's cheek and hugged him one last time. She needed to leave before the Dark Lord heard of her visit. Severus had promised to keep it a secret and had arranged her visit to take place when both of the Carrows were down in Hogsmeade.
"Blaming yourself won't help anyone," Narcissa whispered.
With that, Narcissa walked away from her son with Snape. Draco collapsed onto the chair beside Leila's bed and took her hand in his. He squeezed her hand tight, hoping for a sign of something, but nothing happened. Sighing, he released her tiny hand and sat back in the chair. Here was to another night spent at Leila's vigil.
… …. … …
Lily bent down and placed a gentle kiss on Leila's forehead. Leila reached for her mother and clung tightly to her, because she knew the path she was going to choose. She was going back. Harry needed her. She had been so selfish over the years. Harry for the most part had always been supportive of her and there for her even when things were rough for him. When something bad crossed her path, she just gave up and tried to find the easy way out. She didn't know how she was going to do it, but she needed to stay strong for Harry. Leila looked into Lily's eyes once more. Lily's eyes seemed to shine with tears, because she already knew the decision Leila had made.
"I love you, Leila. Don't give up on love, my sweet girl. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Just open your eyes," Lily whispered.
… … … …
The moonlight shone through the window into the hospital wing where a pale Leila Potter began to stir. Her mother's parting message rang through her head as she slowly began to come to. Slowly, she opened her eyes and blinked several times trying to adjust to her surroundings. She was no longer in the beautiful valley of lilies with her mother, but rather, at Hogwarts. Slowly, she pushed herself up to a sitting position. Why had her mother chosen those last parting words? Glancing beside her bed, she noticed Draco asleep in the chair with his arms folded across his chest.
"I'm sorry, Leila," Draco muttered in his sleep.
Leila jumped at his words. Very rarely had she known Draco Malfoy to actually be sorry about something, so she examined his face. It looked conflicted, as if he was battling something in his sleep and a few tears slipped from his eye. Somehow he looked different from that night in the bathroom. He didn't look as terrible as she remembered him looking. Draco muttered another apology so Leila reached out her hand and placed it on his arm. She gently shook it in attempt to wake him up. Draco opened one eye and noticed Leila looking at him. He forced himself awake and gazed into Leila's beautiful eyes. How he had missed looking into those shining emerald eyes, but something seemed different about the way she looked at him.
"Draco," Leila whispered.
"How do you feel?" Draco asked.
"I should be asking you that," Leila said lightly.
"You had me worried there for a while. I'm so sorry for everything," Draco said.
"While I don't think what you did was right, Harry shouldn't have provoked you," Leila sighed.
"What?" Draco questioned in disbelief.
"Harry shouldn't have thrown a curse at you he didn't know about," Leila explained.
"Leila, that's not…" Draco began.
"Why aren't you in a bed? You looked so terrible lying there on the bathroom floor. I wasn't sure you were going to make it," Leila interrupted.
"Leila," Draco said.
"And I'm sorry Harry found out about us like that. He's probably livid, but I would've thought that he would be here. Where is he?" Leila continued.
Draco was at a loss for words. Leila wasn't making any sense to him. She was going on about her brother and she was worried about him. It was almost as if…
"Leila, what's the last thing you remember?" Draco asked.
"You and Harry were being idiots and dueling in the bathroom," Leila groaned.
"I—I think Madam Pomfrey will want to know you're awake," Draco muttered.
"Are you sure you should be doing that? You were hurt so badly," Leila said.
"Erm—uh Snape knew the countercurse. I'm fine," Draco said.
He quickly stood up and rushed out of the area curtained-off around Leila's bed. He practically ran to Madam Pomfrey's office and knocked on the closed door. No sound came, so Draco rapped harder on the door. Madam Pomfrey muttered from inside the room as a soft light began to pour out from underneath the door. The older woman opened the door with her bathrobe wrapped tightly around her and her feet in slippers.
"What is the matter, Mister Malfoy?" Madam Pomfrey asked.
"It's Leila. She—she's awake," Draco stumbled on his words.
"Thank Merlin," Madam Pomfrey whispered.
"But—but there's something wrong with her," Draco said.
"What do you mean?" Madam Pomfrey asked.
"Just go see her, please," Draco answered.
Madam Pomfrey nodded her head and gently pushed past Draco in direction for Leila Potter's bed. She glanced over the other two students in the hospital wing from injuries sustained from the Carrow's punishments. They were both sleeping and right now her priority was Leila. When she rounded the corner of the curtains that gave Leila privacy, she noticed that the young girl was sitting up in her bed. The young girl smiled at the sight of the older woman. Madam Pomfrey couldn't remember the last time she had seen Leila smile. It certainly hadn't been this school year.
"I always seem to wind up in here, don't I?" Leila chuckled.
"I suppose you do," Madam Pomfrey said.
"You must've sent Harry back to Gryffindor tower, didn't you?" Leila asked.
"Pardon me?" Madam Pomfrey responded.
"Well, I would hardly expect my brother to leave my side unless you forced him back, probably for Draco's safety after he attacked him in the bathroom. Has Hermione been in to see me? What about Ron or Ginny?" Leila continued.
"See what I mean?" Draco whispered.
Madam Pomfrey looked back at Draco and nodded. She took a few more steps closer to Leila before sitting down in the chair next to Leila's bed.
"Can I see my brother now? I want to give him a piece of my mind," Leila responded.
"Mister Potter isn't available right now," Madam Pomfrey said.
"In the morning then?" Leila asked.
"I'm not going to make any promises," Madam Pomfrey replied.
Draco watched the interaction with Leila. She thought that is was last year after Potter had hit him with some nasty curse. He still had a few faint scars across his chest, but Snape had come to his rescue that night. Both his and Leila's rescue. That night, he had accidentally hit Leila with an Unforgiveable curse meant for her brother. Why is that the last thing she remembered? So much had changed since then. Back then he and Leila were…well, they were happily together. Madam Pomfrey stood up and looked at him.
"I should give an update on Miss Potter's condition," Madam Pomfrey said.
Draco nodded his head.
"Don't confuse her," Madam Pomfrey said in a low voice.
"How long will she be like this?" Draco asked.
"Again, I can't say. She could remember in a few minutes or she could never remember," Madam Pomfrey said.
"You're supposed to be the Healer," Draco hissed.
"I am, I'm just not a miracle worker," Madam Pomfrey responded.
Madam Pomfrey looked back at Leila once more before leaving her alone with Draco. Leila kept her eyes focused on Draco as he moved to sit beside her bed. He awkwardly shifted in the chair as Leila smiled at him. She motioned with her finger for him to move closer. Slowly, Draco leaned closer toward Leila until she grabbed hold of his collar. She yanked him closer to her and without giving Draco anytime to stop her, she pressed her lips against his. Leila hungrily kissed him and at first Draco all-too-easily responded. Merlin, he had waited forever for something like this with Leila. Besides the kisses he had forced upon Leila early into her stay at Malfoy Manor it had been since last school year that they had participated in such an activity. Leila moved her lips began to place kisses on Draco's jaw, when Draco's conscience kicked in. This wasn't right. Leila didn't remember anything. If she did, she definitely would not be snogging him senseless. He gently pushed her away, only for her to have a look of hurt creep onto her beautiful face.
"Are—are you mad at me?" Leila asked on the verge of tears.
"No, not at all," Draco responded.
"Then why…" Leila began.
"Erm—Pomfrey gave strict orders to refrain from such activities so I can heal properly," Draco lied.
"How badly were you hurt?" Leila asked.
"I—um—I have a few scars," Draco said.
"I'm so sorry, Draco," Leila sighed.
"It's as much my fault," Draco said.
"Harry needs to think before he does things sometimes," Leila muttered.
"Honestly, I'm fine," Draco whispered.
"I love you," Leila smiled.
Draco froze again. He had waited so long to hear those words come out of Leila's mouth, but he knew that he shouldn't believe her. Her mind was still in the past, he could never expect such words from her. He had done too many terrible things. Too much for her to ever forgive. Draco pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Leila looked at him and then to the beautiful bouquet of flowers on the table beside her bed.
"Who sent me flowers?" Leila asked.
"Mother," Draco whispered.
"Who?" Leila questioned.
"My mother," Draco said.
"Your mother hates me. She told me to stay away from you," Leila responded.
"Something must have changed," Draco sighed.
"Like what?" Leila asked.
"Dunno," Draco lied.
"Why are you acting so odd?" Leila asked.
Draco simply shrugged his shoulders; he wasn't sure what he could and couldn't tell Leila. Leila sighed and reached around her neck for something. She gasped and frantically began to search through her bedding.
"No, no, no this can't be happening," Leila cried.
"Leila, settle down," Draco said.
"I can't! I lost your ring and my mother's necklace," Leila shouted.
"Settle down. They're in your dormitory. I saw them there myself," Draco assured her.
"How did you see them?" Leila questioned.
"Just trust me," Draco said.
Leila nodded her head before wiping away a single tear that had slipped down her cheek. Draco was surprised to see her strong reaction to those pieces of jewelry because it had been months since she had worn either. This just proved how badly he had hurt Leila and that feeling bother him. Leila blushed as she shyly looked up at Draco.
"Sit with me?" Leila asked.
Draco sighed as Madam Pomfrey's words rang through his head to not confuse her. Draco nodded his head once and Leila scooted over in her bed. She patted the mattress where she wanted him to sit. He knew that he was probably going to regret doing this, but he moved from the chair to sit on Leila's bed. Literally the moment Draco had settled himself on the bed; Leila wrapped her arms around his middle and rested her head on his chest. Rather awkwardly, Draco wrapped his arms around Leila. She snuggled in closer to him which caused Draco to slightly choke up. He had long since hoped for this moment, but he didn't want it like this. Sooner or later the truth would be broken to Leila and she would go back to hating him. But he really wanted to savor the moment of having the love of his life in his arms, no matter how wrong it seemed.
"How mad do you think Harry is?" Leila asked.
"He'll get over it eventually," Draco answered knowing that it actually took Harry quite some time to "get over it."
"I'm still mad at you for fighting with him," Leila sighed.
"You have a funny way of showing it," Draco said.
"No, you're just lucky that I'm so madly in love with you," Leila giggled.
Draco looked at the curtains straight ahead of him. Was that why she had been so quick to forgive him last time? Because she loved him. Leila deserved so much better than him. With that pang of guilt, he dropped his arms from around Leila, while she left her arms wrapped around him. He felt so conflicted. He couldn't decide what stance to take with Leila. The last time they had lived a lie, hiding their relationship, things hadn't turned out so well; but this felt so right, so natural. But Madam Pomfrey once more walked back into the room. Draco quickly scrambled off the bed and back on the chair. He looked at Leila who seemed to have an idea of why he did so.
"Mister Malfoy, I must ask you to leave. Miss Potter needs her rest," Madam Pomfrey commanded.
Draco nodded his head and stood up, when Leila cleared her throat. His eyes once more locked with her emerald ones.
"I think you're forgetting something," Leila said.
"Is that so?" Draco asked.
Leila chuckled and grabbed Draco by his tie and pulled him down close to her. She gently placed a kiss on his lips which Draco ended.
"Good night, Leila," Draco muttered.
Madam Pomfrey gave Draco a knowing look to which he shook his head. This might be harder than even he imagined. Madam Pomfrey informed him that he could come see Leila after classes tomorrow. Hopefully, the time would help her brain get back on track. He slowly left the hospital wing and hoped for Leila's sake that she would have regained her memory by tomorrow. On his way to breakfast the next morning, Daphne Greengrass caught up with him.
"Draco!" Daphne called.
Reluctantly, Draco turned around to wait for her. The girl's blonde curls bounced as she ran to meet Draco.
"How's Leila?" Daphne asked.
"She woke-up last night," Draco shrugged.
"That's a good thing, isn't it?" Daphne asked.
"It would be, except she thinks it's last year and we're still secretly dating," Draco scoffed.
"She will come out of it, right?" Daphne asked.
"Pomfrey won't give me a definitive answer," Draco hissed.
"But couldn't it almost be better if she didn't remember?" Daphne questioned.
The day seemed to drag on before Draco could finally go and see Leila, but there was no improvement with her memory. She still thought that it was sixth year. It frustrated him because Leila still thought them to be a couple and he tried hard not to take advantage of her, but things were becoming harder and harder. Leila asked for Harry again and that was when Madam Pomfrey decided it was time for her find out the truth. Madam Pomfrey asked Draco to sit in the chair while she talked. The older woman bluntly told Leila the truth, leaving Leila more confused. Draco tried to reach for Leila's hand, but her fist was clenched. There was nothing more for Madam Pomfrey to do. There wasn't some potion to bring back memory; Lockhart was prime example of that. But from what Leila had told him, the fool had obliviated himself. Leila claimed that amnesia patients only existed on her Muggle aunt's bloody soap opera programs. (Draco hadn't a clue what she was talking about.) Madam Pomfrey then suggested that Draco take Leila on a brief walk through the corridors, hoping to jog her memory, which Leila rather reluctantly stood up to go. Draco was thankful that everyone should be at dinner, so no one should run into them and make for an awkward situation. Madam Pomfrey had warned him not to give her too much information at once, so he walked with her in silence. Draco moved to wrap his arm around Leila as they walked down the corridor, but Leila shoved him off.
"Do you really want to get caught?" Leila hissed.
She still thought that they were secretly dating. Well, truth was they were publicly engaged and secretly nothing to each other.
"Pansy caught us in the common room at the end of last year and told everyone," Draco said casually.
"Bloody bimbo," Leila muttered.
"My sentiments exactly," Draco mumbled.
"Where's my brother?" Leila asked.
"We'll talk about it later," Draco said.
He really didn't want to be the one to explain the situation to her. To tell her that her brother was on the run from Voldemort and that he had kidnapped her, taken her to Malfoy Manor and was the root of this entire problem. They were headed back to the hospital wing when they ran into Zabini. Draco shook his head to communicate that Blaise shouldn't say anything, but he didn't quite understand.
"Finally returned with your fiancée, Malfoy?" Blaise smirked.
Draco motioned for Blaise to stop, but the damage had already been done and Leila had heard the question. Leila's head snapped around fast and her eyes seemed to bore holes into him. Zabini took this opportunity to escape, leaving Draco in the corridor with Leila.
"We're engaged? Why didn't you tell me? Where's the ring?" Leila questioned.
"Not now," Draco hissed.
"What else aren't you telling me?" Leila questioned.
"Plenty, but Pomfrey said to take it easy," Draco reminded.
"Fine, but let me get this straight: Pansy outed us as a couple and then we end up engaged?" Leila asked.
"There's some details missing in between, but yeah," Draco sighed.
Leila smiled and jumped unexpectedly into Draco's arms. She placed kisses on his cheek and squealed as several younger students walked past. He unwrapped Leila's arms from around his neck and gently set her back down on the floor. She grinned up at him and he sighed.
"Settle down, things are still…complicated," Draco said.
"However complicated they are, I never would have agreed to marry you if Harry wasn't okay with it," Leila said.
She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. This was how things were supposed to be for an engaged couple, they were supposed to be happy to be getting married; but this was too extreme. Both of them should have all their memories intact. Seeing Leila so happy about all this made him want to forget about telling her what happened in between: breaking up, the Astronomy Tower, her fling with Weasley, kidnapping her, the forced engagement. Why couldn't they just start over fresh right now? But he knew that it would be wrong. He would tell her, but when the timing was better. He didn't want to overload her. She had just found out that they were engaged after all. Maybe now would be a good time to bring Leila back to the hospital wing.
Quickly, Draco escorted Leila back to the hospital wing, hoping for no more awkward run-ins. They walked back into the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey looked at them hopefully, but Draco shook his head. No such luck. Things could even be considered worse because Leila considered them a happily engaged couple. Leila walked back to her bed and groaned at the sight of her pile of homework. Not only was she supposed to be doing seventh year work, but apparently she had gained another class.
"I'm never going to catch up," Leila groaned.
"I could tutor you," Draco suggested.
"I'm sure I'm not that far behind," Leila said.
Draco chuckled. It was nice that Leila's sense of humor had returned, but at what expense? Unknown to Draco and Leila, who were working on their homework, Professor McGonagall walked into the hospital wing and walked into Madam Pomfrey's office. She looked at Draco and Leila through the blinds in the window in Poppy's office.
"How is she doing?" Minerva asked.
"She seems to be fine. A little underweight, but she came to school like that," Poppy began.
"That's good news. She seems happier," Minerva added.
"That's what I wanted to talk with you about," Poppy said lowly. "Leila is under the impression that she's in her sixth year just after her brother and Mister Malfoy's debacle in the bathroom last school year."
"So much has happened since then," Minerva sighed. "Albus died and through circumstance of which I'm not aware, she ended up here in the possession of the Death Eaters."
"I've told her what date it actually is and then I told Mister Malfoy to be selective about what he shares with her," Poppy said.
"Do you think it wise for him to be with her?" Minerva asked.
"What choice do I have? One of them have to be with her at all times," Poppy answered.
"Albus always expressed hope that Mister Malfoy would come around. Let's hope that he was right," Minerva sighed.
Later that evening, when Madam Pomfrey had forced Draco out of the hospital wing, he wandered to the Headmaster's office. He didn't want to head back to the Slytherin common room, he just wanted some place to think and he knew that Snape had been called away on Death Eater business that night. He said the password to the stone gargoyle and the staircase appeared. He took the stairs two at a time and walked into Snape's office. He sat in a chair in front of Snape's desk and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"What the hell am I supposed to do," Draco muttered.
"That would depend on what is troubling you, Draco," a voice spoke.
Draco looked around the room for the voice. It sounded so familiar, but it made a surge of guilt wash over him.
"Who's there?" Draco hissed.
"It's only a mawkish old man in a painting," the man chuckled.
He looked straight ahead to see the portrait of Dumbledore smiling gently at him. Draco stood up and walked closer to the old man's portrait. He hesitantly looked at the painting. It was his fault that Dumbledore was now dead. Draco shook his head and turned to walk away.
"It's about Miss Potter, isn't it?" Dumbledore asked.
"That's none of your concern," Draco retorted.
"You're worried because she seems to have lost some of her memory," Dumbledore explained.
"How do you know that?" Draco questioned.
"I'm a portrait in a school, I hear things," Dumbledore smiled.
"Unless you know some spell to fix everything, I don't care what you have to say," Draco said.
"Sometimes what is easy isn't always right," Dumbledore said.
"Already figured that one out for myself," Draco scoffed.
"Ah, but Draco, what could be said of the inverse?" Dumbledore continued.
"You're talking like a nutter," Draco muttered.
"What is right isn't always easy," Dumbledore finished.
"No wonder you were made headmaster," Draco grumbled sarcastically.
Draco turned to walk away and knocked an object, which he assumed once belonged to Dumbledore from the desk. He growled an obscenity before bending over to pick it up.
"You're history is meant to guide your destiny, not decide it," Dumbledore
"How would you know anything about my life? You're a bloody portrait!" Draco hissed.
"A wise man I once knew once said: We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are," Dumbledore smiled.
"And what if we're forced to act on one? Does that really define who we are?" Draco questioned.
"Knowing you made the wrong choice…" Dumbledore began.
"Is that what you want to hear? That I botched things up that night on the Astronomy Tower? Fine! I did. I regret trying to kill you. I regret the repercussions it has had on my life and the lives of those I love. I regret that I was too stubborn to accept your help that night! Is that what you needed to hear old man? I'm sorry! I chose wrong! So now what do I do?" Draco shouted.
"The answer is clear," Dumbledore said.
"You didn't give me a bloody answer!" Draco hissed.
"Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask," Dumbledore responded.
"You're too damn cryptic to be of any help," Draco hissed.
"You can hardly expect me to give you an answer which you already know," Dumbledore smiled.
Draco placed his hands up in defeat and walked away. Even in death, the old man was still bringing him grief. He knew Dumbledore to be one of the greatest wizards of all time and if his bloody portrait couldn't give him help with Leila, he didn't know who else could help him. He was going to have to figure the Leila situation out on his own. As he walked out of the Snape's office, he noticed Phineas Nigellus Black had returned to his portrait. The old Slytherin headmaster muttered something about that bloody Muggleborn girl and red-headed blood traitor as Draco walked out of the room.
By the end of the week, Leila was still confined to the hospital wing and her memory hadn't improved. Draco explained certain things to Leila about what had changed, but he specifically avoided anything to do with Harry, or breaking-up, or Dumbledore. He knew that he should, but he couldn't bring himself to lose the sweet and doting Leila that had replaced the depressed one. He knew that he was going to have to tell her and before Monday morning, when Madam Pomfrey cleared her for classes. This news needed to come from him and not from someone who wasn't involved in the situation. At least if he told Leila he could control what was said. His conversation with Dumbledore's portrait ran through his head often and he had finally figured out part of it. What was right wasn't always easy. He needed to take Leila back where everything had changed. The place that he hadn't been to since that fateful night: the Astronomy Tower.